My Sister the Moon

by Sue Harrison

  “Do not be surprised,” said the one without teeth. “My sister has a gift of visions. We knew you would come, though we told no one.”

  She handed Kiin a wooden bowl filled with dried meat and small white slices of some root. “It is important that you eat,” she said.

  Kiin took the bowl and held it in her lap. How could she eat when they were not eating? They would think she was rude. But one of the old women leaned forward and scooped up a handful of the mixture and pressed it into Kiin’s mouth. The food was good, and Kiin was hungry, and so, without looking at them, she began to eat. The meat was rich, like whale meat, but also with the taste of seal. And the white root was pungent, cutting the tallow of the meat.

  The women moved closer to Kiin as she ate, making her feel uneasy, and she wondered whether she was expected to share the food, and so she held the bowl out to them, but they shook their heads. Kiin noticed that they did not take their eyes from her face, and suddenly, she remembered stories she once heard of spirit women, whose food carried curses or even death.

  But no, Kiin thought. These women were too full of laughter. They seemed more like children than old women.

  She took another bite of the meat. Yes, it was rich and good, and the root…Kiin was sure she had not tasted it before, but it was much like bitterroot bulbs. Another bite; she was tired. Perhaps after she ate she would tell them how much she needed to sleep. They would understand when she told them she had not slept for two days.

  Kiin scooped her fingers into the meat. Was the meat at the bottom of the bowl different? Thick and sticky? No, Kiin told herself. You are tired. All things seem strange when you are tired. Another bite. But this mouthful…this mouthful was almost too thick to swallow.

  The two old women sat down and again began to work on their grass mat. They were talking—in the Walrus tongue? Kiin was not sure. Their words stretched out, slow and long, as though each syllable were a thread strung from wall to wall.

  Darkness pulled at the corners of Kiin’s eyes, and she felt as though she were again in the ik, rocking with the swells of the sea. She shook her head. I have spent too many days in the ik, she thought. The waves still seem to move me.

  “I am t-tired,” she said to the women, and she tried not to close her eyes. But the women stared at her, as if they could not understand what she said.

  Kiin searched within for her spirit’s voice. It would tell her what to do. But her spirit no longer answered her, and she felt as though she were a child again, without a name, without a soul.

  She was suddenly afraid, and tried to get up, but could not. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound she could make was a tiny cry, as though not she but her unborn child controlled her voice. Kiin moved her eyes toward the women, and the effort took all her strength.

  They smiled at her as though nothing were wrong, and then smiled at one another. Then Kiin closed her eyes, closed her eyes to see darkness. And dimly, softly, sifting in through the grains of her sleep, she heard the toothed one say, “We know about your curse.”

  37

  “WE CANNOT.”

  “YOU WANT to curse all of us?”

  “We will be cursed either way. It is better to have the power of the good one to help us in this. Besides, we can kill the evil child after its birth.”

  “But how will we know which one is evil? Can anyone tell before a child has ten, twelve summers?”

  Kiin fought the clouds that seemed to drift in her mind. Where was she? Who was speaking? It was not Crooked Nose or Little Duck.

  “You, not I, see visions,” said one of the women. “I will do what you say.”

  “Then let her sleep. It is nearly morning and the men will want to trade for her today.”

  Kiin suddenly remembered the women’s faces: as yellow as dock root and wrinkled, one with teeth, one without. What had they given her to make her sleep so hard, without dreams, as though she had been dead?

  And with sudden panic, she remembered that her spirit had seemed to leave her, that she had been alone. In her fear, she opened her eyes, saw the two old women bent over her. Then in that moment, she heard a quiet voice, something from within, yet also from without, for Kiin’s spirit and both women spoke at the same time, saying, “Do not be afraid.”

  A stillness settled over Kiin, and she again closed her eyes. Again slept.

  She awoke to the smell of cooked fish.

  “Eat, little one.”

  Kiin opened her eyes. The old woman with teeth was bending over her, holding out a shell bowl full of fish, flaked into sections.

  Kiin sat up and took the bowl. She looked into the woman’s eyes.

  The woman smiled. “There is nothing in it but fish,” she said. “Eat it and then we will talk.”

  “You and-and your s-sister should eat, too,” Kiin said.

  The old woman looked over her shoulder at her sister and the sister filled two more bowls. They sat down facing Kiin, and when they began to eat, Kiin did also.

  When the bowls were empty, the toothless one asked, “Do you want more?”

  “No,” said Kiin. “It was enough.” She felt stronger, her head clear.

  The toothed sister gathered the bowls and wiped them out with her hand. Then she sat down again.

  When the two women did not speak, Kiin glanced up at them and saw they were both staring at her. She almost looked away, but then realized that they meant to test her power. Had she not seen the men of her village do the same? Kayugh was always winner, able to keep his eyes under his own control, to stare as long as he wished without blinking, without looking away.

  Remembering Kayugh, Kiin kept her eyes fixed between the women, so she could see both, but be dominated by neither. She fought each blink until her eyes began to burn, then she turned her thoughts from herself to things that brought joy in her life: the softness of a well-tanned hide, a finished seam of tiny stitches, the morning call of the auklet, the graceful swimming of the otter. These things kept her mind from the pain of her eyes, even when tears formed and spilled to her cheeks.

  “She is strong,” said the toothless sister.

  “She has to be,” answered the other. And both sisters blinked, giving Kiin clear victory. And so when they began to speak to her, Kiin was not afraid.

  “You should know our spirit names,” said the toothed sister. “Though they are something most people, even the people of this village, do not know.”

  “A spirit name is a sacred thing,” said the other sister. “Something that is tied to the soul.”

  “Then why t-tell me?” Kiin asked. “You d-do not know me.”

  “We are linked by the bond of our people, the First Men,” said the toothed one. “And by my dreams.”

  Kiin wetted her lips. Had they not told her they knew about her curse? So why take a chance with the sharing of names?

  “Do not t-tell me,” Kiin said.

  But as if they had not heard her, the toothed woman said, “My true name is Woman of the Sun, but you should call me Aunt as do all the people of this village.”

  The toothless one said, “I am Woman of the Sky, but in this village I am called Grandmother.”

  Kiin could not answer them. They had given something too sacred. But then she thought, Perhaps they did not give true names. They knew her curse. Or perhaps they were so powerful, they had no fear of her curse. Perhaps they wanted only to know her name. But why? Her name was not as sacred as the name of an old woman. It had not been with her long enough to gain much power, and she had no spirit name.

  “I am c-called Kiin,” she said.

  The old women nodded. “And you have no other name? No true name of the spirit?”

  “It is not the c-custom of our village,” Kiin answered.

  The women looked at each other, then the toothed one said, “You must have one. It is too dangerous to face our people without one.”

  “This you must keep secret,” said Woman of the Sky. “Do not even tell the man who takes yo
u as his wife.”

  The women turned to face each other, and though they gestured with their hands, Kiin heard no words. But finally Woman of the Sky said, “My sister names you for she has the greater power.”

  Kiin felt a strange stirring within her, not from her spirit, but from within her womb as though her baby were afraid. And for a moment Kiin forgot that there was a chance the child she carried was Qakan’s. For a moment she was only a mother, frightened by her child’s fear. She placed her hands over her belly and asked, “Why is my b-baby afraid?”

  Woman of the Sky opened her mouth as if to speak, but closed it. Then again the two sisters began the strange silent movement of hands, the talk without words, and the uneasiness that pulled at Kiin became stronger.

  Finally they both turned back to her. The toothed one spoke. “Little one,” she said, taking Kiin’s hands, patting them as if Kiin were a child, “there is something you must know about the child you carry.” She paused and reached into the top of her suk and pulled out an amulet, the leather old and dark. She squeezed the amulet in a slow rhythm, the rhythm of the pulse, the heart beating. “The spirit of the one you carry is strong, too strong for one body.” She held Kiin’s eyes with her own, and Kiin realized how powerful the woman was, and again the child in her womb moved as though it were afraid.

  “A man, perhaps, could contain it. But a child…” She shook her head. “A child would die.

  “So the infant you carry chose the path of life. He became two. One half taking the good of the spirit, the other half the evil.”

  Woman of the Sun paused, and Woman of the Sky leaned forward to say, “When you came, my sister had been warned in a dream of your curse. We decided to kill your baby and so protect our people. That is why we gave you the white root. It would not have harmed you, only the child.”

  “But the child was too strong,” said Woman of the Sun. “And then its spirit spoke to mine, telling of blessings as well as a curse, telling of two children, one evil, one good.”

  “Two children…” Kiin said. And suddenly it seemed she could feel two babies, moving, one lying up against her ribs, the other hard and solid within the cradle of her pelvis. And she wondered whether the good one was Amgigh’s, the other, the evil one, Qakan’s. “S-s-so you cannot kill the evil w-without killing the good,” Kiin said.

  “Yes.”

  “But after the b-birth you will k-kill the evil one.”

  “Yes.”

  “But who can s-say whether a new baby is g-good or evil?”

  “Perhaps their spirits will speak to your spirit,” Woman of the Sky answered.

  Kiin shook her head. “The evil one will lie.”

  “The secret will be revealed to you,” Woman of the Sun said. “Some way, you will know. Then you must have the power to do what has to be done.”

  “So we give you another name,” said the toothless one. “Something that holds power.” She got up slowly and hobbled to a niche in the wall, then drew out a small bladder pouch. Holding it out toward Kiin she said, “If the name we have chosen is a good name, a name of strength, the liquid in this pouch will taste sweet to you, like the goodness of fresh seal oil. If it tastes bitter, we must choose another name.”

  She brought the pouch to Kiin and sat down. Kiin held it in her hands as both old women closed their eyes and began to chant. There was a tightness within Kiin’s chest, a fear that was more than the movement of her children, as the truth of the old women’s words sank into Kiin’s soul. She laid the pouch in her lap and placed both hands over her belly. Two children. One evil, one good. One to hate, one to love.

  Suddenly the old women began to moan, a chant that was more like weeping. And finally the toothed one said, “You are

  Tugidaq—Moon.”

  The sister repeated the words, then said, “Drink.”

  Kiin raised the pouch to her lips and drank. The liquid was rich and sweet.

  38

  WOMAN OF THE SUN and Kiin sat together in the ulaq. Woman of the Sun had begun another weaving, and Kiin had offered to help her. Woman of the Sky had left the ulaq while it was still morning, and now it was noon.

  “She will not tell the men about your babies,” Woman of the Sun said.

  The thought had not occurred to Kiin, but she nodded, wondering at the trust she now had in the two women.

  “Too many of the men would kill both babies at birth, taking good with bad.”

  “You must do what is best for your village,” Kiin replied, her fingers sorting and rolling lengths of grass for the weft of the mat. Then Kiin realized that her words had come easily, without stammering. A good sign, she thought. A good sign.

  “Yes,” said Woman of the Sun. “My sister and I have agreed that there are only two men in the village strong enough to be your husband. She went to make sure at least one of them makes an offer for you.”

  Kiin’s hands tightened on the ball of grass she was holding. Qakan had little power. His spirit was weak. Why should he be allowed to claim her for trade? The old women had food and a warm ulaq. Kiin would be safe with them. She cleared her throat and asked, “Could I stay here and take no husband?”

  Woman of the Sun laid her hands in her lap and looked at Kiin. “Every woman wants a husband,” she said. “And the two we seek for you are the most powerful men in the tribe. Ice Hunter is the one who brought you here last night. He is chief hunter, but his wife died two summers ago and in his grief he has not taken another. The other man is Raven. He hopes to become shaman of our tribe. He has two wives, but he is a man who always wants more.” She picked up several strands of grass. “I would choose Ice Hunter,” she said. “He even speaks the First Men’s language. But perhaps he will not make an offer.”

  Kiin smiled, remembering Qakan’s awkward use of the Walrus language when all the while Ice Hunter understood First Men words.

  “Ice Hunter seems to be a good man,” Kiin answered. “But I do not want a husband. If I stayed with you, I could help in many ways. I could gather sea urchins and bird eggs. I will help you weave.”

  “We weave death mats,” said the old woman. “With the babies you carry, it is best you do not help us much.”

  Kiin quickly raised her hands from the grass she was sorting, but Woman of the Sun smiled and said, “This is only a ulaq curtain. Something for us.”

  Kiin cleared her throat. “I will bring food. I can fish, dig clams.”

  “We are given food for our mats,” the woman said. “And Ice Hunter brings us much meat.” She smiled. “He is my sister’s son.”

  The words did not surprise Kiin. There was a strength in Ice Hunter that spoke of Woman of the Sky’s care. But then Kiin realized the compliment Woman of the Sky was giving her when she asked Ice Hunter to consider Kiin as wife.

  “Why do you not want a husband?” Woman of the Sun asked.

  For a long time Kiin did not answer, but finally she looked at the old woman and when their eyes met, she said, “I have a husband among the First Men.”

  “You have other children?”

  “No,” Kiin said quietly.

  “Ice Hunter told us that the man who brought you here owns you as slave. That he captured you from the Whale Hunter tribe. But you are of the First Men. That is one of the things I learned about you in the vision.”

  “Yes, I belong to the First Men,” Kiin said.

  “Then why did the man who brought you lie?”

  “It is his nature to lie.”

  Woman of the Sun stared at her, then closed her eyes and began a gentle rocking. With eyes still closed she said, “He claims to be father to your babies. But he hurt you. He forced you. You did not want him.”

  The old woman opened her eyes. “That is not enough to bring the curse you carry.”

  “He is my brother,” Kiin said softly.

  For a long time, Woman of the Sun said nothing. Kiin felt the babies move within her, and she placed a hand on her stomach.

  Then Woman of the Sun asked, �
�Why did you come with him?”

  Kiin pulled back the sleeves of her suk and held up her scarred wrists. “He forced me,” she said. “He told our people I had drowned, then brought me here.”

  Woman of the Sun closed her eyes. “Is your other husband a shaman or a great hunter?”

  “No,” Kiin said, lowering her head. “He is only a boy. Just this summer he took his first sea lion.”

  “Then you must know you cannot go back to him. He would not be strong enough to stand against the curse of your children. Do as my sister and I say. You will have protection.”

  The ulaq door flap opened and Woman of the Sky stepped inside. “They are ready for the trading,” she said. “Both Ice Hunter and Raven will offer a bride price.”

  The large ulaq glowed with light. Eight openings in the roof let in outside light, and niches in the side walls were crowded with burning oil lamps.

  Woman of the Sun led Kiin into the ulaq, and the people made a way for them, many of the women bowing their heads as Woman of the Sun passed. The old woman squeezed Kiin’s hand, and a surge of strength coursed up Kiin’s arm. Then instead of looking down, Kiin raised her head, met the eyes of those staring at her.

  The children were round-cheeked and fat, many with beautiful eagle skin parkas. One little girl reached out shyly and touched Kiin. Kiin smiled at her. She reminded Kiin of Amgigh’s baby sister, and the pain of the remembering made Kiin’s eyes burn, but she forced back her tears. She could not return to her people. Even Woman of the Sun said so.

  Woman of the Sun stopped to talk several times, but they finally broke out into the open space at the center of the ulaq. Four men sat there, each with a pile of trade goods. Kiin recognized the tallest man, though his face was no longer painted. Woman of the Sun leaned close, and whispered, “Ice Hunter.”

  Of the other three, one was an old man, bent and white-haired, another was young, perhaps only two or three summers older than Kiin. The third man was neither young nor old. His face was heavily marked with tattoos—straight black lines on his chin like the tattoos of the Whale Hunters, and chevrons, one following another, over both cheeks until the points met and crossed at his nose. His hair, black as a cormorant’s wing, was so long that it touched the floor when he squatted beside his trade goods, and it was greased so that the oil lamps were reflected in its darkness. His eyes were narrow and slanted, but the brown circles of his irises were so large that Kiin could not see the white around them except when he looked to one side or the other.