Boots

by Angel Martinez

  Trembling, he shifted to his human form to give his body more room as he fought to enclose the ogre, who now felt the size of a watermelon inside him. The sphere closed tight just as he felt the expansion pressing on his heart. He struggled to breathe, concentrating on shrinking the enclosure. Little by little, he gained ground, a little more breathing space, a little less white-hot agony with every millimeter the ogre lost.

  Perhaps it was only in his imagination, but he thought he heard the monster shrieking as he forced it down to the size of a mouse, then a pea, then a dust mite. His promises allowed this attempt at extermination, most likely since self-preservation did not fall under willful harm. At last, he felt the ogre's magic extinguish, its oppressive presence erased from the world. The scurrilous property deed, still lying on the chair, vanished in a puff of sulfurous flame.

  Kasha lay on the floor, bleeding, his breaths heaving in and out in rattling gurgles. Victorious one last time, he had paid a heavy price. I do hope Willem comes soon. It would be good to see him once more.

  * * * *

  Willem wrapped the blanket close around him, staggering from the van before it rolled to a complete stop in the blue house's drive.

  "Wait!" Natt called after him. "Teddy, stop him!"

  Strong arms closed around him, holding him up as much as keeping him from moving forward.

  "You said he's in danger! I have to find him!"

  Natt hobbled up, shaking her head. "You can't just go haring off into an ogre's house, dear. Your death won't help him much."

  She stood still, eyes closed. A spark of light caught Willem's eye and he glanced down to see the top of her cane glowing.

  "What's she doing?" he whispered to the younger Englestads.

  "Gram's looking. Seeing what's happening inside," Morgen whispered back.

  "Don't worry." Teddy gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Nothing gets by Gram."

  "I don't know about that, dear. I still can't find your amplifier cable." Natt's eyes flew open. "But the ogre's gone."

  "He... left? Ran away?" Willem took an unsteady step forward. Since Teddy allowed it, he kept moving toward the house.

  "No, gone. He no longer exists."

  "That's got to be good, right?"

  Natt walked beside him, forehead creased in a frown. "I certainly hope so."

  The front door opened for them when Ettie muttered a few words over the lock. The stench that rolled out was appalling.

  "Kash?" Willem's stomach did a hard roll. Something terrible had happened. He could feel it.

  They made their way through the rooms in a tight knot, like children in one of those haunted houses set up at Halloween. Kasha wasn't in the front hall, the dining room, or the kitchen. He didn't answer Willem's increasingly anxious calls for him, ratcheting up the worry factor into the red zone.

  When they did find him, curled in a ball on the ugly, purple living room rug, Willem let out an anguished cry and flung himself to his knees beside Kasha.

  "God... oh, shit, he's bleeding!" Willem slid an arm under his head and shoulders and rolled him gently onto his back. Unconcerned for his own modesty, he pulled the blanket from around his shoulders and wrapped Kasha in it. "Kash? Sweetheart? Can you hear me?"

  Kasha's eyes fluttered open, those beautiful green orbs dazed and clouded with pain. He smiled and rubbed his cheek against Willem's arm. "You did come. I hoped you would."

  "What happened? What can I do?"

  "I ate... " Kasha stopped to cough. More blood flecked his lips. "I ate the ogre. Wasn't the best thing for my insides."

  "You'll be okay, right? I mean, demons don't... you're not... "

  Kasha slid a hand out from under the blankets to cover the one Willem had resting on his chest. "My dear Willem, I'm dying."

  "No! You can't!" Willem cast back desperately through everything he knew, everything Kasha had told him. "You're still mine. I won't let you. I forbid it!"

  "There's no wriggling out of it. Not this time. You could hold me here a bit longer by force of will. But it hurts, Willem. So terribly. I want to stay with you. But I'm no longer whole."

  The lump in Willem's throat threatened to choke him. "No... Kash... I love you. Please don't leave me."

  A strangled chuckle caught in Kasha's chest. "Ah, now he says it. You should have my real name for such sentiments, Willem. Kasha demon is what I am. My name is Yorukaze, the night wind. Take off the boots, my dear. Let me go."

  "I can't lose you now, not now!"

  "I'm sure these nice ladies will help you. Let you stay here to live safely, to create your beautiful works of art. And I think Teddy likes y--"

  Willem wrapped both arms around him and pulled him close. "I don't want Teddy. I want you. Kash... Yorukaze. Just you."

  "I'm so sorry." The little body in his arms shuddered. "To die by your side, the pleasure, the privilege is mine."

  Seriously? Lyrics from The Smiths? Now? "I know that one, too, hon," he whispered into his kasha's hair.

  "I thought you would."

  He gazed down into those feline eyes, the threat of tears stinging his own. So much agony there... He wiped the little trail of blood away from the corner of Yorukaze's mouth. "I can't keep you in pain like this. I wish there was something--"

  "Take the boots back, Willem. Do that last thing for me."

  His hands shook so badly, his vision blurring, it took some time for him to work the boots off without jostling Yorukaze too badly. "Do I have to say something?"

  Eyes drifting shut, Yorukaze whispered. "Tell me you release me. Tell me again you love me."

  "You need that second part for the spell or something?"

  "I just want to hear it again."

  Willem crushed him close with a strangled sound, half sob, half tortured laugh. "My kasha, my Yorukaze. I love you. I release you."

  A gentle hand touched his face, catching the tear that fell. "I love you, too, Willem. I'm sorry."

  The hand fell away and Yorukaze let out a soft sigh as his body went lax in Willem's arms. His heart shattered on that last breath, all shame forgotten as he sobbed, kneeling naked on the world's ugliest carpet, with his dead beloved in his arms.

  * * * *

  Yorukaze watched from far above his body. It hurt to see Willem so heartbroken, those powerful shoulders trembling with anguish. He wished he could offer some comfort, but he was too far removed now. Death was supposed to be the end of pain, wasn't it? Why did he still ache for his darling Willem?

  "You have changed, my Yorukaze."

  "My lady?"

  Amaterasu approached, her golden kimono floating around her cloud slippers. "You have learned to see through eyes other than your own."

  "Ah. I think I understand you. I suppose I am free now, though I've never known who guides the soul guide when he dies. I am lost, my lady. I know not where to go."

  "You linger out of attachment. Your love for your last heki-sama keeps you here."

  "I would it were otherwise. Better to watch over Willem as a ghost, though, than be separated from him."

  She touched his arm, or his approximation of an arm in the spirit world. "You have suffered long, my kasha. Perhaps too long. I cannot bear to see you languish as a shade. I give you a choice."

  He tore his gaze from Willem, hope leaping in him. "What choice, my lady?"

  "You may return to him. I will heal your body so you may live in it again."

  "And the price? There is always a price, yes?"

  "There is a balance to all things, Yorukaze. I need not tell you so. You may return to him, but you will be human, with the needs and frailties of a human and a human's lifespan."

  Yorukaze turned his gaze back to the living world where Willem still wept over him. A little smile twitched at his lips. "I give you Arwen's answer, my lady."

  "Pardon?"

  "I choose a mortal life."

  "So be it."

  The dizzy plummet toward earth stole any thanks he wished to give her, the rush and
plunge ending in a heavy thump as he rejoined his body. He gasped, his eyes flying open as his body arched in its struggle with the sudden renewed spark of life.

  Willem sat back in shock, hands running over his face and neck. "You're not dead? You're not dead! Oh, thank God, thank God!"

  "Goddess, actually," Yorukaze whispered. He still hurt and he was too weak to move more than his head. "She said I could stay. As a human, but I can stay."

  Willem kissed his face repeatedly. "However she let you, oh, fuck, don't leave me again. I'll take care of you. We'll make sure you get better."

  Strong arms slid under him and he felt himself lifted as Willem stood. "My dear, you did just hit your head. Maybe you shouldn't be carrying me?"

  "Don't care. You're not heavy."

  "And you do know you're naked?"

  "Again, don't care. You're what's important right now, hon. Ms. Englestad? Can we take him someplace where there's a warm bed?"

  Natt came into view. "Come home with us, Willem. You both need some looking after right now. I have plenty of room."

  Over the next few days, Yorukaze confessed everything, how he had misled Willem, how he had lied to the Englestads. By the thunderclouds in Willem's eyes, he could tell his love was angry, but Willem strove to be gentle with him in all things while he recovered and didn't shout at him even once.

  Being helpless annoyed him. Having Willem's hands on him to move him, to feed him, to bathe him, did not. He felt only gratitude to have those large, strong hands touch him again, in whatever capacity.

  However, Willem did extract one last promise. "You have to be straight with me from now on, Kaz. No half-truths, no evasions, no lies, not even when you think it's to protect me. You want this to work, want a real relationship, you have to be honest with me."

  Yorukaze made a face, though it was more for the T-shirt Willem had just forced over his head than the request.

  Willem laughed. "Don't scowl like that. You have to start wearing clothes, hon. Especially with winter coming. You're human now and you'll freeze."

  "It will hang on me and I don't like white," Yorukaze huffed as he let Willem help him into the armholes of the borrowed shirt. He moved like an old man still, but he could sit up and had begun to feed himself.

  "We'll get you clothes your size soon. Whatever color you want."

  "Black." He lay back, tired from the little bit of exertion. "And maybe red. I like red."

  "Okay, fine. But you're stalling. I'm waiting for that promise."

  He took Willem's hand, stroking his thumb over the callused palm. "You know if I give you a promise now, there's no compulsion to keep it. I could break it at any time, just like any other human lover."

  "I know." Willem leaned in to kiss his forehead. "We just have to trust each other. That's part of the whole human deal."

  "I promise. No more lies. No more deceptions." Yorukaze pursed his lips on a thought. "But if I should slip, would you do something for me?"

  "What?"

  "Rather than shout at me, would you spank me instead?"

  Willem gave him a wink. "I'll spank you anytime you want, sweetheart. Any excuse to lay hands on that gorgeous little ass."

  Someone cleared his throat from the doorway. Teddy stood there, red-faced but grinning. "Hey! Hate to interrupt the tender moment and all, but you've got a visitor, Will." He tossed an express envelope on the bed. "And you got a package, Kaz."

  Package? Yurokaze turned it over in his hands and then set it on the nightstand when Will's visitor appeared in the doorway. He had to tamp down a smile when he saw the familiar figure. Gunther's brows were drawn together as they did when he was uncomfortable or confused. He clutched a brown paper grocery bag tight to his left side as if it held the key to the universe.

  "Gun!" Will strode around the bed to give his bother a back-pounding bear hug. "Good to see you!" He turned and waved toward the bed. "Kaz, this is my brother Gunther. Gun, this is Yorukaze, the one I told you about."

  He took Gunther's offered hand and managed a pleasant, "Nice to meet you. Willem's told me so much about you." The whole thing felt beyond odd, though, since he had known Gunther for over twenty years.

  "What's in the bag?" Willem asked as he settled on the edge of the bed. "Gun, don't stare."

  "Oh." Gunther tore his astonished gaze away from Yorukaze to the bag as if he had forgotten it. "Sorry. You just seem... familiar. The bag. Right." He opened the top and pulled out a bottle of ginger ale and a box of tea biscuits. "Will said you were sick. These were the only things Will could stomach whenever he was sick."

  "That was very kind of you. Thank you."

  Gunther stayed for a few minutes, obviously uncomfortable. Knowing Gunther, it probably had more to do with being in a stranger's house than with meeting Willem's new boyfriend.

  When he got up to take his leave, he clapped Will on the shoulder. "Sorry about Puss. I know you loved that old tom."

  "I did, Gun, thanks. But he was more than twenty years old. How many cats do you know live that long?"

  The little misdirection was, after all, not a lie. Puss had died that afternoon in the blue house. What had been carried out alive in Willem's arms was neither cat nor kasha any longer.

  Will followed his brother out into the hall, where Yorukaze heard them whispering. At least his hearing was still sharper than most humans.

  "So, is he Chinese or something?"

  "Gun, for God's sake... "

  "I mean, he looks Oriental, but those green eyes."

  "Asian, dammit, Gun. Things are Oriental, not people. I think his family was from Japan."

  "Oh. Well. He's a helluva lot more polite than Joey. Probably a hard worker, too."

  "Keep up the stereotyping and I'm gonna kick your ass so hard you'll be looking for it for a month."

  "I'm just saying, I think he'll be good for you. You look a lot better. Happier. And he's good-looking enough to be a model or something. Not that I notice that stuff."

  Willem snickered. "Thanks, Gun. I'll call you in a couple days."

  With Gunther gone, Yorukaze returned his attention to the envelope. He tore off the perforated strip and shook the package upside down. A rubber-banded packet of documents fell into his lap. "Willem? What is all this?"

  Willem put an arm around him. "It's you, hon. It's hard to live as a human without a paper trail." He worked the rubber band off with his free hand. "This is your birth certificate, your state ID, social security card, high school diploma... "

  "I didn't go to college?"

  "Sadly, no. You could, though, if you wanted."

  "I don't think it's necessary." He leaned back against Willem's chest. "Where did all this come from?"

  He had no need to look back at Willem to see his grin. "Natt has friends in low places, apparently. Go figure."

  "Ah." He leafed through the documents for a moment before the realization hit him. "I can get a job."

  "You could, I guess." Willem sounded doubtful. "But I don't want you to feel like you have to. I'll support us. Natt says we can live in the blue house. It needs some fixing up after the last, um, resident, and I said I'd get everything right again for her. We'd pay her rent, of course, though she's not asking much. I could--"

  "No, Willem." Yorukaze put a finger over his lips to stop him. "I will get a job. You will do what you love. Haven't the Englestads already set up commissions for you?"

  "Well, yeah, but--"

  "And how will you fulfill these obligations if you stumble home every night exhausted from some menial labor job?"

  "Okay, but what would you do? You don't even know how to make change."

  "I can count. You can teach me. I'll find something I enjoy, Willem. Don't worry. I'll simply be my charming self. Who could say no?"

  Willem nuzzled at his throat. "Not me, that's for sure. All right, we'll try it your way for awhile."

  "That's all I ask. We can make adjustments as we go. As you know, I'm quite flexible."

  The world hel
d no sound more beautiful than Willem's laugh.

  Epilogue

  "Marsha? My ride's here! The safe's locked. Did you need anything else?"

  "Go, Kaz, we're done," the manager's voice drifted out from the stock room. "I'm right behind you. Careful going home, they're calling for snow tonight."

  "Yes, ma'am. See you Wednesday."

  He gathered up the bag with his new boots and shrugged into his coat. Willem had been horrified the first week he had worked at Shoe Heaven. Nearly his entire first paycheck had gone into footwear. After a stern lecture, Yorukaze had agreed to curb his "shoe habit" to once a month. He found he looked forward to the fifteenth of every month now.

  Morgen waved from the front of her Cherokee. She and Teddy both had jobs at the new mall outside town and took turns ferrying him back and forth. Someday he might learn to drive, but the thought terrified him.

  "Hey, handsome." She flashed her bright smile as he settled shivering into the passenger seat. "Ooo, what did you get? The loafers or the boots?"

  "Boots. The ones with the silver thread."

  "Nice." Her smile faded as she pulled onto the main road out of town. "I better warn you, Kaz. Doesn't sound like Will's had the best day."

  "Oh?"

  "Yeah, Mom went by earlier to bring over some cookies and he was having a hissy fit about that swan sculpture. Can't seem to, you know, keep it up." She snickered.

  "It might be the only thing he's ever had trouble keeping up," Yorukaze said in a dry tone. "Ah, well. I'm sure I can soothe his frustration."

  "I'm sure you can," Morgen said with a wink. "Just didn't want you surprised if he's all growly."

  He gave her a quick thank you peck on the cheek when she dropped him off, and then he hurried inside to get out of the bitter cold. A metallic crash and a thunderous male bellow rose up from the basement where Willem had his workspace.

  Oh, yes. Frustrated would be an understatement.