Killer in Sight (A Tom Lackey Mystery)

by Sandra Carrington-Smith

  hard to intercept his call to his little dealer and find out

  where he was meeting him to make his purchases.”

  It was all clear now -- all the puzzle pieces were

  finally in place.

  “Why don’t your children want you back into their

  lives, Yvonne?”

  “They blame me for everything that’s happened in

  their past, unfortunately. They don’t understand that

  everything I’ve ever done has always been for them. My

  hope, Lieutenant, is that someday they will finally see

  the light; and for that to happen, I have to be free. I’m

  sure you can see why you and your friend here cannot

  leave this house alive.”

  #

  Mike Howard was glad Kathy’s number was still

  programmed into his mobile phone, although he

  suspected that if he didn’t, Alexis probably had it

  committed to memory. He dialed the number and waited

  for her to pick up, a little concerned about being able to

  keep a straight voice despite the knot in his throat

  threatening to choke him. When Kathy answered, his

  heart pounded at the beat of shame.

  “Kathy, this is Mike Howard. How are you?”

  A little surprised to hear his voice, but eager to

  know how Alexis was faring, Kathy replied with

  excitement and disbelief intertwined into a near-whisper.

  “I’m doing well, Mr. Howard; how are you?”

  “We are doing well, now that Alexis has been found.

  She ran away to catch a bus headed to North Carolina.”

  Worried by the possibility of being accused of this

  latest evil, Kathy raised a hand into the air as if silently

  trying to stop Mike in his track with her gesture. “I

  knew nothing about this, Mr. Howard. I complied with

  your wish and interrupted all communication with

  Alexis when you asked me.”

  “I know, Kathy, and I am calling to apologize for

  my rude behavior. I was very upset that night, and to tell

  you the truth, I was scared to death. Tracey wasn’t my

  biological daughter, but I loved her as if she were; I was

  already grieving her loss when I felt threatened by the

  possibility of losing another child to emotional

  withdrawal.”

  The words coming from the phone weren’t making

  things right, but they helped Kathy accept the reasons

  behind Mike Howard’s behavior; as a parent, she felt

  empathically connected to him, and right now she could

  feel his pain and wanted to cry.

  “I understand. You don’t owe me any apologies.

  You only did what any caring parent would have done in

  your place.”

  “No Kathy. A loving parent should have cared

  enough to listen to what his daughter was trying to say,

  and I don’t know that I will ever be able to fully forgive

  myself for not having been there for Alexis when she

  needed me most.”

  Kathy was a little taken aback by this open-heart

  admission – what was Mike trying to say?

  “You did the best you could, Mr. Howard.

  Unfortunately, it is very hard to accept certain things

  that aren’t part of collective knowledge.”

  “You are right, and that’s why I should at least have

  listened to people who had that knowledge, or at least

  owned the ability to keep themselves open. When we

  were still in North Carolina, Alexis told me about a

  cigarette lighter which I had misplaced – she knew

  exactly where it was because Lily told her. Lily also told

  her about Tracey’s pregnancy and about the fact that

  more than one person was involved in her sister’s

  murder, and of course, I didn’t believe any of it. I

  blamed it on her overactive imagination and left it at

  that.”

  Kathy was holding her breath, eager to know where

  this conversation was heading and hungry for any

  additional words coming from Mike.

  “A couple of days ago I found that cigarette lighter,

  Kathy. It was in the exact place Alexis told me about; of

  course, I suppose it is possible she could have seen it,

  but Alexis never goes into the garage on her own

  because she doesn’t like insects very much, and

  furthermore she wouldn’t have gone to look into my

  toolbox. When I found my father’s cigarette lighter, I

  also thought about what Alexis said concerning her

  sister. She couldn’t have known of her pregnancy, and

  the fact that she did made me very uneasy, even the first

  time she mentioned it. I don’t think I even processed it

  in my mind that night – I just chose to brush it under a

  carpet of ignorance in favor of things I could tangibly

  accept.”

  Kathy was crying openly now, her tears running

  unchecked down her cheeks, and her chest rising

  violently to contain the sobs that wanted to burst out and

  be heard.

  “As you can see, I do owe you an apology Kathy. I

  wanted to believe that our daughter was slipping away

  because of some strange influence you bestowed on her;

  I was looking for a scapegoat.”

  “Alexis never wanted to upset anyone, Mr.

  Howard,” Kathy said in between sobs, “she was just

  trying to help. She has a gift – an unusual one, I grant

  you – but a gift nonetheless. It has often been speculated

  that children’s imaginary friends are spirits that find a

  way to communicate with them because children don’t

  pass judgment and are able to remain open to unknown

  things. Lily is a spirit, Mr. Howard. I don’t know who

  she is or why she chose to connect with your daughter,

  but I believe that she was there to support Alexis

  through her painful ordeal.”

  “I understand that now, and Lily will never be a

  forbidden name in our home again. Please forgive me

  Kathy; I can only pray to God that Alexis will find it in

  her heart to forgive me someday, too.”

  “I have no doubt she will, Sir. Alexis loves you, and

  nothing will ever change that.”

  Mike Howard was doing his best not to burst into

  tears, and Kathy heard someone else talking to him on

  the other end of the line.

  “Alexis would like to talk to you, Kathy. Is it okay

  if I put her on the line?”

  “Of course! I would love to talk to her.”

  When Alexis’s tiny voice came through, Kathy felt

  as if someone just injected her with a dose of sunshine.

  “Alexis! How are you Sweetheart?”

  “I am doing well, Kathy. How are you?”

  Kathy wanted to respond that she wasn’t doing well

  at all, and that she was worried sick about Tom, but

  Alexis wasn’t the right recipient for that kind of talk –

  this poor little girl had been through enough.

  “I am doing great, Alexis, thank you for asking. I’ve

  missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too, Kathy. I have your lighter, the

  one you kept on your desk at the studio; I think I

  accidentally put it in my backpack when I packed my

  things. I was trying to bring it to you, but I could
n’t.”

  “Oh, Alexis…don’t worry about that lighter. I think

  someone left it at my studio, and you can keep it if it

  reminds you of your time here.”

  “Really? I will treasure it.”

  Kathy wanted to hug her through the phone. “But

  tell me, Alexis, how are you feeling?”

  “I am feeling great now that mom and dad believe

  me. They understand that Lily is real; did you talk to

  them about that?”

  “No, I didn’t; they understood on their own, and

  you should really appreciate the effort they are making

  with this.”

  Oh, I do! And you should see how big Petey is

  getting!”

  “Petey? Who’s Petey?”

  “Petey is my kitten. My grandma gave him to me.

  He sleeps with me.”

  “That’s wonderful, Alexis. Kitties make great

  friends, don’t they?”

  “They sure do!”

  “I need to let you go, Alexis. Thank you so much

  for calling me. I hope you will continue to stay in

  touch.”

  “I will Kathy, but I haven’t told you the most

  important thing I need to share with you.”

  “What is it, Alexis?”

  “The girl who killed Tracey…she is really mad, and

  she is going to kill your boyfriend.”

  Kathy froze. “Did Lily tell you that, Alexis?”

  “Yes. She said that this woman is mad because her

  babies don’t want her, and she thinks Tom is an

  obstacle.”

  Kathy’s head was spinning. Who is this woman

  threatening Tom? Is she trying to kill him now? “Did Lily give you a name, Alexis? I know it is a lot

  to ask, but please try to ask her.”

  “She already did, Kathy. She said that her name is

  French or something…it starts with a ‘Y’…yes! Yvonne

  – that’s what she called her.”

  “I have to go, Alexis. Please ask Lily to pray for

  Tom and for me.”

  “I will Kathy, I love you.”

  “I love you too, Sweetie. I will talk to you soon.”

  She clicked off the call and tried to call Parker, but

  his phone rang without an answer. Frustration and fear

  embraced one another inside of her and she burst into

  sobs so violent her whole body was shaken by them.

  Tom was in danger. Lily had said so, and Lily didn’t lie.

  #

  Rose Howard drove in front of St. Francis Catholic

  church several times before she could make up her mind

  to stop and go inside. She hadn’t been to church in many

  years, even if as a child she was very active in her home

  church. The hypocrisy and the underlying corruption she

  had detected over the years had gradually eroded the

  foundation of her beliefs, and once she moved from

  New York City, where not going to church on Sunday

  was equivalent to social suicide for a young Catholic

  girl raised in the Famiglia mentality, her days sitting on

  a pew were numbered. Yet, even after all these years,

  she still could tap into the feeling of peace her young

  heart experienced when she walked through the doors of

  a church. Right now she needed to rekindle that sense of

  peace, and most of all she needed to bury her feelings of

  guilt in regards to her dead children.

  She finally parked and looked into the rearview

  mirror to check her appearance before getting out of the

  car – an old trigger probably buried deep in her

  subconscious from her childhood, when her mother

  overly fussed about looking one’s best when preparing

  to meet the Lord.

  She walked through the heavy wood door and

  immediately went to cross herself with holy water, then

  curtsied in front of the crucifix over the altar and filed

  into one of the pews toward the back of the chapel. She

  sat for a long time, her eyes taking in the perfect beauty

  of her surroundings and her soul lulled by the quiet

  peace reaching out to her like the hand of a loving

  mother. For the first time in many years – and especially

  since the horrible storms that had ravaged through her

  life the last few weeks – Rose felt like she had finally

  come home.

  She closed her eyes and tried to process the feeling

  – waves of different emotions washed through her and

  she was flooded with love pouring straight from her

  heart.

  Our Father, which art in heaven,

  hallowed be thy name.

  Thy Kingdom come,

  thy will be done,

  in earth as it is in heaven

  Give us this day our daily bread.

  And forgive us our trespasses,

  as we forgive them that trespass against us.

  And lead us not into temptation,

  but deliver us from evil.

  For thine is the kingdom,

  the power, and the glory,

  for ever and ever.

  Amen.

  “…deliver us from evil.” Guilt is the second evil

  after fear…it was time to let everything go – her guilt

  over aborting Lily, and her fear of having caused

  Tracey’s death by not protecting her enough. She knew

  that tradition calls for confession to deliver one’s heart

  from sins, but she had become comfortable enough in

  her own personal relationship with God over the years

  to feel confident about unburdening her soul without the

  help of a stranger.

  “Please forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have

  allowed a moment of panic to write the story of my life

  for many years. I ask forgiveness for not bringing Lily

  into this world. I know a life is always precious, even in

  the direst of circumstances, but at the time I was scared

  and I didn’t feel that I could be a good parent. I am

  human and I make mistakes, but I am not a bad person

  and I have beaten myself down long enough. I trust in

  your divine wisdom and I ask for forgiveness. If I know

  that you have forgiven me, I will be able to forgive

  myself. I fear now that my sense of guilt was the trigger

  to bring upon Tracey’s murder – I didn’t want the first

  child, and the second child was taken away from me. If

  your judgment is against me, Lord, I am prepared to live

  with that pain forever, but I am humbly asking you to

  grant me healing.”

  She stood up, unaware of the tears that had freely

  washed down her face and went to light a candle

  beneath the statue of the Virgin Mary.

  “This candle is for you, Lily. I am sorry I wasn’t

  ready to be your mommy. Fear ruled my thoughts and I

  never thought of the wonderful opportunity I was

  granted to bring such a bright angel into this world.

  Please forgive me, and thank you for being there for

  your sister when she needed you most. Mike and I, we

  didn’t understand, and we chose to keep our minds on

  shut-down to push away the pain when Alexis needed to

  be comforted. But you were there for her, and I don’t

  think I have words to express my gratitude to you. I

  wish I could keep you here with us, but it isn’t right –

&nbs
p; you’re an angel, and like all angels you should not be

  bound to this earth. I love you Lily, and I hope that if

  you ever choose to come back to Earth, you will be

  happy and free.”

  As her words ended, Rose felt a weight lift off her

  soul. Until that moment, she had no idea how heavy the

  chains she had been carrying were. She remained on her

  knees in front of the Virgin Mary, her eyes closed to

  allow the final debris of those old feelings to leave her

  heart, then reached into her pocket for more money to

  buy another candle.

  “This one is for you, my beautiful Tracey. You had a

  whole life ahead of you, and I will never know what it is

  like to hold your children and to see you grow older; for

  that I am sorry, but I am also grateful for the time I had

  with you. You were one of the brightest angels, and even

  if you were only in my life for a very short time, you

  have given me more joy in those few years that many

  receive in a lifetime. Go in peace my love, and rest

  among the most beautiful stars.”

  Rose’s chest shook with sobs as she let go of her

  daughters. The tears came furiously and copiously and

  she lost track of the time she was in the church. When

  she stood up she felt light-headed but her heart was at

  peace; she had suffered an unimaginable loss, but her

  living daughter was still here for her to take care of, and

  she pledged to dedicate the rest of her life to her

  happiness.

  She picked up her purse from the floor and wiped

  her eyes, then slowly walked outside. The sun was

  bright and she instinctually brought a hand over her

  brows to shield away the excessive light. Across the

  street, she saw a young woman with blond hair reaching

  her hand out to a younger girl wearing piggy tales. Rose

  watched them walk away together, smiling and talking

  before turning into a side street she never before noticed

  when driving through the area. She crossed the road and

  came upon the street, but when she looked up she saw

  that it led to nowhere – what looked like a street from a

  distance was instead a curve a few feet deep bordered by

  open woods. Rose stood there for a while, knowing in

  her heart that the two girls were rushing to meet the

  light of the sun filtering through the trees.

  #

  Alexis sat at the desk in her bedroom rubbing

  Petey’s silky fur, and she smiled when he pushed his