#Starstruck

by Wilson, Sariah

  It’s not true, I told myself over and over, ignoring the shards of ice that had solidified my veins. It’s not true. Chase wouldn’t cheat on me. He said he wouldn’t.

  My nasty, insecure voice raised her ugly head. But she’s gorgeous and would sleep with him in a heartbeat. She can give him what you won’t.

  Even if they weren’t on the verge of getting back together, had they dated? Chase had never mentioned that before. Not that I’d pushed him very hard about his past. From what I’d gathered, it was more colorful than a Vincent van Gogh painting, and I didn’t need the details.

  Now I wondered if that had been a mistake.

  I texted Lexi.

  I wanted her to talk me down. To tell me like she normally did that of course they weren’t and Chase had much better taste than that. Instead what I got back was,

  So not what I needed to hear. I decided to call Chase right then and there. He was supposed to be in Berlin today, and I was about to look up the time difference when Miriam stuck her head in the door. “They need you in the conference room.”

  With a heavy sigh, I shut my laptop and followed her out. I wondered if it would be another rah-rah/bragging meeting. Within the last few weeks, staff members had managed to secure a former Vine star, a stand-up comedian I’d never heard of, and an actor from a seventies sci-fi show who currently made his living going to Comic Cons and charging fans to take pictures with him (Stephanie almost spontaneously combusted at that last one).

  But it wasn’t a staff meeting. Just a handful of people, including Francisco. Francisco glanced at me when I walked in. “Thanks for finally joining us, Zoe. This is the committee to redesign the solicitation letter and our brochure, and Stephanie asked that you be included.”

  Design and graphics weren’t really my thing, being a math kind of girl, but I was excited that Stephanie had requested I be included. That sounded like it would bode well for my future here. I was all for anything that would tip the scales in my favor when I applied for a paying job.

  But two hours later I wasn’t sure why she wanted me on that committee. Nobody listened to anything I suggested, and after two attempts I gave up and stayed silent, wondering about Chase. Where he was and what he was doing. If he remembered to dead-bolt his hotel room to keep that opportunistic succubus out.

  The meeting ended, my shift was over, and I just wanted to get out of there. My phone rang, and I couldn’t answer fast enough when I saw it was him. “Hey!”

  “Hey, babe. What’s going on?”

  I gathered my stuff and had a momentary pang of weirdness when I noticed that my laptop was open. I could have sworn I’d shut it before the meeting. I swept it into my bag and headed for the front door. “The aliens have invaded and demanded our top movie stars be turned over. It’s a good thing you’re out of the country.”

  “Not so good.” He sounded tired. “Amelia’s terrorizing everyone.”

  I was so happy he was the one who’d brought her up so I wouldn’t sound jealous and psycho. I would be smooth and subtle. “What’s she doing?”

  “Apparently they brought her poached eggs with yolks instead of scrambled egg whites, and she’s refusing to come out of her room. The producers want me to convince her to do our scheduled interview and photo shoot.”

  “Did you have a thing with Amelia in the past?” So much for smooth and subtle.

  “A thing?” he repeated, which made me nervous. It seemed like he was being evasive.

  “Did you and Amelia date?” Couldn’t be plainer than that.

  My stomach flipped repeatedly while I waited for him to answer.

  “For, like, five minutes a very long time ago. It wasn’t serious. At all.”

  Oh. Somehow that made it worse. Obviously I didn’t know from personal experience, but I’d heard that casual flings were easy to fall back into. Although, on the plus side, he must have been the one to break it off, since she was the one still publicly pursuing him. I hated the fact that she was there with him and I was here without him.

  I had to get hold of myself. Not overreact. Smooth and subtle. “Maybe you shouldn’t be the one to convince her to do the interview and photo shoot, considering that the last time you asked her to do something, it was to stop being your girlfriend.”

  “You say girlfriend; I say angel of darkness. For the record, she was never my girlfriend.”

  The insecure voice was back. Do you know who goes on the record? People with something to prove.

  Shut up, I hissed back. “That sounds rough.”

  “And now all the people from the magazine are mad, and you know nothing good comes from a bunch of angry Germans.” He let out a tired sigh. “I have to go and see if we can salvage this. Knowing I get to see you soon is the only thing getting me through this. I should be home by nine tomorrow night. Will you come over?”

  I’d be able to get more information out of him in person than I could when he was trying to work. “Absolutely. Good luck. I lo—bye.” I hung up in a hurry, stunned at what I’d almost just done. I’d almost told him I loved him, when for all I knew he was using his lips to convince Amelia to do the interview.

  The entire drive home I convinced myself I was fine. That I could trust Chase and he wasn’t cheating on me. But when I was in the safety of my own bedroom, I opened my laptop and started searching for the pictures of him with Amelia. A half hour in and I was sobbing.

  Which is how Lexi found me. “Are you—are you crying?”

  I was never much of a crier, so I understood her surprise. “No. A twig covered in dust fell in my eye while I was chopping onions.”

  She sat on my bed. “Well, that’s not true. You would never chop onions.”

  That made me laugh-cry and sniffle. She went to the bathroom and got me a box of Kleenex. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Sucking in a deep breath, I tried to calm down. “I think he might be cheating on me.”

  “Why?”

  I blew my nose and threw the wadded-up tissue into our trash bin. “There’s this woman from work who’s after him. She’s just like Amelia Swan.” Not just like. The actual Amelia Swan.

  Lexi nodded. “I hate her already. And she’s going after Noah?”

  I nodded, my throat feeling so thick. “I told you he was on that business trip, and she’s with him.”

  She crinkled her nose. “I would hope he would have more integrity than that.”

  “You and me both.” My breath was shaky when I tried to inflate my lungs. “The thing is . . . the thing is, I keep wondering if he’s messing around with her because I won’t.”

  “If you have to sleep with a guy to hold on to him, you never had him in the first place. Don’t doubt yourself or your decisions.”

  She was right, but some part of me kept insisting I had to do something to secure Chase. To make sure he didn’t start looking around for someone who would give him what he wanted.

  “Isn’t he coming home soon?”

  “Yeah.” I sniffled again.

  “Then you need to get in there and mark your territory when he gets back.”

  I knit my eyebrows in confusion. “You want me to pee on him?”

  “What? Ew. No. When you see her, you let her know he’s your man and she needs to back off.”

  That wouldn’t be possible. “I’ve never even met her.”

  Now it was Lexi’s turn to look confused. “I thought you said she was from the Foundation.”

  That was the problem with lying. You started to lose track. “Right. I mean, I don’t really hang out with her or talk to her.” I pulled a thread on my blanket, unable to look my best friend in the eye thanks to the shame and guilt. So I deflected. “Shouldn’t you be telling me to ignore her and take the high road?”

  “Meh. That road’s too high. We could fall off.”

  I sat up and hugged her. I felt like the worst person in the world. After telling me everything would work out, she went to the kitchen to make dinner. She offered to cook me some
thing, but I’d been crying for so long that eating was the last thing I wanted to do.

  Plus, I didn’t deserve her food or her kindness. I had all these reasons, all these excuses, one even legal, for why I hadn’t told anyone I cared about that I had been dating Chase. But that’s all they were. Excuses.

  And all I had done was lie. Over and over again. To the people I loved. Sometimes by omission, sometimes deliberately.

  Maybe this was karma trying to teach me a lesson about being dishonest with my best friend.

  Chase was my boyfriend. There was no reason not to tell Lexi. Even if he did cheat on me with Amelia, and twenty-four hours from now we’d be broken up, it didn’t matter. I needed to tell her. Once Chase was home. Then I would bring him over and explain the whole thing to her. If he was sitting with me when it happened, hopefully that would lessen the chance of her leaping across the room and choking me for stealing her lifelong crush.

  To make myself accountable, I sent Chase a text.

  He had asked me on a couple of occasions why I hadn’t officially introduced him to my friends or my mom. He’d wanted me to meet his mom, but she was with Husband No. 9 in Zanzibar. Although I was thrilled he’d thought we were at the meet-the-family stage, I’d told him my concerns. That Lexi would be hurt. That my mom would freak out and go off the deep end. And I’d said, “You are the only thing that’s ever been just mine. If I tell them, then I have to share you. I like not having to share you.”

  He’d kissed my temple. “That’s why I didn’t tell Helen and all of America about you.” Which made me feel worse that I’d been upset at him for denying he had someone special in his life in that interview.

  Chase texted me back.

  There. Now I had to do it. Because it was time to tell my loved ones about Chase.

  I just hoped Lexi wouldn’t hate me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Now that I had a countdown and a mission, I was driving myself nuts. I tried all kinds of distractions. I kept rereading the same sentence in one of my all-time-favorite books. Missed entire plot points in the romantic comedy I streamed. Not even Jeopardy! could hold my attention. In desperation I drove out to Marabella, thinking housework and small siblings would help take my mind off things, but all Zia talked about was how much she loved and missed her Cheese.

  Which I totally got.

  I was relieved when Mrs. Mendel called and asked if I had a couple of hours free to watch Lily and Mei-Ling. Finally, somewhere Chase-free. Until I got there and saw one of Mr. Mendel’s movie posters on the wall and remembered the reason I even had this job was because of Chase.

  After I returned home, I got a text from him.

  It was probably more than I should have admitted, but it was true. I needed him. To reassure me and get this Amelia garbage out of my head.

  The arrangements were made, and the driver picked me up a little earlier than I’d thought he would. Which was fine, because I could let myself into Chase’s house. But when I got there, Chase sent me another text saying the flight had been delayed again. I told him I was at his house and would see him when he arrived.

  I hated how quiet it was without his laughter and his presence. I wanted to feel close to him.

  So I went upstairs to the last place we’d been together. The place where I’d realized I was in love with him. When I got to his room, I kicked off my shoes and climbed into his bed. His pillows and sheets smelled like his laundry detergent, and the faint scent of his cologne surrounded me. I planned on staying there for just a few minutes because I didn’t want to lie in wait like a creepy stalker. But I had underestimated my emotional exhaustion, because next thing I knew, Chase was shaking me awake.

  “Hey, Goldilocks.”

  “Chase!” For a second I thought I had dreamed him up, but the feeling of his strong hand against my shoulder was very real. I sat up and threw my arms around his neck, so relieved he was here. I almost knocked him off the bed.

  He laughed and then kissed the side of my neck. “I missed you, too.”

  I started planting kisses on the side of his face, then moved around to his mouth. He offered me a gentle and easy kiss, and I met it with desperation and intensity. I pulled him down with me, opening my mouth under his, crushing him against me. I needed to know he was mine. Not Amelia’s. That I was the only person who mattered to him.

  Chase quickly responded, a groan of pleasure sounding in his chest as his hands went around my waist, pressing and kneading. My heart jackhammered against my rib cage as the heat sizzled and snapped between us. That heat made my body languid and pliant, and I sank into the sensation of his expert kisses and touches.

  He teased me with his mouth until I was gasping and frantic. It was like he was using his lips to stoke a growing fire, one that threatened to rage out of control. It sent all my senses spinning until he was the only thing that kept me anchored to reality. I wrapped one of my legs around his, as if that would tether me. I wanted more. I was so greedy for him, for all of him. To feel him and kiss him and have the warmth of his skin against me.

  Without thinking, I reached down and grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt, intending to pull it off. I moved it up his torso, luxuriating in the feel of each taut ridge and muscle in his back. He lifted up slightly and helped me yank it off, then returned to me. I reveled in the feeling of his smooth skin under my shaky hands as I explored his back, shoulders, and chest. I wondered how it would feel against my own skin. But then, as if suddenly realizing what had happened, he grabbed one of my wrists.

  “Zoe,” he panted. “Zoe, wait.”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to wait. I couldn’t remember a good reason for it.

  But he lifted his head so I couldn’t kiss him. “Wait,” he repeated. “Not that I don’t very much want to keep going, but what are you doing?”

  Breathing hard, I tried to coax him back with the hand he wasn’t holding, but he was like an immovable stone. I whimpered in frustration. I was throwing myself at him, and he was telling me to wait?

  “Have you been crying? Your eyes are all red.”

  It had been hours since I’d last cried, but he sounded so tender, so concerned, that it made the tears well up again.

  “Babe? Talk to me.” His touch became soothing and sweet, and he turned onto his back and pulled me against his bare chest, then stroked my hair. And even though my face burned with electric heat from his tantalizing skin, he calmed my erratic pulse and made the tears go away.

  I again reminded myself to be smooth and subtle and not jealous, but what I said was, “Are you sleeping with Amelia Swan?”

  His hand went still against my hair. “What? Why would you ask that?”

  Not a denial. “Because I saw the pictures from London. Where you two were about to kiss.”

  “That didn’t happen.” I felt him move and realized he was digging around in his jeans pocket for his cell phone. A minute later he turned the screen toward me. “Are you talking about this?”

  It was the right picture. I nodded.

  “We were doing an interview at a café during lunch. These photos were taken by the photographer the interviewer brought with her. At this point Amelia had dropped her napkin and was leaning over to pick it up. They just have to catch you at the right moment and angle, and it looks like something it’s not.”

  “But there was an article with it saying you guys had reunited and were going to move in together.”

  “And who am I with right now? It might be a little awkward if I’m supposedly going to live with Amelia, but here I am with you like this.”

  “Oh.” It was all I could think to say because I felt so stupid.

  “We’ve talked about this. I told you how the tabloids are. It’s probably the studio’s publicity department trying to manufacture a relationship between me and Amelia to sell more tickets.” He put his fingers under my chin and drew my gaze up to his. “I have to say I’m kind of disappointed you thought any of this could be true.”

&
nbsp; “You didn’t have to say it,” I grumbled. “You could have just thought it.” I already felt bad enough that I had doubted him.

  He repositioned himself so we were lying side by side, looking into each other’s eyes. “You have nothing to worry about. I would never give you any reason to doubt or distrust me. I would never want to hurt you like that. Because I’m in love with you.”

  My heart stopped, the air in my lungs turned to ice, and there was a definite ringing sound in my ears. This was not real. This was not happening. I was still asleep and needed to wake up.

  “Ow!” he yelped. “Did you just pinch me for saying I love you?”

  “No, I thought I was dreaming and meant to pinch myself.”

  A satisfied grin spread across his perfect face. “This isn’t a dream. If it was, there’d be a lot less clothes involved.”

  But I couldn’t play along with his teasing. This was too serious, too important. “You love me?”

  “I love you,” he repeated, punctuating his declaration with a kiss that made me melt, like chocolate chips in cookies fresh from the oven. “When I was gone, I wanted to call and tell you about everything that happened. I realized you’re the most important person in the world to me.”

  “I love you, too,” I told him, but before I’d finished the last syllable, his lips were parting mine. As we kissed, everything felt different because he loved me. There was so much emotion behind his embrace I’d never registered before. He showed me with his sugary, addicting kisses that his words were true.

  “Um, I should probably go home,” I managed as he showered feathery kisses along my jawline. I didn’t want to, but I wasn’t sure I could remain strong if I stayed.

  “You probably should,” he agreed. He kissed me soundly one last time before sitting up. He put his discarded shirt back on and grabbed his phone. “I’ll call the car service.”

  “Or I could stay.” The words were out of my mouth before I could tamp them down. “If we can keep it PG.”

  His back was to me, and his shoulders hunched, like he was tense. I reached over to trace the bit of his spine he’d exposed with his actions.