#Starstruck

by Wilson, Sariah

  What now?

  Before I could ask what was going on, Chase turned the phone toward me. “Care to explain?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  HOMEWRECKING WHORE DESTROYS CHAMELIA!

  ENZ can exclusively report that Chase Covington, 25, has been carrying on an affair with college student Zoe Miller from Marabella, California. The 22-year-old vixen has been seen coming and going at all hours from Covington’s Hollywood Hills home. A source states, “Obviously Amelia’s beside herself. Totally devastated and inconsolable. She doesn’t know how Chase could have done this to her.” Recently leaked photos show Covington and Miller at Disneyland and in other private moments.

  My hands shook as I stopped reading the article and scrolled down. And there were the photos Braden had taken on Chase’s phone. Along with the pictures Chase had texted me, like the one of him in his hotel bed, the one of his arm.

  There was even a picture of my driver’s license, with my personal information blacked out.

  “I don’t know how this happened. I didn’t share these with anyone.”

  The expression on Chase’s face filled my stomach with shards of ice. He plucked the cell phone out of my hand and gave it back to Aaron. Then Chase took me by the elbow and steered me away from the ballroom. He found a small conference room with the door unlocked. `

  Once he shut the door, he released my arm, like he couldn’t bear to touch me. “How could you do this?”

  “I didn’t do this. I swear to you.” My knees felt weak, my pulse frantic and irregular. It was one thing to have my privacy completely invaded but quite another to have Chase accuse me of being responsible for it.

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. “The only two people in the entire world who have these pictures are you and me. And I know I didn’t sell these to ENZ.”

  “I didn’t, either.”

  “They have your driver’s license! How did that happen?” he yelled, his voice echoing off the walls around us.

  “Just because I can’t explain it doesn’t make me responsible for it. I don’t know. Maybe I was hacked? Maybe you were?” I felt desperate. I wanted to erase the rage from his eyes and have my Chase back. I tried to take his hand, but he stepped backward, out of arm’s reach.

  That hurt me more than anything he’d said.

  “Were you trying to get your fifteen minutes of fame? Did you think you’d make yourself infamous and that would bring people to your fund-raiser and get you a job? Was this all just some scheme? Is that why you wouldn’t let me touch you?” Every word felt like a staccato punch to my stomach. Before I could respond, he raked his fingers through his hair and continued. “I am so stupid. I’ve been so concerned about your privacy and protecting you, and you couldn’t care less about mine. You are just like everyone else. You used me.”

  My fear and hurt had started to warp into anger. “That’s not true! I’ve done nothing but protect you from the moment we met! No one in my life knows about you. Meanwhile, everybody in your life seems to know about me. How do you know it wasn’t Aaron or One-F?”

  “Because I trust them.” His eyes were so cold and dark, it was like he was a different person.

  And there it was. I could actually feel my heart shattering into tiny little slivers, so small they would never be put back together “You told me over and over again to trust you. And I have. I’ve done nothing but trust you, even when I’ve been afraid to. Even when I thought you might be cheating on me, I chose to take your word. But the one time I need you to put everything aside and trust me, you’re not capable of it?”

  He crossed his arms and said nothing.

  “I’m the stupid one. I won’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. I don’t lie to you. You’re always telling me what a terrible liar I am. Look at me. Am I lying to you? I’ve never given you a single reason not to trust me.”

  His jaw clenched tightly before he spoke. “You’ve done nothing but lie to your friends and family about me from day one.”

  I felt that devastating barb go straight to my gut. He was right. I had been lying. But never to him.

  As I stood there looking at him, I realized there was nothing I could say. He’d made up his mind, decided me unworthy of his trust, and there was no longer a future between us.

  It was over.

  And I was over being accused of something I didn’t do.

  “You couldn’t possibly love me if you think me capable of this.” I put my hand on the doorknob, knowing I was about to walk out of his life and never see him again. “You said once that you’d permanently maim anyone who tried to hurt me. But I can’t imagine anybody in the world hurting me more than you just did.”

  Tears blinded my eyes as I went out into the ballroom. I thought I heard him call my name, but I didn’t look back. I felt the stares and whispers of everyone around me. The story had obviously spread. I took the only exit I saw, the one leading to the front. It wasn’t until I was halfway down the red carpet that I realized what a mistake I’d made. I should have gone out the back entrance.

  The paparazzi and entertainment reporters lining the carpet had obviously seen the same article and photos. They started screaming my name, asking me about my relationship with Chase, if I felt any guilt over hurting Amelia. Some even called me names to get my attention. I held my hands in front of my face and risked only a single glance at them. There, in the middle of the crowd, was the man from the gas station. The one wearing the red, white, and blue denim jacket. He had a knowing smirk on his face. Was he involved in this somehow? I had to get out of there. And away from all this. I hurried to the valet station. “I need an Uber or a taxi, please.”

  “Right away, miss.”

  Chase would probably think I’d chosen this exit on purpose. That I wanted my picture taken. Sadly, I realized it no longer mattered what Chase thought.

  Then I had to just stand there, with raw and primitive grief choking me, tears pouring down my face, my arms wrapped around myself, ducking my head so they couldn’t see me. The paparazzi kept screaming questions and insults, but I ignored them.

  Finally, a car arrived, and the valets helped me get in. They blocked the photographers as best they could. As we drove off, I thought about that morning. How it had been the happiest I’d ever felt. My life had been perfect.

  And now it lay in smoking ruins all around me.

  I had lost the man I loved.

  When I got back to my apartment, having cried myself out, I had to pay the driver a week’s worth of babysitting money. The worst part? There were a handful of paparazzi already standing around in front of my stairs. How had they found me so fast?

  “Do you need help getting inside?” the Uber driver asked when he caught sight of my face in his rearview mirror.

  “I’ll be okay. Thanks.” It hurt to speak. My throat felt shredded, worn out.

  I rushed passed the cameras, refusing to look at them or answer their questions. This was life when you dated a movie star. We had been living in this little cocoon of bliss and safety where nobody else in the world mattered. This being hounded and harassed, this was the price of dating him.

  They took pictures of me struggling with my keys, trying to get inside. Their shouted questions made me so anxious. I finally managed to open the lock, and I collapsed against the door once I’d shut it. I heard my neighbors across the landing threatening to call the cops on the paparazzi because they were studying for finals. I’d have to bring Jill and Teena some cookies as a thank-you.

  Baking cookies immediately made me think of Chase, and the tears I thought I’d used up sprang back to life.

  In the bedroom Lexi sat on her bed with resting murder face. Every poster of Chase in our room had been torn down. Her pillowcase had been removed.

  She had seen the article.

  My shoulders drooped. “Lexi, please. Let me explain. This has all been really painful.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?”

  I sat on my bed, let
ting my purse fall to the floor. Lexi eyed my expensive dress, my shoes. “Did he buy those for you? Is he your sugar daddy or something?”

  I gasped. “I can’t believe you just said that to me.” She knew me better than that.

  “You’re offended?” she hissed. “Just think about the stuff I’m holding back! You’ve been dating Chase Covington for months. You’ve been lying to me for months. Which part of that is okay? Which part of that do you think you can explain?”

  I put a hand over my queasy stomach. “Technically I didn’t lie. You just assumed I was dating Noah, and I let—” Even as I said it, I knew it was no excuse.

  “Technically? Seriously? You think I’m going to stop being mad because of a technicality?” She stood up and started pacing, something she did only when she was really upset. “We’ve been fans of Chase our whole lives. And you were dating him. How could you not tell me?”

  “I wanted to protect what we had. His privacy is really important to him.”

  “So you were doing this all for Chase. Awesome. That makes you a martyr.” She flung her arms wide. “I hear churches keep a special spot in heaven for people just like you.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I lied to you. I shouldn’t have. I was just afraid you would take him from me. That he would like you better than me. And I . . . I love him, Lexi. I didn’t want to lose him.”

  Now that I had told her the most important reason, I hoped she would forgive me. Hoped I could tell her everything that had happened. I needed my friend.

  “I can’t do this with you. I’m going to stay at Gavin’s.” She grabbed a bag that she’d already packed.

  Tears burned at the corners of my eyes. “Lexi, wait. Please don’t go. Let’s talk about this. You’re my best friend.”

  That made her pause in the doorway. “I hope he was worth our friendship, Zoe. I hope the two of you are really happy together.”

  “We broke up,” I told her in a strangled voice.

  She blinked a few times before responding. “Then it sounds like you got exactly what you deserved.”

  When the front door slammed shut, my tears started all over again. It was painful to cry; my throat was already sore, my eyes burned, and my chest ached. In one day I’d managed to lose my boyfriend and my best friend.

  I wanted my mom.

  Once the tears subsided, I took a shower, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes. I looked at the expensive designer dress lying in a puddle on the floor in my room. I wondered if I should return it to Chase.

  Deciding he could eat the cost as a jerk tax, I kicked it into my closet. I checked outside my bedroom window and saw the same paparazzi smoking and talking to each other as they waited in the parking lot.

  I wasn’t going to let people like that make decisions for me. I wasn’t going to allow them to turn me into a cowering hermit. I grabbed a pair of sunglasses and held my head high as I ignored them again. They got in their cars to chase after me, but I didn’t know what they were hoping for.

  Once they realized that I wasn’t driving toward the Hollywood Hills, they gave up. They probably wanted an updated photo of Chase and me together. Too bad none of them would be getting that.

  I arrived at my mother’s house. I had half expected to see more paparazzi on the street or in her driveway, but the neighborhood was quiet, as always.

  As I opened the front door, I called out for my mom. She didn’t answer. I wondered if she’d seen the article. If she would be angry with me, too. I didn’t know if I could bear it.

  “Mom!” I was panicked as I called for her again. It was almost the little ones’ bedtime, but they might not be home. Maybe they’d gone out to eat.

  She walked out of her bedroom, still in her scrubs, Zia trailing behind her. “I’m here. What’s going on?”

  My mother didn’t know. She didn’t hate me like the rest of the world.

  I began to sob, and she opened her arms and hugged me tight. “Oh, baby, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  I nearly choked when I tried to speak. “Everything.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  My mom took me into the living room and sat on the couch. When I collapsed next to her, she put my head in her lap and stroked my hair, the way she had when I was younger. I poured my heart out, telling her everything that had happened, including how Chase and I had met online and the events of earlier today. How he had accused me of leaking photos. How betrayed Lexi felt.

  She just listened quietly, not saying anything. Zia stood next to me and kept patting my cheek with her pudgy hand. “Poor Zo-Zo. My poor Zo-Zo.” She even gave me a couple of kisses, something she did not bestow lightly.

  When I ran out of words and tears, my mom finally spoke. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could take the pain from you.”

  I had seen this pain before in other people. I’d watched as my grandpa faded away without my grandma. I’d walked in on my mother sobbing over Duncan more than once. I didn’t know a worse pain than heartbreak. And I’d suffered loss before. I should have been used to it by now. But somehow this deep, sharp pain in my heart felt unbearable.

  Grief and loss were the cost of love, and I didn’t want to pay it.

  But the bill had come due, and I didn’t have a choice.

  “I hope you know you could have come to me sooner. You could have told me about Chase.” Although she sounded calm and loving, I detected a note of pain in her voice. Another person I’d hurt with my selfishness.

  “I’m sorry. I know. I was just afraid.”

  My mom’s hand stilled on my hair. “Afraid of what?”

  “I know how much you wanted to be famous. And I guess I thought . . .”

  “What? That seeing Chase Covington in real life would make me run off and leave you guys behind so I could try to be famous?” It sounded stupid when she said it out loud. “I’m not a rebellious teenager anymore, Zoe. I’m a grown woman with grown-woman responsibilities. If I had to do it all over again, of course I wouldn’t leave you behind. But I can’t undo what’s done. And to be honest, you were better off with your grandparents. I never could have taken care of you the way you deserved. I was still a kid myself. But I love you. I have loved you from the very first moment I laid eyes on you. I’ll never leave you again.”

  That made the tears start up again. I knew my mom loved me, but we’d never really talked about her leaving me with my grandparents. It healed my heart a little to know that she’d take it back if she could.

  At some point my siblings had all filed in to the living room and quietly listened to us. The older ones smelled of sunshine and grass, as if they’d been playing outside in the backyard.

  Zia crouched down so we were eye level. “Cheese makes Zo-Zo sad?”

  “Yeah, Chase made me sad.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Then I hits Cheese.”

  “We don’t hit people, Zia,” my mom reminded her for the millionth time, but Zia wasn’t having it.

  She nodded and whispered dramatically, “I hits him.”

  “Captain Sparta sucks,” Zane contributed from behind his Spider-Man mask. Zelda nodded. Zander didn’t say anything, but given the lack of sound from his tablet, it seemed that he had paused his game, which was the equivalent of him agreeing.

  “Today he kind of does,” I agreed.

  “He forgot to be a hero.”

  Yep. He’d put the damsel in distress instead of trying to rescue her.

  At that, my mom told everyone to get ready for bed. There was a lot of whining and complaining, but eventually they left.

  “The Lexi situation is easy. She will come around. This isn’t the first big blowout fight the two of you have had, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

  “This felt different.” My mom hadn’t been there. She didn’t know.

  “It isn’t any different. It feels that way because for the first time you’re in love and you’ve had your heart broken. It’s coloring you
r perspective. I give her forty-eight hours before she’s apologizing. But with Chase . . . I don’t know what to say. I think I’m supposed to give you some cliché about fish in the sea or time healing. But I know from personal experience that none of that helps.”

  “You could always go with when one door closes, a window opens.”

  “That’s not usually helpful, either. Because sometimes when a door closes, you should get some big boards and nail it shut. And sometimes you should open that door back up because people deserve second chances. You don’t think Duncan and I fought? That sometimes we accused each other of things that weren’t true? We did. But I loved him and our relationship more than my own pride. Something to think about.”

  I did think about it. A lot. I spent the entire weekend in Marabella with my phone turned off. I wanted to forget about my real life and just be with my family.

  Feel like myself again.

  Early Monday morning I had to go to school. I got up in enough time to beat the traffic, but my mom was already in the kitchen, packing school lunches.

  “There are some reporters on the front lawn,” she offered.

  “What?” I went into the living room and peeked through the blinds. Sure enough, there were three guys standing outside, waiting for me. “That’s probably going to happen for a while,” I said apologetically.

  “The only exciting thing they’ll see around here is Zia’s rear end when she takes off her diaper to run in the sprinklers. Don’t worry about us. We won’t say a word. School’s almost done. Take your finals. Look for a job. Get all your ducks in a row.”

  I didn’t know if I could get my ducks in a row, but I could probably manage to herd them into the same pond. Because I didn’t want to blow it, either. I was so close to graduating that this was not the time to drop the ball. I gave my two-week notice to Mrs. Mendel via e-mail, because I didn’t want to work a job that Chase had found for me. I had some savings and just had to hope it’d be enough for living expenses until I found a full-time salaried job.