Ladies Prefer Rogues: Four Novellas of Time-Travel Passion

by Janet Chapman

  “I want you to shoot him.”

  “Since I can’t do that, would you like him to leave?”

  Margaret glared at him for several seconds, then said, “No. I’ll kill him myself.”

  Louise backed out slowly, looking back and forth between them like they were aliens. Which one of them just might be.

  “How comforting to know,” Ty said. “And I’m shaking in my Nikes, you tiny little wimp.”

  She apparently took offense. Her face went beet red and she made fists. “I will see you in jail before I leave here.”

  “Possibly, but you’ll be the one behind bars for fraud.”

  Her anger died. “Fraud? What are you saying?”

  Ty felt like a total shit. So he switched gears. “By the way, you never finished your joke. Ben Franklin walks into a bar . . .”

  She stared at him. “That was you? At the shed? Why did you hit me and then help me? It makes no sense. Just like none of this makes sense. Everything here makes no sense. Sir, what is going on? Fraud? What kind of fraud?”

  “Maggie, darlin’, you tell me.”

  She opened her mouth, but he stopped her with a hand. “I know, I know, don’t call you darlin’. I’m still calling you Maggie, though, so get used to it. So tell me, pretty Maggie, why have you come to my town? And why are you accusing me of something I absolutely didn’t, and could not have done? I was at Barby’s Blue Moon watching the Rockets game right about the time you were assaulted. I have at least twenty witnesses.”

  Shaking her head, she said, “Once again, I don’t understand most of what you’re saying. But I understand accusation and I understand alibi, but I saw what I saw.”

  “It wasn’t me, Maggie. You have to believe that. I’ve never hurt a woman in my life. And I sure as hell wouldn’t hurt someone as pretty as you are.”

  She gave a short snort. “Do not even try to appease me with false flattery, Sheriff.”

  “It’s Tyler. People call me Ty, though.”

  “Among other things, I imagine.”

  The quirk in her lips was heartening, even if she was trying to insult him. It meant progress. “Ty Coltraine. Sheriff of Little Fork. And I don’t fake anything.”

  She cocked her head a little. “That’s not what you said your name was when you met me at the Rooster.”

  “What did this imposter say his name was?”

  “Imposter, maybe, but you are the spittin’ image.”

  “Another conundrum.”

  “When you met me inside you said your name was Jesse.”

  Ty tried to keep the shock from showing on his face. But his heart was thumping something fierce. “Since my name isn’t Jesse, and I don’t have a twin named Jesse, then it wasn’t me. But Jesus . . .”

  “Jesse, not Jesus. And don’t try to call on Him now. Your goose is cooked, Jesse.”

  “Ty. My name is Ty.”

  She held her arms around her shaking body. “I might be in a very strange dream that I can’t seem to get out of. I mean, a TV? With moving pictures? What in Hades is that all about?” She seemed to shore up a bit and get her courage back up and running. “But when I get out of this dream, you are going to be burnt bread, mister lovely looking Sheriff.” She started punching the call button.

  Louise came running into the room, puffing. “What’s wrong?”

  “Arrest this man!”

  Ty sighed. “Louise, what’s my name?”

  Louise glanced worriedly back and forth between law enforcement and out-of-her-mind patient. “Sheriff Coltraine.”

  “Hah!” Maggie said, then held a hand to her head.

  “What’s my first name, Louise?” Ty said, just about seeing why his imposter bonked Miss Prissy Prescott.

  “Ty,” Louise said.

  “Not Jesse, right?” Ty barked.

  “No . . . although I don’t know your middle name.”

  “And no one ever will,” he said, completely irritated now, no matter how pretty the patient who he’d saved was. “But it sure as hell isn’t Jesse.”

  “Do you need anything?” Louise asked glancing back and forth between the two of them.

  “A bottle of whiskey,” Ty said.

  “Make that two,” Maggie said.

  “I’ll look into it,” Louise said. And then ran from the room.

  “Maggie, look at me closely,” Ty said. “Do I really look exactly like your attacker?”

  Maggie took her time, because looking him over was no hardship. As it hadn’t been the first time she’d laid eyes on him back at her father’s ranch. Well, brothel.

  He had the most amazing green eyes. They were hard to forget. His hair was the same gleaming black, but cut much shorter than before. The strong cheekbones were the same, the lips just as hard, and of course there was that dimple in his chin.

  “You’re sure you don’t have a twin?” she asked, for some stupid reason wanting to believe that he was, indeed, innocent.

  “No twin.”

  “An older brother, perhaps?”

  “A younger sister in California. No brothers.”

  “Well, then this imposter did a mighty fine job, Sheriff.”

  “My name’s Ty. Now look closer.”

  With pleasure. She didn’t know why she believed him, but she did. Or she wanted to. Or she was out of her mind.

  “Well, your hair is much shorter. When was the last time you’ve been to a barber?”

  “Two weeks ago. And my ‘barber’ is my mother. She can verify this. What else?”

  “You . . . look a little younger than you did yesterday. I would have guessed your age at late thirties if someone had asked. Now you appear to be more like thirty.”

  “Thirty-two. What else?”

  Maggie opened her mouth, then shut it again and looked away.

  “What else, Miss Prescott?”

  “My students call me Miss Prescott. You’re welcome to call me Maggie, seeing as you already took that liberty.”

  She snuck a peek at him, and the smile on his face was fairly breathtaking. Her heart started drumming even more than her aching head.

  “I appreciate that, Maggie. I’m honored. Please help me some more. I want to find the man that did this to you.”

  “Well, your teeth are much whiter. And . . . and your smile is different. It’s nice. You don’t smell like a spittoon. And, really, your eyes are kind. His weren’t.”

  “Beginning to believe I’m not the bad guy, Maggie?”

  “Grudgingly.”

  He chuckled, and that pretty much changed Maggie’s mind. His chuckle was nothing like the mean man’s chuckle. It was warm and rich. The mean man’s laugh was . . . evil. She shuddered at the memory.

  “Maggie?”

  He cupped her chin and gently turned her face toward his. Their eyes met, and just seeing the concern in his was her undoing. “I’m so confused,” she whispered. “Everything, everything is so different here.”

  “Different how?”

  She took a deep breath. “When I arrived, all was as I’d expected. Rugged. Wild. But I look around now and things are so strange in here. Your medical facilities are so much more advanced than even Philadelphia. And we have always prided ourselves on being ahead of other cities. How does no one know what is happening in the territories?”

  He pulled up a chair. “What’s different here?”

  “Look around! That TV thing! What is that all about? Who are all of those people and how do you get them in that little box? By the way, I’m especially taken with those people on something called Days of Our Lives.But, oh, my Loosie, the clothes those women wear! And what are those little metal things they use to talk to people who aren’t even there?”

  He pulled out his little metal thing. “Like this?”

  “Yes, what are those?”

  “Cell phones.”

  “See? I have no idea what those are.” She gestured around her. “All of these new-fangled boxes that beep at you. You seem to be so far ahead of us Easter
ners.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Excuse me?”

  He took her hand. “Maggie, something very weird is going on here. If my theory’s correct, prepare for a little shock.”

  Maggie put her free hand to her heart. “How much of a shock?”

  He hesitated. “About sixteen decades worth.”

  “Excuse me?” she said again.

  “What year do you think this is?”

  She frowned. “What year do you think it is? Why is everyone asking me about years and presidents and birthdays?”

  “How old are you, Maggie?”

  “Where I come from, that’s an insulting question, Sheriff. A gentleman never asks a lady her age.”

  “You’re really cute when you frown, Maggie. Glaring, not so much. I apologize. But thank you for even calling me a gentleman. Never been called one before.”

  “My shock at that news is overwhelming.”

  Okay, he was falling for her. There wasn’t a good reason on God’s green earth, but there you had it. He was falling for a smartass nutcase.

  Ty loved women. But he’d never loved a woman. Other than his crush on his teacher when he was a kid, there’d never been a single girl who made his heart go bang. Lower parts went bang a lot, but never in his heart or his head.

  Suddenly, his heart was pounding in a way he’d never felt before. It was sort of uncomfortable, and wildly exciting.

  And it was the most stupid thing he could possibly imagine. Why her? Why now? Why so hard? It made absolutely no sense. None of this made sense.

  Ty shook his head. “I’m guessing you’re about twenty-two,” he said.

  “So why are you asking me? You’ve obviously been speaking to the doctor.”

  “I have. I just wanted to hear it from you.”

  “Yes, I’m twenty-two,” she said, looking exasperated. “I’m unmarried because I’m not marriageable. I haven’t been happy, as much as I love to teach children. I wanted to find a new life, a new dream. So when I learned the news that my father had left me a ranch out west, I thought my hopes and dreams had come true. Instead I’ve landed into a nightmare. Happy now?”

  Ty’s pounding heart dropped straight to his toes. “No, Maggie, that doesn’t make me happy. Who the hell told you that you’re unmarriageable?”

  She looked away, out the window. “No one needed to tell me. A spinster knows these things.”

  “A spinster? At twenty-two? Around these parts that seems almost too young for marriage.”

  She glanced back at him, her whiskey-colored eyes wide. “Is that true? Or are you humoring me . . . Ty?”

  “Cross my heart,” he said, making the gesture.

  She watched him for a second. “What was that?”

  “You’ve never heard the phrase, ‘cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye’?”

  She pursed her lips for a moment, then obviously couldn’t help it and burst out laughing. Her laughter was light, sweet, and genuine. “That’s silly. Why would you hope to die? Or stick a needle in your eye?”

  Ty couldn’t help it; he grinned, too. “I think it’s a children’s saying. It just means that someone is very sincere about what they’re saying.”

  “Oh, I see,” she said, her lips still twitching. “So are you married, Ty? Seeing as we’ve become familiar enough at this point to be rude and nosy.”

  She was taking to this nosy notion rather quickly. “Nope.”

  “Do you have a sweetheart?”

  “Yep, her name is Josie.”

  “Oh.”

  She glanced out the window and he realized her profile was just as pretty as her face straight on. And with her head bandaged, her long lashes, cheeks, nose, and stubborn-looking chin were all the more pronounced. And her lips were a man’s dream. He didn’t know if it was wishful thinking, but she looked disappointed.

  “Josie and I have been together for four years,” he continued. “Ever since I rescued her as a puppy.”

  She turned back to look at him and once again wishful thinking had him seeing happiness where it probably didn’t exist. “Your sweetheart is a puppy?”

  “Well, she’s four, so technically not, but she hasn’t seemed to have read the memo yet.”

  She smiled. “What kind of dog?”

  “Heinz 57.”

  “What?”

  “She’s a mutt. I have no idea. But she’s big and shaggy and her favorite food in the world is hot dogs.”

  “Hot dogs? You mean she—”

  “No,” he said quickly, wanting to kick himself for forgetting she was still in this 1850 amnesia fog. “Hot dogs are a kind of sausage. Not one real dog is harmed in the making of this product.”

  “Oh! Do people eat them, too?”

  “Are you kidding, they are the staple of foot—err, sporting events.”

  “I would like to try one sometime.”

  “I’ll make dang sure that you do.” He took her hand again. “You know, maybe you can still find that dream you came out here looking for.”

  “How would that be, Sheriff?”

  “Ty.”

  “How would that be, Ty?”

  He took a breath. A deep, deep breath. “By recognizing you’re not just in a different place, but also in a different time.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Maggie, do you honestly believe it’s 1850?”

  “Of course. What do you believe?”

  “Take a deep breath, sweetheart.”

  She began to protest but then just huffed and sucked in a deep breath. She blew it out slowly and then said, “Okay, I’m ready. What should I believe?”

  “That it’s the year 2010.”

  Three

  Maggie’s laughter was adorable. Or possibly hysterical. Ty wasn’t sure which.

  “Two thousand and ten what?” she asked. “Bottles of beer on the wall?”

  “I don’t know how, I don’t know why, Maggie, but this is definitely not 1850. This is the year 2010.”

  “You . . . you people are playing with my mind.”

  “Or you’re playing with ours.”

  “You’re a twit.”

  “And you’re batty. Do you think we made up all of these gadgets to make a fool of you?”

  She looked around. “I don’t feel so well.”

  “I don’t blame you. You’re like a zillion years old if you really believe what you’re saying. None of us know what to think.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “You don’t believe me?”

  Ty stood over her and grabbed her shoulders. “We believe you. I want to believe you. But nothing you’re telling us makes any sense, either.”

  She stared into his eyes. “Which one of us is right, Sheriff?”

  He shook his head. “The strange thing is, Maggie, I think we both are.”

  “How is that possible?”

  He let go of her, because she felt too good under his fingers. Sitting down, he kneaded his forehead. “You know how you said your attacker was named Jesse?”

  She shuddered. “Yes.”

  “My great-great-great-grandfather’s name was Jesse. Jesse Coltraine. And he was the Sheriff of Little Fork—”

  “—in 1850,” she finished for him.

  “Yes. The man who attacked you died about one hundred and thirty-five years ago.”

  “So I’ve been locked in that shed for sixteen decades?”

  “So it would seem.”

  “I’ve aged fairly well, then.”

  “So we’ve all noticed.”

  She swallowed and was silent for several long seconds. Finally she looked up at him. “Do you know the last thing my mother said to me, before she disappeared?”

  “What, Maggie?”

  “She said, ‘Maggie you’re going to go far.’ ”

  “She sure was right about that one.”

  Her laughter was shaky. “I don’t think this is what she meant. She was hoping I’d live to see the day when a woman had the righ
t to vote. Do women have the right to vote now?”

  “Not only allowed, last election,” he said, showing less than an inch between his thumb and forefinger, “we came this close to electing a woman president.”

  Her mouth dropped open, and then she did something he totally did not expect. She started laughing, and then looked up at the ceiling. “Wish you were here, Mama.”

  “Dr. Sanchez says I’m free to go,” Maggie told Ty the next morning.

  “That’s terrific!”

  “Yes, terrific,” she said, looking like someone had just kicked her puppy.

  Ty pulled up a chair and sat down. “What’s wrong?”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Umm . . . no. Most people are thrilled to get out of the hospital.”

  “Well, most people don’t wake up in a strange world with no place to go and no money to buy clothes that closely resemble the ones people on the TV wear,” she said, waving vaguely toward the set that appeared to be tuned in to Dr. Phil.

  “Oh . . . of course. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “Are you positive my money’s worthless?”

  “Well, you might be able to get a good price for it on eBay,” he said. And before she could say, “What in Hades is eBay?” he held up a hand. “I’ll teach you that later.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m frightened.”

  He felt gut-punched and moved to her, sitting down on the edge of her bed and taking her shoulders. “Who wouldn’t be? If I were in your situation, I’d be terrified. But honey, we’ll figure it out.”

  “Where am I going to go?”

  He grabbed a tissue from the bed stand and wiped her tears as gently as he could. “Well, let’s see. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t agree to bunk down at my place.”

  She smiled briefly. “You’d be correct, cowboy.”

  “Josie will be there to chaperone.”

  “Josie’s a puppy.

  “Adult dog. Very responsible.”

  “Who didn’t get the memo about growing up.”

  “Do you remember everything people tell you?”

  “Of course. If it’s interesting enough to pay attention.”

  “Josie will love you.”

  “Probably, because I love animals. But I’m certain that Josie is very much loyal to her daddy. She’ll either eat me or turn me over to you on a platter.”