by Jess Bryant
Her cell phone buzzed and she stared at where it sat the dresser. She continued to carry the phone with her as usual the past few weeks but it had been wholly unnecessary. Other than the couple of calls she’d made to the newspaper in Denver she hadn’t used it at all. It had been so long since she even plugged it in to charge she was surprised it was turned on. She rose and went to grab it since it was the first time she’d gotten a message in days.
She listened to the voicemail and deleted it with a heavy sigh. It was a marketing call from her long distance provider. Figured. She didn’t have anyone else that’d be calling her. She chewed her bottom lip and gave her father a quick glance to make sure he hadn’t woken up before she gave in to the impulse to do something stupid.
Busy? She typed in the one word question and hit send before she could regret the decision.
Her stomach fluttered with butterflies. Zach. She didn’t have anybody else to talk to or hang out with. She didn’t have anybody else to entertain her so she gave in to the silly urge and told herself it didn’t mean anything that she’d left him mere hours ago and yet she wanted to see him again already.
They’d spent the last few days together hanging out, talking, getting naked and then talking some more. Spending time with him had been great and only reinforced her belief that she was far too close to falling for the handsome cowboy so she’d been careful not to spend the night again. Still, she didn’t think texting would hurt anything. Her phone dinged with a new message and she flipped it open with a grin.
Who is this? She read the text and rolled her eyes. She hadn’t given him her number. He’d never given her his either but she was wily like that when she wanted to be. She typed in a new message and ignored the butterflies.
How many women do you have keeping you busy these days?
It only took ten seconds for her phone to beep. She grinned. She really liked his promptness.
Two.
Her mouth fell open and she had to swallow a growl. That son of a bitch. What a jerk. Seriously? Two? Was he seeing somebody else?
They hadn’t really talked about anything like that but she’d assumed he wasn’t sleeping with other women. His words on the highway came back to her then. You know what they say about making assumptions. Damn him! And she’d actually started to like the guy. She was trying to think of the proper way to tell him to go fuck himself when her phone buzzed again and she opened another text message.
My mom’s keeping me busy right now baby-doll but she says to tell you hi.
Ah hell, she rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. He was messing with her. She knew it and she couldn’t help but smile anyway. Yeah, she liked him too much probably if she could see the humor in that and she liked him way too much if she didn’t mind that his mother obviously still knew they were seeing one another. Her phone beeped again.
What are you wearing?
She laughed out loud this time and then glanced at her father to make sure he was still asleep. He hadn’t moved. She quickly typed a new message and hit send before she could second guess herself.
What do you want me to be wearing? It took five seconds to get a response. Those hot pink fuck-me heels… and one of my shirts.
Oh. That was hot. She wiggled a little bit in her chair. He had a thing for her shoes. She had a thing for his shirts. It was a hell of a combination.
That can probably be arranged.
Her phone beeped a second later. See you tonight?
Yes.
She couldn’t stop smiling now if she’d wanted to, which she didn’t. Her friend with benefits was sexting her. She had plans for the night now. She didn’t have to pretend she wanted to do anything other than crawl back into his lap and forget everything else but how good he made her feel. Her phone beeped again.
Good. I intend to spank you for giving me a hard-on in the presence of my mother. Payback’s a bitch baby-doll.
She laughed out loud again. He had that effect on her. Despite everything else, he always made her smile.
You started it.
“What in the hell’s so funny?” The stern voice nearly made her jump out of her chair.
She looked up to see her father was awake. His dark eyes were on her, watching carefully, just as judgmental as always. Her heart pounded out of rhythm for a minute and she clutched her chest.
“Jesus Daddy, you scared me.” She sighed, “I thought you were asleep.”
“I was until somebody kept giggling like a little girl and woke me up.” He frowned at her.
Her phone buzzed and she looked at it out of pure habit. I’ll finish it too. See you tonight. She hastily typed in a quick later and then turned the phone off.
“Sorry.” She apologized as she moved closer to her father’s bed, “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m dying.” He scowled, “What’re you still doing here?”
He asked her the same question every single day in one way or another. And every single day she told him she was looking after him. He always scowled and changed the subject. Today, she wasn’t in the mood to keep playing games so she steeled all of her resolve and stared him down.
“I’m spending some time with my dying father. Is that okay with you?”
His eyes narrowed and his scowl deepened. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d back-talked him and that’s exactly what she’d just done. He looked as surprised by it as she did.
“No, no it’s not.” He sighed and the little girl that loved her daddy more than anything in the world broke into a million tiny pieces. “You shouldn’t be here. I didn’t want you here.”
There it was. Spoken aloud for the first time. He didn’t want her by his side. She looked down at the floor and took deep breathes, trying to steady her breathing in the hopes she’d be able to hold back the tears.
“You never wanted this life Bluebell and I never wanted it for you. I wanted you to have better, to live your own life on your own terms. I never wanted you to be stuck here in this town like I was.”
She looked up. Those were the most words he’d spoken to her in months, possibly years. And he’d said a mouthful. She wondered if her ears were playing tricks on her.
“You love this town. You love the ranch.”
“No sweet girl, your mama loved this town. She loved this ranch. And I loved her.”
Something was buzzing. It was like that moment in a movie where there was a loud explosion and all you could hear was ringing in your ears and the muffled drone of reality somewhere in the distance. It was like waking up to find your entire life had been a lie. Like finding out right was left and up was down.
“What?” She managed to shake her head through the fog.
“I hate cattle. I hate everything about them, the way they smell and how stupid they are. The only good steer is a dead steer in the form of a steak on my plate if you ask me.”
He still looked like her daddy. He had the same dark eyes and wrinkles from squinting in the bright Texas sun. He had the same scowl she’d seen a million times but he’d lost his mind. He was talking crazy.
“Daddy, you’re a cattle rancher. You’ve been a cattle rancher since you were just a kid.”
“I damn sure have, and let me tell you one thing. If I’d never taken that summer job working this God forsaken ranch I wouldn’t have met your mama and my life would have turned out a lot differently.”
Her entire world spiraled out of control, “But mama…”
“Was the best thing that ever happened to me? No use trying to deny that but I wish sometimes she hadn’t been a Montgomery. I wouldn’t have been a cattle rancher if there’d been anything else to be and still love that woman.”
As it turned out, down was up and left was right. Her father hated ranching? He’d only done it because her mother was one in a long line of Montgomery’s and Montgomery’s were ranchers? How could that even be possible?
“What…” She had to clear her throat but she wanted him to keep talking so she asked, �
��What would you have done if you weren’t a rancher Daddy?”
He scowled at her the same way he always did when she asked a question he didn’t want to answer. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he simply changed the subject like he always did when things got complicated. He’d been more open in the past five minutes than he’d been with her in twenty-eight years so she was shocked when he shrugged.
“A mechanic probably.”
She had no idea what she’d been expecting him to say but that hadn’t been it. Her father the mechanic? It was a strange image to try to create. Her father in short sleeves with a name patch on his chest instead of in a cowboy hat was just too odd.
“I always liked working on cars, tinkering with them, figuring out what makes them run. I like fast cars. I used to have a 1970 Hemi ‘Cuda and that baby purred. There was nothing better than being in that car, one arm around your mama as we drove around the back roads. I’d have given anything to get in that car and just keep right on driving forever with her next to me.”
She listened to him talk about his old car and this part of him she’d never known existed. His voice was whimsical almost, like inside his head he was picturing it all over again, living his dream. She didn’t recognize him but for the first time in her life, she felt a real connection to the man that was her father.
“I like fast cars too Daddy.”
“I know girl, I like to think you got that from me.” His voice returned to the normal scratchiness, “You also got your wanderlust from me too. I just never got to take advantage of mine to go and see the world and meet new people and be whatever I wanted to be. I got roots instead. You got wings.”
“Daddy I…”
“No, let me finish. You said the other day I never told you I was proud of you and I’m sorrier for that than you’ll ever know. I know you got a good life and that’s all I ever wanted for you. I didn’t want you to be held down by the weight of the ranch and everything that went along with it.”
Her bottom lip was trembling so she bit it and sucked back the tears. What was he doing? His words were going to tear her apart. He never talked like that. He didn’t talk feelings and emotions or dreams.
“Daddy it’s possible to have roots and wings. The ranch is my roots, it’s my home. You’re my home.” She said the words and realized for the first time in a really long time she meant it.
Fate was her home. Montgomery Oaks was her home. Her father was her home. She’d spent years running around looking for what’d been in front of her the whole time. She couldn’t find a home anywhere else because she already had one. It had just taken coming back to this place and facing the idea of losing her father, losing everything to make her see it.
“I tried to do right by your mama, I kept her ranch running, made sure it was a success, tried to raise you up like she’d have wanted but I know I messed up a lot along the way.” He frowned.
“No.” She shook her head, “Don’t say that.”
“Look, Bluebell, we never talked about it but you’re the last of the Montgomery’s, at least until you decide to have a family of your own. The ranch will fall to you when I’m gone. We should have talked about it before…”
“No.” She interrupted him. She didn’t want to do this now, not now, not when he was finally talking to her.
She couldn’t talk about what happened next, what happened when he was gone. All this time she’d been trying to get him to tell her what happened next and now that he’d opened up to her she couldn’t stand the idea. She didn’t want to think about it.
“I thought I had more time.”
“We still have time. It’s okay Daddy. We don’t have to do this now.”
“I just want you to know that I’ve set it up so the ranch is taken care of. It doesn’t have to be a weight pulling you down. You don’t have to worry about it and you don’t have to move back. All you have to do is live your life.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will. You’ll understand all of it.” He squeezed her hand.
The rare display of emotion and the gesture were enough that a couple of tears escaped and trailed down her cheek. She wiped them away and ducked her head. She squeezed his hand and then released him.
“Sorry Daddy.” She wiped at her cheeks, “I know how you hate crying.”
“I hate seeing you in pain sweet girl. You’re a strong one. Don’t you ever forget you’re a Montgomery and a Carter. You got the best of both of us in there.”
“I won’t.”
“Good.” He cleared his throat and scowled, “Now, go get Arlene and tell her I want my lunch. She should have brought it up hours ago.”
She managed a small smile. Figured. Her daddy opened up, talked to her, and then he shut it all back down. Things between them had never been easy but for the first time she understood just a little bit of the man behind the grouchy father that had raised her.
She headed downstairs to do as he asked and wiped at her cheeks again. It was like a flashlight going on in a room that’d always been dark. It didn’t fix everything, didn’t fill up the years of loneliness but things were a little clearer than they’d been before.
Her father hadn’t always been the rough, distant man she knew him to be. He’d had dreams once and he’d given them up to be with his beautiful love but then he’d lost her too soon. He’d done his best with the things she left behind, the ranch and their daughter. He’d made his mistakes but he was just a man that’d been a little lost. Lost just like her.
After she talked to Arlene she text Zach. She hated that more than anything she wanted to call him, wanted to go see him and tell him about the stunning revelations her father had laid on her. She knew that wasn’t what they had though so she text him instead and asked for a rain check on their plans for the evening. She needed to spend some more time with her daddy.
Chapter Fourteen
Zach turned off the engine of the Impala. After riding around with Bluebell the other day he hadn’t bothered to take it into town and fill it back up with gas. Since she’d canceled their plans for the night he figured he had some time to kill and had taken her into town, got her washed and detailed and serviced. It still hadn’t taken his mind off the pretty blond that’d wound him up with sexy text messages and then bailed on him. Frustrating to say the least.
He’d make her pay for it the next time he saw her though. That was enough to keep him in a good mood. He might even spank her for real. She’d been up for sex in the back room of a hardware store, in the backseat of the Impala down by the river and with her boots on. He wondered if she’d be up for letting him spank her perfectly shaped ass.
Lost in his fantasy it took him a second to realize she was standing in front of him. The door to the barn was open and Bluebell was standing in the entryway. She must have just walked up because he hadn’t seen her car when he circled the Impala and backed it into the space inside the barn. He slipped from the front seat with a grin.
“If you changed your mind, you should have worn your heels.” He joked as he noticed her feet were bare. Maybe she’d left them in the car? It wouldn’t have been easy to walk out to the barn in stilettos.
“I needed to get out of the house.” She blinked and shrugged one shoulder.
He furrowed his brow. She looked different. Her blonde hair was around her shoulders. She was wearing a pink tank top and blue jeans. She didn’t look bad, just different.
“I’m glad you came by then,” He watched her closely; “I thought you couldn’t make it because you were spending time with your dad?”
“I was.” She nodded, blinked, nodded again, “I was going to stay with him but then… then he went to sleep.”
“Okay.” Something was definitely wrong and he took a cautious step towards her, “Bluebell? Did something happen?”
“My daddy went to sleep and he stopped breathing.” She lifted her brows, lowered them and shook her head like it didn’t make any sense, “He died.”
; His stomach turned. That’s the look he hadn’t been able to place. Shock. He’d seen it on the face of his mother when they told her his dad was gone. He’d never, ever, wanted to see that look again on anyone, that lost, deer in the headlights, how did this happen and what do I do now look. And now Bluebell had that look.
“I’m sorry to hear that. He was a good man.” He moved towards her slowly, cautiously, like she was a spooked animal.
“I um…” she licked her lips, shrugged, blinked, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come I just… I couldn’t be there and I got in my car and I just started driving and… I’m sorry.”
He grabbed her wrist just as she turned to leave, “Hold on.”
“Okay.” She nodded and didn’t try to fight him when he turned her back to face him.
“Blue?” He took her chin and forced her eyes up from his chest. “You can stay. It’s okay.”
“I’m okay. Really.” She shook her head, “I should go.”
She wasn’t hysterical but she definitely wasn’t okay. She shouldn’t be driving. How she’d gotten to his ranch in this state was scary. She could have wrecked, could have ended up God knows where. She’d come to him and now he wasn’t letting her get back in the car.
“Is somebody at the house to deal with…” he had no idea what the correct way to phrase that type of question was so he let it hang in the air.
“Bobby. Bobby and Arlene and I think Rusty was there. There were a lot of people and the ambulance was loud but then they shut off the sirens and… it was quiet, too quiet.” She mumbled, “I had to get out of there.”
“Okay. That’s okay.” He nodded, “Did you tell them where you were going?”
She shook her head. He’d figured as much. She was in shock. She’d probably simply walked away, gotten in her car and left. She wasn’t even wearing shoes.
“Let’s go in the house. I’ll call and let them know so they don’t worry.”
“Okay.”
He took her hand and gently tugged her after him as he started towards the house. She fell into step beside him. Her hands were cold, probably from the shock. He glanced over out of the corner of his eye. She was pale and her blue eyes were as big as saucers. They were dry though and for that he was thankful. He could deal with a lot of things but crying women was not one of them. He hated feeling helpless and that’s how he always felt when confronted with tears.
