by Jess Bryant
He got her into the house and pushed her down into one of the kitchen chairs. He called the ranch house and a woman answered on the fifth ring. He explained who he was and that Bluebell was with him and the relief that came through the line told him they’d already noticed she was missing. When the woman started sobbing he promised to take care of Bluebell and get her home as soon as she was calm.
He glanced at the shell of the beautiful blonde staring a hole into the wall. Technically she looked calm but he knew beneath the surface she was anything but. She was falling apart but she was trying damn hard to hold it together.
“Arlene said she’d handle things until you get back.” He told her when he hung up.
She blinked, nodded and remained silent. Zach opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He opened it and slid it in front of her as he sat down in a chair beside her.
“Drink this.”
She picked it up, took a long drink and put it back down, “Thank you.”
Silence stretched in the room for a long minute. He wasn’t sure what to say or do in a situation like this. Her father had been sick but his death had still come out of nowhere for her. He went to sleep, never woke up. It happened as quickly as his father’s heart attack all those years ago. He hadn’t known what to do then either. He felt helpless.
“Blue?” He prompted when she remained quiet.
“I’m not sleeping with anybody but you. You know, in case you were wondering. I don’t know if you are and I guess it’s not really my business but…” She shrugged, “Just fyi I guess.”
Okay, that’s not what he’d been expecting to come out of her mouth. He ran a hand through his hair and frowned, “You want to talk about sex at a time like this?”
She wrapped her arms around her middle as if she could keep herself from falling apart and nodded, “I can’t talk about my daddy yet. I just can’t.” She took a deep breath, let it out, “If I start crying I don’t think I’ll ever stop so please, please just talk to me.”
“Bluebell, I…” He started but she cut him off.
“I know you don’t like conversation, that isn’t what this is with us. I know it but I need to talk about something, anything so please, we can talk about football or cattle or cars or sex. Anything but my daddy.”
Damn. His words were coming back to bite him in the ass in a big way now. He’d meant it when he told her he didn’t do conversation but that had never applied to Bluebell. Hell, none of the rules applied with her. He liked talking to her and not just the dirty talk or the sexting. Still, he had no idea what to say now so he scratched his head and finally shrugged.
“I’m not sleeping with anybody but you.” He did a mental recap and smiled softly, “I’m not having sex with anybody else either.”
Was it really just a few days ago he’d woken up to find her in his bed? It felt like it had been weeks ago, months even. She hadn’t snuck out on him and for the first time in as long as he could remember he hadn’t woken up alone. He’d liked seeing her in the first light of morning, liked it so much it’d scared him. It scared him even more that the past few days waking up without her had felt so awful.
“Oh…” She dropped her chin to her chest and scraped at the label on the water bottle with a pink manicured nail, “That’s good to know I guess.”
“So you haven’t been knocking boots with any of the cowboys that keep hitting on you then?” He managed a smile despite the fact the idea alone made his temper scratch to the surface.
“How’d you know about that?”
Because she was Bluebell. She was gorgeous and funny and sweet. Of course other men had noticed her, how could they not? He knew for a fact Riley had been interested and then there were the cowboys from the Roadhouse. He’d really like to deck Austin Evans for having the nerve to pick her up that time but he wouldn’t. It wasn’t his business, she was right about that much.
“In a town this size, word gets around.”
“True. I’m surprised nobody’s picked up on the fact we’re sleeping together. I figured it’d be all over town by now.” She almost smiled, “You must be pretty good at keeping secrets.”
He frowned, hard, “What’s that mean?”
“Nothing, just figured who you slept with would get around and I’d have a dozen angry exes to contend with by now.”
“I don’t have exes. You know that.” He shrugged, “And I don’t hook up with women from Fate so even if I did you wouldn’t have had to worry.”
She tilted her head and looked at him for a long minute. She looked thoughtful, like she was trying to figure something out. He fidgeted uncomfortably. He didn’t like the idea of being under a microscope. He wasn’t sure what she’d find but it wouldn’t be good. He was surprised again when she blinked and the look was gone.
“I’ve never slept with anyone from Fate either.”
He hadn’t said he’d never slept with anyone from town but he let that go. It had been a long time. Besides, he was more interested in her stories than reliving his. And, he had to admit, she kept surprising him.
“Never?”
“No. I didn’t have sex for the first time until I was in college.”
“Who was he?”
“Duck Tucker.” She nearly smiled again, the corner of her mouth twitched and then it fell back down, like she’d forgotten her father had died for a split second and then the pain came rushing back in.
He tried to keep the mood light, “You lost your virginity to a guy named Duck?”
“It wasn’t his real name. Doug Tucker, he went by Duck though so yeah, I guess.” She shrugged.
“Was he your boyfriend?”
“Yeah, for a whole year. He was the kind of guy mama’s everyone love. He was pure Texan. He won the football game against Oklahoma and I gave him my heart and my virginity too.”
Well that was an interesting way to put it. He found himself studying her and trying to figure out what went on in that pretty head of hers. Finally he sighed, “You slept with him because he won a football game?”
“Seemed like as good a reason as any.” She shrugged, “Who was your first?”
“Peggy Sutton.”
Her eyes went wide, “Peggy Sutton? You mean Peggy Sutton of the three divorces and many last names?”
“It was before all that.” He chuckled, “I was sixteen and she was my girlfriend for two whole months before she let me in her panties.”
“Damn, she’s a stronger woman than me.” She harrumphed, “I let you in my panties the second time I ever saw you.”
He smiled despite himself at the memory. It hadn’t exactly been the second time but it had been close and it had still been hell on him waiting that long. He’d wanted her the minute she stepped out of that Audi on the side of the highway. He’d wanted her when he saw Riley flirting with her at the bar that same night. He’d wanted her so much he’d have taken her in the church parking lot if she’d have let him. He still kind of wished she had.
“She was your girlfriend huh?” Her voice broke into his very vivid memories of that night.
“Yeah.”
“So you haven’t always been this way.” Her eyes narrowed.
He shrugged.
“Did you love her?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
“Sure, dozens of times, usually lasts straight through until morning.” He grinned.
She rolled her eyes, “That’s not love.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” He turned the tables, “What about you? Ever get that serious with anybody, been engaged, married?”
“No.” She shook her head and peeled the label off the water bottle, “I’ve had a couple of relationships that lasted longer than a few months but none of them healthy.”
“Healthy?” That was too interesting not to delve further.
“I apparently have a thing for emotionally unavailable men. I try to make them love me. It’s a daddy issue thing.”
“Did so
me guy tell you that?” He raised a curious eyebrow.
“Yeah, a guy with a PDH in psychology. Real smartass that it took him those extra years of college to figure that one out. Crap advice if you ask me.”
“Did the guy give you any decent advice? Like how to avoid men like that maybe?”
“Sure.”
“Did it work?”
She rolled her eyes again, “The fact that I am in any way involved with you seems like a resounding no.”
Ouch. That one hit a little close to home for his liking. Still, she was probably right and she was obviously hurting so he tried not to take it personally. He was what he was. He couldn’t change the facts.
“So why are you emotionally unavailable?”
He frowned. He was willing to talk. He was willing to distract her. But he had his limits. Talking about his emotions was definitely a limit. He liked her, wanted to be there for her, but he wasn’t going to let her go climbing into his head. No way, not ever.
“I was born a man. Venus and Mars and all that bullshit probably.” He shrugged. “We about done with the talking portion of this evening baby-doll?”
Her head tilted and her lips pursed. It was a dickhead thing to do. He knew it and he did it anyways. She wanted a distraction and he didn’t want to talk about himself so he did what he always did. He offered sex as an alternative.
“Yeah.” She finally nodded.
“Good, come give me some sugar.” He pulled her into his lap and breathed a sigh of relief. Distraction was a good idea. They both just needed a distraction.
He realized his mistake the minute she did exactly what he asked. She slid from her chair and straddled him. Her arms wound around his neck and he could feel her heat through her jeans as she pressed tight against him and his cock stirred to life like it always did when she touched him. Her breasts flattened against his chest and her mouth settled over his, soft and warm and he knew. He knew then that he was in over his head.
He didn’t do relationships. He didn’t do dinner. He didn’t do conversations. He didn’t do being needed but Bluebell needed him and he wanted to be there for her more than was practical or logical or reasonable. He wanted to fix this for her. He wanted to make it okay.
“Zach, please.” She broke the kiss and shifted against his groin at the same time, “I want…”
“I know baby. I know.” He brushed her hair back, knowing what she wanted without another word.
She wanted a distraction. She didn’t want to think. She didn’t want to feel. That’s why she’d come to him. He was what she needed and he’d happily give himself to her, to help take away her pain for just a little while. He’d deal with the repercussions later, right now, she was begging for him and he really liked it when she begged.
He kissed her again, kept it slow when she tried to speed it up. She rolled her hips into him again and he used his hands to hold her steady. He’d give her what she wanted, what she needed, but he wasn’t going to rush it this time. They’d rushed too many times before, this time he was going to do it right. This time he was going to savor her.
Her hands went to the button on his jeans and he pulled away, “No. Not here.”
“Please.” She pouted and he brushed a light kiss against her pretty lips.
“You drive me crazy Bluebell.” He admitted even as he picked her up and stood from the chair and she wrapped against him even tighter. “Remember when you went exploring and I was a good boy and let you?” She whimpered against his neck and he would have smiled if he wasn’t already so close to losing control. “It’s my turn. Remember what I said about payback?”
He carried her to his bedroom and let her slip back to the floor at the edge of his bed just as he had that first night. She released his neck and a second later her tank top was coming over her head and dropping to the floor behind him. She was wearing a black lace bra he didn’t remember ever seeing before, not that he’d really noticed her underwear. Underwear was fine on most women, with Bluebell he’d always been too rushed to see what was beneath it.
He liked her idea though so he shucked his t-shirt as well. He toed off his boots and then he dealt with his jeans. The next time he looked up not thirty seconds could have passed but she was standing before him in nothing but the black bra and a matching set of barely there panties. Her fingers found the edges against her hips but he put his hands against hers and held them in place.
“Wait.”
“What? Why?” She looked up at him, blinked in confusion.
“Because we’re doing this my way and I want to take those off.”
Her brow furrowed. He thought she might argue with him at first but he met her gaze and she released her hold on the panties. She didn’t exactly look happy about it but she’d given in to him. He grinned what he knew was an arrogant grin and ignored her for a half second to finish stripping out of his own clothes.
When he looked up and her big blue eyes had dilated with need his growl was nearly feral. He liked the way she looked at him. Liked the way her eyes drank him in like he was the best thing she’d ever seen. Fully aware of the way she’d touched him that first night he walked straight into her, let his chest brush hers and nipped at her neck.
She whimpered and he smiled against her skin. He traced the long expanse of bare skin between her earlobe and the top of her bra. He listened to the way her breathing hitched when he hit a spot he’d learned she liked. He liked the way her skin pebbled under his hands and mouth.
He explored her body just as she’d explored his that first night she’d come home with him. He licked and circled and teased. He ran his big hands up and down her sides. He traced from left to right between her hipbones just above the black lace of her panties. Her breathing became erratic but she let him play, let him explore and arched into him.
“You’re so soft. I’ve never touched anything so soft baby-doll.” He used his hands to turn her to face the bed and pressed his erection against the curve of her ass as his hands cupped her hips and his mouth explored the tender flesh behind her ear.
“Zach, please…” She inhaled sharply and pressed herself back against him to get more.
He thought about ripping off her panties and sliding into her right then and there but he didn’t. He told himself he was taking it slow this time for her. She needed this but she didn’t need to be ravaged. She needed to be adored.
So he went slow. He sucked her neck. He massaged her breasts. He listened to her every breathy moan and felt every twist of her hips as she tried to get more from him. He took his time and didn’t push her panties down until he couldn’t stand another second. He took her bra off and turned her back to face him.
The look of her, standing naked in front of him so openly, took his breath away. God she was pretty. Full breasts hung heavy with desire, her stomach was smooth down to the apex of her legs. She was a natural blonde, a fact he’d discovered weeks ago but that still amazed him every time. She was perfect.
He backed her up to the edge of his bed and then eased her down, lifting her up higher so he had a better view. He pressed her legs wide apart and she moaned a throaty sound that made him even harder. He loved the sounds she made when he touched her. He loved that she was comfortable enough with him that she laid her legs wide open to his view. She was pink and slick and wet.
“You are so damn pretty.” He hooked his hands behind her knees and pulled her close to his mouth so he could taste her.
“Zach please.”
He licked her and tasted her sweet beauty. She tasted so good. She always tasted so good. He licked her and sucked her and listened to her moan and watched her writhe against his mouth. She begged for more and he liked it so much when she begged that he gave in and slipped a finger inside her and then two.
“Oh God, Zach. Yes. Please.” She moaned. “Oh more, Zach, more.”
He grinned against her. He really liked it when she moaned his name. He liked it even more when she screamed his name as an intense orgasm s
tole through her body. Her hips jerked upwards to gain more and her eyes rolled back on a whimper. The sweet taste of her orgasm coated his tongue and he groaned in response.
It was still too fast. It was still too out of control. He listened to her breathy moans and knew he was too far gone and didn’t care.
“Oh Zach, oh, that was…” She gulped in a breath of fresh air and shivered, “Perfect. You’re so perfect.”
“I was just thinking the same thing about you baby-doll.” He moved up her body and he positioned her over his throbbing erection.
He wanted her like this. He wanted to feel her heat and wetness, wanted to feel skin against skin. That was how it should be, naked and together. He wanted it so much his hands shook.
“Zach?” She whispered his name and he met her big blue eyes that glowed with as much need as he felt. “I need you inside me, please.”
Yeah. Yeah he needed to be inside her too. He wanted her just like this but he couldn’t take it. He beat back the insanely crazy urge. He couldn’t.
“Fuck.” He had to move away from her to get a condom from the back pocket of his jeans. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He tore it open with his teeth and rolled it on as he moved back to her. He grabbed her hips, aligned her on the edge of the bed and plunged into her in one brutal push.
Bluebell arched against him and cried out. Her muscles tightened around him at the invasion. She felt so good. He had no idea how many more times he’d get to have her like this but the not knowing drove him insane. She could be gone soon, could end this now that her father was gone, she could be gone soon too and he needed her too much.
Nobody else would ever take her place in his bed. He might try to replace her but he knew nobody would ever be good enough. Nobody turned him on like Bluebell, nobody made him crazy like Bluebell. Bluebell with her cock tease games and craziness was what he wanted. She was perfect.
