Crazy Little Thing Called Love

by Jess Bryant

  “We haven’t really talked since your Daddy passed. How’re you doing?”

  “Okay.” Blue smiled softly and realized it was the truth. She was doing okay. One day at a time it got a little easier. She kept herself busy. It’s the best she could do but someday soon she hoped she’d be better than okay.

  “I heard a rumor Zach West’s been helping you cope.” Jenny Sue wagged her eyebrows suggestively.

  Her heart clenched just hearing his name. It figured that the months they’d spent flirting and fooling around nobody in town had so much as mentioned it but the minute it was over the gossip had somehow gotten started. Jenny Sue wasn’t the first to ask her about it, she was simply the latest and every time she thought it would get easier only to feel the same emptiness in her chest where her heart used to be.

  “We’re just friends.” It was a half truth at least. They’d just been friends, with benefits. Now they weren’t even friends. She tipped her beer to her lips and prayed the numbness would come for her soon.

  “Oh I’d heard you two were dating.”

  “Nope. Not dating.” She shook her head when Jenny Sue persisted in her questions.

  That was a full truth. They’d never dated. He’d been very clear on that aspect. “He’s free to see whoever he wants if you’re interested.” She nearly choked on the words but she got them out.

  “Me? Oh no way sweetheart. I gave up falling for bad boys when I kicked my ex to the curb. I’ve sworn off bedjumpers, liars and cheats.”

  If she wasn’t trying so hard to hate Zach for breaking her heart on the worst day of her life she’d probably have informed Jenny Sue he wasn’t any of those things. He’d never been with other women while he was sleeping with her and he’d never lied about who he was or what he wanted. As it was, she let it go and raised her beer in agreement.

  “Ditto for the emotionally unavailable.”

  Jenny Sue tipped her glass against Blue’s beer bottle and they drank with a laugh. Blue relaxed back into her chair. She’d missed hanging out with good friends. She’d moved too much to form any deep relationships but already she had Jenny Sue and Maddie checking up on her and dragging her out of the house when needed. It was nice to have friends, to have a home.

  “And the same goes for women.” Jenny Sue added, “I can’t stand women that break the girl code.”

  Blue raised a curious eyebrow, “We talking about anybody in particular?”

  “Peggy Sutton, that slut.” Jenny Sue snorted and Blue gaped as she continued, “I found out she slept with my ex Rocky while we were still married. Now I ain’t a saint but you just don’t break the girl code like that. I’m freezing her out.”

  Blue got in spirit with the newest gossip and nodded, “She’ll think she’s in Antarctica by the time we’re done with her.”

  She wasn’t normally so vindictive or gossipy but Jenny Sue was a good friend and she’d never particularly liked the other thrice married brunette. Besides, she had to deal with the memory of knowing the woman had also taken Zach’s virginity. Two strikes and since she was in a bad place relationship wise she was calling an audible on strike three.

  They toasted again and Blue felt some of the tension in her shoulders start to release. She played a game of pool with Austin and then played doubles with Maddie against some biker guys. She had another beer and was just starting to feel her mood lift when Maddie came striding back over from the bar with big brown eyes and her mouth formed a gape faced “O.”

  “What’s wrong?” She immediately reached out for the younger girl that she was now proud to call a friend.

  “I was just at the bar and Riley showed up.” Maddie lowered her voice, “Zach’s with him.”

  Automatically her gaze lifted and found the dark head that stood out above all the others. He was wearing his trademark pearl snap shirt with his boots and jeans but she couldn’t make her eyes look past the shirt. THAT shirt? Damn him.

  Her body tensed and heated in response to the memories of the navy shirt with the gray pinstripe. He’d worn it that last day when she buried her father, when she’d rode his lap in his truck because she’d needed him so badly and he’d seemed to need her just as much. If her heart had still been in her chest it would’ve dropped to her feet.

  The only saving grace she could think of was that at least it wasn’t the white one. She’d probably make a fool of herself by launching herself at him if that had been the case. She refused to tip her chin up and look into his face; to wonder and find out if those green eyes were still soft and if he’d found her in the crowd as easily as she’d been able to find him.

  “Do you want to leave?” Maddie asked.

  “No.” She shook her head. She was bound to see him eventually. Fate was a small town. It would be better to just get it over with. She wouldn’t run. She wouldn’t let him see how badly he’d broken her heart and she most certainly would not throw herself into his big strong arms.

  “Do you want a drink?” Maddie smiled knowingly and gave her a reassuring nod, “You look like you could use a drink.”

  “Yeah. I think that’s going to have to happen.” She nodded even as she felt the big presence grow nearer.

  “Hey Maddie. Hey Blue.” Riley reached them first but Zach was only a step behind.

  “Riley.” She forced herself to be strong and looked up to meet those green eyes, “Zach.”

  “Hey guys.” Maddie stood close.

  “How’ve you been?” Zach spoke over the loud music and the sound tickled her stomach like it always had.

  “Holding my own.” She answered before she thought about it and watched his eyes flash with recognition.

  She’d said that to him before in this very bar. Not very far from where they were now standing she’d said that to him and then they’d talked about his commitment issues and then she’d gone home with him to have no-strings sex. She licked her lips nervously and looked away.

  “Good to hear.” He cleared his throat, “I heard you’re moving into the Oaks, that you’re staying in town indefinitely.”

  “Yeah, turns out I’m a Fate forever girl after all.” She barely bit her tongue in time to stop the smartass, “but don’t expect me to give up the car or the heels” because that was just asking for trouble. Zach liked her car. Zach liked her heels. That would be like deliberately baiting a shark. It’d be crazy.

  She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t stand in the middle of the bar and make small talk with Zach. Not with Zach. She’d lose it. She needed a way to get away from him and fast.

  “Riley, I heard all the ladies talking about you being the best dancer in the county. Care to give me a twirl?” She glanced at the blue-eyed brother and prayed he’d read her desperation.

  “Sure, I’d…” Riley started to reach for her hand when Zach’s arm shot out and his palm connected with his younger brother’s chest. The two of them exchanged a look and Riley gave her an apologetic look, “I’d love to later but I was actually hoping to get Maddie on the floor.”

  She grit her teeth and tried not to roll her eyes. He was really stopping his brother from dancing with her? It was just dancing, it wasn’t like she’d propositioned Riley for God’s sake. And even if she had, it wasn’t any of his business who she danced with or who she slept with anymore. She glared at him when she felt Maddie wiggle beside her.

  “I’d love to.” Maddie nodded and then grabbed Blue’s arm, “That is, if you’re okay by yourself.”

  She couldn’t blame the girl for shimmying at the chance to get her hands on one of the West boys. She’d shimmied plenty of times at the opportunity. Sure Riley was cute and charming even if he didn’t do it for her. She wouldn’t be surprised if he did it for Maddie, especially after all the years she’d just been his gal pal.

  “Go. Enjoy.” She gave Riley a pointed look that told him she hadn’t missed his defection to his brother, “I’m going to hold you to that dance later buddy.”

  He nodded and in a flash he and Maddie were han
d in hand heading towards the dance floor. She realized a moment too late that letting Maddie go with Riley didn’t just leave her alone. It left her with Zach.

  He was standing too close. This close to him he’d be able to hear her heart pound in her chest. This close she could smell that distinctly Zach smell that made her belly tighten in anticipation. This close her skin itched so she needed to get away from him.

  “Can I get you a drink?”

  “No thanks. I have to drive home later.”

  “Water’s a drink too.” One corner of his mouth ticked up slightly, “Come on, I’ll get you a water at the bar.”

  He reached out and his big palm settled against the small of her back. He touched her the same way he’d touched her a hundred times. Only this time she flinched because this time she’d fall apart if he touched her. This time his touch made the aching a hundred thousand times worse and she couldn’t keep it under her mask of cool.

  “Blue…” His tone was lower, husky and it took everything in her to pull away.

  “Please don’t.” She shook her head and looked away.

  “Okay.” He nodded and removed his hand.

  “I’m going to go dance. Excuse me.” She turned on her heel and walked away from him as quickly as she could despite the promise she’d made to herself that she wouldn’t run.

  Zach watched her pretty blond head walk away from him and felt his anger pitch to the surface. She grabbed a rough looking biker guy and the loser had the balls to slip his hand around her hips as they walked out onto the dance floor. He wanted to punch him, wanted to punch anything or anyone. He was so far past calm he was seeing spots but he took a deep breath and tried to be logical.

  He hadn’t known she was going to be here. He hadn’t known how he’d react the first time he was forced to see her again. He hadn’t known his body would turn on him, that he’d break out in a nervous sweat that his throat would burn with words he couldn’t say. He hadn’t known it would feel like his entire universe had just been demolished in one fell swoop when she turned her back on him and walked away.

  God she looked pretty. She always looked so damn pretty. She was wearing another dress, one he hadn’t seen on her before. She was wearing a shiny red dress that he’d never had the pleasure of pushing up, of sliding his hands beneath to stroke her ass and find out if she was wet for him beneath her panties. God he wanted to though, wanted to right then and there, could barely think of anything else.

  Except for the one other thought that he couldn’t push down, the one that told him the biker deserved a warning about where his hands belonged and where they didn’t. His hands didn’t belong anywhere near Bluebell, let alone on her warm, smooth skin. The biker shouldn’t be touching her; nobody should be touching her but him.

  The biker’s hand dropped from her hip to the curve of her ass and he heard her growl a warning and try to push the guy away and he was already on the move. He stormed through the crowd to get to her. He was going to murder the biker.

  “I think this dance is over.” He growled as he clutched a shoulder and pulled hard in the opposite direction.

  “What? Hey?” The guy groaned and tried to shrug him off.

  “Zach! Stop it!” Bluebell’s eyes went wide and her mouth gaped open.

  “Get off me bro. We were just dancing.” The guy tried to shrug him off again so he increased the pressure and held him a firm two feet away from where Bluebell was staring at them in horror now.

  “What you were just doing is trying to cop a feel and the lady said no. Take it somewhere else.” His voice was dangerously low, a growl and threat of violence.

  “Zach! I said stop it.” Bluebell growled, “Please. Stop.”

  “Damn bro, let up. I’m going.”

  “When the lady says no, it means no.” He hissed.

  “Zach! You’re scaring me. Stop it.” Bluebell’s voice had changed to a low whisper and he felt her small hand on his arm.

  It was like being electrocuted. All the synapses in his body hissed and died at the exact same time. Some of the violent need to bash this guy’s face through the back of his skull lessened and the buzzing in his ears lowered to a reasonable level.

  “I didn’t know she was your girl. Swear.” The guy whined at the way his shoulder was twisted to nearly the breaking point.

  “Now you do. Beat it.” He released the guy when he heard Bluebell’s gasp beside him.

  He took a couple of deep breathes and tried to think clearly. The rage made it impossible. He wanted to destroy something. He needed a sledgehammer otherwise he’d start using his fists. He needed a distraction, something to calm him down, fast.

  “Zach?” Bluebell’s voice caught his attention and as he turned to her all the anger got caught up in a sea of other emotions he couldn’t name. “Zach, you’re scaring me. Please calm down.”

  He’d scared her. Guilt coated his insides. He’d never wanted her to see that side of him. Ever. He was still shaking, still trying to swallow it down and beat it back. He’d never wanted her to see his dark side but the guy had touched her and he hadn’t been able to think of anything but getting her away from him.

  “I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, “I’m sorry Bluebell. I’d never hurt you. Never. You have to know that.”

  “I do.” She nodded though her eyes remained big and wary, “What can I do?”

  That ache in his chest tightened. She was offering to help? She’d seen him on the edge, the brink of becoming a destructive force of nature and she wasn’t running away. She wasn’t turning on him. She was comforting him despite everything he’d done to show her he didn’t deserve her.

  “What can I do to calm you down? You look like you want to murder someone Zach.” Her eyes searched his face until he looked away.

  “I want to follow that guy outside and put my fist through his face for ever daring to touch you. I want to keep swinging until there’s nothing left but blood and bone and then I want to just keep going.” He shook his head, “I’ve never wanted to cause anyone that much harm.”

  “Zach? What can I do?”

  “Dance with me.” He knew instinctively that touching her, holding her would calm him. He just needed to hold her, know that she was okay but when he looked up quickly he saw her wariness turn to real fear.

  “I can’t.” She shook her head. “I… I want to help you but I can’t do that.”

  She knew he’d never physically harm her but the fear didn’t come from that. He knew it. He knew he’d already hurt her too deeply to deserve anything but her denial but he couldn’t leave it at that. He couldn’t walk away without at least apologizing so he did the most selfish thing he’d ever done in his life. He did the exact thing he’d just threatened to rip the biker apart for. He grabbed her before she could walk away.

  “Zach…” She gasped his name as his fingers closed around her wrist, “Please.”

  Oh hell she was going to rip him apart. If she said his name and begged him to let go he’d lose his mind. He’d go crazy. Just thinking about her saying those words to him and it not being on a breathy moan nearly destroyed him.

  “I just want to apologize. Please hear me out. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to, it’ll kill me but I won’t. I promise.” He let go of her and waited for her to turn and walk away again.

  He was holding his breath when she finally nodded, “I’m walking out to my car. You have the two minutes it’ll take to get there and then I’m leaving Zach. I’m leaving and you aren’t going to follow me okay.”

  “Deal.”

  He followed as she turned on her heel and headed for the door and he rushed after her, couldn’t let her out of his sight, wanted to be close enough to see her reaction when he said, “I never meant to hurt you Bluebell. I never wanted to hurt you.”

  She didn’t look up, in fact she kept her chin to her chest, “I know. I know you never meant for any of it to happen. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course it matters.” He
turned his hands to fists to keep from dragging her to a stop, “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the ranch. I know you must think the worst of me but it was never about the land. My brothers wanted it. They asked me to talk to you a couple of days before your dad died but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I didn’t want to lose you.”

  She stopped so fast he ran into her backside and scrambled to keep them both upright. He steadied her shoulders but her hands shoved him away in the next instant. She turned around and poked him in the chest so hard he actually stumbled backwards though it might have been from the shock of the anger shining in her bright blue eyes.

  “You didn’t want to lose me?” She hissed, “I was never yours to lose. I’m not your girl and I never was. You made that perfectly clear. You had no right to say that in there. No right.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry? You’re sorry.” She growled, “You’re sorry for the ranch. You’re sorry for hurting me. How about being sorry for breaking my heart on the worst day of my life? I lost my father and you the very same day. How about being sorry for that?”

  “I am. I’m sorry for all of it.”

  The thing he was sorrier about than anything was that she couldn’t stand his touch. He was so close all he had to do was reach out and he couldn’t because he’d promised. He couldn’t touch her because he couldn’t stand to see her flinch away from him again. He couldn’t pull her close and lose himself in her.

  She shoved him, both hands against his chest and he stepped back again. She was so mad, so angry. He didn’t want to see her look at him like that, like he was nothing. He wanted her to look at him like she used to, hated that he might never see her look at him that way again.

  “Sorry doesn’t make any of it okay.”

  “I know.” He grabbed her wrist when she tried to shove him again, “I know. Nothing is okay. I’m dying without you Blue. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything. I miss you so damn much.”

  “Zach, please…” She tried to pull her wrist away from him but she’d said the wrong thing. His name on her lips in that low throaty tone, the fact she’d followed it up with please, he couldn’t take it anymore. He lost his mind, went crazy. It didn’t matter that every sane part of his brain said she was begging him to let her go, what his body heard was simply begging and he reacted like he always did.