“Miss Cells, are you—”
I whirled around. “Don’t ask me if I’m all right.” I knew that if I heard that phrase one more time, I would do something I’d regret. Was I all right? My father and a man who was like a father to me both died—why the hell would I be all right? Did it look like I was having the time of my life?
My father was really gone. He was never coming back. Everyone was sad. Everyone was crying. Everyone except me.
Ben’s voice sounded so sad. “Your father…”
“My father is dead!” I shouted at him. My voice lacked the emotion I knew should be there, but I was numb. Numb and angry.
“Tears are a luxury we can’t afford to waste.” These were my father’s words, not mine, and the least I could do was obey them.
“Abby, I understand that you’re sad and angry, but that doesn’t mean you should—”
I fired over Ben’s voice to drown it out. When I didn’t hear him anymore, I knew he was gone. I knew he was angry with me for trying to shut myself out.
I fired another bullet, and when I pulled the trigger again and found that there were no more bullets, I threw the gun aside in anger and started kicking the ones around me. I felt like my heart was about to rip out of my chest. The only thing I could do was scream and scream until my throat couldn’t take it anymore. I sat on the ground, angry at the world, angry at everyone but myself.
“Abigail, honey, please come eat something.” My mother’s pleading voice was what made me finally get up. I walked past her and went to my room without acknowledging her. I knew I was causing her pain and making her sadder by ignoring her, but how could I ever face her after taking the love of her life away from her?
I went to the bathroom. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I couldn’t stop myself. I stared at myself as tears finally ran down my cheeks. I sank to the floor.
By the time I got the strength to get up from the bathroom floor, my eyes were bloodshot and swollen. When I closed my eyes that night, I prayed. I prayed that I would wake up and everything would be as it should be. I prayed for my mother, my friends, and my family.
Come morning, none of my prayers were answered because I woke up to nothing but sorrow. My family was still in mourning.
My father used to say, “Goodbyes are sad, but they are temporary because as hellos end with goodbyes, so will goodbyes start with hellos.”
So, I closed my eyes and whispered, “Father, until I see you again—hello and goodbye.”
TRUTH OR DARE
*Gideon*
“I won’t blame you for this.
I won’t dare judge you!
For it wasn’t your fault that
I only saw what I wanted to see.”
Melody Manful
It had been a long week, the longest week of my life. I didn’t mean to stay away from Earth, but I did. Now I was back in the place where I spent most of my existence, and I felt as though I were a stranger.
Earth had never looked or felt so different; standing near a San Franciscan cemetery didn’t even bring me joy. I felt nothing, but then again how was I supposed to feel anything when Abigail was crying right in front of me?
Abigail was standing beside her mother, and they were looking at the gravestone in front of them with tears in their eyes. I couldn’t move or even make a sound when she turned and scanned the cemetery as if looking for someone. Tristan stood invisibly beside them.
I didn’t want to be in the cemetery. I had stayed away an entire week, during which I did my best to avoid everyone, but how could I stay away when Valoel was constantly breathing down my neck? She wouldn’t leave me alone until I returned to Abigail, and it was an ultimatum I couldn’t say no to.
When D brought me home after the incident on the bridge, I refused to return to Earth. All I did was think about Abigail, and when I couldn’t get her out of my mind, all I did was attack angels. I told myself that I wasn’t in love with her. The reason I killed wasn’t just to forget her; it was also to convince myself that there wasn’t a new Gideon, that I was still the same old hateful Gideon. But nothing I did proved me right. I couldn’t believe that a single human was all it took to turn my world upside down.
After about half an hour, Mrs. Cells left in one car, leaving a limo and two guards behind for Abigail. The limo was parked beside the cemetery, not far from where Abigail stood. The bodyguards stood beside it, watching her.
Gideon, how have you been? I missed those days when I was away from Tristan and he couldn’t force his thoughts into my head.
Can’t you for once in your godforsaken life pretend you don’t exist?
Although I felt Tristan’s emotions, I only caught a fraction of the pain he was in, and even though it faded after a few seconds, I had never experienced such pain in my life. I was sure his pain would kill anymore who felt it for more than a few seconds, but Tristan looked unfazed.
So, where have you been? And there he went again acting like nothing was wrong.
Did you talk to your parents about whatever this connection with us is? I didn’t want to feel his unbearable sorrow any longer.
My father knew nothing, and my mother started crying when I told her. Why don’t you ask your father?
I can’t ask my father. We don’t ask each other personal questions. Questions weren’t the only thing my father and I didn’t ask. We didn’t talk much, and he hardly acknowledged my existence because he was scared of me.
I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to—
Why do you always pretend you’re fine, even when you hurt so much? I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from me and my messed up relationship with my father.
Because I have to, Gideon; it’s my job to be strong for everyone, and I can’t allow myself to feel weak.
I didn’t even know what the hell Tristan meant by that.
You’re allowed to feel. I don’t know how the whole nice guy thing works, but I’m pretty sure you are allowed to scream when you’re hurting like I know you are.
Really? Gideon, when the angels think of a savior, they think of me! When they need a hero, they call out to me! I have to protect our race and the humans from you! Tristan’s voice rang out in my head. I could feel his sadness and confusion—the feeling of anger was new to him.
I can’t even have a second to breathe for myself. Whenever someone around me hurts, I hurt three times as much, so yes, having the weight of the entire world on my shoulders really hurts! Suddenly, he sounded angry.
Shouting and anger wasn’t something I thought Tristan could do or feel; after all, he was normally calm, collected, nice Tristan, and it seemed I forced him to open up.
No matter how much I try, I can never help everyone. I can’t protect them all, and it kills me. But, I shouldn’t complain.
I’m sure you can take a break from being a nice guy, and you don’t have to protect everyone. I had no idea where the words I was saying were coming from or why I felt bad for Tristan. Was I sick again?
Tristan laughed. You are really starting to sound like you care.
It’s all part of the act, Tristan, so don’t be fooled by it.
“Dad,” Abigail cried. “I am so sorry. This is all my fault.” Both Tristan and I turned to Abigail, who was now kneeling beside a gravestone, crying.
“No, Abigail.” I didn’t know what came over me, but I was beside her in a flash, and to my great surprise, I was visible.
“Gideon,” she cried and whirled to face me.
Making sure her bodyguards wouldn’t see me, I created an illusion so they’d continued to see Abigail kneeling by the graves until I left.
“Are you okay?” I asked in a worried voice, staring at her curiously. I knew why she was sad. I just didn’t know why she wasn’t shouting at me for answers.
“No,” she glanced at the two graves. “They’re both gone because of me.”
“No, it’s not your fault.” I turned away from her.
“Yes,
it is, you were there…” She paused. “It was you, right?”
I nodded in agreement.
“How did you…?” She inhaled, and I realized the questions were forming in her mind.
“You should go home.” I didn’t want to tell her who I was. Valoel had said to come see her, and that was what I was doing. Now I had seen her, and she had seen me, so I needed to get away from her so that I could start longing for her. Great plan!
“You’re not going to tell me why you saved me?”
“I didn’t save you, Abigail.” Immediately her sadness was replaced by confusion.
“What are you talking about?”
I didn’t know the right way to tell her that I actually failed in an attempt to murder her.
“What are you talking about, Gideon?” she demanded.
Did I dare tell her what she wanted to hear?
THE PRESTIGE
“I’m truly ashamed, and for that
I am sorry I made myself believe
I could be more than I was meant to be.”
Melody Manful
I wasn’t afraid of what Abigail would think of me if I told her who—and what—I was.
“I didn’t save you, Abigail,” I started. “I tried to kill you.” She let go of me and took a cautious step back. I could hear her heart beat. It was so loud that I was sure she was about to collapse.
“You…you tried to kill me?” She was in shock, but her eyes said she wasn’t about to run away, at least not until she got some answers.
“Abby, I didn’t want—”
“Why?” She cut me off, putting on a brave expression even though her voice shook.
I looked away from her, afraid to hold her gaze for too long. “Because it’s what I do.” I hoped she would take that simple answer and let me go, but I knew her too well, and I knew she wouldn’t.
“What you do?” The initial shock was gone, but she still looked uncertain and surprised. “Why?”
I was surprised that she was still looking at me and asking questions. “I already told you. It’s what I do.” I didn’t understand how she wasn’t scared of me.
“But why!”
I didn’t know how to explain myself to her. Tristan, who stood behind Abigail, wore a stupid, unreadable expression on his face.
Abigail stood waiting for an answer. I took two steps back before raising my body into the air.
Abigail’s eyes opened wide, and she gasped. “You—you can fly? How?” she asked with a tone of wonder.
I gave her an apologetic look before transforming into the real me. My black hair rippled. I knew that Abigail couldn’t miss my angry face and golden eyes. Behind me, my huge, dark wings stretched wildly, and to make sure that Abigail would run away from me in fear, I composed a harsh face.
Abigail took a step back. “You’re an angel?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. Her face was filled with fear and shock, but unfortunately for me, she wasn’t running away. “But angels…angels don’t exist.”
I didn’t understand why she wasn’t scared. What was wrong with her?
“You are an angel?” She was still shaking. “But your wings are…” I waited for her to say dark, but she didn’t.
Behind her, Tristan stood with his eyes fixed on me as well, as if he hadn’t seen me before. He didn’t speak, didn’t even bother to tell me I wasn’t allowed to reveal our existence to a human, but then again, Abigail couldn’t be a human. If she were, she would have been on the first flight to Mexico in order to escape me, or on her way to some mental institute to recover from shock.
“Abby, I…” I flew down, and instantly, I was back to my disguise. She took a fearful step back.
I took a step back myself, to let her know I wasn’t there to hurt her. I felt vulnerable and sad because for a split second, I saw how scared Abigail was of me. I watched as pain clouded her face, but instead of turning away, she inched a little closer to me.
“Why save me if you wanted to kill me?” she asked in a hush voice.
I was shocked at her sudden change. She composed herself, but I didn’t know how to answer her question.
“Why?” she demanded, her voice harder.
“I don’t know,” I lied, avoiding her eyes. I didn’t want to look at her because somehow a part of me wanted to stay with her. So I kept my face down to save both of us the pain. But I could feel Abigail staring at me.
“I don’t believe this.”
I looked at her.
“Angel?” she asked as she allowed her tears to fall again, shaking her head in shock. The tears tumbled down. “What are you—who—but…” She struggled to make sense of and sort through her questions.
I couldn’t take the tears in her eyes, or Tristan’s sad face, so I decided to force her to run. I took a step closer to her. “You know, some creatures don’t care about this world of yours.” I threw in one of my evil smiles.
I was sure she would bolt at any second, so I moved a little closer to her. I didn’t even know why I bothered, when I knew I would probably be the one to push her down.
“They would rather watch the weak suffer and feed on them until their last glimmer of life dies, leaving nothing but death behind.” I continued my little speech as if I couldn’t feel her pain. “Some would rather meet you in Hell than welcome you in Heaven. And some would rather see the Earth crash and burn, and right now, I can tell you that there is only one of those creatures left, and you are looking at him.”
Abigail trembled, and it was then that her fear finally emerged. She backed away. Tristan stared at us and made no attempt to step in and save her.
“What are you?”
I couldn’t explain how she looked when she asked this. But finally I got what I wanted, for the only person in the whole bloody universe who meant more to me than the idea of living to be scared of me.
I pushed my sad thoughts aside and smiled cruelly before answering her question. “I am your guardian angel.” Abigail’s eyes grew wide. “Well, almost your guardian angel. Tristan is the real guardian, I—”
“Tristan?” she interrupted in surprise. She looked up as if to see Tristan hovering above us like I had been doing moments before. “Is Tristan an angel, too?”
“Yes, he’s your guardian angel. His job is to guide you from harm, and mine is to put you into harm’s way,” I answered without thinking.
“Kill me.” Abigail’s shock and pain sent me crashing through four gravestones behind me. She screamed my name and rushed over as I hurtled onto my back. Tristan appeared beside her. This time he wore the Tristan look—the one that was supposed to bring hope to everyone.
Why did Abigail want me to kill her?
“Gideon!” Abigail cried out when she reached me. She tried to help me up. “Are you all right?”
Was I all right? She was asking me if I was all right when I just told her I wanted to kill her?
“Don’t touch me!” I shouted at both her and Tristan, who was invisible beside her.
“Are you okay?” she asked again as if she didn’t hear me, or maybe she just didn’t care about the danger lurking in my eyes.
“He will be fine,” Tristan murmured in an angelic voice. Abigail whipped her head around, searching for the source of the voice.
“Tristan,” she called. “Is that you?”
Tristan became visible for a few seconds, making sure Abigail saw him before turning himself invisible again. Abigail looked back at me, confused.
“Gideon?” Abigail kneeled beside me. She reached out to touch me, but I was already in the sky before she could get close.
“Don’t ever tempt me again, Abby. I’m not that strong.” With that said, I flew back down. My body was burning in pain as every drop of blood beneath my skin boiled.
“Why not?” She wasn’t scared; she was angry. “It’s your job to kill me, so kill me already!” Now she was provoking me.
“Abby, don’t.” Tristan appeared beside her, taking her hands
in his. She pulled herself away.
“I don’t deserve to live!” she shouted, looking at her father’s grave. “I killed him. I don’t deserve to live, so please kill me,” she begged.
“You didn’t kill him, Abby.” Moment of truth. “I killed him.” I watched as her anger turned to confusion, then pain. “I was the one who pushed you from your balcony, the one who caused the accident on your way to the concert, and the one who distracted you and took your father away from you.”
I watched as her face contorted in anguish. I told myself it was better that she hated me than to know I tried to save her father and failed. “Abby, I didn’t…” I tried reaching out for her, but she pulled away.
“Don’t touch me!”
“I’m not here to—”
“Leave,” she whispered under her breath, looking at both Tristan and me. Neither of us made an attempt to leave. I didn’t want to leave her there alone in case she collapsed or had a heart attack. “LEAVE!” This time she shouted with her eyes fixed on me. “Leave me alone, and please don’t come back.” Then turning around, she kneeled in front of her father’s grave and let her tears fall as she grieved.
Tristan kneeled beside her with his hands on her shoulders, comforting her.
I didn’t want to leave, but I did want what was best for Abigail, and since the humans always said, “If you love something, you have to let it go and hope that it comes back to you,” I spread my wings and took to the sky.
The world tumbled away as I listened to her screams, and then a second later, loud thunder roared and shook the ground beneath. The heavens were weeping down on Earth. I couldn’t bear the pain any longer, so I tore my eyes from her and took off at full speed into the rain.
I flew all the way to a nearby tower and kneeled on top of it, burying my head in my hands as my wings stretched out behind me.
My hands were burning with fire, but the rain couldn’t quench it. I was furious at myself for hurting Abigail. Bolts of lightning lit the town and thunder resounded in the mountains. I roared along with it.
Dominion Page 16
