Undeniable Temptation (Reckless Beat Book 5)

by Eden Summers

  The words became garbled, each syllable intertwining with the next to increase the static in her head. She paused the podcast, removed the earphones and slid the cell away to wade through the mental carnage.

  “You heard?” Ryan’s voice carried from her side.

  She nodded.

  “Is it bad?”

  She continued to nod as she stared at the table. In comparison, it didn’t hold the weight of Blake’s drug addiction scandal or Mason’s leaked sex tape. It was a bitter attack. A defensive, soon-to-be ex-wife lashing out. But this time it was personal. The assault was aimed at Leah’s career. Her future. Her happiness. And Julie had successfully struck gold.

  “What did she say?” Ryan crouched beside her, his hands resting on her thigh.

  The touch shot through her, the sensation painful in its pleasure. “The day you were handed the divorce papers, you said I was the cause of your failed marriage.” She gave a derisive laugh. “I thought you were attacking me in an attempt to release your anger. But you weren’t, were you? I did ruin your marriage. I’m the reason the two of you were never happy.”

  “She said that?”

  “Yes, she did.” Leah met his gaze, those wide eyes staring back at her. “On a popular podcast that is now being distributed to god knows how many radio stations.”

  “Fucking hell.”

  “Don’t ignore the question, Ryan.” She turned to him and tried to read his expression. What was done, was done. There was still no looking back. But she needed to know if she’d been kidding herself about her superior level of professionalism. Had her feelings been obvious? Had she wordlessly convinced him to sabotage his marriage? “Am I really the reason Julie asked for a divorce?”

  “Yes.” His unreserved response stabbed through her stomach as the hand on her thigh tightened. “I fell out of love with her because I was in love with you. Because I wanted to be with you. Because I couldn’t stop imagining how great we’d be together. So yes, you are the reason for the divorce, and I’m not going to feel guilty, because she fell out of love with me years before I gave up on the marriage.”

  “But we haven’t been close since Australia. We’ve barely been friends.”

  He nodded. “And she knew that. She also knew being at odds with you had changed my mood more than any argument with her ever had.”

  A brief flicker of adoration sparked and was soon smothered by shame. There was no denying she’d crossed a line. A big, fat line her boss wouldn’t approve of. But the threat to her career wasn’t what hurt the most. It was the amassing destruction she’d caused.

  Ryan’s divorce was her fault. Even though she’d tried to hide her feelings, she’d cost him his marriage.

  “Don’t feel guilty, Leah.” His eyes turned lethal. “I welcome the divorce. I don’t want to be with her.”

  “You didn’t always feel that way. I was there when the document was handed over. I witnessed the devastation on your face.”

  “You witnessed my shock at being blindsided. And my anger at being a failure. You didn’t witness heartache over her leaving me. We stopped being in love a long time ago. We’d merely been going through the motions.”

  “Then why did you stay?” His jaw flexed, his nostrils flared, and the unmistakable loosening of his palm on her thigh told her he was contemplating a lie. “Tell me the truth.”

  “I will.” He nodded. Cringed. “I wanted a family. I wanted to be a father. And she kept promising we’d make a start. It wasn’t like I could be with you. And no other woman has ever tempted me. So I stuck around in the hopes a baby might revive the marriage.”

  “You would’ve stayed with her if it meant having children?”

  His lips parted, the brutal words poised to devastate her when Mason pulled the curtain back from the bunk area and strode forward.

  “I just got off the phone to Sid.” His hair was tangled, his face creased from sleep. “She said we have another nightmare on our hands.”

  “Yeah.” Ryan stood, forgetting their interrupted conversation. “How did she find out?”

  “She heard something on the radio and wanted to give me a heads up.”

  “Who told you?” Leah stared at Ryan.

  “My lawyer. That guy is making a mint because of Julie’s bullshit.”

  Silence descended, the weight of indecision settling between them.

  “You won’t let this affect what you’ve got going on, will you?” Mason eyed her. “The two of you are still good, right?”

  She sucked in a breath, held it, and became strengthened by her impending response. “Ye—”

  “Julie’s not going to bring us down.” Ryan tugged her to her feet. “I won’t let it happen.”

  His determination starved her shame and she went willingly into his arms. “It’s going to make things harder, though. We’ll need to lay low. I can’t take any more trips on your bus. There’ll be no more hiding in plain sight.”

  “Changing your routine will only make you look guilty.” Mason rested a hand against the back of the booth seat. “I’m not saying you should shake the bus walls every night, because frankly, that shit was traumatizing, but if you keep your distance, there’s going to be more questions to answer.”

  “I prefer questions to being caught red-handed and losing my job.”

  “Hey.” Ryan got in her face, gripping her upper arms. “Nobody is losing their job. I promise you.”

  Why did she believe him? There was no justification. No reasoning. But yet she became reassured by his words. Strengthened.

  “We’ll pull through.”

  She stared into those eyes, drowning in their warmth. Her pessimistic thoughts wanted to rebel, it was her heart that clung to his promise.

  “We’ve got this.” He kissed her forehead. “Trust me.”

  She nodded and sank against him, breathing in his scent. “I need to call Bruce back.”

  “What are you going to say?”

  “I’ll tell him the truth—Julie has been hassling your lawyers for weeks, trying to get a rise out of you. It wasn’t like we weren’t expecting the drama. We just didn’t know the shape it would come in.”

  “Or that you would be the target.” Ryan gave a sad smile.

  “Not only me. My boss’s company will take a hit because of the mark against my reputation. Julie has also undermined what you’re trying to do with Felicity. You’ll need to release a formal statement about the claims and spin it so the fans think it’s petty jealousy.”

  “I agree.” He squeezed her hand. “But I need to speak to her first. I told my lawyer I’d go to New York with the rest of you tonight and get some answers.”

  No. She stepped back, her heart, mind, and soul refusing to get on board with the thought of him going anywhere near the toxic woman. “If you’re seen, the tabloids will use it against your relationship with Felicity.”

  His shoulder hitched. “That’s a risk I’ll have to take. I can’t have her going after you.”

  “No.” She retreated another step. “We’ve spoken about this. You can’t make decisions based on your feelings for me.”

  “He’s not,” Mason interrupted. “To anyone else, this is merely about his divorce.”

  “And Julie isn’t going to leave me alone unless I see her in person.” Ryan grazed a thumb along her jaw. “So that’s what I’m going to do. We’ll talk, I’ll give her whatever she wants, and then I’ll never see her again. End of story.”

  “She doesn’t deserve a damn thing.”

  “Hear, hear,” Mason muttered. “Have I told you how much I don’t envy your woman situation? The hole you’re digging is getting bigger by the day.”

  “I can handle it.”

  Leah wasn’t so sure. Yes, his fortitude was admirable, but if it came with the price of ignorance, they were in trouble. “Don’t be quick to brush off how monumental this is. There’s a lot of fingers in this pie—Felicity, Hannah, my boss, Grander. Not to mention Blake and Gabi. One wrong move and we’re
all in trouble.”

  His lips curved, the acknowledgement gently reassuring as he cupped her cheeks in his palms. “I won’t be quick to brush it off. But you need to remember my promise that nothing is going to stop me from making this work.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ryan nestled into the jet sofa, his head against the arm rest, his legs stretched over the far end, and tugged Leah’s body tighter into his chest. She’d been lying in front of him since they fled the Kansas City runway, her quiet contemplation soothing his soul. The flight was smooth. Quiet. None of the usual post-concert adrenaline was present as his friends waited anxiously to arrive home to their loved ones. He, on the other hand, tried to mentally prepare for the showdown with Julie.

  He’d already called her, and the two-minute conversation hadn’t been what he expected. She was definitely up to something. Her bitchiness had been on hold, her answers almost apologetic when he’d grilled her about the stupidity of the podcast interview.

  “Run away with me,” he whispered, nuzzling into the silken strands of Leah’s hair.

  She glanced over her shoulder, her cheeks lifting, a tiny glimmer of a never before seen dimple. “Don’t tempt me.”

  “I’m serious.” At least he could be, depending on her answer. There was too much white noise surrounding them. If they disappeared, maybe the drama would, too. They could start over. Make a new life.

  “And give up Reckless?” She lazily blinked up at him. “You’re crazy.”

  “I’d do it for you.”

  Her smile faltered, the twinge in expression letting him know he’d be on his own if he walked away from his friends. “I’d never forgive you if you left the band. Music means the world to you.”

  “You mean more.” It was the truth. He could give it up. He could walk away from Reckless and never look back because this feeling—with her in his arms, smiling up at him—was beyond anything he’d ever experienced. He wasn’t merely happy, he was at home. This sensation wasn’t neatly packaged into a box titled—Love. It was about devotion. About strength. This thing between them consisted of unfaltering faith and reciprocated vulnerability.

  He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her more than he needed to be on stage. Music would always be there. You couldn’t stop a torrent with a stone. All he’d have to do is find another outlet.

  “And if you walked away,” she whispered, “we’d never see each other. I’d be with Reckless and you’d be somewhere else. The distance you experienced with Julie would start to settle between us. We’d drift apart.” She turned away and nestled further into his chest. “Working together is the best and the worst part of this situation.”

  “I know.” He sighed and nuzzled his face into her hair. “Are you still going to meet with your boss?”

  “No.”

  He closed his eyes and fought against frustration. “Because of Julie?”

  “It’s bad timing. My boss is now annoyed with me for casting a shadow over the company. Telling him how I feel about you, even if I did lie about us already being together, wouldn’t turn out well. It’s best to wait.”

  “How long?”

  “However long it takes. At least until your divorce is final and the tour is over.” She wiggled, turning her body around to face him, her beauty making it hard for him to form a protest. “I don’t want to rush this. I think my initial plan to speak to him was a smidge optimistic to begin with. If I hold off, it will give me more time to find the leverage I need.”

  “And you’re happy to wait?”

  “I have to be.” Her gaze raked his face, the gentle touch of her appraisal filling his chest with heavy beats. “Who knows? By then, it could be better to tell him the truth. If we can be together and not let it get between our working relationship, it might work in our favor.” She gave a sassy smile. “All you need to do is keep your protective nature in check.”

  “That won’t be a problem if Mason shuts his pie hole.”

  She chuckled, the brilliant laughter peppering his lips.

  “Did I hear my name?” the lead singer called from the other side of the cabin.

  “No,” they said in unison and shared goofy grins.

  It was as if the tension had been paused. The drama on hold. They were smiling through the impending onslaught, both content to live in the moment.

  “You know, even with all the crap going on, I’m still the happiest I’ve been in…ever.” She wove an arm around his waist, her fingers gliding under his shirt. “How can I feel this energized when my world is upside down?”

  He had no response. No words, at least. Only a kiss. He tasted her smile and fought for control when her nails dug into his skin. Every inch of him was alive for her. Especially his heart. Her hold was beyond anything he could’ve imagined. When she inched her mouth away he waited, thankful for the pause in proceedings so he could leash his dick.

  “When are you meeting with Julie and your lawyers?”

  “There’s no lawyers. I’m going to the apartment.”

  She caught her expression a second too late, allowing him a glimpse of her disapproval.

  “Don’t worry. I can handle her.”

  “You’re too sweet, Ryan.” She lowered her gaze, focusing on his beard. “She’ll manipulate you.”

  “Let her try. I’m already prepared.” He leaned down, reclaiming those sweet lips with a quick peck. “She has no hold over me anymore.”

  She whimpered, their noses brushing. “Will you call me afterward?”

  “As soon as I leave. I promise.”

  Her mouth tentatively glided back and forth, her teasing tongue adding to the delirious mix. “You’ve promised a lot.”

  “Mmm.” He nipped at her, earning a gasp. “I’ll promise you everything.”

  “And I’ll take it. I want everything you have to give, Ryan. And everything I have is yours in return.”

  He nudged his knee between her legs, parting her pants-covered thighs. “Everything?” he whispered. “How ’bout another pair of panties to add to my collection?”

  She laughed. “Everything but those. At least while we’re in the air.”

  He deepened the kiss and cupped the back of her head. Her moan slid down his throat, through his stomach, directly to his cock. Sharp nails dug into his flesh, scarring skin as she ground her pelvis against his thigh.

  “Cut it out, you two.”

  He ignored Blake and kept her head in place, unwilling to let her go. On the jet it was easy. They could shut the door to the hostess area, flick the do-not-disturb light, and act like the world didn’t exist. Professionalism would steal her away soon enough and he doubted he would get another chance to taste her until they rejoined the tour.

  “We should critique them until they stop,” Mitch suggested.

  Ryan responded by lowering his hand from her hair, down her back to cup her ass. Critique that, motherfuckers.

  “Cut them a break,” Sean added. “Let them enjoy their slice of heaven.”

  “And what about our living hell?” came from Mason. “I caught an eye-full of Ryan’s dick last night.”

  “I thought you liked dick?” Sean had a death wish. “At least the poll on Twitter says you do.”

  Leah pulled back, her bright eyes staring up at him. “If they’re trying to stop me from wanting to kiss you, they’re failing. I could stay here forever.”

  He grinned and the resounding silence meant Mason must’ve responded to Sean with a middle finger gesture. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

  This time her smile faltered, the happiness fracturing. She closed her eyes and nestled into his chest. “I’m going to catch some Zs before we land. Can I use you as a pillow?”

  He rested his chin against the top of her head and pulled her close, resigning himself to the limited time they had before arrival. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Chapter Twenty

  His apartment key slid into the lock. Why? He’d tested the fit as a joke, a little
confirmation to Julie’s bitchiness, and he’d been proven wrong. He’d assumed updating the security would’ve been a high priority on his wife’s divorce schedule. Apparently not. He turned the handle, pushed inside, and returned to the contempt of a failed marriage all with a simple step over the threshold.

  “Julie?” He kicked off his shoes and padded onto the plush carpet. “It’s me.”

  “I’m in the kitchen.”

  He continued past his retired guitars still on display in the hall, their glossy shine letting him know she’d polished them during his absence. Her care didn’t make sense. And the Betty Crocker scent of caramel and chocolate floating through the air made him nervous. His wife didn’t cook. At least, not for him.

  “You didn’t change the locks.” He walked through the kitchen doorway and acknowledged his body’s lack of response to the sight of her. There was no anger, no disappointment, no attraction. The mountain of emotions he’d once harbored over this woman was now a void.

  She turned to him, her loose dress dancing over her thighs. Her hair was different, colored to a dark brown with light highlights, the length now resting an inch above her shoulders. “I couldn’t bring myself to sever the final link between us.”

  He withheld a scoff. “After your bitter online interview, I expected you to have burned or buried all the stuff I left behind.”

  She reached for a cloth and began cleaning the flour from the counter. “It was the only way I could get your attention. You’ve blocked every attempt I’ve made to get in contact with you, and I knew, once I got the band involved, they’d send you home to deal with me.”

  “This isn’t my home anymore, Julie. If you want more from the divorce settlement, you need to take it to my lawyer.”

  “That’s not what I want.”

  “Then what is it? Why am I here?”

  She lowered her gaze and reached for the tray of freshly baked cookies. “Want one?”