In My Father's Shadow

by JL Paul

  “Yeah, he’s over it,” RJ agreed. “But he nearly cost the band everything! My dad said he was so bad, not only did he push your mother away, but he nearly pushed all the guys away, too. The record company wanted to dump the band and my dad, along with Nate and Mark, had to fight to keep it together. And the whole time, your dad was snorting lines, getting high. He didn’t care about anything but his own selfish needs. Just like now.”

  “Stop,” Ally demanded, tears streaking down her cheeks.

  “But they all stuck by your dad,” RJ said, quietly. “Stuck by him, got him help, kept the band together. Hell, they bailed him out of jail countless times. And how does your dad repay them? He dumps them as soon as a better offer comes around.”

  Ally wiped at her eyes and nervously glanced at the others. They were all watching RJ, shocked into silence. But she noticed the dawning realization in each of their eyes. “No. My dad wouldn’t do that,” she said, weakly.

  “Guess what, princess,” RJ said almost gleefully. “He just did.”

  “Do you know what bothers me the most is that they lied to us,” Cole said. “None of them told us any of this was coming down.”

  “Maybe because they didn’t know,” RJ said. He lifted a brow at Ally, daring her to dispute him. “Remember – Jay was spotted talking to Rhys alone. That’s when all the rumors of him going solo started but he wasn’t discussing a solo career, was he? He was discussing his cushy new job running Redden Records Chicago.”

  Ally tried to meet Jamie’s or Cole’s eyes but neither would look at her. “You all agree, don’t you?” She stood up and angrily scrubbed the tears from her face. “You all think my dad is that much of a jerk -the man that considered all of you his sons for all of these years? Well, screw you! He doesn’t need you and neither do I!” She yanked the door open and slammed it shut behind her.

  Stephanie sat fearfully on her bed, afraid to speak. Cole looked at her as if asking for help. “I don’t know Jay very well,” she said. “But I don’t honestly think he’s the type to do that.”

  RJ snorted and plopped back down on the vacant bed. “Yeah, well, he doesn’t have a clean track record. Besides, he’s always idolized Rhys Redden. Now he has the chance to be like him. Rhys’s band retired a few years ago and now Jay’s following in his footsteps.”

  “How come they never told us about what happened when Uncle Jay was on coke?” Jamie asked stunned.

  RJ shrugged. “Who knows? After I heard my dad talking to my mom about it, I looked the band up online and found some interesting stuff. Jay was arrested a few times for DUI and possession.”

  “I knew about that,” Cole said quietly. “My dad told me once.”

  “Yeah well there’s all kinds of stuff online about Jay. I didn’t have to look hard,” RJ told them.

  “But I don’t believe Uncle Jay would abandon everyone,” Jamie argued. “You’d think there would be a lot of tension between them and I didn’t sense any when we were home.”

  “Like I said,” RJ muttered. “Maybe they didn’t know at the time. Maybe Jay was keeping it secret.”

  “No,” Jamie said, shaking his head. “Uncle Jay isn’t that way.”

  “Dude,” RJ said, sitting up. “When he got hooked on coke, he totally abandoned your mother – his own little sister.”

  “My mother wasn’t a child back then, RJ,” Jamie said. “And there were issues…”

  “Doesn’t excuse what Jay did,” RJ said.

  “I’m gonna go try to talk to Al,” Cole said as he glanced worriedly at the door. “Try to talk some sense into her. I mean, yeah it sucks that Jay would take this job and leave the band high and dry, but it’s not Ally’s fault.”

  “Good luck,” RJ snorted.

  Cole strode across the hall, knocked twice and opened the door. Ally was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

  “Go away, Cole,” she said, not even looking at him.

  “Not going to happen, princess,” he told her. He sat at her desk and fiddled with a pencil. “Listen, about what RJ said…”

  “I don’t care what RJ said,” she told him, sitting up and pushing the hair off her cheeks. “It’s all a bunch of lies! My dad is not like that! He wouldn’t abandon his friends.”

  “I don’t think he abandoned them,” Cole said, leaning forward. “But he is taking another job and it sounds as though the rest of the guys had no clue.”

  “Have you even talked to Nate about this?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I did and he told me he’d talk to me about it when the tour ended, just like Mark told Jamie and Richie told RJ,” Cole said.

  She took a deep, shuddering breath. “If my dad wants a different job then he’s entitled to it. He’s worked hard his whole life, just like the rest of them. You guys can’t blame my father for that.”

  “Ally, no one is placing blame,” Cole tried to argue. “All we’re saying is that it sounds like Jay didn’t even talk to the rest of the band before making his decision. It looks like Jay did this behind their backs.”

  She sucked in a deep breath and hopped off the bed. She stormed to the door and opened it. “Get out of here, now! I don’t have anything to say to you or the others anymore! Got it?”

  “Fine, Al,” he said, getting to his feet. “If that’s how you want it.” He towered over her in the doorway, looking down at her in disgust. “It figures you wouldn’t want to listen to reason – you never want to hear anything bad about your dad. You live in this little world where you think he’s so perfect but news flash, Ally – he is human.” He paused to take a breath. “I always knew you were nothing but a little princess.”

  He stormed across the hall where Jamie was standing in Stephanie’s doorway. He looked up at Ally and turned away quickly, not able to meet her eyes. She slammed the door shut and locked it before flinging her body on her bed, holding back the storm of tears that threatened to totally overtake her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ally was extremely relieved to see the week pass, even though she had to face what she figured would be a grueling physical that Saturday. Still, it was better than trying to avoid the boys or see them around campus, Stephanie obviously taking her place.

  She did have a little sympathy for Jamie. He’d greet her in class and try to talk to her when he had a chance, but she figured it was only out of family loyalty. It was blatant that he was torn between his friends and his cousin. She took pity and avoided him also, not wanting him to feel as though he had to choose.

  She started taking her meals later, when she figured the boys would be done, and took to sitting with Jeana or girls from the basketball team. They’d tried to question her repeatedly but she refused to talk about it, not wanting to tell anyone that the boys she grew up with thought so lowly of her father. It hurt.

  She endured a constant barrage of questions about her father and the future of the band but she blew everyone off, telling them it was none of their business and as soon as the band made an announcement, then they’d get their answers. She’d angered and alienated the few friends she had outside of Cole, RJ, and Jamie but she didn’t care. She didn’t want or need anyone.

  She had played in Wednesday’s game, and had played well. It had been the bright spot of her week. She’d been exhilarated to be back out on the court, dribbling the ball and shooting threes. Although she had tried not to, she’d managed to catch sight of the boys in the stands and it had hurt her heart to know that they’d only been there to watch Stephanie.

  When Saturday came, she drove to Chicago on her own and spent two hours with representatives and doctors from the State Team. She’d met a few of them the previous summer at the softball camp she’d attended and knew that they desperately wanted her. But they wanted to be in medal contention and the National Tournament was a big thing. They didn’t want to waste their time on a player who wouldn’t live up to their expectations. Plus, many players for the National Team, which would compete in the International Games the summer after she
graduated, were often chosen from State Teams. There was a lot riding on her ankle.

  After she finished with the doctors, who told her they’d send her the results in about a week, she decided that since she was close, she’d spend the weekend at her house. Her parents were still gone on tour and she was grateful. She had a few decisions to make, especially after one of the doctors warned her about overworking her ankle.

  ***

  Cole made his way to Stephanie’s room Saturday evening with RJ and Jamie in tow. They’d heard about a party off campus and Cole figured it might be just the thing they needed to take their minds off of recent events. Stephanie was excited to go, eager to get off campus and relax.

  Jamie paused before Ally’s door as the others waited for Stephanie.

  “I know you guys are fighting, but I’m going to see if she wants to go. She can ride with me if you guys don’t want to speak to her, but she is my cousin,” he explained.

  Cole shrugged. RJ flashed Jamie a brief, guilty look before nodding. Jamie knocked once before Jeana opened the door.

  “Hey guys,” she greeted with a frown. “I thought you weren’t talking to Ally.”

  “I just wanted to check on her and see if she wanted to go with me to a party,” Jamie said.

  Jeana folded her arms over her chest as she stepped into the hallway, eyes narrowed. “Why? Do you guys want to break her heart again? Haven’t seen her cry enough yet? Want to totally destroy her?”

  “Relax, Jeana,” Cole said tiredly, knowing Jeana had every reason to be angry. Their treatment of Ally wasn’t something he was totally proud of but he was torn as to what to do or think. “Is she here or not?”

  “No,” Jeana said curtly. “She left early this morning. She said she would probably go home for the weekend.”

  “No one’s even there,” RJ mused. “They’re still out on tour.”

  “Maybe she wanted to get away from you guys,” Jeana stated, a smug smirk on her lips.

  “Or maybe she had that physical today,” Jamie remembered. “Damn. I forgot about that.”

  Cole cursed under his breath. “I told her I’d take her.”

  “Well, she went by herself. I offered to go with her but she told me she wanted some time alone,” Jeana informed them.

  Stephanie walked out of her room. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Cole said, grabbing her arm, guilt tearing a hole in his gut. “Let’s just go.”

  ***

  Cole sat in a corner and watched as drunken idiots make fools of themselves. Sure, he’d had a drink a time or two but he didn’t like drinking at parties - he liked to keep control of his body. He didn’t want to end up like the morons in front of him.

  The party was rather boring, there was no one he really wanted to hang with, and the music sucked. RJ and Jamie were talking to some girls and Stephanie was playing the social butterfly role.

  Jennifer Mansfeld approached him, fake, sympathetic smile on her face. “Hi, Cole. I hear you and Ally are on the outs.”

  Cole finished his soda and crushed the can in his hand. “Get away from me you jealous, cheating bitch.”

  She gasped. “Blame me all you want, but it was an accident. I never meant to hurt her. Besides, it took her down a peg or two, didn’t it?”

  Cole stood, leering angrily. “I don’t hit females but I’d gladly make an exception for you if you go near Ally again.”

  “What’s going on, Cole?” Stephanie asked as she appeared at his side, resting a hand on his arm.

  “Oh, moved on to the stepsister? How nice,” Jennifer purred.

  “Who are you?” Stephanie asked.

  “She’s the supposed teammate that pushed Ally and made her break her ankle,” Cole said, eyes shooting daggers at Jennifer.

  Stephanie took a step near Jennifer and smiled. “I’d love to slap that smirk off your face for that, but I don’t like violence. But people like you are sad. You’d think you’d support a teammate, especially one who is good and enhances your team. But no, you’re jealous that you don’t have her skill or her work ethic so you choose to hurt her to make yourself look better.”

  “You don’t know a thing about me,” Jennifer snarled.

  “I know enough about people like you,” Stephanie bit back. “Stay away from me and stay away from Ally. I’m surprised she hasn’t beat the crap out of you yet.”

  “She’s better than that,” Jamie added from behind Jennifer. Jennifer jumped and turned, finding Jamie and RJ sneering at her.

  “I’d steer clear of her if I was you,” RJ suggested. “But hey, that’s just my opinion.”

  “You guys are just pathetic,” Jennifer said before stomping away.

  “I really wish Ally would beat her up,” RJ sighed.

  “She won’t,” Cole said. “You guys ready to get out of here? This party sucks.”

  ***

  Stephanie slipped next to Cole at dinner Monday night and smiled at Jamie. “How’s your birthday been?” she asked.

  He shrugged despondently and set his fork aside as he shoved his tray. “Okay, I guess. Did you know Ally actually had my birthday present delivered?”

  “At least she didn’t forget,” Cole said, looking around for her but he knew he wouldn’t find her. She’d done an impressive job of avoiding them lately and it was starting to really bug him. None of them had heard a thing from her – not even about her physical. He wondered if she’d received bad news and was off by herself, sulking. They’d all heard that she’d lost her temper a few times with people who’d asked about her father and while they’d had their share of questions, they’d at least managed not to tick people off. Cole knew the wick of her temper was shrinking and it was only a matter of time until she blew.

  “How was practice?” Jamie asked, as he made another attempt at his meal.

  “Weird,” Stephanie said. “Did you guys know Ally quit the team?”

  “I doubt that,” Cole said, giving Stephanie a skeptical look. “The princess loves her sports.”

  “It’s true. Coach Morgan told us that Ally resigned from the team,” Stephanie said. “She wouldn’t tell us why. She said it was Ally’s decision and if she wanted us to know, she’d tell us.”

  “Like father like daughter,” RJ muttered, earning a couple of angry glares. He sighed and scrubbed his face. “Okay, uncalled for, I know. Sorry.”

  “Something’s going on and we really need to find out what,” Cole said, standing to scan the cafeteria. He spotted Jeana and crossed the room to sit beside her. “Jeana, where’s Ally?”

  She shrugged. “I saw her earlier for a few minutes in our room but she didn’t say anything except she’d be back later.”

  Cole thanked her and returned to his table, relaying what Jeana had told him.

  “She’s probably in the workout room,” Jamie said. “I’d bet money on it.”

  RJ sighed. “Let’s go.”

  “I think you three need to handle this,” Stephanie said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  ***

  They found her on the treadmill, running at a good pace, music player ear buds in her ears. Cole stormed to the machine and yanked on the ear bud cord. “Why’d you quit the basketball team?”

  She kept running. “Because.” She brushed at the sweat on her brow.

  “You don’t just quit, cuz,” Jamie said.

  Ally turned a hateful glare on RJ. “Maybe I wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps and abandon my team. You know, disloyalty and all that.”

  “Whatever,” RJ said.

  Cole gave him a dark look. “Ally, quit messing around and tell us what’s going on.”

  Her pace slowed as she started her cool down period. “I have my reasons, okay? Now will you leave me alone?”

  “Why can’t you just tell us what’s going on?” Cole asked.

  The treadmill stopped and she jumped off, grabbed a towel, and wiped her face. “Why do you care, huh? The team will do fine without me.”


  “This is not about the team, Ally,” Jamie said, grabbing her arm.

  She yanked out of his grasp and picked up her bag. “I quit because it was the thing to do.” She stalked away to the girls’ locker room.

  Cole ran after her and took her arm. “Al, we need to talk about this. I thought we were through with doing things halfway? I thought we were going to do this?”

  She met his gaze and sighed. The pain and indecision in her eyes tore at his heart. He wondered how things had soured so rapidly - again. “I can’t. As long as you doubt my father, I can’t be with you.”

  He let go of her arm and ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what I think, honestly.”

  “Well, when you figure it out, let me know.” She turned on her heel and pushed through the locker room door.

  ***

  Ally continued her avoidance and Cole’s anxiety increased. She refused to budge and he was afraid maybe they’d gone too far. Maybe the rift that had developed between her and the others might have become too wide to mend. Jamie was constantly on edge, not sure what side of the fence to be on while RJ grew more and more despondent. Stephanie became the talkative one at meals and other times, constantly trying to draw them all out and lift their spirits.

  And Cole wondered what exactly he thought of the whole situation. It killed him to see her hurting but he couldn’t lie to her for the sake of being together. He just wished she’d give him a chance to sit down and talk to her. Maybe they could figure it out together.

  As January ended and February began, Stephanie went on and on about the Winter Party being planned for Valentine’s weekend. Out of Control had agreed to play at the party, alternating sets with a DJ and practice was the only reprieve Cole had lately. He scowled as heart shaped decorations and little cupids appeared all over the school. He normally hated Valentine’s Day but it was irritating him more than usual this year. He still loved Ally and he ached for her constantly. Other girls approached him hopefully, asking him who he was taking to the Winter Party, wanting to be his date. But he turned them all away. None of them compared to Ally and he would settle for nothing less.