With a tremble running through her hands, she turned off the ignition and got out of the car, making her way on shaky legs toward the house. The breakup wasn’t going to be easy. They may not have shared a sexual past but their emotional connection ran deep. As Grace unlocked the front door, she took another deep, cleansing breath as she coaxed herself into relaxing.
When the door opened, it was convenient her gaze landed on Jacob, sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over his thick books. He lifted his head and a bright smile appeared on his lips. “Hey! You stayed late,” he said. Grace gasped, taking in his swollen eye and split lip.
She continued into the kitchen, dropping the keys on the table and took a seat beside him.
“What the hell happened to you?” she practically hissed.
“Eisav and I kind of got into it.” He shrugged sheepishly. She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek as she usually did. She never liked to hear that he and Eisav fought. She always thought the tension between them was so wrong. She wished she had had a sibling growing up. She never realized that her sisters truly were her sisters.
“And?” she asked fishing for more information.
“Nothing,” he shrugged with nonchalance when clearly it was a big deal. “How are the kids?” he asked clearly wanting to deflect her questions.
“Greta was pretty exhausted so I gave the kids a bath then put them all to bed.”
Jacob gazed at Grace, taking her in once more and allowing his stare to linger. He cleared his throat before he began to speak. “Grace…” he placed his palm on her hand, and she smiled warmly “…we need to talk. I spoke with my brother today,” he began.
Grace took a big gulp as she feared he revealed the secret. “Jacob please tell me you didn’t.”
Jacob immediately shook his head. “Of course not. I would never do that to you.” His words reassured Grace to a certain extent. She knew that if he had finished that sentence it would have been something like “but I would have told your secret just to hurt my brother.”
“Okay.” She exhaled.
“The talk we had was a long time coming … When my brother mentioned the other night that he thought I was responsible for telling on both of you the night he was banished from here, I froze. I never meant for anything bad to happen. It was never my intention to have him thrown out. I was jealous …”
Grace gasped. “Jacob.”
“I’m sorry, Grace, let me explain.” He placed a hand over hers, but she pulled it away. “I’m sorry, Grace, I messed up. I’d been living in Eisav’s shadow all my life. I was angry at his talent, jealous that you wanted him more than me. I made a bad decision. A decision that clearly cost you something very dear.”
Grace wrapped her arms protectively around her waist as goose bumps prickled up her arms. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I’ve been living with this guilt for a long time. I was young and immature and it was a horrible decision. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, because I know it will never be enough, and if we’re being honest here, we can admit that whatever we have between us is nothing more than a friendship.” Jacob sighed. “I told my brother tonight that I would break things off with you, and I do believe it’s for the best. I’ve spent my life loving the idea of you, but you haven’t reciprocated that love, so it’s time for both of us to move on. Besides, I’m sure you must hate me now after learning the truth.”
“I’m guilty too, Jacob. I haven’t been fair to you. I needed … no, I craved your love and support. You got me through some hard times …” She leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table and massaged her temples. “My head is spinning. This is so messed-up. I don’t know whether to hate you or thank you. What you did cost me so much. I understand that you could have never imagined your father … I mean my father … would attempt to shoot him, but he shoved a gun down Eisav’s throat.” Grace paused and covered her mouth with three fingers, looking at Jacob like she didn’t really know him. “You’ve done so much for me that it’s hard to hate you for what you did, but I want to hate you. The secret …” She paused. “I don’t know where Eisav is and I can’t chance him hearing the conversation, but you cost me a heck of a lot.”
“I know that now, Grace. I’ve been living with guilt all this time.” He shot up from his chair as his voice raised a number of notches. “Don’t you think I know what I cost you? It makes me sick, Grace. It does. I need you to believe me. I’m not a bad person. I was a jealous teenager that practiced poor judgment. I’m not cruel. I didn’t expect my father to react so harshly, I didn’t expect you …” He was screaming now.
Grace rose from her chair quickly. “Don’t you dare say it, not here. Please, not now.” Her voice was quiet and pleading.
He picked his hands up in the air. “I won’t. I promised you I wouldn’t. I’m not a bad guy, Grace. I tried to make things up to you. I tried to help you and be there for you as best I could given the circumstances.” He took both her hands in his and looked at her pleadingly.
Grace let out a sigh. “I have to take responsibility for my actions too. Eisav and I knew we were taking a huge risk leaving the house together at night. We knew Isaac had become crazed. I have to bear the responsibility of my mistakes too.” She took a seat back at the table. “Will you sit back down and be quiet?” she asked with a polite tone. She was now more composed than a moment earlier.
“Yes.” Jacob took a seat and let out a breath, his earlier moment of passion seemed to dissipate into a pool of regret.
“We were young. I don’t blame you. I understand. I appreciate everything that you’ve done.” She gave his hand a quick squeeze, and Jacob visibly relaxed some more. “I’m not running back to him.”
Jacob frowned. “I didn’t think you would, but I do believe he deserves the truth.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right. It isn’t easy … considering … I know I have to tell him. Maybe after the funeral.”
Jacob nodded. “You’re a strong woman. You can get through this.”
Grace smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, I needed to hear that right now. Given everything that’s happened with your mother, I would hate to think I made similar mistakes.”
“You’re a kind, compassionate woman. I know you’ll do the right thing. You’re nothing like my mother.”
Grace tilted her head to the side and leaned forward to give Jacob a hug. “Thank you.” She took off her engagement ring and placed it in the palm of his open hand.
Jacob closed his eyes for a moment. It was hard for her to say goodbye.
“This isn’t goodbye. You’re still my good friend. I understand if you need time. I just hope one day we can continue our friendship.”
Jacob’s lips curved up. Grace had a way of making him smile even through sadness. “I’ve known you for most of my life, Grace. I can’t picture my life without you in it. But it’s time we both move on. I’ve known that for a while. You have too. This situation just forced us to face that reality.” He stood up from the kitchen chair and placed a soft kiss on her head. “Bye, Grace.” He whispered before collecting his textbooks and disappearing up the stairs.
Staring at his bedroom ceiling, thinking too much about what he should have or could have done, had become a regular thing for Eisav on this visit home. Instead of wallowing in regret, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and gathered a change of clothes. A hot shower would release his tension. When he left his bedroom, he had every intention of walking straight into the bathroom. He didn’t expect Grace’s bedroom door to be slightly ajar, beckoning him to enter her room. A room that held secrets of who she was today. Secrets Eisav needed to know in order to win her back. His curiosity won the battle of wills and before he could even think of the repercussions, he took one step inside, followed by another. Probably not one of his most noble ideas. He knew she wasn’t home, so the risk of being caught was slim and well worth the information he could find.
Nothing prepared him for the sight befo
re him as he slowly entered her room and flicked on the lights. His eyes widened and his heart leapt as his eyes danced from one painting to the next. Grace had once upon a time sketched landscapes while they hung out together in the forest and pond, but at some point she’d moved to canvases and watercolors, creating artwork of epic proportions. Breathtaking views and heart-wrenching still lifes. Grace’s talent brought their forest and pond to life. As he stood with his eyes planted on the first painting, he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. In the center of the picture, a dark-haired boy with shaggy hair wearing a white shirt and cut off shorts, pointed to the sky at the breaking of dawn. It depicted the first time he took her to his forest. He had been so intent to befriend her and find out why she didn’t breathe a word. He had no idea that fateful day was his first meeting with his soul mate, the creation of such an unbreakable bond. Grace may have thought things were over between them, but Eisav knew better. He would be patient until she returned to him. Eisav took in all the splendor of the painting from the saffron and crimson sky to the lemony sun peeking over the horizon. He took in the trees and their leaves, painted to such accuracy that he felt like if he took one step forward, he would be there in their special place. He gazed at the young girl with long, auburn hair wearing a perfectly white pressed dress. A warm bubble of laughter erupted in his chest as he thought back to that day remembering how Grace didn’t return so clean. The white dress had become a nice shade of kaki brown. He couldn’t bear to tear his stare away from the painting, but the next one competed for his attention. A picture of Grace up close. A profile, with her long, wild hair flowing in the wind as she looked down to coral, magenta and salmon-colored flowers blossoming along the forest floor. She was older in this picture, a teenager. Her lips curved on the corner, eyes hooded but content. As Eisav’s world tilted sideways, he took another step toward another painting. This one clearly depicted night. The background a mix of inky sky and a million yellow stars sparkling bright, trees painted a shadowy slate, blowing in the wind. The forest looked gloomy, almost lonely, and in the center a young woman with cocoa-colored hair wore a white dress that flailed around her ankles as she danced by herself. His heart clenched as he thought of her loneliness. Did she go to the forest often on her own? Did she feel connected to him there? His questions pushed him to the next painting. It looked so similar, but in this one the girl is crouched down on the sepia-colored ground, holding herself in a ball, as everything around her looked as if it would blow away.
“What the hell are you doing in here?” Grace’s angry tone pulled Eisav from his trance on her paintings.
Eisav flinched, jumping so fast his heart almost stopped. He wasn’t expecting Grace that’s for sure. He also wasn’t expecting these paintings or the impact they had on him. Besides being painstakingly brilliant, they gutted him emotionally. “Gracie … I …” he began to mutter, trying to get his wits about him in order to figure out a good explanation for being in her room. It wasn’t happening as he felt thrown into the past through her eyes. Her pain, her longing. It only made his own hurt deepen.
“You have no right to be in here.” She took another few steps into the room and crossed her arms over her chest. Her lips pursed in anger. “This is my personal space. Keyword being personal,” she emphasized.
“I honestly didn’t mean to intrude on your privacy,” he spoke quickly. “The door was open a nudge and my curiosity got the best of me. We’ve been apart so long, I was hoping to get some answers about the woman you are today,” he answered honestly. It was the truth. He’d made her that promise and kept it all along, even when the truth hurt.
“You’re right. You have no clue who I am today. If you wanted to know, you should have asked me instead of sneaking into my room like some creeper to stare at my work,” she snapped, her voice elevated and shaky.
Eisav’s lips turned up in a slow curve. “Is that what you think? I’m a creeper.” He laughed and it came deep from his chest. “You know … I think you’re the only woman alive that would have this reaction to me being in her room.” He quipped and then immediately regretted his words when he took in the frown on her lips.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Rock Star, if my panties aren’t getting in a twist over you, but I’ve had more serious and pressing problems in my life than worrying about my next concert.” Her words came out harsh, bitter.
“Is that how you see me?” Eisav’s eyes grew hooded. “I’m not a rock star. I’m a boy that fell in love with a girl in a forest at the break of dawn.” His voice grew soft and tender as he took two steps forward and pointed to the first painting he saw when he walked in the room. The painting of a young Grace and Eisav in their forest for the first time. “And if I’m not mistaken, that girl fell in love with me …” He put his palm to his heart, feeling winded yet full of hope that she would finally come to her senses and realize that what he said was true.
Grace’s eyes turned wide and her insides began to quiver as she allowed the brunt of his words to penetrate her mind. Then something inside her switched off. She almost seemed shocked with herself that she had called him a creeper. Her eyes grew soft, shoulders slackened. She felt like each of her limbs were shouting to run into Eisav’s arms, but she fought them with every fiber of her being. Deep down she was always his. As much as she worked to deny that fact, it always rang true. Now it felt like there was a magnetic force pulling them together and it was too strong for her to resist.
Taking her silence as rejection, Eisav’s lips turned down. “I won’t let you back away from me.” He took a few steps until he was close enough to touch her. Then he grazed the pad of his thumb along her cheek. Her eyes began to swell with tears as her walls slowly chipped away. “I’m here, Gracie. I’m not walking away,” he began to say.
Grace broke her silence. “Your brother broke up with me tonight,” she replied, eyeing him with suspicion. “He said you two had a good talk and he’s backing away.” Grace’s brows furrowed together, trying to gauge Eisav’s motives, but Eisav’s features remained the same soft, caring, loving.
“I know. He saw the way we look at each other. He understood you don’t look at him the way you look at me. We both know why that is. Maybe it’s time you stop being so stubborn and realize it too.” Eisav said as the pad of his thumb continued to stroke her soft skin. Her eyes closed to revel in his touch.
“Gracie …” he called her name with a husky voice.
She nodded her head, but her eyes remained closed. “Yes …” Opening her eyes meant the dream would be shattered.
“Do I have permission to kiss you?” he asked as his thumb ran down her neck to her pulse point.
She nodded her head again and swallowed hard. She wasn’t thinking of what was or might have been. All that she knew was he was here and he was touching her. It was enough to make all rational thought blow out the window. He dipped his head but didn’t claim her lips as she anticipated. Instead, he spread slow, soft kisses along her cheek up to her earlobe. When his lips caressed her ear, he whispered, “I’ve missed you so damn much.” Then he began to suck on her ear slowly, deliberately. She was surprised by his self-restraint, remembering a time when he wouldn’t hold back, when he would just devour her whole. She appreciated his slow and soft attention. It had been a while since she had been touched this way, and it felt overwhelming but so darn good.
He took his time sucking her neck while slowly moving up to her earlobe then back down to her nape. Her head lolled around, allowing him access. Small moans escaped her lips, telling him how much she was enjoying him. She ran her fingers through his unkempt hair, remembering how silky smooth the strands felt running through her fingers. He cupped the back of her head and could feel his restraint withering away as he claimed her lips, her own resolve fading with each breath.
“Eisav,” she whispered as if it were the answers to her prayers. “I need you to really kiss me,” she said breathless.
That was all Eisav needed to hear as his lips came cras
hing down on hers. Gentleness evaporated into hard-core lust. Their tongues mingled and devoured hungrily, tasting each other as he ran his hands down her back. She scraped her fingernails through his hair with a primal hunger that surprised even her. Three years of pent-up sexual tension set free. Three years of waiting for his return bubbling to the surface. She was like a wild cat wanting to devour her prey. Eisav was just as hungry for her, feeling like king of the jungle and claiming his mate, wanting to mark her and fuck her so hard that all the land would know what they had done and all the land would know she was his.
She was goodness, love, and ecstasy wrapped in a pretty, little package. He couldn’t get enough of her. His tongue ran along the seam of her lips. He kissed the corners of her mouth. He wanted to make sure she was willing and ready for him. She was breathing heavily, holding him tight. Running her hands over his thick shoulders, down his muscular back.
He spun her around and pinned her to the wall as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He was hard like a rock as she rubbed herself against him with wanton abandon. Wearing the black dress she had on earlier gave him easy access. The only thing separating them, a drenched pair of panties and worn jeans. Feeling her heat, her moisture through the fabric, drove him mad. Lust was in control, coursing through his veins at a venomous rate, consuming him and making him consume her. He picked her up away from the wall and walked her to the bed, laying her flat on her back. As he took in her hooded eyes, the way her body lay ready for him, her chest rising and falling with each breath, he tried to be a gentleman but something primal had taken over him.
“I want to fuck you so hard now, Gracie. Is that okay? I promise I will make love to you right after,” he said with a deep rasp in his voice. He was thinking with his cock and his cock wanted inside.
Where Promises Die: A Second Chance Romance Page 19
