As Eisav sat by the dining table, he chatted with Marie and Ilana while he ate cheese and broccoli casserole. It was nothing like the gourmet food he was used to, but he was hungry. Ilana just finished telling Marie a story about Eisav’s Paris concert when his plate was sent flying out of his hand and into the air, whipping bits of casserole all over the table and floor.
Eisav was quick to his feet, swiveling around while coming face to face with Jacob. “What the fuck, Jacob?”
Jacob gripped his collar and yanked him closer to his face. His twin was clearly causing a spectacle.
Eisav shoved his brother aside, forcing him to release him.
“Outside now,” Jacob demanded. He looked hell-bent.
Greta immediately chased them down. “Would you two quit it? This is not the time,” she said with a stern voice, hoping to remind her brothers of the few guests in the house.
“Go inside, Greta … mind your own business,” Jacob muttered while Eisav followed him out the back door. Jacob strode quickly on heavy feet as he walked away from the house. Eisav followed behind, knowing his brother was out for blood and knowing he was going to give it to him.
When the brothers passed the chicken coop, they came to a stop. Jacob turned swiftly with an unbridled anger in his glare.
“You should have stayed away,” he snapped.
“Mother invited me back here,” Eisav reminded him.
“So what? You think our mother knows what’s best for Grace? She doesn’t. She never gave a fuck about her,” Jacob snarled, surprising Eisav with his use of the word fuck. He thought his brother didn’t curse. His brother was a church-going, Bible-reading, perfect son. He didn’t know that some things had changed over the years.
“And what … you know what’s good for Gracie now?” Eisav asked and he knew he was goading him, but he couldn’t help himself either. His brother had fucked him over and took his girl.
“Stop calling her that. Her name is Grace,” Jacob retorted, and with his last word he let his left hook loose and smashed Eisav in the face.
Eisav cowered momentarily as the shock of his brother hitting him that hard settled in. He straightened out and his fists came up in a protective stance.
“You’re right! To you she is Grace. I’m the only one that calls her Gracie, because she’s mine. She always has been. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it because I didn’t want to go behind your back and steal her away like someone else we both know,” Eisav answered, then he released his right fist and punched Jacob across his left cheek, skimming the edge of his eye.
The two men lunged for each other. Jacob got Eisav into a headlock. “You unworthy bastard,” he grimaced.
“That’s funny, because I’m under the impression from Mother that both of us are bastards,” Eisav quipped, his voice scratchy with the tight hold Jacob had on him. Jacob’s hold constricted with each syllable while Eisav worked to release Jacob’s grip. Jacob had spent some time on his high school wrestling team; this was a hold that worked well for him.
Eisav finally broke free.
Jacob spat on the ground and noticed his saliva was tinged red. “Don’t you have enough? Can’t you leave her alone? Fuck!”
Eisav moved forward quickly, pretending he was going to punch Jacob on the right again but surprised him with a left elbow to the face. It was a little brutal, but his brother was being an asshole.
“You fucking always got what you wanted, Eisav. You hated our family. You didn’t listen to Isaac fucking Duncan. Yet, you got all the girls you wanted. You had all the talent. You were the better-looking brother, and if that weren’t enough, you had to make Grace fall in love with you. You knew I wanted her, Eisav. I fucking told her I wanted her when she was thirteen. She should have been mine. You should have stepped aside. I’m the eldest,” Jacob snapped as if he were reciting something biblical. Eisav wondered what century he was from that he still held these old-fashioned views. It wasn’t a matter of age or rights, it all came down to love and the fact that you can’t control who you love.
Eisav’s mouth turned up. “Are you fucking kidding me, Jacob? This isn’t the Bible, and you were born five minutes before me. That doesn’t make you the eldest, and who the fuck cares?”
Jacob placed a finger at the corner of his eye and felt the warm liquid on his fingertip. His brother must have split his skin with his last shot. He moved in quickly and used his right leg to swipe Eisav off his feet. Eisav fell hard on his back.
“You’re such a fucker, Jacob. You never fucking had my back. Now you almost fucking broke it. I swear. I don’t know how we fucking shared a womb,” Eisav sneered, feeling winded while lying flat on his back. In truth, he knew his previous move was a low blow so he couldn’t blame his brother for responding in turn.
“I had your back. Your memory is short.” Jacob hovered above Eisav while Eisav braced himself for a kick. “You remember Declan York? How about Sherriff York? I’m the one who kept you out of jail that night. If I hadn’t told Father the truth, the sheriff would have never believed you. My word was gold and you know it. I could have just as easily let them take you away.”
Eisav turned to his side, breathing hard. His back was probably bruised from the impact of the fall. “Jacob, you’re forgetting that night had nothing to do with me. We were protecting Grace. That was the only reason you stood up for me because that fucker came on too strong and you hated it just as much as I did.”
“Fuck you!” Jacob kicked Eisav in the stomach just as he was about to stand. Eisav lurched forward, holding his stomach. In that moment he wanted to barrel straight into Jacob, but then he realized it would only degrade him further. Jacob was out here because he was pissed off that his fiancée loved another man. Eisav had already won. He didn’t need to stoop any lower.
Eisav rose to his feet. “No, fuck you, Jacob! You got me thrown out of this house. YOU!” Eisav pointed his finger at Jacob. “Then you stole the fucking love of my life. That makes you a fucking asshole.” Eisav’s saliva splattered on Jacob’s face as his bitter words left his mouth. His body was radiating anger and resentment. In contrast, Jacob’s demeanor had softened. Eisav was unsure of his brother’s intentions, so he stood on guard just in case it was another of Jacob’s deceiving tactics to beat him further. Truth be told, he was surprised no one followed them outside to stop them from killing each other. Maybe the whole town knew this face-off was a long time coming.
Jacob moved in, hovering close to Eisav’s face, his jaw clenched and his eyes swollen. “That’s fucking right, Eisav. I was the fucking loser asshole that did everything our father said. I studied the Bible. I did my homework,” he shouted, his voice shaking. “I listened to his fucking every word and do you know what that got me?” Jacob looked as if he were about to cry.
“What?” Eisav asked softly, straightening himself out while holding his stomach.
“NOTHING! Eisav. Isaac Duncan was a fraud. My life’s role model wasn’t my father.” Jacob pointed to himself, his pointer finger touching his heart. The place that hurt the most. “He was a fucking loser that made this family crazy.” Jacob’s voice grew softer, more pained. “As a child I wanted to please him more than anything. His approval felt good to me. I was nothing special in the looks department. I didn’t have any special talents like you.” Jacob now looked at Eisav with such sadness that it tugged at something deep inside. “I was a shadow walking behind you. Do you know what it’s like to live in a shadow? It’s hell, Eisav,” Jacob said, now a painful whisper. He took a few steps toward the bench and sat down, allowing his head to fall forward. “It’s fucking hell. Then Grace arrived.” Jacob looked up to Eisav, hoping to provide a good enough explanation for his motives. “And yeah as we all grew up, I noticed how pretty she was. I’m not fucking blind. Of course I wanted her for myself, but the handsome and talented Eisav swept in and stole her heart, not even giving me a chance.” Jacob laughed sadly while he looked his brother square in the eye.
Eisav stood
in shock, allowing his brother’s words to penetrate. None of it made sense. “Jacob, I was the black sheep of this family,” Eisav argued, scrunching his dark brows together. “You remember how many times that man put me down?” Eisav asked, wondering if he and his brother had lived through the same childhood. It hit Eisav hard how different their experiences and perspectives had been. Wasn’t that the case with everything in life?
“Yeah, the black fucking talented sheep. I really felt bad for you, Eisav,” Jacob snickered. “You did what you wanted. You enjoyed your life while I was locked away in a room because Isaac thought it was best. I had no fucking life, Eisav, and yet I was happy to do what he wanted.” Jacob began to laugh hysterically. “It was a sham, Eisav!”
Eisav took a few steps and sat beside his brother on the bench, sensing his earlier aggression had faded.
Jacob rubbed at the stubble growing at the side of his cheek. “After you left and he started taking Grace to Father Joseph, I noticed how she slowly began to fade away. I didn’t understand it at first. Then I caught on. Something was very wrong. I began to research Father Joseph and realized he had a criminal record … sexual assaults … fraud … That’s when I realized he was hurting Grace. My life blew up in my face when Isaac Duncan admitted his sins,” Jacob confessed as real tears streamed down his face. “All my life I worked hard to be accepted by a sinner. All those lonely nights studying in my room. I barely had any friends until I got to high school, and even then I wasn’t mister popular. My whole fucking life was a sham. Don’t you see?” Jacob paused, lifting his head to gaze at Eisav.
“I don’t know what to say, Jacob.” Eisav bit his lip nervously. He didn’t see this twist coming. He didn’t know his twin had been so jealous of him. He had always been taught to try to be more like Jacob. He tried but it was never in him, so he failed and he was seen as a failure. Jacob’s perspective was out in another ballpark.
“There isn’t much to say. I thought my life was finally getting better after we put Father Joseph in prison. Grace and I bonded over the ordeal, and I asked her to marry me. I was the happiest I’ve ever been …” he explained, his voice cracking with emotion. “Until you walked in the fucking door. I’m not an idiot, Eisav. I see the way she looks at you. I know she wants to respect me, but I’m no fool. I wish it were me she looked at that way. She doesn’t … I see that now. I also know that when I do marry someone, I want them to look at me the way Grace looks at you.” Jacob’s eyes softened again as he looked at his brother. His mouth also turned up into a sad smile. “No point in me holding onto that jealousy anymore. I want to set things right.”
“What are you saying?” Eisav furrowed his brows together. He still had no trust in his brother, and these recent revelations hadn’t changed that.
“I’m saying I’ll break things off with Grace. She was never really mine to begin with. And you’re right. I told Isaac you two were out in the forest that night. I was so fucking angry with both of you. I’m embarrassed to say I was overcome with jealousy. I wasn’t thinking when I told Isaac. I never truly wanted him to banish you. I would never wish that on you.” Jacob’s voice broke off and he swiped at his eyes.
It took Eisav a long moment for the gravity of his brother’s words to sink into his mind. He felt like he had a bad case of whiplash.
“I don’t know what to say,” Eisav finally murmured. Jacob was bowing out on the battle for Grace. That was the right thing to do. Maybe his brother was growing up, learning from his past mistakes, but could he forgive him? His jealousy resulted in Eisav living through three lonely years of panic and heartbreak.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Brother. I just figured it was time for the truth to come out. You need to know that Grace still has issues from the abuse Father Joseph inflicted on her. I never slept with her. That should probably console you,” Jacob said softly. Eisav sensed that Jacob knew his sins were grand, but it was clear that somewhere deep inside him he wanted a relationship with his brother.
Eisav leaned back on the bench and stared up at the sky. The sun was sitting in the middle of the sky, beating down on them. The brothers sat quietly, broken and bloody. The air between them stagnant.
“When Grace returns, I’ll break things off.” Jacob’s voice finally broke the silence.
Eisav turned his head to look at his brother. “Where is Grace?”
“She’s watching the children over at Greta’s. Dave wanted to come by to pay respects. Grace is giving him a break,” Jacob explained.
Eisav nodded and stood up, stretching his back. Jacob stood too.
“Sorry for hurting you,” he said with a sheepish grin.
Eisav returned the smile. “After everything you just confessed, I’m guessing you unleashed twenty-two years of pent-up anger on me. I think we both enjoyed it and needed it.”
Jacob shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not denying that it didn’t make me feel good.” He chuckled. “Honestly, though, I’m backing away. I deserve true love too.”
“You do, although I made a million mistakes where Gracie’s concerned. She isn’t taking me back so quickly.” Eisav kicked the dirt on the path, causing a little dust storm to erupt in front of them.
“You did fuck up,” Jacob confirmed.
Eisav’s lip quirked up on the side. “When did you start swearing? It sounds fucking weird.”
Jacob laughed. “About the time you got your ass kicked out of here and I started college. You know how it is. I got to be away from home a couple years, went to parties, screwed around. It was nice not living in your shadow, although I did follow your career a bit. It seems that I went to college and you’re still more successful than me.”
Eisav felt that competitive jab again. “Jacob, it’s not a competition. We are who we are. Both our lives will be more peaceful if you come to that realization, and quick. I’m still not over the shit you pulled on me as it is.”
“I’m sorry. I guess old habits die hard. Maybe if we’d spoken more as children we wouldn’t have ended up in this predicament. You know, we never played together. It was as if our parents had set things up to separate us,” Jacob explained.
“Probably.” Eisav shrugged. He hadn’t thought about his relationship with his brother over the years, wondering where he went so wrong that his own brother stabbed him in the back that way. “Do you know anything about our biological father?” Eisav paused and turned to Jacob. They were now standing in front of the back door to the house. He wanted to ask the question before all the guests were within earshot. The town was nosy.
“A little, yeah … lives outside of Des Moines. Has a couple of kids … girls, I think … married …”
“Are you going to go meet him or something?” Eisav asked, wondering.
Jacob shrugged his shoulders. “I’m under the impression he doesn’t know we exist and at this point of my life, I’ve had enough with one fucked-up father figure. I’m a grown man … I just don’t know that I’m looking for answers where he’s concerned.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Eisav said, shaking his head back and forth. Something inside him was telling him he didn’t feel the same. Maybe it was because his mother mentioned his father was a musician. It would be interesting to maybe meet him one day. Eisav kept those thoughts to himself as they made their way back into the house. The guests stilled and paused their conversations as the brothers, both dirty and a little bloody, entered the living room. Both brothers smiled at the guests while they assured their sisters everything was okay. Then they parted. Jacob disappeared through the kitchen while Eisav took the stairs two a time, needing the privacy of his bedroom. Eisav lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking how crazy it was that Jacob spent his life jealous of him, the black sheep of the family.
His mind then wandered to Grace. His heart grew heavy thinking of all the bad things she’d been through. None of that would have happened had he not been banished. He would have been there to protect her. Jacob wanted forgiveness, but he didn’t kno
w if he had it in him to forgive. So many bad things happened over the last three years.
Eisav also knew Grace well enough to know that the ring on her finger wasn’t the only thing keeping her away from him. He had a tough road ahead. He believed he had her heart, but winning back her trust was a different ball game.
It was already dusk when Grace pulled into the drive of the Duncan farm in Jacob’s car. She was lucky that both Jacob and Marie were generous, allowing her to borrow their cars. Given her life circumstances, she was never able to afford her own car. She let out a long sigh as she sat in the car for a moment, longer than necessary, hoping she would not bump into Eisav again tonight. She had spent the whole afternoon watching the kids and thinking of what to do with her relationship with Jacob. If she had never laid eyes on Eisav again, there was a good possibility she would have learned to love Jacob. She was definitely fond of him, but now that Eisav returned, her feelings for him were stronger than ever. Her feelings could never be buried. She tried so many times and failed. That in itself was unfair to Jacob. He simply deserved better. She hated to hurt him, especially since he had been such a good friend, but friendship would not be enough to sustain a marriage. Grace’s revelations didn’t mean she planned to fall back into bed with Eisav. On the contrary, she felt like a relationship with Eisav would never truly work. There were major trust issues involved, but the problem lay in the more fundamental responsibilities she had to deal with. She no longer saw herself a woman of the world. She lost interest in city life somewhere about the time Father Joseph began to brainwash her. Being a shell of the person she once was meant Eisav would also not love her the same. The burning flame that kept her motivated had burned out, and that spark that attracted him to her in the first place was no longer there. Besides, they were now a part of very different worlds so much so that there was no way she could envision herself leading a rock-star life.
Where Promises Die: A Second Chance Romance Page 18
