by Sharon Booth
'Of course not!' He sounded indignant when she posed the question. 'You know me better than that, surely?'
'Sorry.' She couldn't help but notice there was something different about him though. She had to stop herself from flinching as he came to stand behind her and watched her in the mirror.
'You look particularly lovely tonight,' he told her.
Beth swallowed. 'Thanks.' It wasn't like him to pay her a compliment. She couldn't remember the last time he had, come to think of it. She felt exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, and wished she wasn't wearing her night things. The thin satin of her camisole top revealed far too much to his lustful gaze. She could see the gleam in his eyes and wondered when it was he'd last looked at her that way. She couldn't remember.
She almost slapped his hand away as it slid beneath her top and rested lightly on her breast. He was her husband! How would it look if she pushed him away?
'Beautiful,' he murmured.
Beth lowered her eyes, not wanting to see the leery expression on his face as he caressed her, gently at first but then with increasing pressure.
'James, what are you —?'
He grabbed her arms suddenly, pulling her to her feet. 'Come to bed.'
Oh, God! That was the last thing she wanted.
'I love you. I need you.'
Beth frowned. Since when?
'It's been ages.' He led her to the bed and threw her onto it.
Beth pushed him away as he lowered himself onto her. 'What the hell do you think you're doing?'
He peered down at her. 'What do you think I'm doing? Have you forgotten how you do it?'
'Just about,' she said. 'You can't push me around like this. What's got into you?'
He sat up, eyeing her with a doleful expression. 'Sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong.' He reached out a hand and ran it softly up and down her arm, which only served to irritate her. She wanted to swat him away, like a fly. 'I've missed you. All through the meeting this evening, I wanted to get home to you. I kept imagining us doing this. It's been far too long, Beth.'
'I know.' She hung her head, guilt searing through her as he told her how much he loved her.
'There's been so much going on we never seem to have time for each other. I know it's my fault.' He sighed. 'I've been brooding about George for so long, feeling sad and missing him so much, I suppose it's placed a barrier between us and it shouldn't have. I'm sorry.'
Beth was ashamed. He hadn't even been able to tell her how much he was suffering because of her. The least she owed him was some affection, some show of love. She reached out a tentative hand and stroked his face. 'I know. I'm sorry, too.'
James evidently took that as his invitation to proceed. Maybe, thought Beth, as she closed her eyes to shut out the image of her husband, if she hadn't kissed Jed, she would have had the strength to turn James away. As it was, the guilt and shame were eating away at her, and she felt she owed him something, anything. Even so, as James finally rolled off her and left her in peace, Beth knew that it would never happen again. She couldn't bear it. He was her husband, but she didn't want him touching her. There was no going back now.
Chapter Twenty
It had been a busy day on the farm, with the arrival of dozens of beds and various other bits and pieces of bedroom furniture.
Eden had spent the entire day with Jed, as they lugged the items into place in the main barn, and she didn't quite know how she would have managed without him. She was hot, sweaty and worn out, and wasn't looking forward to cooking dinner.
It was with some gratitude, then, that she accepted Jed's offer to take the children into Kirkby Skimmer and buy them dinner in The Monk's Haven — a child-friendly pub in the town that was well-known for serving delicious and hearty meals that would even manage to fill Ophelia up.
'Are you serious? That would be fantastic, and the kids would love it,' she said.
'It would be my pleasure. Hey, why don't you and Eliot come with us? Emmy's off in Leeds again, so why not?'
Eden considered for all off five seconds. 'Thanks, Jed, but we'll pass.'
'But why not?'
She grinned at him. 'Because Emmy's off in Leeds again, and Adey's taking a turn in the lambing shed tonight. You see?'
Evidently, he did, because he turned a fetching shade of pink and laughed. 'Sure, I get it. Well, I can't blame you. I guess you and Eliot haven't had much privacy lately. Fair enough. I'll get the kids out of your way and make sure we linger over dessert.'
The children had, as Eden predicted, been beside themselves with excitement to head into town for a meal at a pub, and after she'd washed and changed George into something presentable and persuaded the girls to get themselves cleaned up and dressed nicely, too, they all headed off, leaving Eden to grab a quick shower before Eliot finished work. She decided not to bother cooking. For once, they would have a takeaway. She would wait until afterwards and then make her order. Who knew how long it would be before they needed food? Hopefully, Eliot would be hungrier for something else.
Hearing the door slam shut, she hurried downstairs, and peered into the kitchen, pleased to see Eliot standing by the sink washing his hands. He turned as she closed the door behind her, his smile dropping into an expression of amazement when he realised she was standing there, stark naked except for a bath towel wrapped around her, her hair soaking wet. 'What the —?'
'The children are in town with Jed,' she told him. 'They're eating out and won't be back for hours. And Emerald's in Leeds. We have the house to ourselves, and Adey's on shift with the lambing, so we can spend some time together at last.'
Eliot swallowed. 'We can?'
'We can.' She eyed him nervously, suddenly not so sure that he would be up for it. Things had been distinctly off-key lately, and they hadn't been setting the world alight in the bedroom department. Maybe he wouldn't be in the mood? Maybe he'd gone off her? Maybe —
She gasped as he grabbed her and pulled her to him. 'You're serious? We're all alone?'
She nodded, smiling up at him, as she saw the light of desire in his dark, though tired, eyes. His mouth covered hers, and she melted inside, overwhelmed with relief that he still wanted her, and burning with need for him. She'd missed him. They'd been so busy lately that she hadn't realised how much.
Without saying a word, he took her hand and led her up the stairs, halting on the landing outside the bathroom. 'I'm filthy' he told her, a wicked smile on his face. 'Look at the state of my clothes.'
'They are disgusting,' she confirmed. 'Perhaps you'd better take them off immediately.'
He obeyed, dropping them to the floor while keeping his eyes on her the whole time.
She shivered in delight as he stood naked before her. At least it was obvious that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. He moved slowly towards her and gently unwrapped the towel from around her, letting it fall around their feet. His arms went around her in its place, and he held her gently to him, kissing her neck. 'Trouble is,' he murmured, 'it weren't just my clothes that were filthy. I'm right filthy, an' all.'
'Are you?' she said, closing her eyes as his lips traced tiny kisses across her collar bone.
'Aye, and now that I've touched you, I'm afraid you're filthy, too, which means ...'
She opened her eyes and saw him watching her, and the need in him almost took her breath away. 'What does it mean?' she managed, with some difficulty.
'It means you're going to need another shower now. Maybe we should get one together. What do you think?'
'I think it's the only right thing to do,' she confirmed.
He led her gently to the shower cubicle and opened the door. She stepped inside, and he made to follow, then paused. His eyes searched hers, a look of intensity in them that made her quiver. 'I've missed you that much, Eden,' he murmured.
She smiled. 'Let's get reacquainted,' she suggested, and it was very evident that he needed no further invitation.
****
'I brought you your dinner today
, did Mickey tell you?'
Eliot half-paused in climbing out of the bed, then continued without looking round. 'No, he didn't.'
'Probably because then you'd have found out he'd eaten your sandwiches,' she said. 'Where were you?'
He flung open the wardrobe door. 'Oh, took a stray back to Garbutt's Farm.'
'Mickey never said.' She frowned. 'In the Land Rover? Why not the trailer?'
Eliot hesitated. 'Right. Must've been a different time then. That's right, I remember now. I heard Granny Allen hadn't been well, so I popped round to hers to see if she were all right.'
Eden nodded. 'Oh. And was she?'
'Aye.' He tutted. 'You know Granny Allen. Indestructible.'
Granny Allen was an old lady who lived in Beckthwaite, and was no relation to anyone in the village, despite her honorary title. She was also rather lacking in personal hygiene. Few people were brave enough to venture over her doorstep.
'But didn't you have anything to eat?'
Eliot pulled on a pair of jeans. 'I weren't hungry.'
Eden's voice was anxious. 'Are you okay?'
He spun round and smiled at her. 'Fine, my love — except that I'm bloody starving now, which I suppose serves me right. I'm ready for me tea. Can't remember the last time we had a takeaway.' He reached into the wardrobe and pulled out a clean shirt. 'I'm looking forward to it. I feel right spoilt tonight.'
'You deserve it,' Eden told him. She straightened the duvet and patted it approvingly. 'There. You'd never know that five minutes ago it looked like there'd been an earthquake in that bed.'
'Felt like one an' all.' Eliot grinned at her. 'We certainly made the earth move tonight.'
Eden dropped onto the bed. 'I was a bit worried you wouldn't be up for it,' she admitted.
Eliot hurried to her side, hooking his arm around her shoulders. 'What are you on about? Why wouldn't I be?'
She shrugged, feeling awkward. 'Things have been a bit distant between us lately, that's all. We don't seem to get much time to be together, and I was a bit worried we were drifting apart.'
He looked down at the carpet, seeming to consider his words carefully. 'Happen things have been a bit difficult lately, but that's got nothing to do with how I feel about you. You must know that?'
She bit her lip, nodding, but didn't reply.
Eliot looked stricken. 'You have to know that, my love? It's everything else — you know, the farm and money, and the pressure of getting the business up and running, and worrying about you overdoing it, and —'
'And this wedding taking over our lives?'
He shook his head. 'It's not taking over our lives. And any road, it'll be worth it.' He sighed. 'It doesn't help that we've had a houseful of Carmichaels to deal with, an' all.'
'Two of them!' She laughed. 'Although, I must admit, Emerald does feel a bit like ten people. She's quite high maintenance.'
'Cain's been here a fair bit an' all,' he pointed out, 'and then there's Jed, who seems to be everywhere I turn these days.'
'But he's so useful,' she protested. 'He helps me out with the barn, and you can't deny he's been a godsend to you, too. He certainly seems to pull his weight, and he enjoys the farming life very much. You can't complain about Jed.'
Eliot tutted. 'I can complain about anyone I like.' He rolled his eyes as she gave him one of her looks. 'All right, all right, I s'pose you're right. He's useful to have about the place, and he's a grafter, I'll give him that.' He rested his forehead against hers. 'Doesn't mean he's not in the way, though. Let's face it, they all are. I can't wait until it's just me and you again.'
'And three kids,' she reminded him.
'Or even four,' he said quietly.
Eden pulled away, staring at him. 'Four? Are you serious?'
He shrugged. 'I'm not putting any pressure on you, my love. Just that, you've not had one of your own and I wondered —'
Eden tilted her head. 'Those three kids are like my own. I hope you know that.'
'Of course I do. I'm not saying that. But — would you like a baby?'
'I suppose I would, yes. We've never really talked about it, have we? I thought, maybe you'd got enough on your plate with the three you've already got.'
'Nowt I'd like more than to give them a little brother or sister,' he assured her, smiling. 'The more the merrier. And I'd love us to have a baby together, if that's what you want, too?'
'I'd love it,' she murmured. 'In fact, I can't think of anything I'd love more.' She smiled. 'Maybe we should wait until after the wedding, though?'
'Happen you're right,' he agreed. 'Summat to look forward to, though, another bairn around the house.'
'And lots of fun making it,' she pointed out.
'Aye, there is that.' He grinned and nudged her. 'I knew you couldn't get enough of me.'
'All right, big head!'
'Can you deny it?'
She couldn't, and he knew it. Laughing, they held each other tightly, glad to be on familiar territory again. 'Fancy doubting me,' he soothed. 'You're a daft ha'porth.'
'I suppose I'm a bit insecure,' she admitted, feeling stupid.
'Insecure? What in God's name have you got to be insecure about? It's me that's punching above my weight, as Mickey and Adey remind me every day!'
She nudged him. 'As if! And I mean, since I told you about — well, you know. Me and Ryan. I've worried you think less of me.'
Eliot gave a big sigh. 'Eden, love, I've told you, it makes no odds to me. Look, you were young, and you made a mistake. You're not the first woman to be taken in by a married man, and you were nowt but a bit of a lass. I don't even think about it, and neither should you. All that matters is me and you and our future together. Right?'
She blinked away her tears and smiled. 'Right.'
He patted her knee. 'Good. Now, if that takeaway dun't arrive in the next five minutes I'm going to ring up and complain. A man could fade away and die of starvation. I must have burned off three thousand calories in the last hour.'
'Oh, there he goes again,' Eden laughed. 'Showing off. You really are —'
She broke off as the front door slammed. They stared at each other, dismayed. 'Peace is over,' Eliot whispered. 'Happen that's the kids back.'
A voice called from the bottom of the stairs. 'Anyone home?'
Eden groaned. 'Oh, God, it's Emerald. Brilliant. So much for our evening alone.'
Eliot put his hands on her shoulders and eyed her fiercely. 'We might have to share a takeaway with her, but the most important thing is, we got the chance to be together at last — properly together. We must do this more often, Eden. Whatever it takes. Our relationship has to come first. Forget all this rubbish going on around us, okay? We have to make time for us.'
She nodded. 'Absolutely. I love you, Eliot.'
'Oh, lass. I wish you knew how much I love you,' he told her, stroking her hair.
'Yoohoo!'
'We'd better go downstairs,' Eden said with a heavy sigh. 'But I'll tell you now, she's not sharing my onion bhaji. Not for anything.'
Chapter Twenty-One
'You're sure you don't mind doing another shift?' Eden handed Jed a mug of tea and eyed him sternly. 'You've been working flat out all day in the barns and I'm getting worried about you. We'll be charged with slave labour at this rate.'
Jed laughed. 'Honest, I'm fine. Let's face it, Eliot's beat.' He nodded over to where Eliot was slumped, asleep, in the armchair, oblivious to the sound of the television, or the argument Libby and Ophelia were having over which programme to watch.
Eden's expression softened as she watched her sleeping fiancé. 'Look at the state of him,' she murmured. 'He hasn't even had his tea yet.'
Jed smiled. 'He looks like he's got some god-awful disease,' he said. 'Either that or he's a heavy smoker on an industrial scale.'
Eden laughed as she followed his gaze to Eliot's hands, which were stained yellow from the iodine he used to treat the newborn lambs' navels as a precaution against infection — always a risk with
indoor births.
Not only was Eliot having to deal with all the usual farm work, but he had the additional tasks of feeding and watering the sheep in the lambing barn, cleaning out the pens, as well as overseeing the birthing process. He was out at five-thirty each morning, taking feed and bales of hay to his outdoor ewes, and to check for any new lambs that had been born in the night. Last thing, before he went to bed, he would patrol the fields again, checking things were all right, scouring the flock for more lambs. Eden often joked he was like a midwife on call, since everywhere he went he carried his delivery kit of antiseptic spray, antibiotics, supplements, feeding tubes, bottles and syringes. Life seemed to be about sheep and lambs, and precious little else.
The farming life could be very harsh, and Eden had developed a strong stomach, accepting as necessary the skinning of a dead lamb in order that its fleece could be placed over a live orphaned lamb, with the hope that the dead one's mother would be fooled into thinking her baby was still alive and allow him to feed from her. Often, it worked, but not always.
But there were compensations. When the mothers accepted the lambs, for one, and when life returned to a little creature that seemed beyond hope — such as that very morning when Eden had watched, amazed, as Libby revived a lamb she'd been convinced had no chance. It was completely still and silent, lying on the floor of the pen, and Eden had given up hope. Eliot and Libby, however, had other ideas.
'Go on, love. Do what you can,' Eliot had said, nodding at his eldest daughter, with complete confidence.
Libby had rubbed the lamb roughly with straw, then she'd cupped her hands and blown gently into its mouth. When the little creature took its first breath, father and daughter had exchanged looks of such pride that Eden had found tears running down her cheeks. The lamb was one of triplets, and while the other two had seemed big and healthy, this one was delicate.
Libby had taken it into the house, and even Emerald had been moved by its story. George had named the little lamb Tiggy, and she was currently lying in a basket in front of the fire, her tiny body swathed in blankets. Eden and the children took it in turns to feed her with some of her mother's colostrum, using a syringe, and Eden had been amazed when Emerald had hesitantly offered to take turns. Maybe there was hope for the woman, after all.
