All In

by Amy DeMeritt

  “Yes, Sir, thank you for your support. So, are you going to Hawaii?”

  “My best lieutenant just got taken out of the game again, so I had to pass it off to someone else.” She looks at him confused. “I gave it to Marge. She and George are on the flight as we speak. She sends her regards.”

  Ashton smiles and nods in approval. “Perfect. She deserves a good vacation.”

  “I’m going to let you rest now. Let me know if you need anything at all.”

  “Thanks.” After he leaves, Ashton tilts her head to look at Gloria and squeezes her hand. “Can you do me a favor?”

  “Anything, honey.”

  “I was supposed to go see Skylar perform tonight. Can you let her know I’m not going to make it?”

  “Your plans were with Skylar?”

  They look over to see Erin standing at the foot of her bed. Ashton takes a deep breath and opens her empty hand to Erin, who quickly walks over and clasps it in both of hers.

  “She asked me to come see her perform. She doesn’t know we broke up. I wasn’t even sure I was going to tell her tonight. I mean, I’m still trying to wrap my own head around what happened.”

  “You don’t have to explain yourself to her, Ashton. She doesn’t have any say in who you spend your time with. You dumped her, Erin. You. Dumped. Her. Stop acting like you’re the wounded one.”

  Erin glares at Gloria, and snaps, “I know it was my choice, but I am still hurting.”

  “You are a real…”

  “Please, no fighting.” They look down at Ashton, whose eyes are slightly closed from exhaustion. “I’m too tired for anymore.”

  “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Gloria bends down to give her a soft kiss on her lips and caresses her cheek and through her short hair. “I love you.”

  With her eyes closed and with a weak hushed voice, Ashton says, “I love you too. Forever.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Ashton’s eyes flutter open and she groans in pain as she tries to sit up. Skylar places a hand on her shoulder as she stands up, saying, “Hey, shh, you shouldn’t try to sit up.”

  She lays back and takes a couple of painful breaths. She smacks her dry lips and licks them, but her mouth is as dry as a desert. “My mouth is dry.”

  “Here.” Skylar offers her the straw of a foam cup of ice water the nurse left for her a couple of hours ago. “Drink.”

  It’s difficult to swallow because of how dry her throat is, but the water is the relief she needs. She takes several sips from the straw while Skylar holds the cup for her, then lays back in exhaustion.

  After setting the cup down, Skylar caresses Ashton’s cheek, and asks, “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I fell through a floor into a raging inferno.”

  “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

  “Where’s Gloria?”

  “I’m right here, baby.” Gloria walks over to her other side and bends down to kiss her lips. “I never left.”

  “Hey. What day is it? How long have I been out?”

  “It’s still the same day, honey. It’s four. You’ve only been asleep for a few hours.”

  “What did you do with Erin?”

  “What did I do with her? You make it sound like I’m capable of knocking her off or something.” Ashton quirks her eyebrow at her and Gloria grins as she bends down to kiss her. “I didn’t knock her off, but I did ask her to leave. I told her she can come back tomorrow to visit.”

  “I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business, but why isn’t Erin here?”

  Ashton tilts her head back to look at Skylar and takes a deep breath, then winces in pain from the expansion of her lungs pushing against her broken ribs.

  “Erin dumped me last night.”

  “What? Why?”

  “This is why – my job.”

  “But this hadn’t even happened yet. I don’t understand why she would…”

  “Erin can’t get over her fear of me dying in a fire or from my injuries from the job. She doesn’t want to be made a widow and left alone to raise our kids. I told you before - no one wants to give themselves so completely to a person they have such a high probability of losing. It really doesn’t matter how much she loves me – the risks of my job outweigh her love for me.”

  “Ash, I’m so sorry.” Skylar’s eyes tear up as she bends down to hug Ashton. She kisses her cheek and runs a hand over her head. “I’m sorry all of this is happening to you. You deserve so much more and so much better from life. You’re such an amazing person. You’re so kind and selfless. I don’t agree with you though – there are people who would love to be with you. You give people hope and give life meaning.”

  She closes her eyes and winces in pain as she shifts her hips to straighten up against the slightly inclined hospital bed. As she opens her eyes, she shakes her head and counters Skylar, “I’m forty, going on forty-one. I’ve had more relationships end for this same damn reason than you can count on your fingers. Some of us get lucky and find someone willing to share this unpredictable stressful life with, but I don’t seem to be one of them. But hey, I’ve got a cat, so I’m good.” She releases a small non-humorous laugh and shakes her head again. “Forget about it. It’s nothing I need anyone feeling sorry for me about.” She takes a deep breath and winces again. “Speaking of my cat,” she looks at Gloria, “can you look in on Ember for me till I get out of here? You know, feed her, spend some time with her, and as much as you think it’s gross, take care of her litter box.”

  “Of course, honey. I’ll even try to sneak her in to visit you tomorrow.”

  “That would be great. I need to go to the bathroom.”

  “Okay, I’ll help you. Skylar, can you give us some privacy?”

  “Yeah, sure, but if you need me, I don’t mind helping.”

  After Skylar leaves and closes the door behind herself, Gloria pulls Ashton’s blankets and sheet down.

  “Have you seen my stomach?”

  “I looked while you were sleeping. You have a bandage on, but once that comes off, the scar will only be a few inches long, and it sits about here.” She shows her the location on her own abdomen close to her ribs. “Your sexy abs will still be sexy.”

  “Not that it actually does me any good to be considered sexy anyway.” She pushes the button on the side of the handrails to lift the head of the bed into a sitting position. “So, you going to say it now?”

  “Say what?”

  “I told you so.”

  “No, I’m not going to say it at all. I really wanted it to work this time. I really want you to find someone who wants to have the full package with you.”

  “Yeah, well, I think I’m done trying. I mean, come on, who am I kidding? I’m almost forty-one. Even if I do meet someone and we have a kid in the next few years, I’m going to be in my sixties when they’re eighteen. I’ll die of old age before my own kid starts having kids or before they even get married. I’m not going to get the full package. I’m too old to accomplish that.” She groans in pain as she lowers the handrail and swings her legs off of the bed. “No one wants to make a life with this. This is no life for anyone.”

  “You done now?” Gloria stands next to the bed with her arms crossed looking very impatient. “You have one-minute left to get all of the bullshit martyr talk out of your system, then you’re going to move on and look to the future – the full package future that you know damn well you deserve and you will have.”

  “Whatever you say, babe.” She stands up and Gloria wraps an arm around her waist and grabs her IV stand with her other hand to bring with them. “You know, I was standing in that room after I knocked out that window to get the crew’s attention, and I thought that was it. I thought it was my time.” She stops walking and places a hand on the doorframe as Gloria turns the bathroom light on. “And you know what? I wasn’t scared. I was content to go right then and there.”

  “Don’t talk like that. You are never allowed to be content to d
ie. Do you hear me, Ashton Maria Hyland? I need you in my life. Don’t you ever stop fighting to get out, no matter how dire the situation. You fight your ass off – just like you did when you saved Skylar. There is always another way out. You have to always see your life as being just as important as the lives you save.”

  Ashton exhales hard as she leans into Gloria and gives her a hug. “I’m sorry, babe. I wasn’t exactly done fighting. I knew if they didn’t show up at that window, I was going to have to figure something out. But I knew my chances were very slim if I couldn’t get out of that window.”

  “Promise me you’ll never stop moving till you just can’t move at all. You have to promise me you’ll always push for another inch.”

  “I promise.”

  After giving Ashton a kiss on the lips, she helps her use the bathroom, then holds her hips while she washes her hands. Getting back into bed is a bit more painful and difficult than getting out was, requiring a bit more assistance from Gloria and the use of the inclining bed to support Ashton’s weight. Once she’s settled, Gloria pulls the covers up to her chest.

  “Are you ready to try to eat?”

  “Sure.” She takes Gloria’s hand in both of hers and firmly kisses the top of it for several moments. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what, honey?”

  “For the fights we had when I was trying to give Erin what she wanted.”

  “Ash, please don’t apologize for trying to make your relationship work. I understand why you were trying to give Erin more power.”

  “But you knew it wouldn’t work. You knew we would break up again.”

  “That doesn’t matter.”

  “Yes, it does. You’re always right about everything.” She winces as she shifts. “I think I’m done making my own decisions. You should just tell me what to do with my life.”

  Gloria releases a small laugh as she bends down to kiss Ashton on the lips and forehead. “Now, what fun would that be? You know I enjoy our battles way too much to just take full control of you, honey.”

  Ashton laughs and nods. She takes a deep breath, causing pain in her ribs. “We didn’t even make it a month this time. Can you believe she actually forgot I was taking her on a surprise vacation tonight? God, I really thought she was the one. I tried so hard to be the perfect girlfriend.” She rubs a hand over her face. “She seemed so happy with me. I swear, I didn’t see this coming. Come on, babe, be honest with me. Do you really believe I can have the full package? Do you really believe there is a woman out there who will put up with all of this?”

  “Yes, I do. You are the most important person in my life, Ashton. We are as close as lovers would be and probably closer than most. Your job hasn’t scared me off.”

  “That’s not even the same thing. If I die, you’re not losing a lover or wife. You’re just losing a friend. You can replace me easier than a lover.”

  With a raised quivering tone, Gloria scolds her. “Ashton Maria Hyland, don’t you ever imply that you are replaceable ever again. No one will ever be able to take your place in my life. Even when I get married and have a wife or husband, they will still not measure up to what I have with you.”

  “You know we’re a couple of idiots, don’t you? You and I are meant to be together, but we fight it.” She lays her head back, looking up at the ceiling. “That’s why no woman will stick with me for the long haul. Gloria Sanchez, you drive me crazy.”

  “I love you too, baby.” Ashton smiles and tilts her head to look at her. “Soulmates aren’t always meant to be lovers. Do you really want to be lovers?”

  “Hey, I think we’d be great together. But what do I know? Everything I think is right or will work out just falls apart. The only time I have perfect or near perfect judgment is when I’m out there being a firefighter. I screw up everything else.”

  “You stop that right this second. You did not screw this up. You were a perfect girlfriend. Erin screwed this up.” She looks towards the closed door, then looks at Ashton and takes a deep breath. “I have a hunch about something and I know you’re going to think I’m crazy or you’ll try to fight it because it would hurt Erin. But I don’t want you to fight it.”

  “Fight what?”

  “I think Skylar is falling for you.”

  Ashton rolls her eyes as she lays back and shakes her head. “Not you too. Look, that’s highly unlikely. But even if she is, you already told me to be careful of her being stalker material. Why are you changing your tune? You just want to get back at Erin or something?”

  “This has nothing to do with Erin. I’ve been able to hang out with Skylar and watch her with you. She doesn’t see you as a novelty. She has honest to goodness feelings for you. And I mean you – all of you, not just the fact that you saved her life.”

  “Babe, she’s half my age.”

  “The age doesn’t matter. What matters is if you enjoy each other’s company, you’re attracted to each other, and can have a good conversation. All of which, both of you can answer with a strong yes, yes, and yes. Let it develop and maybe she’ll be screaming that in your bed sooner rather than later.”

  “I can’t believe you just said that. You drive me crazy.”

  “Who did you just say only a few moments ago is always right and should make all of your life decisions?”

  Ashton groans as she runs a hand over her face. “You.”

  “That’s right. Just let it happen naturally. If it doesn’t happen, then I will gladly say I was wrong.”

  “I can’t believe you’re trying to set me up the day after I was dumped and while I’m lying in a hospital bed with a busted body.”

  “Even with a busted body, you’re a better catch than ninety-percent of the world, honey.”

  “Who is this other ten-percent who’s better than me and how do I blow them out of the water so no one is better?”

  With a grin and with their lips touching, Gloria coos, “When you’re all healed up, there won’t a single person more attractive as a protentional mate.”

  “Now you’re just blowing smoke up my ass. But I love you anyway.”

  Gloria giggles against her lips and gives her a firm kiss. “I love you too, honey. I’m going to get Skylar so we can discuss what we’re going to have for dinner. There’s no way I’m allowing you to eat the dreadful hospital food.”

  “You’re too good to me, babe.”

  Gloria winks with a loving smile as she steps away from the bed and walks to the door.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Hearing a scream of pain, Erin quickly opens the door and rushes to Ashton’s side. She grabs her hips, and eases her onto the hospital bed.

  “Are you okay? What are you trying to do?”

  “I’m naked. What do you think I’m trying to do?”

  “Right, sorry. Let me help you.” She grabs the pajama pants off of the bed and bends down to slip them over Ashton’s feet. When she reaches midthigh, she takes Ashton’s arms and places her hands on her shoulders. “Hold on to me and stand.”

  Ashton stands, then Erin pulls her pants up over her ass and around her waist. As she looks up and her eyes lock with Ashton’s, she feels a flutter in her stomach and a tug in her heart. She slides her hands around to Ashton’s lower back and takes a step closer, nearly bringing their torsos together.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Holding you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I love you and I miss you. I miss us.” Ashton exhales hard through her nose as she leans in and kisses Erin’s forehead. “Do you miss me, Ash?”

  “Come on, don’t do this to me, Erin. You know I do. I was ready to lay roots with you. I was ready to marry you and make babies with you. We talked about our honeymoon. God, I even planned a honeymoon type vacation for us to prove to you how much I wanted this and you fucking forgot about it.”

  “I only forgot for like a minute. I was already packed. I knew we were going on vacation. Ash, I don’t want to lose what we have.”

  �
�What exactly do we have, if we don’t have a future together? Do you just want to fuck and hang out?”

  “I want us to stay close, like we have been. And if that means we sleep together and go on dates, then…”

  “No, that’s not happening. This was supposed to be the real thing. You can’t promise me the future then back pedal and ask me to just be your bridge. I’m not looking to be anyone’s fucking bridge. I want to be your homeland, Erin. We can be friends, but I’m done being jerked around.”

  “So, you never want to sleep together again?” Her lips brush against Ashton’s, and while looking into her eyes, she asks, “Is that really what you want?”

  As she’s about to push her tongue forward, the door opens and both of them snap their heads around to see Skylar walking in with a large bouquet of flowers in one hand, a brown paper bag in the other, and bookbag on her back.

  “Oh, uh, sorry.” She hesitates, looking very confused and upset. “Should I come back another time?”

  “No.” Ashton gently pushes Erin back as she shakes her head. “You can come in. Erin was just leaving.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Erin crosses her arms over her chest as she looks at Ashton like she just slapped her across the face.

  At a whisper, Ashton pleads, “Please, I can’t do this right now.”

  “Okay, I’ll go.” She places her hands on the sides of Ashton’s face and kisses her lips. “Can we talk later?”

  “Yeah, later.”

  “Thanks. Just text or call if you need anything at all.”

  “Okay. Drive carefully.”

  She nods as she gives her another kiss on the lips then quickly leaves without even looking at Skylar, who is standing just inside the room next to the door. After the door clicks closed behind Erin, Skylar walks forward and sets the vase of flowers down on Ashton’s side table. Ashton sits down on the side of the bed rubbing a hand over her face and takes several deep painful breaths.