All In

by Amy DeMeritt

Erin’s eyes narrow as her jaw twitches. She looks over her shoulder towards the burn unit, then takes a step closer to Skylar. “Was it a date?”

  “Yes, our first.”

  “Why are you screwing with her like this? You know she wants to get married and have kids. She’s not looking for someone to just have fun with.”

  Skylar licks her lips in agitation as she takes a deep breath through her nose and crosses her arms over her chest with Ashton’s blazer neatly folded over her arms. “I know exactly what she wants and needs and I plan to be the one who can give it to her. Happily. Ever. After.”

  “So, you were trying to weasel your way into her bed when we were still together.”

  “You can try to blame me all you want, but you and I both know I’m not the reason you broke up. I didn’t do anything to spoil your relationship. It’s not my fault or Ashton’s fault that you’re afraid of commitment.”

  “I am not afraid of commitment.”

  “Right. Okay.”

  “What the hell do you know about commitment, anyway? You’re barely an adult. You’ve probably never even had a serious relationship.”

  “I don’t need to kiss a bunch of toads or have my heart broken to pieces a bunch of times to know who Ashton is and to know just how good life is with her. I also don’t need to justify myself to you.”

  “No, you don’t.” Skylar turns to see Gloria turning the corner behind them. She places a hand on Skylar’s shoulder with an approving, affectionate smile. “You look stunning, sweetie.” She looks at Erin with slightly narrowed eyes. “Erin. Where is Ashton?”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I sent her a text when Ashton was on the phone with you. I knew she would want and need Gloria here.” Skylar points towards the burn unit. “She went in there.”

  “Okay, stay here. You really don’t want to see this, sweetie. I’ll be back soon.”

  Gloria walks past Erin with a fleeting glare, then disappears into the burn unit. Erin shakes her head with a small laugh and moves to lean against the wall.

  “That was a dumb move. If you really want to be Ashton’s number one girl, you don’t call Gloria fucking Sanchez to come comfort her. You do it yourself and try to keep her away from Gloria.”

  “I’m not threatened by Gloria or her friendship with Ash. As long as they’re not having sex, I don’t have a problem with how close they are. Ashton doesn’t have any family – Gloria is her family. Pushing her away is only going to hurt Ashton and I never want to hurt her.”

  “Yeah, try to say that after Gloria walks in on you having sex and tells you to wrap it up because she wants to go out. Or when she shows up in the morning and climbs into the bed to snuggle with Ashton – oh, and you’re both naked. Gloria doesn’t like when Ashton is getting close to another woman and she does whatever she can to make it awkward as fuck so you’ll walk away from the relationship.”

  Unfazed, Skylar asks, “Did you ever think that maybe Gloria did those things because you didn’t show her the respect that she feels she deserves?”

  Erin stands up straighter and her eyes narrow. “Did she tell you that?”

  “No, it’s just a theory based off of what I’ve observed. And I could be completely wrong.”

  “I’m sure you are. I hope you can handle another woman spooning your girlfriend or spying on you while you’re having sex.”

  “I’m not worried, but thanks for your concern.”

  Erin releases a snorting scoff and looks away from Skylar shaking her head in frustration and disbelief. “I knew you were going to do this.” She looks at Skylar with her lips pinched in anger. “I’m not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to poison her against me.”

  “I don’t need to try to poison your friendship – you’ll do that all by yourself if you can’t support Ashton and what she wants. And if you’re still confused on the matter – she wants to be with me.”

  The storm of emotions whirling in her brain has her stomach in knots. She’s angry at herself for letting Ashton go and angry at Ashton for getting into a relationship with Skylar after she basically asked her not to.

  Skylar suddenly takes a few steps away and Erin looks up to see Ashton walking out of the burn unit with Gloria’s arm wrapped around her and holding her hand. Her heart aches from the pitiful sight of Ashton crying and stumbling on weak knees.

  “Ash, how is he?”

  Ashton crumbles into Skylar’s arms, wrapping her arms tightly around her and laying her head on Skylar’s shoulder. Skylar lightly rubs her back and the back of her neck and head.

  Since Ashton is too emotional to answer, Gloria does. “He’s in really bad shape. They have him sedated to give him a break from the pain. The doctors don’t know if he’s strong enough to make it through the night. But if he can get through the next twenty-four-hours, he should live. If he survives, he’ll have a very long, painful road to recovery.”

  “Oh, Ash, I’m so sorry. What can I do?”

  Ashton shakes her head against Skylar’s shoulder, then slowly lifts her head and wipes at her eyes. She clears her throat and swallows the lump of emotion choking her. “I have to stay here with him. I need to see him through this, whatever happens. I asked Gloria if she can take you home. I’m sorry, I just…”

  “No, Ash, stop. Don’t apologize. I’m not leaving. If you’re staying, I’m staying with you. I’ll just call my parents to explain what’s going on so they don’t wait up for me.”

  “You don’t have to do…”

  “Yes, I do. You said I have all of you, you’re all in. This is a part of you, your life. I’m not just here for fancy dinners and listening to vinyl records together. I’m here for all of it.”

  With renewed tears filling her eyes, she bends down and fully kisses Skylar. She glides a hand over the side of her smooth slender neck and palms up through her silky hair to cup the back of her head, while her other arm wraps around her slim waist, holding her body flush and tight against hers. Skylar releases a humming sigh as she melts into Ashton, gripping her uninjured shoulder and the back of her head.

  The kiss is warm, soft, and comforting. The kiss speaks the words both of them need to hear – that they’re committed to seeing this relationship through. Both of them want to be together for all of the right reasons. As Ashton pulls away from the kiss, she gives her a few light kisses on her lips and forehead.

  “Can I get you anything? Do you want some water or coffee?”

  Before Ashton can answer, Juan Perez comes out of the burn unit wiping his eyes. He clears his throat and nods towards the doorway. “They started to debride the burns. We won’t be allowed in there till they’re done so they can keep the room as sterile as possible.”

  “Has anyone called his parents?”

  “They’re on their way. They live a few hours away, so it’s going to be late when they get here.”

  As Ashton is taking a deep breath to bring her emotions under control, her eyes lock with Erin’s, who quickly turns her scowl into a look of sympathy and regret. Ashton catches the shift in her expression, but she doesn’t have the patience to deal with it right now.

  “Have you received a status update on the fire?”

  “No.” Erin shakes her head. “I’ll call now.”

  She starts to walk towards the waiting room, and since they can’t just stand in the hallway all night, the rest of them follow her.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The fear of Eric Fields dying feels like a massive boa constrictor slowly coiling itself around Ashton from head to toe, turning her body into one giant ache of helplessness. Her breaths are shallow and painful. Her eyes still burn from the tears she has shed. Her neck and shoulders feel like a child has taken the strong sinuous muscles and twisted, braided, and knotted them like locks of hair.

  As she takes a sip of hot coffee to try to melt the tension in her throat and chest, she grips her neck and shoulder to massage away the knots, but Skylar glides her hand over her neck and
takes over the task. She looks over at Skylar with a small smile of affection and leans over to give her a soft kiss on her lips.

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  As she’s looking forward again, Ashton bolts out of her seat and crosses the waiting area to the reception area in five long strides to meet Lieutenant Decker and Captain Hunt.

  Hunt takes a step between them, and quickly asks, “How is Fields?”

  Ashton glares over his shoulder at Decker – who, in her opinion looks as guilty as a kid with cake on his face after being told he couldn’t have cake.

  “He is in critical condition with very little hope of him making it through the night. I want to know what happened on that site. I want to know, in graphic detail, what the situation was and what orders were given. Now.”

  Ashton’s eyes dart to the side for a moment as she sees Skylar’s parents walk out from behind Decker to get around their small group. Her father is carrying a bookbag. But she doesn’t have time to figure out why they’re here. She looks back at Decker and he tenses his jaw and it shifts side to side while his eyes dart everywhere but Ashton’s eyes.

  Captain Hunt takes one step to the side, and with a firm voice, demands, “Answer the questions, Lieutenant Decker.”

  “I don’t see why I have to explain myself to another lieutenant. I don’t report to you, Hyland.”

  “That is my guy in there! This is my crew, my family. You will explain to me why one of my guys, my brother might die tonight.”

  “Or what?”

  Captain Hunt squares off with Decker, barking, “I gave you an order. You will explain to both of us exactly what happened tonight or you will be suspended and placed on review for possible termination. Do I make myself clear?”

  His jaw shifts side to side as he grates his teeth and his cheek twitches as he jerkily nods once. “We got a call for a house fire in a basement. Just a standard alarm. We had two trucks with eleven people total. When we arrived, the fire had spread to the first floor, but all occupants had made it out of the house by the time we got there. I had four hoses tamping the fire down on the first floor. Once a path was cleared, I sent Perez and Fields in to assess the fire risk to the oil tank in the basement. Perez lead, but he turned back saying the floor was too unstable. He claimed parts of the floor had already collapsed and he refused to go back inside. I needed to know if that oil tank was going to blow. I ordered them forward. They disobeyed and went around the back of the house and tried another way in. They didn’t get halfway down the basement stairs when the floor collapsed and Fields was trapped under a support beam.”

  Ashton inhales deeply, causing her strong chest to broaden. She focuses her effort to keep her voice even and unraised as to not disrupt the other people in the waiting area. “Tell me where your judgement was off. Do you even know, or do you stand by everything you did tonight?” He doesn’t answer. Ashton rubs the back of her neck, massaging at the tension, then turns and points to a chair near her group. “Take a seat.”

  He doesn’t move or say anything, so Captain Hunt grips his shoulder, and firmly says, “Take a seat, Decker.”

  He sits down in an empty chair a few chairs away from Juan and Erin, and Ashton and Captain Hunt remain standing in front of him.

  Still trying to keep her tone even and voice lowered as to not cause a scene, she starts explaining the flaws in his leadership tonight. “First of all, when you have a fire with knowledge of the presence of explosive or flammable chemicals or materials, such as gas, propane, oil, paints, etcetera, it is county law that you upgrade the fire to a three-alarm at a minimum and alert the police so they can determine if it’s necessary to evacuate the surrounding area. Second of all, when your crew is telling you the structural conditions are unsafe for human access, you never force them forward, especially when there are no humans or animals inside needing rescuing. You didn’t need to send anyone into that basement. If part of the floor had collapsed, you had a perfect window through that floor to reach that fire directly. Did you go inside to assess the situation when Perez gave you the structural update?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “I gave an order and…”

  “Stop.” He narrows his eyes at her. “Sometime after you were promoted to lieutenant, you forgot what it means to be a firefighter. And you never fully grasped what it means to be a lieutenant.” He jumps up to get in her face, but Captain Hunt shoves him back down, and she continues. “What do you think that shield represents that we wear every day? Do you think it’s a badge of glory? No, it’s symbolic of the true shield.” She points at herself then at him, the captain, Perez, and Erin. “Our bodies are the shields. We are walking, breathing human shields who protect our communities and each other. If you are not willing to walk into a fire, you are not a firefighter. If you are not willing to climb into a sinkhole to save someone, or take a bullet for someone, you are not a firefighter. A firefighter is a walking shield from all dangers. Do you understand me?”

  “I’m a lieutenant and need to lead and…”

  “Yes, you are a goddamn lieutenant, a leader, yet you don’t lead! You supervise! A leader stands with their crew. A leader walks into the worst fires ahead of their crew to make sure it’s safe for them to enter. If you cannot lead inside and outside, you do not deserve to be a lieutenant. There are no supervisors in the fire department, only firefighters. Tell me, which one are you? Are you a firefighter willing to die for his brothers and sisters and the strangers we serve? Or, are you a supervisor who just wants to hang back and bark orders while everyone else puts their lives on the line? Pick one – right now.”

  “What good is a leader who’s dead?” He points at her with a fast-hard jab, “Or one who’s all fucked up with injuries and can’t work for two to three months?”

  “The answer is in the events of tonight. You sent Fields and Perez into that house. Perez made a judgement call to turn back because it was too dangerous. That is leadership. Then you barked at them till they had no choice but to try again. But instead of listening to you and proceeding the same way you sent them in, they found a safer way to enter the first floor. That is leadership. And you know why they can demonstrate leadership so much better than you can? Because their leader,” she points her thumb at herself, “always goes into the fire with them, every fucking time. This is not a corporation where we shoot down new talents to protect our own positions. Every firefighter should be groomed to lead. Every firefighter should be able to act independently with minimal instruction from their lieutenant or captain.” She points to Perez and Erin. “These men and women know how to do their jobs. They don’t need you barking orders at them every two seconds. They need you to physically lead and to watch their backs while they do their jobs. And you can’t watch their backs if you’re standing outside when you’ve got men and women inside.”

  She rubs a hand over her head and takes a deep breath before she continues. “Look, I’m not trying to be an asshole. What we do is seriously dangerous work and it can be terrifying. If you just can’t get yourself to walk into a fire anymore, then you need to take a step back and let someone who can to take over. Too many people’s lives depend on us for us to be afraid to do our jobs. There’s no shame in saying you’ve had enough.”

  He bolts up out of his chair, spitting, “Fuck you, Hyland,” and slams his hands into her chest before she can react. The impact causes her body to jerk hard, causing a searing pain in her ribs and eliciting a gasping groan. She loses her footing as she stumbles back and falls painfully into a chair. She bends forward, reaching back to place a hand on her ribs, still groaning through clenched teeth.

  Juan leaps up to punch Decker, but Ashton holds up a hand, and through a hiss of pain, says, “Perez, stop. We’re not barbarians.”

  Captain Hunt steps in front of Decker with his hands on his hips and his medium brown brow furrowed so deeply the space between his eyebrows looks like an accordion with the number of fold
s he has.

  “No, we’re not barbarians. We are protectors of the community. But you don’t seem to understand that. For assaulting a colleague, your lack of leadership, and for not following county laws tonight, you are suspended without pay effective immediately. I will review your file with the chief and we’ll decide if you still have a job to come back to.”

  “Don’t fucking bother. I quit.”

  “Drop off of all of your gear and your truck at the firehouse, tonight.”

  Without another word, Decker storms away from them and Skylar immediately skips over to Ashton with Ashton’s burgundy wine-red blazer over her dress. She sits down next to her and gently places a hand on her back and one on her cheek.

  “Ash, are you okay? Do you think you hurt anything?”

  “I think I’m alright. It just jerked my ribs.”

  She gives Ashton a soft kiss on the lips and caresses her cheek. “Are you sure? Maybe you should get checked out anyway, just to be sure.”

  Ashton smiles as she playfully pinches Skylar’s chin. “Okay, if it would make you feel better, I’ll get checked out.”

  “Thank you.” Skylar gently tugs her forward and gives Ashton a brief, soft full mouth kiss. As she pulls away, she runs her fingers through Ashton’s short hair along the side. With their faces close and her voice lowered and laced with affection, she says, “You were great with how you handled that. When you jumped up, I thought for sure you were going to punch him.”

  “I won’t lie. I wanted to. But that wasn’t going to solve anything. I’m sorry you had to watch that.”

  She releases a small laugh against Ashton’s lips as she gives her another soft kiss. “Why are you always apologizing? Ash, from what you’ve told me about that guy, and after what happened tonight to Eric, all of that needed to be said.”

  “She’s right, it did need to be said.” They look up at Captain Hunt, who is looking down at them with barely a hint of a curious smile. Ashton quickly stands up, wincing in the process, and he shakes her hand. “Lieutenant, you better get checked out and don’t do anything to jeopardize your healing. We need you back to work as soon as possible. This has been a long time coming, but after what I saw here tonight and other recent events, I think it’s safe to say that by the time you come back to work, you’ll be returning as Captain Ashton Hyland.”