A Sister's Shame

by Carol Rivers

  She froze. She had never seen a gun before. What was it doing there? The cold, hard metal caught the light. In the drawer it was just an object but when used it became a weapon of violence and of death.

  The voices outside had stopped. Reaching down to close the drawer, Vesta paused. She couldn’t believe what she saw next. It was a photograph. Although her fingers touched it, her eyes couldn’t believe it was real. The man in it was Bill, the woman, her. They were both naked.

  Vesta felt dizzy and sick. She tried to clear her head and stared once more at the couple, their bodies twisted together. Could they really be her and Bill? Was she imagining it?

  Vesta’s throat tightened. She could hardly breathe. Someone had been watching them, hidden from their view as the photograph was taken. She felt terribly ashamed. The photo brought back all her feelings of desperation and guilt as she had begun to realize what Bill had wanted her for. Her eyes were closed as if she had shut herself off from reality.

  Vesta felt a moment’s terror. Why had she not known about – or even suspected – that hidden camera?

  She knew the answer to that. It was because of the drink and the pill she had been given. It had helped to blot out everything. She hadn’t cared about her actions, nor had she suspected the evil that was around her.

  ‘You little fool, what are you doing?’ It was Teddy. He snatched the letters from her and put them in his pocket. ‘It would be the end of me if Wally caught you snooping in here.’

  ‘That’s me and Bill in those photographs,’ she blurted.

  Teddy glanced down and shrugged. ‘It’s called insurance. The Scoresbys have their way of getting people to pay up or do what they want, if they prove to be tricky.’

  To her surprise Teddy picked up the gun. He pushed the cold steel up and down her arm. ‘Do you like the feel of it? Does it excite you? Well, I hope it will remind you that you’re the Scoresbys’ property, all bought and paid for. We’ll have no more tantrums or dramas. You don’t want that pretty face messed up again, or’ – he raised the gun to her cheek – ‘something worse.’

  Vesta trembled as he drew the tip of it over her sore skin. He laughed at her fear, a cruel laugh that now sounded crazy. She knew then that he was capable of carrying out that threat.

  He slid the gun in his overcoat pocket and closed the drawer. ‘Leo and Wally want to see you. Just smile and leave me to do the talking.’

  Vesta choked back her terrified sob. Everyone had warned her against Teddy. Even Flo Davis. Ada was right; she hadn’t known anything about the world. Teddy’s good looks and charm had dazzled her. His promises had made her believe he could give her everything she wanted.

  What a fool she had been!

  Teddy bundled her out of the door, and her legs hardly had strength to move as he propelled her towards Leo and Wally.

  Chapter 35

  On the morning of 26 April, Marie stood in her wedding dress, examining her reflection in the mirror. On Wednesday night Bing had helped her to bring the dress round to Sphinx Street. Since then it had hung in the wardrobe. The blue bridesmaid’s dress was wrapped up in a bag and hidden in a drawer. Marie knew that if Vesta was to have arrived in time to be her bridesmaid, it would have been before this moment. Had she decided that it would be too painful to meet her family again? Or had Teddy stopped her? Suddenly doubts and fears whirled in her mind, threatening to spoil the happiest day of her life.

  Marie turned her thoughts to Bing and their future together. She was marrying a wonderful man whom she loved and trusted. Bing wouldn’t want to see any trace of unhappiness on her face. She pulled back her shoulders and took a deep breath.

  Once more, she studied her image with care. Her dress was ankle length, the modern fashion for brides; the pointed sleeves matched the pointed waist of the bodice. Ada’s silver locket hung round her neck. The stone in her engagement ring sparkled and the small blue bow on her cuff reminded her that she was wearing something old, something borrowed and something blue.

  Marie reflected on the beautiful lilies and buttonholes that had arrived early this morning. Elsie and Ada had taken them into the kitchen before setting the buffet on the dining table. Hector had arranged the drink to his liking, as he and Charlie would be giving the toasts.

  When Marie put on her dress, Ada had gasped.

  ‘You make a beautiful bride,’ she’d whispered, quickly wiping away a tear. ‘Shall I help you with your veil?’

  Marie felt her heart beating fast as Ada lifted the veil and secured the satin band of pearls that held it in place. Ada tucked her blonde waves under. ‘It fits just right.’

  Marie stared at her reflection, wondering if all brides felt so nervous. Would Bing think she looked beautiful? ‘Is Dad ready?’

  ‘He’s all fingers and thumbs this morning. But he still cuts quite a dash for an old-timer.’

  Marie knew if it hadn’t been for Bing, this day might not have come. He had rescued her and Hector from the Duke’s. She loved him dearly and knew that he was the right man for her.

  Ada kissed her cheek. ‘I know you and Bing will be very happy.’ A horn sounding outside made them jump. ‘That’s Charlie!’

  Marie went out to the front room. Hector beamed her a smile and held out his arm. In his formal grey suit and grey bow tie, with his moustache trimmed neatly and his shock of dark hair smoothed down over his head, he looked like the old Hector that everyone knew and loved. ‘Don’t worry, love, you’ll knock ’em dead,’ he whispered. There were tears in his eyes. It was his old saying to her and Vesta. Marie knew they were all thinking of Vesta. They missed her and it wasn’t the same without her. But now it was time to go to meet her groom, who would be waiting at St Luke’s for his bride.

  Marie walked slowly down the aisle on her father’s arm as the organ played the Wedding March. Bing turned and smiled at her. His smile made all her worries fade away and her heart fill with love. He stood tall and handsome in his black dress suit. The light from one of the tall windows fell on him and Charlie, who also was dressed in black. Marie’s heart beat very fast as the congregation turned to look at her and Hector. Marie felt Hector press her arm against him. At the front, Ada and Elsie were smiling, all traces of sadness gone. Ada looked elegant in her new coat, a slim-fitting light grey woollen dress and matching wide-brimmed floppy hat. Elsie was wearing a green tailored skirt and matching jacket, while Nina was dressed in a pale pink coat and pretty box hat, and Wippet was wearing a grey suit and tie. Some of the girls from work sat behind them, along with Elsie’s friend from Bethnal Green. Charlie’s new girlfriend, Madge, a pretty brunette from Dublin, sat beside her.

  Bing’s parents were seated on the other side. Ivy was dressed all in cream and brown with a feather in her hat. Johnny looked tall and smart in a suit, his hair standing on end, just like Bing’s. Marie smiled at them. There were faces she didn’t recognize, but all were smiling as Hector stood aside to allow Bing to take his place.

  She looked up at the man who would soon be her husband. She loved him so much. The Reverend David Hughes, the clergyman who was to marry them, had a kind, smiling face. The organ finished playing and for a moment the church was very still. Marie thought the thud of her heart was so loud, everyone could hear it.

  ‘Dearly beloved,’ said Mr Hughes, his voice echoing clearly, ‘we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony.’

  As he spoke Marie looked at Bing. Love spilled from his eyes. She wanted to be with him for the rest of her life.

  Her voice felt very small when she made her vows. Bing’s was strong and solid. Mr Hughes led them: ‘. . . to have and to hold . . . from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part . . .’

  They were beautiful words. Marie knew she would honour them always, and though there may be ups and downs in their marriage, she knew they woul
d be happy. Fleetingly she thought of Vesta. Her twin was not here to see her married. Marie looked into Bing’s eyes again. Love filled the empty space that Vesta had left.

  Charlie handed over the ring. Bing took Marie’s hand. ‘. . . With my body I thee honour you; and all my worldly goods with thee I share: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.’ He slid on her ring. The golden band gleamed on her finger.

  ‘I pronounce that they be man and wife together,’ said Mr Hughes when the blessings spoken. ‘Robert, you may kiss the bride.’

  Marie knew that, as Bing placed his lips on hers and told her he would always love her, this was the happiest day of her life. She had dreamed of another life once; but that dream could not compare to the way she felt today.

  The organ boomed out again and Bing led her to the vestry to sign the register. She was now Mrs Bobby Brown and her husband was beside her and had promised he always would be. It was a promise that she knew Bing would keep.

  Marie and Bing stood outside on the church steps. The sun shone down on them and people cheered. The photographer adjusted the camera on the tripod, and friends and family crowded round. A slight breeze lifted Marie’s veil. Everywhere smelled fresh and new. All through the service, there had been a breathless hush, but now everyone was talking and laughing. Bing squeezed her arm as she leaned against his tall, strong frame. She was now Mrs Brown and wanted to shout it to the world. As they went to Bing’s car, where Charlie was in the driving seat, confetti showered over them. First Ada and Elsie, and then Bing’s parents hugged Marie. She knew she would remember this day all her life: the smells, sights and sounds of the East End on her wedding day – hoots from the river traffic, the sirens and the cries of the gulls – the silence as Bing slipped on her ring; the Vicar’s clear voice and the organ’s beautiful music.

  Everyone waved as Marie and Bing sat in the back of the car. Marie couldn’t stop smiling. She was sitting beside her new husband and was the happiest girl in the world.

  Bing took her in his arms and kissed her. He whispered, ‘I love you, Mrs Brown.’

  ‘And I love you too.’

  ‘No canoodling in the back seat!’ shouted Charlie, giving a toot on the horn. It was only a short distance to Sphinx Street, but everyone stopped to look at the red car with white ribbons tied to the bonnet.

  It was only when Marie glanced down at the lilies in her lap that she was reminded of that one special person missing, and for a short while her thoughts went to Vesta, who would have looked beautiful in the blue bridesmaid’s dress.

  ‘I can’t believe I’m married,’ Marie sighed much later that day, as Bing carried her up to the newly painted black door in Manchester Road. ‘And this is our new home.’

  ‘I’ll prove it.’ He set her down and unlocked the door. He pressed the key into her hand. ‘It’s all yours.’ She went to step in, holding her wedding dress up from the floor, but Bing grabbed her and swung her into his arms. ‘Hold on a minute. I’ve got to carry you over the doorstep.’

  She giggled as she held tightly to his broad shoulders. All afternoon she had longed to do this, to be alone with him. The reception had been wonderful, with plenty of eating and drinking, whilst Bing played requests on Elsie’s piano. The music, dancing and singing had kept everyone entertained until finally darkness had fallen.

  ‘I’m only ten minutes’ walk away,’ Marie had reminded Ada as they left. But all the same, Ada’s tears had fallen. It wasn’t until now, with her arms around Bing’s neck, that she could truly take in all that had happened.

  Bing set her slowly down. He pressed his hands down over the sleeves of her dress. ‘I don’t know how I kept me hands off you today.’

  Then he kissed her long and hard as they stood in their new home. ‘I’ll build a fire,’ he told her, kissing her again.

  ‘No, don’t do that.’

  ‘Don’t want my wife to get cold.’

  ‘We won’t if we’re in bed.’

  Bing gave a lusty growl. ‘Do you mean that?’

  ‘We’ve only got the weekend together.’

  ‘We’ve got all our lives. But I like your idea. Thought that you’d want to do something else first, though. Like unpack your suitcase or have something to eat.’

  ‘Most of my clothes are here. There’s only a couple of things I had to bring with me. The suitcase isn’t going to hurt in the car for one night. As for eating, yes, I’m hungry. But not for what we’ve got in the larder.’

  He took her in his arms again. ‘Mrs Brown, you know how to drive a man crazy.’

  She grinned. ‘I’m learning.’

  Bing was kissing her and whispering as he took her to the bedroom and they fell on the bed. ‘September ain’t that far off for our honeymoon.’

  ‘I’m counting the days.’

  He tipped up her chin. ‘Did you miss your sister?’

  ‘Yes, but I have you.’ She didn’t want to be unhappy. And she knew if she thought about Vesta, she would be. This was her wedding night; she wanted to lose herself in the happiness she had found with Bing.

  He kissed her long and passionately. In the darkness, he began to undress her. As he touched and caressed her, she gave herself up to the lovemaking of the husband who would now be her partner for life.

  Marie opened her eyes to the unfamiliar sight of the open sash window with its flowered drapes and gleaming white lace. A shaft of late April sunshine flowed over the maple chest of drawers beneath, identical in rich texture to the wardrobe beside it. The gentle breeze drifted in the river air and she smiled. From the scullery she could hear her husband singing, clattering around and making tea.

  Sitting up in bed, she folded her hands over the beautiful damson counterpane that Ada and Hector had given them as their wedding present. Marie still couldn’t believe she was now married and kept repeating her married name over and over, revelling in the warm, wonderful feeling of joy and happiness. Bing had made a passionate and thoughtful lover. She blushed at the thought of their first night together. If she had had any worries before, Bing had soon dispelled them.

  How many times had he whispered he loved her? That she was beautiful and the woman of his dreams? Just trickling his fingers over her bare skin had made her want him. She hated the thought of Monday when they would part, he to the docks and she to the factory. She wouldn’t be able to wait to get home from work to see him.

  Now, as she listened to Bing humming softly, she smiled. So much had happened since they’d made their wedding vows. Images came to her mind of Ada and Hector dancing together. Elsie had got a little tipsy and flirted with one of Bing’s friends. The big, burly docker had insisted on lifting her up and whirling her round the floor. The girls from work had given her a card from Mr Morton, wishing her every happiness. Wippet had persuaded Kaiser to light a cigarette and even Nina had joined in with the singing.

  Marie watched the dust motes, bright in the sunlight, flow down to the foot of the bed. Soon Bing would carry in their tea and lie beside her again. She trembled at the thought of his strong, lean body, muscular in all the right places, firm and yet yielding under her touch.

  Marie reached out for her mirror on the bedside table. In the oval glass, she saw a different Marie to the girl who had walked down the aisle. Now a woman gazed back, happy and fulfilled. Under her blonde hair, her blue eyes were serene. Even her freckled nose seemed to shine healthily.

  ‘How’s my girl this morning?’ Bing strolled in, placing a cup and saucer beside her. He sat on the edge of the bed. She still couldn’t believe that she was married to this man. He wore only his white pants, his toned chest and muscular arms evidence of the hard work he did in the docks. His arms were sprinkled with fine light hairs, which caught the rays of the sunshine. There wasn’t an inch of spare flesh on his body; she had run her fingers over it a thousand times last night, unable to believe this man was all hers.

  Her heart raced as he leaned forward and kissed her. His lips were tender, i
nquisitive and exploring. After their night of passion they now shared a lingering, confident delight. Marie was amazed at each little revelation, each discovery they made between them.

  ‘What were you singing?’ she asked as she sank her head back on the pillow.

  His eyes were filled with a teasing sparkle. ‘I was tuning up. Did you recognize it?’

  ‘No, but I can guess.’

  ‘Come here then, snuggle against me and I’ll sing it to you.’

  Eagerly Marie wrapped herself around him, resting her head on his chest. She tried not to giggle as he coughed softly and cleared his throat. But her smile soon faded as he began to sing ‘Let Me Call You Sweetheart’. Not only was he note-perfect, but his soft, husky voice was so beautiful that it brought tears of love and joy to her eyes. His fingers stroked her bare arm as he sang, entwining in her hair and running down the curve of her neck to the sensitive knuckle of bone on her shoulder. Each word, she knew, was meant for her. It was their song: a song of hope and endearment that seemed perfectly right for lovers.

  When he had finished, she lifted her head from his chest and put her mouth close to his. Her lips were wet with tears and he drew away the moisture with his finger, tracing their full curve. No words could be found between them. The song would always remind them of this moment, the first day of their life together and, they hoped, many more to come.

  It was hours later when they woke. Bing’s arm was thrown across her and, as he opened his eyes, he smiled, his hand sliding down to pull her against him.

  ‘Who is this beautiful woman in my bed?’ he teased, sliding the strap of her slip over her arm and kissing her shoulder.

  ‘You’d better stop that, or we’ll be here all day.’

  He gazed at her with a deep longing. ‘Another good idea, Mrs Brown.’

  ‘I’m full of those, you wait and see.’

  ‘I’m no fool, marrying a genius.’

  She took hold of his ear and tweaked it. ‘That’s for being cheeky.’