A Sister's Shame

by Carol Rivers

  ‘Don’t upset yourself, love,’ Ada soothed. ‘There’s plenty more on the airer.’ Ada hurried out and Vesta dropped her head to the pillow. ‘I hate meself, Marie. Look at me, I can’t even wee in the pail on me own. Mum has to help me.’

  Marie held her hand. ‘You’ll feel better when the infection goes.’

  ‘I don’t want to live like this. I’d rather be dead.’

  ‘You said that before and I believed you.’

  ‘I meant it then.’

  ‘But you don’t mean it now. So stop trying to scare me.’

  That brought a glimmer of a smile to Vesta’s face. ‘I know I’m a misery guts.’

  ‘Yes, but you’ve got reason.’

  ‘Was it Bing who got me out of that place?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Vesta pushed herself up and winced. ‘I don’t remember much after—’ She broke off, looking away.

  ‘You’ll be better soon.’

  ‘Marie, I’m scared. Teddy will find me again.’

  ‘He wouldn’t come round here.’

  ‘That nurse might tell him what she did and he’d guess I’d come back to Mum and Dad. What if he turned up with that gun?’

  Marie laughed, although her smile soon faded. The thought was ridiculous but Vesta looked frightened. ‘He wouldn’t, not in broad daylight. Not in Sphinx Street, with everyone about.’

  ‘I’m not so sure.’

  ‘Listen, don’t worry about things that won’t happen.’

  Vesta managed a nod. ‘I don’t know what I’d have done without you. I know you think it was wrong what I did, but I wouldn’t know how to look after a baby. And anyway . . .’ She looked sad again. ‘I didn’t know who the father was. I’d always be thinking of what they did to me and the baby was the result. I might even have blamed it.’ She gave a small sob and closed her eyes.

  Just then Ada came in with a bowl of warm water. Over her arm was a pair of knickers and a fresh nightgown. Marie helped her to wash and clean Vesta. Her bones stuck out at all angles. She complained of the pain, causing her to draw up her legs again.

  Ada covered her with the bedclothes. ‘Would you like a bite to eat, love?’

  ‘No, I just want to sleep and forget everything.’

  Marie bent down and kissed her cheek. ‘Don’t worry,’ she whispered, ‘you’ll soon feel like your old self again.’

  In the kitchen, when the gas was lit and the kettle boiling, Marie sat with Ada at the table.

  ‘Marie, Vesta is afraid Teddy might come round here,’ Ada said worriedly.

  ‘Yes, I know. But he wouldn’t do that. He’s too much of a coward.’

  ‘If your father was home, I’d be happier.’ Ada looked into Marie’s eyes. ‘Sometimes I catch myself thinking of the future and having my little girl back.’ Ada raised her thin eyebrows, her eyes suddenly hopeful. ‘I even dream of her finding a good man who will love her and protect her. But then . . .’ Ada’s face clouded and she looked sad again. ‘But she can’t have children. What man wants that?’

  ‘There must be some.’

  ‘After what happened to her?’ Ada clutched her hands and entwined her thin, rough, red fingers. ‘In any man’s eyes she’s damaged goods.’

  ‘Don’t say that.’

  ‘But it’s true, isn’t it?’

  Marie knew she was right, but Vesta could have died in that stinking hovel. She had survived the ordeal and now she had a future – perhaps not as it could have been, but still with the love of a family around her. ‘One day she’ll find someone to love.’

  ‘I hope so. If only that Teddy hadn’t given her all the luxuries of life that me and your father could never afford. Clothes, shoes, jewellery, going to posh places, they all impress Vesta. He was so clever. He gave her everything she loves and more. He bought her, like that other man did.’ Ada shuddered, closing her eyes. ‘I can’t bear to think of what happened to her. Someone should punish them, but we can’t tell the police.’ She covered her mouth with her hands as tears shone in her eyes.

  ‘Mum, let’s take a day at a time.’

  ‘Yes, Elsie said the same thing.’

  ‘Does she know what happened?’

  ‘With all the doctor’s visits, I had to confide in her. There ain’t much that me and Elsie don’t share.’ Ada looked down at her work-worn hands. ‘Wippet and Nina know she’s back home but I ain’t told them much.’ She gave a frown. ‘Do you think it’s a good idea to lock the front door?’

  ‘Because of Teddy?’

  ‘It ain’t been locked in years. The key always hangs on the string. But I could ask Elsie to take that away and give Wippet and Nina their own.’

  Marie hesitated. She knew her mother was very worried. Would Teddy really try to come round? ‘It can’t do any harm.’

  ‘I’ll go and speak to Elsie.’

  Marie stood up. ‘And I have a husband to feed.’

  ‘Thank you for stopping by, love. You always put a smile on your sister’s face.’

  ‘See you tomorrow afternoon. As it’s Saturday and me afternoon off, I’ll do your shopping.’

  But Ada only smiled. ‘No, you have a home of your own now. In all this, have you forgotten you are Mrs Brown, not Marie Haskins any longer?’

  As Marie walked home to Manchester Road she thought of the housework that awaited her: the light coat of dust everywhere, and the floors that needed washing and sweeping. She hadn’t even changed the bedclothes. Bing hadn’t complained that his dinners were late or even not cooked when he got home. He knew Vesta came first.

  Marie smiled as she opened her front door and looked around. If she started now, she could have dinner ready by the time Bing came home. After that, she would attend to the housework.

  Chapter 39

  It was the following Friday when Marie found her sister sitting in a chair in the front room.

  ‘It’s wonderful to see you up,’ Marie said as she slipped her key into her pocket. Every time she came now, she had to unlock the front door.

  ‘Mum said she wanted to change the bed.’ Vesta’s voice was a whisper.

  ‘Do you feel any better?’ Marie sat down eagerly.

  Vesta picked at the threads of her dressing gown. ‘A bit.’

  ‘Why don’t you put some lipstick on?’

  ‘What for? Who’s gonna see me?’

  ‘Nina and Wippet called in last week. Remember, they brought you some fruit? And Elsie gave you those flowers.’ She nodded to the white chrysanthemums on the table.

  ‘Yes, it was very kind of them.’

  ‘Do you feel like putting on a blouse and skirt?’

  ‘I haven’t got any nice ones here.’

  Marie smiled. ‘There are some of our old clothes in the wardrobe. Mum kept them just as they were.’

  ‘It’s like a museum.’

  ‘She’s only doing her best.’

  ‘I don’t want to wear that old rubbish again.’

  ‘It was good enough for us both once.’

  ‘Yes, but then I didn’t know what was good taste.’

  Marie looked hard at her sister. ‘Vesta, life won’t be the same as when you were with Teddy. He might have spent lots of money on you, buying you things, but remember it was for a reason. You were just a clothes peg, and worse, his clothes peg.’

  Vesta nodded. ‘He knew my weakness was clothes.’

  ‘And make-up, and shoes, and jewellery and—’

  ‘All right, don’t go on.’

  Marie laughed and Vesta, after pouting, also laughed.

  ‘It’s nice to see you smile.’

  ‘I haven’t for a long time.’

  Marie had an idea. ‘I could bring some of my things round. I do have a few nice outfits. And we’re still about the same size.’

  ‘Would you?’

  ‘Yes, it would be nice to talk about things like that again.’ Marie twisted the two rings on her finger, recalling the hope she had had for Vesta turning up for her wedding. ‘Your bridesm
aid’s dress is still in the bottom drawer of my wardrobe.’

  ‘Did you really buy one for me?’

  ‘Of course. I said I would.’

  ‘But what would I want a bridesmaid’s dress for now?’

  ‘It can be altered,’ Marie suggested quickly. ‘When you start to go out again and begin a new life, it could be made very pretty.’

  Vesta’s eyes grew misty. ‘I can’t believe I’ll have a new life. And as for the dress, it would always remind me that I’ll never be a bride, or have a husband like you’ve got, or babies.’ She got up and clutching her stomach, made her way back to the bedroom.

  Marie knew she shouldn’t have mentioned the dress. The next time the rag-and-bone man came round, she would get him to take it away. After all, Vesta was right. It would always be a reminder to them both and was no use to either of them now.

  Another week went by and it was suddenly June. The Saturday afternoon was warm and dry, and Bing had suggested that, after their visit to Vesta, they could drive up West.

  ‘It’ll be a flying visit today,’ Marie said. ‘I’ll give these clothes to Vesta and then we can go for our drive.’ She had promised him that today they would do something nice on their own.

  ‘Can’t wait,’ he grinned as he drove them to Sphinx Street. ‘We’ll go to Lyons for tea, then, take a walk along the Embankment.’

  Marie was wearing her best floral dress for the occasion. She hoped she didn’t look too bright and breezy; she still felt guilty for being happy when Vesta was sick. She was hoping the clothes in the bag might cheer her up.

  When they climbed out of the car, the summer breeze lifted her newly washed hair and flapped at her frock. The air was filled with the promise of summer. It was just a week to go to their birthday. Marie hoped that in a week’s time Vesta would feel like eating the cake that Marie planned to bake.

  Bing slipped his arm around her waist as they went up the steps. She thought Vesta might be up today, as the doctor had told her she needed to exercise now the bleeding had stopped.

  ‘I see you’re still using the key to get in,’ Bing said as Marie rummaged in her bag.

  ‘Yes, just to be sure.’

  ‘Don’t reckon Teddy would chance setting the cat amongst the pigeons. What he made Vesta do was a crime. If Old Bill was told, he could be prosecuted and he knows it. And she ain’t no use to him as an invalid, is she?’

  ‘No, but Mum is happier this way.’

  ‘Suppose it can’t hurt,’ Bing agreed as they went in.

  Marie smiled at Nina, who was coming down the stairs. As usual, she wore a smart dark suit and high heels, but her face was hidden under a short grey veil that dropped from her pill-box hat. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Wippet appeared on the half-landing above. ‘Nina, don’t go! Please listen to me.’ He looked distraught, trying to hurry down the stairs on his short legs. In his haste, he tripped and fell, and Bing hurried to help him.

  Nina turned and Marie gasped. Under the veil, Nina’s face was bruised and battered. ‘Oh, Nina, what’s happened to you?’

  ‘Nina!’ Wippet struggled out of Bing’s grasp. But by the time he got to the door, Nina had gone.

  Wippet’s body trembled. ‘Oh, Nina, Nina, my love,’ he whispered.

  ‘Wippet, what happened? What’s wrong?’ Marie asked.

  ‘Everything,’ he groaned as he gazed up. ‘Did you see what they did to her? They beat her up.’

  ‘Who?’ asked Bing in a bewildered voice.

  ‘The man she called her uncle.’

  ‘You mean he’s not her uncle?’ Marie asked.

  ‘No. Nina wants people to believe he is. He met her when she was a cloakroom attendant and keeps her with his money. Whenever she tries to get away from him, he threatens to kill her.’

  ‘So he’s the one who did that?’ Bing growled.

  ‘Oh, no,’ Wippet muttered bitterly. ‘He’s too much of a coward. He paid the Scoresbys to do his dirty work.’

  Marie’s mouth fell open. ‘The Scoresbys? Are you sure?’

  Wippet nodded. ‘If only I could have protected her! But look at me. I’m useless.’ Suddenly he put his hand on his chest and clutched the banister.

  ‘Wippet, are you all right?’ Bing asked as the little man tried to stand up.

  ‘It’s my heart,’ Wippet gasped. ‘I need my medicine. Will you help me back to my room?’

  Just then, Elsie’s door opened. ‘What’s going on?’ Elsie blinked her eyes. ‘I was just having forty winks. Oh my Gawd, what’s wrong with Wippet?’ She watched Bing lifting him up the stairs.

  ‘He’s got a bad heart,’ Marie said sadly.

  ‘I knew something was up,’ Elsie breathed. ‘I found him sitting on the stairs the other day, out of puff. What was all that commotion I heard?’

  ‘It was Wippet chasing after Nina.’

  ‘What’s up with her?’

  Marie quickly told Elsie what happened.

  ‘I always thought there was more to the girl,’ Elsie nodded, seeming unsurprised as Bing came down the stairs.

  ‘Is he all right?’ Marie and Elsie asked together.

  ‘He ain’t in the best of health,’ Bing told them quietly.

  ‘I guessed he was pining over Nina,’ Elsie commiserated. ‘That old sod who she called her uncle is just a dirty old man. And those Scoresbys – they are at the bottom of it all again.’ She sighed. ‘There ain’t nothing that can be done about it either. While all these young girls fall into the trap of wanting the good life and thinking they can get it with sods like Teddy, then they’ll go on doing what they do.’ She looked at Marie. ‘Sorry, love, don’t mean to speak out of turn, but it’s the truth.’

  ‘If only there was something we could do,’ Marie nodded. But everyone knew that Teddy and the Scoresbys held a power in the East End that no one would challenge.

  When Marie and Bing walked in to Ada’s, Vesta was standing in the middle of the room. She was in her nightgown and barefoot, wearing her old resentful expression.

  ‘Ah, now, here’s your sister,’ Ada said as she hung Vesta’s dressing gown round her shoulders. ‘I’ve been trying to persuade her to put on a dress from the wardrobe. But she don’t like any of them.’

  ‘I’ve got some nice things here.’ Marie opened the bag. ‘A couple of dresses that will be nice for the summer. And a little jacket for when you go out.’

  ‘I don’t know when that will be,’ Vesta shrugged.

  ‘It won’t be long now.’

  ‘The doctor says the infection is still there.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Ada, ‘but he also said it’s getting better.’

  ‘Come into the bedroom and we can try some on,’ Marie suggested, hoping it wouldn’t be long before she could cheer Vesta up and get away.

  Ada gave a big, bright smile. ‘That’s the ticket, girls. It’s just like the old days, ain’t it? The family’s all together again. Now, Bing, Hector’s just gone for a couple of ales, to have with our meal.’

  ‘Mum, we don’t want to put you to the trouble of cooking—’ Marie began, intending to say this was just a short visit. But Ada waved her hand.

  ‘It’s no trouble, love. There’s shepherd’s pie in the oven and we’ve got sponge and custard for afters. Now run along, you two girls, and enjoy yourselves.’

  Just then, Hector walked in, carrying a brown raffia shopping basket. The tops of four bottles stuck up and gave a little chink. ‘Ah, everyone’s here,’ he grinned, giving Bing a slap on the shoulder and going to peck Marie on the cheek. ‘This is wonderful, just like old times. All we need now is the grub, Ada.’ He smiled, looking round him. ‘I might even pour me and Bing a tipple now.’

  Marie glanced quickly at Bing. He gave a quick roll of his eyes. Then as Hector took his arm and led him over to the dining table, Marie had a sinking feeling. Their plans for a romantic day looked set to be ruined.

  In the bedroom, Marie put the bag on the bed and took out the two dresses and the ja
cket. She had also brought stockings, bra, slip and knickers, all of which were quite new.

  Vesta sat down beside them. ‘You weren’t going to stay, were you?’

  Marie blushed. ‘Course we were.’

  ‘You could never tell lies. Not like me.’

  Marie looked into her sister’s thin face. ‘That’s not a nice thing to say about yourself.’

  Vesta pulled the dressing gown round her. ‘I got very good at it when I left home.’

  Marie sat on the bed beside her. It squeaked loudly. They turned to each other and smiled. ‘The bed ain’t changed, even if we have,’ said Vesta, brushing her greasy hair from her eyes.

  Marie laughed. ‘Shall we put a record on?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Vesta glanced at the Victor phonograph, with its great brass horn and soft, velvety turntable. ‘I’ve not played it since I came home. There are too many memories.’

  ‘Let’s share one together then.’ Marie got up and lifted the top. She found the record she was looking for, and giving the handle a wind, she lifted the heavy arm. As the needle touched the record there were lots of jerks and bumps. The machine was very old now, but it still played. As she sat down on the bed again, a girl’s voice began to sing ‘In My Sweet Little Alice Blue Gown’.

  After a while, the twins began to sing the words together. Words from their childhood. They still remembered them and when the music ended, Marie turned off the record.

  She looked at Vesta, who wiped away a tear. ‘That was meant to cheer us up.’

  ‘I know. And it did.’

  ‘A fine way of showing it.’

  ‘It’s just that I don’t feel meself And when I hear that, I think of who I was once. I won’t ever be that person again.’

  ‘No one is. We all grow up.’

  ‘Yes, but you were sensible and grew up the right way. I even blamed you once for not following our dream. And look where it got me.’ She put her hands on her stomach. There could be a baby in here and not an infection.’