Always Something There to Remind Me

by Lilian Kendrick

  Paul dropped us off at the grand front entrance of the studio. A liveried doorman escorted us to the green room where a few other celebrity guests were chatting over light refreshments. Everyone seemed to have met before and lots of ‘air kisses’ were exchanged. My knees were a little shaky as I stood in the same room as people I’d only ever seen on TV: a comedian, an actress from one of the soaps and a Michelin-starred chef who warned me not to try the vol-au-vents.

  ‘Darling, they’re soggy!’ He looked outraged. ‘If you have to have pastry, I’d go for the vegetarian sausage rolls. I don’t know what the BBC’s coming to – all those cookery shows and they can’t lay on a decent buffet.’ He wandered off to rejoin his partner who was staring in disbelief at a slice of limp pizza. Josh caught my eye and laughed as he tasted one of the soggy pastries.

  ‘Don’t stand on ceremony, love. They’re not that bad,’ he said. ‘We won’t be having dinner until eight-thirty, so we may as well get stuck in.’

  I was starving, so I took his advice. The comedian came over to join us and hugged Josh.

  ‘Good to see you, mate. It’s been too long.’ He turned to me and offered his hand. ‘I’m Jonny; Josh and I go way back. And you are …?’

  ‘Lydia.’ I shook his hand. It was time to bite the bullet. ‘I’m a reporter for a web-based fanzine. Josh was kind enough to invite me to cover the show tonight.’

  ‘Bringing your own press now, Josh? That’s a new one! You used to spend most of your life avoiding them.’

  ‘Lydia’s not like the others.’ Josh looked around the room. ‘Wonder where our hostess is? Have you met her yet, Jonny?’

  ‘No, but I saw her on Aussie TV when I was over there in October. She had a chat show called Afternoons with Alice. She’s pretty cool.’

  I almost choked on my vol-au-vent as I made the connection. This was Alice’s show? Thank heaven Des had turned down her invitation to come along. I had no more time to think about it as an official from the studio came in to make an announcement. The celebrity guests were escorted to the make-up room and their ‘plus ones’ were invited to take seats in the auditorium and watch the warm-up acts.

  Alice spotted me as I took my seat in the second row. She was engaged in conversation with the floor manager, but excused herself and came over.

  ‘Good to see you again. Where’s Des?’

  ‘I thought you said Des wasn’t coming. I came with Josh Greenwood. I had no idea it was your show.’

  ‘Oh dear. This could be awkward. Des called me an hour ago and said he’d changed his mind about coming and could he bring a guest. So I added him to the list. When I saw you I assumed … well, you know.’

  I swallowed hard and forced a smile. ‘I guess we’ll be on a double date then.’

  Alice wasn’t fooled by my feigned levity. ‘I have to get back on set,’ she said, taking my hand. ‘If you’re with Josh, I’ll be seeing you at the party later. I’d better warn you – Des and his “date” will be there too. This could prove to be an interesting evening.’

  That may well be the understatement of the year! I thought.

  Chapter 31: Spotlight on Romance

  The house lights went down. I’d never witnessed a TV show being filmed before and the excitement managed to penetrate my emotional turmoil to some extent. It was similar to being in a theatre, but there was so much technology around in the form of cameras and microphones that it wasn’t quite the same. I hadn’t seen any sign of Des and his date yet but, as the lights on the set came on, I was aware of movement in the front row. I didn’t pay much attention at first as the show was starting. The PA system burst into life.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to In the Spotlight, a new venture from the BBC in collaboration with Crayford Media Australia. Here is your host, Alice Mayfair.’

  As Alice took her seat on set, I risked a glance at the late arrivals. As I’d feared, Des was sitting directly in front of me with his companion – Tess, the man-eater from our writing group. Could things get any worse? They hadn’t noticed me and I wondered briefly if I should try to sneak out, but Alice was introducing her first guest so I sank lower into my seat and prayed that neither of them would turn round.

  ‘Please give a warm welcome to award-winning actress Jackie Henderson, better known to most of us as barmaid Mollie King from The Local.’

  An electronic sign instructed the audience to applaud. Alice greeted Jackie and the interview began in earnest. Five minutes of standard questions and chat about her recent BAFTA and her plans for the future had me stifling a yawn. Alice’s final question snapped me out of my reverie.

  ‘Thanks, Jackie. As it’s Saint Valentine’s Day, tonight’s spotlight is on romance. We invited all of our guests to bring a date. I believe your fiancé is in the audience; let’s get him onstage for a minute.’ She turned to the audience. ‘Richard – come on down.’ A roving spotlight swept along the rows and tracked the young man as he was led onto the set and given a radio microphone. He shook hands with Alice and hugged Jackie.

  ‘What a lovely couple,’ Alice said, producing a bouquet of red roses for Jackie and a bottle of champagne for Richard from behind the sofa. The huge monitors dotted around the studio showed close-ups of the smiling pair. ‘Thanks for joining us tonight on Spotlight and good luck for the future. Let’s hear it for Jackie and Richard, ladies and gentlemen, the first of tonight’s happy couples.’ The ‘Applause’ sign flashed again and the couple walked off arm-in-arm.

  She’s not going to do this with all of the guests, surely? I wondered, starting to panic. I wouldn’t have long to wait as she was already making the next introduction.

  The other interviews followed a similar pattern – chat, followed by putting the ‘dates’ in the spotlight. I wanted to die or at least crawl away and disappear, but there was no chance of escape. The dreaded moment arrived.

  ‘My final guest is truly a superstar. With a recording career spanning more than thirty years and still going strong, former front man for rock band Luvsik Kitten and now headlining with Alley Kat, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the one and only Josh Greenwood.’

  Applause! Applause! Applause!

  The sign screamed at me as Josh walked onto the set, waving to the audience and kissing Alice, before sitting on the sofa and answering her questions about his latest album.

  ‘Will I be getting flowers too?’ he asked as the interview was drawing to a close. ‘No one sends me flowers these days.’

  Alice laughed. ‘I can’t believe you’re short of admirers. My researchers tell me your current tour is a sell-out.’

  ‘Well, that’s true, Alice. But the fans nowadays aren’t quite as prone to random romantic gestures as they used to be; their husbands tend to object. Some of their grandkids aren’t too keen either.’

  The sign flashed ‘Laugh!’ just in case we hadn’t realised this was a joke. As the laughter died down, Alice spoke again. Was it my imagination or did she cast a glance in my direction?

  ‘It’s been really great talking to you, Josh. At this point, I had planned to ask you to introduce us to your date for this evening, but I’m just getting a message through my earpiece that she’s been called away to take an urgent phone call.’

  Josh looked surprised – so did the floor manager who was trying to catch Alice’s attention.

  I realised straight away that her ad-lib had saved me from the embarrassment of being paraded in front of Des and Tess as Josh’s latest girlfriend.

  Alice presented Josh with his champagne and a bunch of roses. ‘Perhaps you’d like to give these to your partner with our best wishes … unless you’d rather keep them.’

  ‘I may just do that,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’ve never been stood up so publicly before.’

  ‘Laugh! Laugh! Laugh!’ flashed the sign.

  Alice made her closing comments and the show ended. The set lights went down and the house lights came up. Des and Tess made a speedy exit without looking around and I stayed put
to give them a head start. I fully intended to sneak away and call a cab to go home. My world was falling apart. Josh Greenwood, rock god and superstar, had been so kind to me. He was gorgeous, talented, witty and sexy as hell. I knew that if I saw it through to the end of the evening he might have ‘expectations’. After all, I’d been a fan for thirty years and I’d shown little resistance to his charms so far. But it was all wrong. He could have any woman he wanted and he deserved better than a screwball like me whose heart was set on someone else. If I disappeared now, he’d only have to pick up the phone to get another date for dinner. Des and Tess could live happily ever after and I could go home and lick my wounds, order a Chinese and maybe, in a week or two, get a dog to keep me company in my old age.

  The studio was almost empty now – time to make my escape. I bent to retrieve my handbag from under the seat and, as I stood up, I saw Des standing in the aisle, waiting for me.

  ‘What’s it to be, Lyd?’ he asked. ‘A fancy dinner with your own personal rock star or sharing a doner kebab with Mr Nobody while he tells you what an idiot he’s been.’

  I walked towards him and took the hand he offered in both of mine. ‘Bet my idiot story’s longer than yours,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry, Des …’ He cut off the rest of my apology with a lingering kiss.

  ‘God! I’ve missed you,’ he said at last, coming up for air. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

  ‘What will we tell our dates?’ I asked as we ran out of the building.

  ‘Don’t worry, Alice will take care of the explanations and I’m sure Tess will take care of Josh.’

  Chapter 32: The Best Part of Breaking Up

  We picked up our kebab supper and drove to my house. After dinner, we settled on the sofa and cuddled, not saying anything for quite a while. After all, not saying anything was what we did best. Eventually, Des broke the silence.

  ‘You made a great job of the interview report. Very professional, I thought.’

  ‘Thanks. Josh was really laid-back. He saw straight through me, but went along with it anyway.’

  ‘And then he asked you to join him tonight? No one can ever say you didn’t get a real date with him now, can they? I mean … it was meant to be a real date, wasn’t it?’ He was ‘fishing’. I decided honesty would be best.

  ‘Yes, I suppose so. He rang and invited me. I didn’t know where we were going or anything, but it was meant to be a real date.’

  ‘Then I showed up and spoiled it all?’

  ‘No. It was already spoiled. I should never have agreed to go. When you appeared I was just about to call a cab and run away.’

  ‘Really? Why? Did you think he’d be mad at you for not going on camera as his date? Or were you worried about being alone with him later?’

  ‘Neither, as it happens.’ The truth is, I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there with Tess and I’m afraid to think about it. ‘Anyway, don’t you feel a little guilty about abandoning Tess?’

  Des laughed out loud. ‘Guilty? Not at all! Tess knew the score all along.’

  ‘What do you mean, she knew the score?’

  He hesitated briefly. ‘Well, er … ours definitely wasn’t a real date.’ He looked sheepish and was avoiding eye contact.

  ‘Would you care to elaborate?’ I teased, sensing his discomfort.

  ‘Not really,’ he replied, ‘but I don’t suppose you’re going to let me get away without explaining … are you?’

  ‘No way!’ I laughed. ‘Explain yourself.’

  He sighed. ‘I know you talked to Alice this morning – she called me afterwards. I was coming to see you this afternoon to try to sort things out. I watched you leave with Josh and thought I might as well give up. I rang Alice and told her I’d go to the studio tonight after all as you were with Josh. That was when she told me Josh was on the show, so I guessed you’d be there too. I almost cried off, but then I thought about it and called Tess. She agreed to come with me and said if I managed to clear the air with you she’d be only too pleased to leave us to it.’

  ‘So, Alice and Tess helped you to set me up, huh?’ I couldn’t help smiling at the thought that the two women I’d feared most as rivals wanted to make sure Des and I stayed together.

  ‘I suppose they did, but they meant well and it was all my idea. Can you forgive me?’

  ‘On one condition – I want to know all about your other women from now on, preferably before they show up and I jump to all the wrong conclusions.’

  Des let out a sigh of relief. ‘I’ll write you a list, but you may have to wait a while.’

  ‘Why’s that?’

  He took my hands and smiled. ‘Because I can’t think of anyone else when I’m looking at you and right now that’s all I want to do.’

  After everything that had happened between us in the last three months, I couldn’t believe I could still blush like a schoolgirl at a compliment, but I did. I leaned forward and kissed him softly, feeling the heat mounting in my body as he held me closer and the kiss intensified. I’d never known such desire before and I sensed that he felt the same as I unbuttoned his shirt and stroked his chest, my hands travelling in slow circles down to his waist as I planted gentle kisses on his face and neck. He unzipped my dress and eased it off my shoulders, teasing the top of my breasts with his tongue as I lay back on the sofa and raised my hips, helping him to remove it completely.

  ‘I want you so much,’ he said.

  ‘I want you too. I can’t wait another minute.’

  I joined him on the carpet and we discarded the remainder of our clothes and completed our reconciliation, coming together at last with laughter and tears.

  Much later, Des turned on the computer.

  ‘I’ve just found our song,’ he said. ‘Listen to this.’

  He clicked ‘play’ and the YouTube track sprang to life:

  ‘The best part of breaking up, is when we’re making up.’

  Chapter 33: The Moon and New York City

  The next few weeks were fairly uneventful. The most significant thing was that Des and I were officially a couple and, as such, we did ‘couple stuff’ together. I arrived at his place one Thursday evening while he was making a Skype call to his sister in New York. Despite my protests he pulled me onto his lap in front of the webcam and handed me a spare headset so I could join in the conversation.

  ‘Janie, this is my girlfriend, Lydia. She’s coming to New York with me next month.’

  The jerky image of his sister on the monitor waved at me.

  ‘Hi, Lydia. It’s good to meet you. I was beginning to think he’d invented his mystery woman to get me off his case. I’ve been telling him for ages he should start dating before he forgot how to.’

  I laughed. ‘I think we’re both relearning at the moment. It’s good to meet you too, Janie.’

  Des clicked ‘capture’ and the webcam saved a still image of the two of us. The first photo we’d taken together.

  ‘I’ll send that to you, sis, he said. ‘We have to go now. Talk soon.’

  ‘Take care, Des and Lydia, ‘bye!’

  As the connection closed, I turned from the screen and put my arms around Des’s neck.

  ‘That’s the first time you’ve introduced me as your girlfriend,’ I said. ‘I like it. It makes me feel young again.’

  ‘We’re only as old as we feel, babe. Besides, what else would I call you?’

  What indeed? No longer ‘just friends’ or even ‘friends with benefits’; I’m his girlfriend and he’s my world.

  * * * * *

  Trudi breezed in on Easter Monday. I was still in my nightie when the doorbell rang.

  ‘Darling, it’s been ages! How are things?’

  ‘Wonderful, thanks.’ I hugged her. ‘How about you?’

  ‘I’m OK. I ditched Emilio. This relationship stuff doesn’t suit me at all. I was born to be single. What are you up to today?’

  ‘I don’t know yet. We had a late night and Des is still asleep so we haven’t ma
de any plans.’

  ‘Oh sorry, I forgot about Des for a moment. I gather everything’s still going well?’

  ‘We’re fine. We’re off to New York next week.’

  ‘I thought you were going later, for your birthday?’

  ‘We had a change of plan. We’ll still be there for my birthday, but we’re going earlier. We’ve been invited to Alice’s wedding on the twentieth at The Foundry in Long Island.’

  ‘She’s one cool customer inviting her ex to her wedding,’ Trudi laughed.

  ‘We owe her a lot. She was the prime mover in getting us back together.’

  ‘Of course. I’ll drive you both to the airport if you like.’

  ‘That would be great.’

  * * * * *

  On April 18th, I boarded my first ever commercial flight. I was nervous, but no longer terrified at the prospect. After all, I’d survived the helicopter ride with Josh and this time I had Des at my side and the prospect of a fabulous holiday ahead.

  We took our seats for the five-hour journey and Des held my hand as we took off. I panicked briefly as I remembered all the news stories I’d ever heard about plane crashes.

  I don’t want to die! Please God, don’t let us crash.

  Then I looked across at Des who was smiling and squeezing my hand.

  ‘Are you OK, baby?’ he asked.

  ‘I think so … don’t let go of me.’

  ‘I’m right here, you’ll be fine.’

  In that moment, I knew it was true – I’d be fine. If anything disastrous happened, at least we’d be together at the end and maybe we’d even have time to say the things we’d never said. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. In no time at all, I fell asleep and dreamt I was Lois Lane flying high in the arms of Superman.

  * * * * *

  We took a taxi to our hotel and for the first time I really understood the time difference. We’d left the UK at 9 a.m., yet here we were, five hours later, making our way through the Big Apple’s morning rush hour. We checked in and a bellhop took us up to our suite on the tenth floor.