THE PHOENIX WEDDING: The Complete 6 Books Series

by CJ Bishop

  Shock spread across the men’s faces. “Married?” Horatio stared at him. “Really?”

  “Yeah,” Nolan murmured, deliberately avoiding Grid’s eyes as the younger man ventured closer. Had he put the pieces together? Surely he had. “It’s in the best interest of our son.” He looked at Rueben as the boy gazed around uncertainly at all the new faces. “I need to be in his life.”

  Samuel addressed Horatio. “Could we talk to you and Max?” he spoke low, discreet. “It’s important.”

  “Samuel…” Nolan shook his head.

  “She can’t do this to you, Nolan,” he insisted quietly.

  “Do what?” Horatio frowned. “What’s going on?”

  “Tell them,” Samuel urged.

  Caleb approached, climbing the porch steps slowly. “Samuel…what…?” He shifted his eyes to Nolan and Rueben. “Is something wrong, Nolan?”

  Lingering at the bottom of the steps, Grid stared up at him, waiting for him to answer.

  Oblivious to the sudden tension in the air, Jules bounded up the steps and stopped abruptly at the top, eyes wide as he gazed up at Rueben. Nolan looked down at the child as Jules cocked his head. Rueben shifted and stared at Jules. Everyone remained silent as the two boys became the center of attention for a moment. The puppies scrambled up the porch steps and jumped on Jules, tails wagging and tongues licking. Jules giggled and tumbled onto his butt, fighting off the eager pups.

  Rueben’s eyes lit up when he saw the puppies but continued to cling to Nolan shyly.

  Giggling harder, Jules crawled to his feet, blue eyes sparkling as he grinned up at Rueben. “Wanna go play?”

  Nolan hesitated then looked at Rueben. “Do you want to go play with the puppies?” A shy smile formed on Rueben’s face. He nodded.

  “The power of puppies,” Adrian chuckled.

  Setting Rueben down, Nolan squatted next to him. “This is Jules.”

  Jules pointed at each of the puppies. “This is Cowboy and this is Jonah. Cowboy is my puppy. Jonah is Axel’s.” He turned and pointed at Axel who smiled with amusement. “Clint gave Jonah to Axel. Clint’s a real cowboy.” Jules grinned and patted Clint’s knee, then asked, “What’s your name?”

  Rueben ducked his head and gazed at Jules with big eyes that peered out from beneath long, thick lashes. “Rueben.”

  “Cool.” Jules reached out boldly and took his hand. “Come on. If we run, the puppies will chase us.” He giggled and took off, taking Rueben with him whether he wanted to go or not. Both boys scurried down the steps and raced across the wide backyard. The two pups instantly scrambled after them in hot pursuit. Jules and Rueben squealed and ran faster, veering into Clint and Axel’s portion of the yard with the puppies quickly gaining on them.

  The men on the porch laughed, watching the boys. Nolan stood slowly, uncertainty pinching his heart. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought Rueben out here. Kids got attached quickly. What if he couldn’t bring Rueben back?

  Chapter 7

  Grid stood numbly at the bottom of the steps. As soon as the little boys ran off to play with the puppies, all focus returned to Nolan.

  “Is something wrong?” Horatio addressed Nolan, repeating Caleb’s question from a moment ago.

  Samuel touched Nolan’s arm and spoke low. “Tell them.”

  His face strained with anxiety, Nolan cast another quick glance at Grid, started to speak, then paused abruptly when Abel, Devlin, and the younger twin boys emerged from the house, followed by a teen boy and girl slightly older than the twins.

  “You finally made it.” Max approached them with a smile and spoke to the twins. “How you boys doing?” He gently touched Noel’s head. “How you feeling Noel? You okay?”

  The boy nodded and stood close to his brother, practically clinging to him. Noel was looking a little better than when they’d picked him up in Chicago a couple days ago. He remained shy and fearful, though no longer terrified. Grid was again filled with gratitude toward Jeff and the guys for rescuing Noel off the streets.

  Nolan was introduced to the two boys, then he excused himself and disappeared into the house. Grid climbed the steps and Devlin immediately shook his hand. “We can’t thank you enough for what you did.”

  Smiling, Grid said, “I just made a phone call. Jeff and his buddies were the heroes.”

  “We all work together to make miracles happen,” Devlin smiled. “You’re a part of this one.”

  “Thank you,” Grid murmured, touched. He looked at the boys. “How are they doing?”

  “Good,” Devlin assured.

  “I heard that Noel had to go to the hospital the other night.” Grid shifted. “It wasn’t serious, was it?”

  Devlin hesitated then shook his head. “No. He’s going to be fine.” He didn’t offer details, and Grid didn’t press for any.

  “I’m glad. They seem like real sweet boys. It’s good that they’re in a caring home now.”

  “It’s strange,” Devlin said softly. “How you can live years of your life unaware of someone, but as soon as they come into your life…you wonder how you ever lived without them.” He chuckled low. “Don’t mean to get all dramatic. But it was that way with Abel, and now it’s the same with Noah and Noel.”

  Grid was beginning to understand exactly what he meant. It was getting more and more difficult to imagine his life without Nolan in it. When Devlin turned to speak to someone else, Grid slipped past the small group gathered on the porch and entered the house.

  He found Nolan in the kitchen, standing at the sink and slowly nursing a glass of water, his back to the doorway. “You could’ve told me,” Grid said quietly. Nolan stiffened. Grid stepped into the kitchen. “You could have been honest…explained your situation.”

  Nolan didn’t turn around. “It wouldn’t have changed anything. We still couldn’t…can’t…see each other.”

  Grid paused at the table. “Why do you have to marry her to be a part of your son’s life? What did Samuel mean when he said she couldn’t do this to you?” He swallowed thickly. “Do what?”

  Sipping from his glass, Nolan gripped the edge of the sink. “It isn’t your concern,” he whispered. “Samuel thinks there’s a way to change the situation.” He paused. “There isn’t.”

  “What situation?” Grid pressed, knowing he was overstepping his bounds, but unable to just let it go. “What is she doing to you? Is she using your son against you, to force you to marry her?”

  Nolan shook his head slowly. “Just walk away, Grid,” he mumbled. “You’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you. This is too complicated for you to get caught up in. You don’t even really know me. So just…walk away and forget we ever met.”

  Grid stared at his back. “That isn’t possible.”

  “Yes, it is.” Nolan’s words were unsteady, steeped in emotion. “It doesn’t feel that way right now, but it is. The longer you’re away from me, the easier it will be to forget.”

  “I’m never going to forget you,” Grid said and walked closer. “Or what happened between us.”

  Nolan shook his head. “It was a one-night stand,” he whispered. “People have them all the time and then walk away.”

  “That isn’t how it felt to me.” Grid stood behind him and hesitantly touched his back. Nolan went rigid. “It felt like it could be so much more.” He pressed his lips to Nolan’s shoulder. “And I know you felt it, too. I saw it in your eyes. Felt it in the way you touched me. And you can deny it, but I know you were going to tell me how you really felt…just before we were interrupted.”

  “Grid…” Nolan ducked his head and rubbed his eyes. “You need to let it go.”

  Grid kissed the curve of his neck. “How?”

  ♦

  Nolan clutched the sink with his left hand until his arm ached. If he let go, he would turn around and get caught in Grid’s arms, his kiss. He was struggling with his feelings for Grid as it was. Seeing him face to face again broke down the smidgen of resistance he’d built up; or thought he�
��d built up.

  “I’m not a fuck ‘em and forget ‘em kind of guy.” Grid’s warm breath sifted across Nolan’s ear. “Even if I were, I still wouldn’t be able to walk away from you. There’s something special about you…about us. I know you feel it, too, Nolan.” He kissed his ear. “Turn around and look me in the eye, and try to tell me different.”

  You don’t get it! Nolan wanted to cry. It doesn’t matter if it’s special or not—I can’t have you! And you can’t have me.

  “If you honestly care for me,” Nolan trembled. “Then you’ll respect my wishes and not come around me anymore.” As he spoke the words, his heart ached for Grid to fight him on this…even if it was futile.

  “I do care about you.” Grid pressed closer. “That’s why it’s so hard for me to just let it go. I didn’t come to New York expecting for anything like this to happen. I just wanted to casually explore my newly realized attraction to men. I had no idea that the first man I had sex with would…” His arms slowly curled around Nolan’s body and hugged him tight. “…steal my heart.”

  “It wasn’t my intention,” Nolan whispered unsteadily, though hearing those words come out of Grid’s mouth made his heart pound furiously, and his body heat up.

  “I know.” Grid kissed his neck. “But it didn’t stop it from happening. I’ve never felt anything like this before. How can you ask me to try and forget it?”

  Too many things were happening too suddenly in Nolan’s life. And the two greatest events were clashing and tearing him apart inside. Every second of every day was a battle of some form. It had only started a week ago and already he was weary…emotionally wrecked. Grid’s arms around him now wasn’t making it any easier, because Nolan knew the freedom and tranquility of surrendering to the young man. And he longed for that now more than ever; to just stop fighting, if only for a moment, and experience that peace of mind that came with Grid’s kiss…his sensual, soothing touch…

  Nolan slowly loosened his grip on the sink, his fingers stiff from clutching the edge of the stainless-steel basin. When he shifted, Grid’s arms relaxed a fraction, allowing Nolan to twist around and face him. Their eyeslocked, and Nolan was pulled into Grid’s blue/green pools. He lost his composure and grabbed Grid’s head, crushing his mouth in a desperate kiss. Grid’s arms cinched around him, and he pinned Nolan against the sink, shoving into the kiss with equal desperation and hunger.

  Someone could walk in! You can’t ‘come out’ now! If it got back to Patrice…

  With a shaky gasp, Nolan shifted his head, his lips slipping away from Grid’s eager mouth. “Grid…” The man’s mouth went to his neck, sucking and kissing. Nolan shivered as his fingers delved deep into Grid’s hair and his eyes closed as his head dropped back. Oh God, baby, you feel so good.

  Grid drew back and kissed Nolan on the lips, his urgency softening as warm passion took over. He rubbed his hands up Nolan’s back and trembled through their kiss. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “But I’ve been missing you like crazy since that morning in your apartment.” He submerged Nolan in another deep kiss then pressed his head to Nolan’s brow and caressed up and down his back. “You’re the best thing to ever come into my life,” he murmured. “Please don’t ask me to let go and walk away. Please…” he kissed him again and hugged Nolan tight against his body.

  “Grid…” Nolan hugged him back—clung to him—and kissed his shoulder, his lips lingering as tears formed. “I wish it could be different…” He went still as a movement in the doorway caught his eye. Nolan raised his head slowly as he stared across the kitchen at a shocked Samuel.

  Samuel discreetly cleared his throat and Grid pulled back, startled, and turned around. “Samuel…”

  “Didn’t mean to interrupt,” the younger man offered with a hesitant smile.

  Grid stood nervously beside Nolan. He shook his head. “You…you didn’t…we were just…” He didn’t finish; it was obvious what they were doing.

  “Yeah, I saw,” Samuel smiled. “Do you mind if I talk to Nolan for a minute?”

  “Uh…no.” Grid looked at Nolan and said quietly, “This isn’t over, okay?”

  Nolan just stared at him; Grid had no idea what he was up against. When Grid left the kitchen, Nolan averted his eyes from Samuel’s stare. “That wasn’t what it looked like,” he mumbled.

  Samuel chuckled. “I think it was exactly what it looked like. And it wasn’t the first time, was it?”

  Sliding his hand over his mouth, Nolan remained silent.

  “Didn’t think so,” Samuel concluded. He walked over and leaned against the counter next to Nolan. “Why didn’t you tell me you were one of us?”

  “One of you?” Nolan frowned.

  “Sexy gay boys.”

  “I’m…” What? Not? He stopped himself before the ridiculous denial slipped out. “Just…don’t tell anyone. You don’t know what Patrice is like. Or the age-old prejudices that run through our families. If she found out I was…” he sighed and shook his head, raking his hand through his hair. “She would call off the marriage and never let me see my son again.” He glanced toward the kitchen doorway. “Is he okay out there?”

  Samuel smiled. “He’s having a great time with Jules.”

  Nolan felt sick at heart. “Maybe it isn’t good for them to become friends,” he murmured. “Once Patrice and I are married…” he swallowed thickly, a deeper ache pushing into his heart. “I won’t be able to bring him back out here. I won’t…” he looked at Samuel—the young man he’d found so irritating and incorrigible not so long ago—and tears stung his eyes. “I won’t be able to see any of you again.”

  Samuel stared at him. “And Nick and Christian’s cases?” he asked quietly. “I’m not an attorney, Nolan. I need your help.”

  Guilt struck Nolan. He knew Caleb was counting on them to help free his brother and his boyfriend. “I’m sure one of Horatio’s attorneys can assist you. And probably more effectively than I can. He’s retained the best.”

  “These are our cases,” Samuel said. “You’re as invested in it as I am. I need you.”

  Nolan lowered his gaze and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Samuel,” he whispered. “I don’t have a choice.”

  “Maybe you do. Let’s talk to Horatio about this, like we planned. If he can put Jensen and his team on it…”

  “As good as they are,” Nolan murmured hopelessly. “They’re no match for two major firms backed by political power.”

  “You don’t have to be a giant to defeat a giant,” Samuel said. “Remember David and Goliath? Or Gideon and his little army of three hundred that defeated thousands. Or what about Joshua? All he did was have his men march around the walls of Jericho a few times, and it came crashing down.”

  Nolan looked at him skeptically. “Those men were backed by God.”

  “And you don’t think He’s on our side?”

  Nolan shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, staring at the floor. “Word on the street is He hates…” Fags. “…people like us.”

  “All I know is…” Samuel squeezed Nolan’s shoulder. “…my family is made up of people like us, and we’ve received far too many blessings for me to believe that God ‘hates’ us.” He leaned against Nolan and smiled. “I kind of think He loves us.”

  Nolan shook his head. “I’m not a man of faith. I’m not even sure I believe in God.”

  Samuel sighed and wrapped his arm around Nolan. “Well, the great thing about God; we don’t have to believe in Him…for Him to believe in us.”

  Chapter 8

  Axel watched from the porch while Savannah and Maddy took the two boys out into the yard and introduced them to Zoe, Donald, and John. He noticed Noel hanging back as Noah made the actual greetings for them both. It had to be tough for Noel; he didn’t know anyone yet and having gone through what he had with his stepdad, it was surely his first instinct to expect others to ridicule him for the way he was.

  When Jules and Reuben approached the small group, Noel squatted down, a
nd the puppies immediately scrambled up on him for attention. Axel glanced at Clint who was now watching them as well. He didn’t know what it was about the two boys that had reeled the cowboy in, but it was evident he was completely wrapped around their little fingers.

  Axel left the porch and walked over to Noel and knelt on the grass next to him. Jonah bounded into his arms, and Axel laughed, holding the pup away from his face.

  “Is that one yours?” Noel asked quietly, hardly above a whisper.

  “Yeah,” Axel grinned, wrangling the pup. “Clint gave him to me.” He stroked the pup’s fur, his heart warming with the memory. Clint’s love for him had turned the cowboy’s world upside down; it wasn’t an emotion Clint was used to dealing with. And ‘love’ wasn’t something Axel had been used to receiving. They’d both been caught off guard. “A mean guy was abusing the puppy,” Axel explained softly. “Clint rescued him.” He smiled, recalling Gavin’s recount of the events. “And kicked the guy in the face with his cowboy boot.”

  Noel stared at him. “He did?”

  “He did. It wasn’t just for the puppy. The guy was mean to a boy as well. Clint saved him, too.”

  Lowering his eyes to the pup, Noel whispered, “Clint’s cool.”

  Axel smiled. “I think so, too.”

  “Are you and Clint getting married, too?” Noel murmured as he played with Cowboy. Jonah crawled off Axel and tackled the other pup, bringing a larger smile to Noel’s face.

  “Eventually,” Axel said. “But not at this upcoming wedding.”

  Lifting his head, Noel gazed at Noah who stood just a few feet away. “Jim always called Noah a…” he hesitated and glanced anxiously at Axel then looked at the ground. “…faggot.”

  “That’s an ugly word.” And one that Axel had used against Angel in the past, too many times to count. “Do you think Noah is gay?” he asked quietly.