THE PHOENIX WEDDING: The Complete 6 Books Series

by CJ Bishop

  Leaning close, Maddy whispered, “How you doing? Not too nervous, are you?”

  Noah swallowed hard. “Kind of.” His gaze again darted to Chris, and Maddy smiled, catching the fleeting glimpse.

  “Don’t worry,” Maddy murmured close to Noah’s ear. “He’s going to ask you to dance.”

  Instant heat scorched Noah’s cheeks and he ducked his head. Behind Noah, he thought he heard a very low, deep chuckle rumbled in Clint’s chest. Had he overheard Maddy?

  Noel shifted, wedging himself between Noah and Clint, seeking as much anonymity as possible. He was fast coming out of his shell, but Noah knew he still felt inferior to the other guys and deeply insecure about himself. He remained fearful about coming out to everyone as transgender, afraid that at least some of their new family wouldn’t understand or would make fun of him. Noah didn’t think so and was sure that Noel would see it as well after they were with the family for a little while.

  Music played and Noah focused on the ceremony as Savannah emerged through the curtains, dropping flowers along the way. Behind her, Jules and Reuben walked side by side, each holding up a side of the pillow with the rings. The two little boys were looking at the floor of the stage, grins on their faces as they walked the path of flowers.

  ♦

  She looks like an angel. The thought drifted through Maddy’s mind as his gaze settled on Savannah, her pretty blond hair sprinkled with baby’s breath and pinned up with tendrils dropping down to frame her beautiful face. Her white dress hugged her slender body, the hem billowing lightly around her knees. The white high heels made her taller and added elegance to her movements, allowing him a glimpse of the woman she would soon become. His heart skipped a few beats as the emerging man within responded and if there had been even a glimmer of doubt inside him that she was the girl of his dreams, it died in that instance.

  Her aqua eyes met his and a small smile formed on her lightly glossed lips. He had to will himself to stay put and not rush to her for another kiss from that wonderful mouth. He knew that when she looked in the mirror, she didn’t see the same girl that he saw. She cataloged every flaw, real or imagined; Maddy saw only perfection.

  Next to him, Caleb smiled and murmured, “She’s a vision.”

  Maddy could only stare and nod, his chest knotted up so tight he could hardly breathe, much less speak. All of Savannah’s fears and misgivings about their future together caused her to hold a part of herself back from Maddy, afraid she wasn’t being fair to him by encouraging and nurturing his budding love for her. But Maddy wasn’t bound by what may or may not happen. He was living in the now. Every moment she gave to him, he cherished. He would feel no regret in loving her, whether they had only a few years together, or decades. And he wouldn’t stop proving it to her until she understood that nothing she said or did or feared would prevent him from loving her with everything inside of him.

  ♦

  Grid sat next to Nolan, wanting to hold his hand but restraining himself. Others had surely seen them kiss, but Nolan wasn’t officially out and it wasn’t Grid’s place to grab onto him and drag him out. Nolan’s cologne taunted and tantalized him, wreaking havoc with his senses…and his body. Grid tried to focus, keeping his eyes forward and on the stage. To his right, Jamie sat quietly, his full attention on Seth. To distract himself from Nolan, Grid slid his arm around Jamie and leaned over, his voice low as he asked, “So, do you think Seth will be popping the question anytime soon?”

  Jamie pursed his lips in a smile, his face warming. “We’re still in college.”

  “So?” Grid grinned. “You can’t go to college and be married, too?”

  “I don’t think Seth is quite ready for that level of commitment.”

  “What about you?” Grid wondered. “Are you ready to take a step that big?”

  “I…I don’t know,” he stammered.

  “If he asked you right now, what would you say?”

  Jamie shrugged and smiled. “I’d say yes.” No hesitation.

  Grid chuckled. “That was a quick answer.”

  “Yeah, well.” Jamie ducked his head and laughed softly.

  Squeezing him in a one-arm hug, Grid kissed his head. “You’re adorable.” Grid straightened when he felt Nolan’s eyes on him. In the older man’s stare was a longing for Grid that surpassed sexual desire, and a quiet despair that he would never have all that he truly wanted. Grid took a chance and discreetly grasped Nolan’s hand, lacing their fingers. He leaned close, his lips brushing Nolan’s ear as the man’s intoxicating scent made Grid lightheaded, and whispered, “At the risk of sounding presumptuous…I’m going to marry you one day.” He lingered close, a part of him afraid to draw back and see the look in Nolan’s eyes. He and Nolan hardly knew each other; what would Nolan think of such an audacious statement?

  Nolan turned his face a fraction toward Grid, started to speak, then fell silent when the wedding march began to play.

  ♦

  “You realize the last time we were all out on this stage, we were nearly naked.” Devlin shook his head. “And in my case, making a fool of myself.”

  The other men looked at him incredulously. Cole chuffed. “Are you kidding me? You had everyone hyperventilating.”

  Devlin chuckled. “You’re just being kind.”

  “Do you hear this guy?” Dane snorted. “Just being kind.”

  “You two could always do an encore,” Angel smiled. “And we’ll show you all over again how it affects us.”

  “I second that motion,” Gabe nodded.

  “No, no. That’s okay,” Devlin laughed. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

  The wedding march began and Max chuckled softly. “All right, boys, put your game faces on. They’re calling us out.”

  Cole grinned. “I’m cocked and ready to go.”

  “Shit,” Horatio laughed then discreetly cleared his throat. “I think we all are.”

  This morning’s close encounter with Abel had merely been a quick fix for Devlin and he was looking forward to an entire night of unbridled, post-wedding passion. He looked at Abel. The next time we make love, I’ll be his husband. A sudden rush of love overpowered his sexual hunger and he kissed Abel. “Still want to marry me?” he smiled. “No last-minute change of heart?”

  The others chuckled as Abel stared at him in comic disbelief. “Just for that foolish question, I may have to extend the celibacy pact for one more night.”

  “I’m not asking any foolish questions,” Max assured Horatio. “No way, baby.”

  Devlin grinned and shook his head. “If you make me wait, you’ll become a widower on your wedding day because I’ll just lay down and die.”

  “Worry about dying from sexual deprivation later,” Cole smiled. “It’s show time.”

  ♦

  The protestors were growing louder, yet remained held at bay by the heavy entrance doors. What sound that did permeate the club was drowned out by the music. With each passing moment, Freddy sensed his frustration and annoyance with those outside growing stronger. He was confused about what he believed, but regardless—what gave the demonstrators the right to interfere with this wedding? It had nothing to do with them and, honestly, it was none of their business…was it? Maybe the Constitution gave them the right to protest, but what did they hope to accomplish? They weren’t preventing the wedding from going forth nor were they changing the beliefs of anyone involved.

  Freddy tuned them out, his eyes on the stage as a young, pretty blond of eighteen or so began to play the wedding march on an electric keyboard; a beautiful composition of traditional and modern acoustics.

  The rear stage curtains parted and the grooms emerged, the couples walking forth hand in hand. Each of their faces were aglow with a deep, consuming love for their partner. Again, Freddy’s gaze lingered on Dane and Angel. Repeatedly, Angel turned his eyes up to Dane, the soft stage lighting reflecting the dampness glistening therein. When Dane met Angel’s gaze, he smiled and brought Angel’s hand to his lips. />
  Yet again, Freddy was unable to determine if his reaction to the couple was envy. The tightness in his chest and throat…the ache seeping into his heart…that sense of…

  I want what they have.

  Freddy blinked and felt wetness on his lashes. He thought about his encounter with Dane at Dane’s parents’ home, the things he’d said to his cousin, implications he’d made. Had he really believed what he was saying…or simply playing it safe? Hiding behind the cloak of religion? The hostility both he and his uncle had radiated felt unjustified now as he watched the grooms take the stage. What, exactly, had they been condemning? The scene before Freddy wasn’t one that incited feelings of vile disgust, but warm, sincere love.

  Everyone had written Dane off as rebellious and decadent, chasing after a depraved lifestyle. He was “gay” and that was all the reason they had needed to – to all intents and appearances – disown him. But the man up there on that stage, holding Angel’s hand, was not a rebellious deviant. He was a man embracing who he was and refusing to deny his heart the love of another wonderful man.

  As the couples stood side by side, the preacher stepped forward and addressed the guests. “I am Pastor William Thompson, and I have the privilege of performing this ceremony today. On behalf of these four couples, welcome and thank you for being here. They are thrilled that you are here today to share in their joy during this wonderful moment in their lives.”

  Freddy focused on the preacher and wondered at the difference in this man as opposed to those outside, wholeheartedly protesting what this pastor was, in turn, supporting and joining together.

  “By your presence,” the pastor continued. “You celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other and you support their decision to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives.”

  The preacher’s warm eyes passed over the guests, then unexpectedly skipped across the room and caught Freddy’s stare from within the shadows of the entryway. Freddy froze, his heart suddenly pounding. The pastor’s gaze seemed to press into Freddy, past the barriers he was always so careful to secure, and touch a part of his soul that he was so afraid to explore himself.

  Deep abiding warmth filled the pastor’s voice. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves. If there is anything better than being loved, it is loving. This afternoon we are here to celebrate love. We come together to witness and proclaim the joining together of these persons in marriage.” His eyes gripped Freddy’s wide stare. “God does not make a love that is wrong. This is the union of eight individuals in heart, body, mind, and spirit. Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into lightly, but reverently, honestly, and deliberately. And it is into this union that these men come now to be joined.”

  Freddy trembled as everything inside him began to come unhinged.

  Chapter 6

  William didn’t know who the young man was, discreetly observing the ceremony in secret. He wasn’t anyone William had met. Possibly a curious protestor who had sneaked inside to see what it was all really about? William didn’t know, but felt a moving in his spirit—a confirmation from God?—that whoever he was, he needed to be here, to witness the real love between these men about to be married. Maybe William’s purpose here today wasn’t just to officiate the wedding—but to enlighten a confused and troubled soul.

  “Before we begin the exchanging of vows,” William said. “I would like to recite The Art of Marriage.” He faced the grooms. “A good marriage must be created. In the art of marriage, the little things are the big things.” His gaze drifted from one couple to another. “It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once each day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together, facing the world.” A soft smile formed at his next words. “It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right partner…it is being the right partner.”

  The men nodded slowly and cast loving looks at one another.

  “Now we come to your vows,” William said. “May I remind you that saying your vows are one thing but nothing is more challenging than living them day-by-day. What you promise today must be renewed tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you.” He addressed the guests. “Each couple will be taking their vows individually.” He nodded at Cole and Gabe.

  The three remaining couples withdrew from center stage as Cole and Gabe’s best men—Lex and Clint—took their respective places.

  ♦

  Gabe couldn’t remember a time when he was ever nervous on stage. Even his very first time stripping before an audience had filled him with a rush of excitement more so than nervousness. He’d known he was fucking hot and sexy—it was just a simple fact—and he knew how to work his body; there had been no cause for stage fright.

  Standing up here now, fully clothed, staring into the face of the man he loved…about to make that man his husband…he had a whole horde of butterflies in frenzied flight inside him.

  Pastor Thompson addressed the guests. “Before they recite their vows, the grooms have prepared some personal words for one another.” He nodded at Gabe and Cole.

  Gabe looked at Cole expectantly. Cole shook his head and smiled. “You first.”

  “Thanks,” Gabe mumbled, conjuring quiet laughter from the guests. Cole just smiled wider, eyes gleaming with love, and Gabe’s heart shuddered; the man was truly beautiful. He quietly cleared his throat and prayed his voice would hold steady as he began. “I remember the very first time I saw you. It was right here, on this same stage we’re standing on today. It was my first visit to the Phoenix club and the moment I entered, you captured my full attention. I became transfixed. I had never seen a more beautiful, graceful man than you. And I remember…” he paused briefly as his throat knotted. “I remember you looked my way and our eyes met and for a moment, I was lost in you. I know now that that was the moment I fell in love with you, that instance that you reached out and stole my heart away.” He swallowed, his throat squeezing tighter. “I don’t know why it took me a few years to realize I had loved you all along. It didn’t just come into being on that special night a few months ago…it had always been there.”

  Tears dampened Cole’s gray eyes as he stared back at him.

  “We’ve been through so much in such a short time,” Gabe murmured with a tremor. “And the fact that we’re still here, together…about to vow our love and lives to one another…is all the proof I need that this love is real. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have made it through. A lesser love would have bowed out, surrendered in the heat of battle.” His vision blurred as memories of the ‘battle’ flickered through his mind. “We almost lost each other. Almost. Almost lost…means we won. And that’s all that matters. Not how close we came to losing one another, but that we didn’t, that our love is still thriving. I am honored to be the man you love, the man you want to share your life with.” His throat worked and vision swam. “I love you more than life.”

  ♦

  The day they had first laid eyes on each other was as vivid in Cole’s mind as well. He’d known in that instance that there was something special about Gabe. Maybe Gabe didn’t know why it took him so long to consciously admit he loved Cole, but Cole was aware of his own reasons for holding back his heart. Had it not been for that night with Abel, he may still be holding it back. But the emotions that had exploded through him the night he and Gabe had joined hearts and made love to Abel…it had blown his heart wide open, disintegrating all barriers and walls. Even now, he understood the element of risk involved with taking Gabe so deep into his heart and life, but he had no choice; he lo
ved Gabe and there could be no denying it.

  Cole grasped Gabe’s hands and brought them to his lips. “The honor is all mine,” he said softly. And it did indeed feel like an honor that Gabe loved him, that he wanted him. There remained a remnant of guilt and pain inside Cole for his reckless actions while Gabe had been under Quinton Sanitini’s control. While Gabe had been suffering at the hands of a sexual sadist, Cole had been…

  He let the thought roll away. Gabe had forgiven him. Or rather, hadn’t considered him in need of forgiveness. Cole wished he could feel the same. Oddly, it didn’t feel strange or wrong to have Lex stand as his best man. Regardless of what had happened between him and Lex—the man had aided in saving Gabe’s life. That in itself awarded him a place of honor.

  “In the few years that we’ve been friends,” Cole said quietly. “And so much more than friends these last few months…I feel like we’ve already spent a lifetime together. But I could spend ten lifetimes with you and it wouldn’t be enough. Without you, I wouldn’t exist…not in heart, or soul. Sometimes, I lay beside you and watch you sleep, thanking God with every beat of my heart that you’re still here with me, that I get to fall asleep in your arms each night and wake up to you each morning. I don’t know what I would have done if God had chosen to take you away that night. I can’t imagine spending even one day without you by my side.” He kissed Gabe’s hands again, his lips lingering. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”