Lady Elect

by Nikita Lynnette Nichols

  When Mother Gussie had informed Lance that Arykah didn’t make it to the Cartwrights’ in time to console the family and tend to their needs, Lance was hot under the collar. He told Mother Gussie that he’d be sure to speak with his wife.

  Being the loud mouthed and independent woman that Mother Gussie knew her first lady to be, she assumed that when Lance had spoken with Arykah, fireworks had popped off. Now Mother Gussie knew that the fireworks had apparently taken place in their bedroom. But how could Lance go from one extreme to the next? Yesterday, he was clearly upset. But now, he’s behaving as if nothing happened.

  Mother Gussie wouldn’t put it past Arykah to have been naked when Lance arrived home yesterday. That fat cow seduced him. That had to be it.

  “Mother?” Lance snapped her out of her thoughts a second time.

  She blinked twice and looked at him. “I’m sorry, Bishop, what did you say?”

  “I asked about the Cartwright funeral. Have the arrangements been finalized?”

  Mother Gussie was messed up. Discombobulated. She couldn’t gather her thoughts.

  She looked at Lance like she was seeing two of him. “Huh?”

  “Mother, are you feeling all right?”

  She blinked twice again to combine the two Lances into one. “Um, yeah, uh, what was your question again?”

  Lance had never seen Mother Gussie that out of sorts. He became concerned. “Sit down, Mother.”

  Mother Gussie’s equilibrium was off. Slowly she sat down on the edge of the chair across from Lance’s desk with one butt cheek on the seat and the other hanging off the side. It took a few moments for her to compose herself.

  “Can I get you a glass of water?” Lance asked.

  Mother Gussie composed herself and sat up straight in the chair. “No, Bishop. I’m fine.” She felt a hot flash coming on. “The, um, services for Justin will take place on this coming Saturday morning. The wake is at nine and the funeral is at ten.”

  Lance had been jotting down the information when he looked up at her. “And the burial site?”

  “Is at the Restvale Cemetery. The last car in the procession must have passed through the cemetery gates before one P.M., or the cemetery will charge Brother Cartwright an additional three hundred dollars.”

  Lance nodded his head and completed his notes. He looked up at Mother Gussie and smiled. “Fine, Mother.”

  She stood and proceeded to exit his office when Lance called out to her. “Mother, will you get me the number to that flower shop that’s located on South Ashland Avenue ?”

  “I’ve already taken care of the wreaths and flowers for the funeral, Bishop.”

  “Okay, great. But I want to send Lady Arykah two dozen roses to the realtor’s office. She didn’t have a good day yesterday. Hopefully the flowers will help to make today better for her.”

  Mother Gussie’s feet were glued to the floor. What in the world was going on? She was sure she’d heard disappointment in Lance’s voice when she told him that Arykah had missed her appointment with the Cartwrights. “This is unacceptable,” she remembered him saying.

  Maybe if she reminded Lance about his wife’s shortcomings, he’d rethink the flower order. “About yesterday, Bishop, I’m so sorry that Lady Arykah failed to do what you asked of her. I know how particular you are, and when you ask that a task be carried out, you expect it to be done. A careless mistake like that on Lady Arykah’s behalf is a bad reflection on you and this church as a whole. Maybe you should—”

  “All is well, Mother. Can you get me that number?” He and Arykah had worked past the Cartwright situation. It was no longer an issue.

  “I just don’t see how she could’ve gotten the time wrong. I mean, because of her mistake, the Cartwright family may feel that the church isn’t sympathetic about their loss.”

  Sssssssssss.

  Lance’s spiritual ear discerned a rattlesnake slithering in his presence. He watched Mother Gussie’s lips move.

  Sssssssssss. “If your wife isn’t capable of handling the simple things that a first lady should, then maybe you should rethink ...” Sssssssssss.

  Lance realized that Arykah had told the truth. She had been set up to fail. But he didn’t want to deal with Mother Gussie right then. Lance needed to wait for just the right moment to set her straight. Truth be told, Lance wanted to give Mother Gussie more rope to hang herself. The most important thing was that he and Arykah were now on the same page.

  “The Cartwrights are fine, Mother. At breakfast this morning, Cheeks, uh, Arykah came up with the perfect resolution. She thought it would be good if she and I both went to the Cartwrights and bring them breakfast for the entire family, and so we did. So, you can relax about the Cartwrights. They are good. Now, can you please get me the number to that flower shop?”

  At the same time Lance was on the phone placing Arykah’s flower order for delivery, Mother Gussie was at her desk, on the phone, whispering, “Pansie, you ain’t gonna believe this.”

  Chapter 5

  “Okay, what is so important that you couldn’t tell me over the telephone?” Monique asked Arykah as soon as she joined her in a booth at J. Alexander’s Restaurant. Arykah called Monique that morning and told her what Mother Gussie had done. Arykah had begged Monique to meet after work for dinner because Mother Gussie was getting on her last nerve and she needed to talk.

  “Do you realize that it’s rush hour and the traffic on the Dan Ryan and Eisenhower Expressway are no joke?”

  “Well, hello to you too, Ms. Thang. I ordered you a raspberry iced tea. The waiter will bring it in a minute.” Arykah looked at Monique’s turquoise Donna Karan blouse. “You look fab, dahling.” They had been shopping in Logan Square when Monique saw it hanging in a showcase window. Monique didn’t even blink at the $130 price tag attached to the sleeve. She had to have it.

  Monique adjusted herself comfortably in the booth, set her cellular phone on the vibrate mode, then laid it on the table. “I’m always fab. Adonis sends his love. When I told him that you were dragging me from the south side just to talk, he made a joke about us having Mother Gussie and Mother Pansie kidnapped.”

  Arykah didn’t respond to the joke. She was staring out of the window at a family of geese crossing the restaurant’s parking lot.

  “Uh, hello? I just sat in traffic for an hour at your request,” Monique fussed. “The very least you can do is talk to me.”

  Arykah looked at her. “That’s not a bad idea. I should’ve thought of it myself.”

  Monique frowned. “Am I supposed to know what you’re talking about? ’Cause I don’t.”

  “Kidnapping them.”

  Monique leaned back against the cushion. “You do know that was a joke, right?”

  Tears spilled out of Arykah’s eyes. Before Monique could address the tears, the waiter approached their table with their drinks and set them down. “Here you go, ladies.” He withdrew a notepad and pen from his apron pocket. “Can I get you started with an appetizer?”

  “Can you give us a few more minutes?” Monique asked.

  “Sure thing,” the waiter said, then excused himself.

  Monique opened her purse and pulled out a Kleenex tissue, then held it across the table for Arykah to take. “I know this is about what Mother Gussie did to you yesterday. Did you and Lance fall out over it?”

  Arykah took the tissue and dabbed the corners of her eyes. “We had words.”

  “Did he believe your story?”

  “I tried to convince Lance that she set me up, but he told me that I was being ridiculous. He said that he’d been relying on Mother Gussie for years, and she’d never let him down. One word led to another, and I just walked away from him.”

  “Wow. How did the two of you resolve things?”

  Just thinking about how Lance had struggled to carry her down the stairs last night made Arykah chuckle. “We ended on a good note. Lance wouldn’t let me go to bed angry. He distracted me from my anger.”

  Monique knew wha
t that meant. “He flipped you over?” Monique asked smiling.

  “Literally.”

  Monique cocked her head to the side. “Okay, then why are you crying? Everything is good, right?”

  Arykah exhaled. “No. Everything is not good, Monique. Just because we had sex doesn’t mean that Lance believed me over Mother Gussie. All he did was move past the issue. He swept it under the rug. That doesn’t cut it with me. That b*#@h lied, and I want Lance to know it.”

  Monique gasped, and her eyes bucked out of her head. She looked around to see if anyone else was within earshot of what Arykah had just said. Two Caucasian women sat three booths over. They were into their own conversation. It was early evening, and the restaurant was nearly empty. Monique leaned her torso over the table. “Look, I know you’re mad, but you gotta watch your loose lips. If a church member had been sitting at a nearby table and heard—”

  “Monique, do you really think I give a rat’s behind what a church member might hear me say? I ain’t sitting in Sunday service or Bible class. I’m on my own time.” Arykah rolled her eyes. “Heck, I can say whatever I wanna say.”

  “No, you can’t,” Monique corrected her. “I tell you time and time again that you have to be aware of your surroundings. You have to always be on guard, especially when you’re in public. And speaking of Bible class, why aren’t you there?” Although Monique was a faithful attendee at Sunday School, she wasn’t a regular member at Bible class. But she believed it was Arykah’s duty as the first lady of the church to be there.

  Arykah picked up her menu from the table and glanced at the entrees. “Girl, please. I wasn’t about to walk in the church and play nice. I’m tired of playing nice. It doesn’t benefit me at all.”

  “It does benefit you, Arykah. No one needs to see their first lady showing her behind.”

  “Humph. We’re dealing with black folks, and the majority of us only understand harsh language. I’ll only have to flip my weave one good time for those old broads to leave me alone.”

  The waiter was back at their table. “Have you decided ?”

  Monique ordered a half roasted chicken with garlic mash potatoes while Arykah opted for a full slab of barbecue ribs, french fries, and coleslaw. They both ordered slices of J. Alexander’s famous key lime pie and told the waiter to bring the dessert right away. The two of them were in the habit of eating their desserts before their main course was served.

  The waiter was back in two minutes with their pie.

  Monique inserted a forkful of pie in her mouth and moaned at how good it tasted.

  “This is why we’re fat, Arykah. Who besides us eats dessert first?”

  Arykah savored the delicious treat. “What difference does it make if we eat the pie now or after dinner? It’s still gonna land on our hips and thighs.”

  “I’ve gained ten pounds since we’ve been married,” Monique confessed.

  “And I’ve probably gain more than that. What’s your point?”

  “My point is that spring is approaching. It’s time to shed these pounds.”

  “Humph, you go ahead and do what you gotta do. I’m married to a chef and I like to eat, so I ain’t worried about it. You bought those Tae Bo exercise DVDs. Go home and work out.”

  Monique belched. “Chile, please. When I get through eating the only thing I wanna do is Tae Adonis.”

  The two best friends finished their meal making small talk about planning their next vacation before heading home to their husbands.

  Arykah was lying across the bed watching a movie on the Lifetime Channel when Lance entered the bedroom undoing his necktie. “Hey, Cheeks.”

  “Hi.”

  He walked to her side of the bed and knelt down to kiss his wife. Arykah connected her lips with his and got a whiff of his cologne. “You smell yummy.”

  “I missed you at Bible class,” Lance said as he turned toward his closet. “Did you have appointments this evening?”

  Arykah turned to lie on her back. “No. Monique and I met for dinner. I needed to vent.”

  Lance poked his head out of the closet and looked at her. “Vent about what? Did something happen at the realtor’s office today?”

  Arykah rolled her eyes. He’s so dumb, Lord. I asked You to change that. “I wanted to talk with her about what happened yesterday.”

  “Yesterday? You mean the Cartwright issue? Cheeks, I thought we got past that.”

  “Why? Because we made love last night? Lance, sex doesn’t change the fact that Mother Gussie lied, and you did nothing about it. I feel like I have to compete with your church members.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “My church members?”

  Arykah mimicked Lance and raised her eyebrows as well. “Well, heck, no one at Freedom Temple has accepted me as their first lady. They’re your members, Lance.”

  Lance didn’t want to inform Arykah just yet regarding his revelation about Mother Gussie earlier that day. He knew that Arykah would demand that she’d be fired from her position as church secretary, but Lance had a plan for both Mother Gussie and Mother Pansie. For now, Lance knew the best thing to do, at the moment, was to keep his wife’s enemies close. Eventually whatever the mothers were planning would blow up in both of their faces. He had to lay low and watch the snakes slither just a little bit longer.

  “Well, Cheeks, you haven’t exactly shown the congregation that you’re approachable. Every Sunday before the benediction is given, you and Monique grab your things and leave the sanctuary. In the four months that we’ve been married you have yet to stand with me to shake hands and fellowship with the people when they leave the sanctuary. You know I do that every Sunday.”

  Arykah knew that Lance was speaking the gospel truth. And it wasn’t that Arykah didn’t want to stand at her husband’s side and greet the members when service was over, but Arykah didn’t believe that she’d be welcomed. Oftentimes Arykah had walked through the church doors and saw members talking among themselves. When she spoke, she wasn’t acknowledged so she decided “to heck with them” then. She wouldn’t waste her breath or go out of her way to get anyone to talk to her. And it wasn’t the men who shunned Arykah; only the women. But right now talking with Lance, Arykah had an epiphany. She decided that she’d kill the ladies at Freedom Temple with kindness.

  “You know, honey. You’re right. You’re absolutely right about me not making myself approachable and friendly. So, from now on, I’ll stand with you after morning service and greet the people. And I’ll think of a perfect way to melt the ladies’ hearts.”

  Lance was pleased. “That’s great, Cheeks.”

  Arykah was sure that Mother Pansie and Mother Gussie had tainted her image with the women at Freedom Temple. But come Sunday morning, Arykah would change that. She’d be more engaged and be more inviting. She’d introduce herself to the women she had yet to meet. She’d follow Monique’s advice and put on a front. Arykah would stand next to her husband with a forced smile on her face and pretend as though she’s loving the moment like a dutiful first lady should.

  Chapter 6

  Saturday was upon Lance before he knew it. The morning of Justin Cartwright’s funeral, Lance sat behind his desk at the church wondering how he would eulogize him. Lance had never met Justin, and the only thing he knew of him was that he was a drug addict that had been found dead of an apparent overdose.

  With dead saints, Lance could celebrate the fact that they’ve gone on to be with the Lord in his eulogy. When Lance and Arykah visited the Cartwrights on Tuesday, Brother Cartwright had informed Lance that Justin held no interest in God whatsoever and lived the fast life earning fast money.

  To Lance, it was easy to preach about a dead person when they were saved and lived the life of a saint, but what could he say about a nonbelieving drug addict? Lance would just have to wing it and talk about the happy times of Justin’s life that Brother Cartwright shared with him.

  This would be a first for Lance. He had eulogized many people during his pastoral ministry, b
ut they’d all been church members. As he sat behind his desk, he prayed that when he stepped behind the podium, God would write on his tongue.

  “It’s open,” Lance responded when he heard a soft knock on his office door.

  Carlton Weeks, one of the associate ministers, poked his head inside. “Bishop, may I speak with you?”

  “Sure, Carlton. Come on in.”

  Carlton entered Lance’s office and closed the door behind him. He sat in a chair across from Lance’s desk with a weird expression on his face. “There’s something funky going on downstairs in the sanctuary, Bishop.”

  Lance frowned. “Funky how? Have the Cartwright family arrived?”

  Carlton twitched in his seat. “Um, yeah, um, see, Bishop, that’s what I came to talk to you about. The Cartwrights are here, but there are other people here too.”

  “Friends of Justin’s?”

  As if his necktie had been tied too tightly around his neck, Carlton pulled at it to loosen it up. He then pulled his handkerchief from his jacket pocket and dabbed at sweat beads that had begun to form on his forehead. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. Um, Bishop, how much do you know about Justin Cartwright?”

  Lance shrugged his shoulders while frowning at Carlton’s uneasiness. Carlton appeared to be on the verge of a stroke or heart attack.

  “Not much. I never met him,” Lance said. “Carlton, what is the matter with you? You’re losing all of the color in your face. Do you want me to call an ambulance?”

  Carlton wiped more sweat from his forehead and neck as well. “Nah, Bishop, I’m cool. But I gotta warn you about something before we head downstairs.”

  Lance was becoming impatient. “Well, spit it out.”

  Carlton searched for delicate words but couldn’t find any to describe the scene in the sanctuary. “There are men dressed as women sitting on the opposite side of the Cartwright family.” He rushed the words from his lips.

  Lance’s eyebrows rose; then he frowned. Carlton had spoken so fast, Lance was sure he hadn’t heard him correctly. He turned his left ear toward Carlton and connected eyes with him. “Say what?”