Touched By Him (The Untouched Series Book 3)

by Lilly Wilde

  There was an air of arrogance surrounding him, the one I’d seen on more than a few occasions, the one that exemplified the confidence and authority that I’d allowed to seduce me in the past. But not today—it made me want to run for the hills. “Okay, so exactly where do you see me fitting into this picture?”

  “In the same way I did before I found out about my son—not at all.”

  “Aiden, you know that’s out of the question. I’m his mother. I need to be with him. And there is the fact that he’s being breast-fed. Or have you made arrangements for that also?”

  I could see that he hadn’t anticipated that, but he quickly recalculated his plan. “You can pump and he can be bottle fed.”

  “And how would you get the milk? By messenger? Or maybe have one of your staff drop in for a supply? You’d do that? You’d be fine with that?”

  “You were fine with cutting me out completely. I think it’s a hell of a lot more generous than you were with me.”

  “This is all temporary until we can either get in court or come to some type of compromise. Kellan and I have been the only stability Lyric’s known and I would hate to think you’d be so vindictive that you would even attempt to take that away from him.”

  “You, and especially Kellan, can—” He broke off and shook his head in disbelief. “Just forget it, I’ve had enough. So, you’re suggesting we live together? Let’s do it. At least until you’ve had this day in court you seem to think will change everything.”

  I hated him. I fucking hated him. “When do we leave?”

  He glanced at his watch. “Within the next couple of hours.”

  I knew my next request wouldn’t be met favorably, but what did it really matter at this point? “I’d like for Kellan to come with us, too. Not to your place, of course, but back to the States. Is that going to be a problem?”

  Aiden looked at me, I mean really looked at me, for the first time since his arrival in Belize, and I saw the pain behind his bravado. I saw the misunderstanding, and I saw the betrayal, and something inside me shattered. “It won’t be a problem at all,” he responded dryly.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “I’d like to meet my son.”

  I didn’t know how to respond to him. This was the start of it all—this moment.

  “Now, Aria,” he demanded when I didn’t move. “I think I’ve waited long enough.”

  I took a deep breath. “I’ll get him.”

  I walked to the nursery and my heart broke when I saw Kellan sitting in the rocking chair with Lyric. He’d spent many nights with him when I’d been too exhausted to do much more than breathe. He’d assumed a role I thought he’d always have in Lyric’s life.

  Kellan looked up as I entered the room, and I could see his hurt. For the most part, we’d been quiet last night, never discussing what we knew this day would bring. He knew this would change everything—just as I did.

  “I’m guessing he wants to meet Lyric.”

  “Yes. I’m sorry, Kellan.”

  “It’s not a time for apologies. I only ask that you’re both taken care of and that you’re both happy. I’ll still be in your lives—only you or I can change that.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that.” He was such a good man. I hated this for him. “Would you like to take him to Aiden?”

  “It may be best if you do it.”

  “Why don’t we do it together?” I knew Aiden would hate it, but I couldn’t just strip Lyric from Kellan’s arms and carry him off to Aiden.

  “Sure.”

  Kellan and I walked into the kitchen and saw that Aiden had moved to the living room. He was standing near the window. Was he looking at the same tree that I sat underneath every day? The tree that allowed me to think and sometimes imagine a future that I now knew could never be?

  It was quiet, with the exception of Lyric’s cooing. Aiden turned from the window, and his expressionless face transformed into a scowl when he saw Kellan holding Lyric. Kellan walked over to him, and Aiden’s eyes slowly reached the tiny bundle in Kellan’s arms. It was the first semblance of a smile I’d seen on Aiden’s face.

  Kellan passed Lyric to Aiden. “Careful. You’ll need to cradle his head,” Kellan said.

  Aiden didn’t reply. His gaze was fixed on the little person in his arms. Did Aiden see himself when he looked at Lyric? Did he see his eyes in Lyric’s eyes?

  “Wow,” Aiden breathed. He was lost in his son, his eyes darting all over him with absolute amazement.

  “Aiden, this is Lyric,” I said. “Your son.”

  “He’s perfect,” he said in a low whisper.

  “I’ll let you guys have some time alone,” Kellan said.

  “Kellan, you don’t have to—” I started.

  “No, I do.” He squeezed my hand and gradually released it. I stared after him as he exited the room. I felt horrible for him.

  “Hey, little guy. I’m your dad.” Aiden’s voice broke, and my eyes stung with tears.

  “Aria, he’s beautiful,” he said. He looked up at me and for a few seconds, we exchanged the happiness of two parents marveling in their child.

  I took a seat next to them, just in case Aiden needed help. He was so gentle with Lyric, handling him as if he might break. I watched the awe play out on Aiden’s face as he traced his finger along the baby’s cheek. He appeared to be completely fascinated by his son. Aiden grasped Lyric’s tiny hand and smiled when he encircled his large finger with his tiny ones. Lyric soon started to cry and I showed Aiden how to calm him. He settled down, and Aiden continued to study him. My heart melted when he lifted the baby and kissed his forehead.

  Lyric eventually fell asleep in Aiden’s arms. And even after that, he held him for quite a while, watching him sleep. I’d pictured Aiden holding Lyric a thousand times, but I could never get it quite right in my head. The thought that he wouldn’t want a child always clouded my view. But seeing him holding Lyric, it all seemed right. Even in an exquisitely tailored three piece suit, Aiden seemed to fit far better than I would have thought. Had I been wrong? Would he have been happy about my pregnancy? About being a father?

  I sat and watched in amazement as Aiden acquainted himself with his son. Then I thought about Kellan, who was preparing himself to walk away from Lyric. One man was saying goodbye to a life he thought he’d have. And another was saying hello to a life he never imagined. And then there was me, the person who’d caused the mess of emotion and loss for all of us.

  Chapter Three

  The silence was deafening. We were situated on different sides of the room, like two opposing teams awaiting the outcome of a verdict. There were no further words to be spoken. There was only time and it was quickly running out.

  The lab was sending the results to my house by messenger and now we were all seated in my living room. Robin and Aiden’s attorney spoke for a few brief moments, and after that, silence. Aiden didn’t say anything to me and I said nothing to him. We did exchange occasional glares, and whenever it appeared as though his glower had softened, he’d glance at Kellan and then Aiden’s scorching gaze reappeared.

  I wondered what he would say after hearing the results. Was he planning to grab Lyric and rush out with him as soon as the news was official? Did he really intend for me to live with him in Chicago? There was no way that would work. Surely he knew that as well as I, so what was his end game?

  The doorbell rang, putting an end to the stream of anxious thoughts. The information that would change the paths of several lives was on the other side of a door I didn’t want to open. I wanted to grab Lyric and run. I wanted Lyric to be safe from a childhood that his dad had suffered, a childhood that I’d suffered. But all of that was out of my hands now. I willed myself toward the door and opened it to reveal what I’d dreaded—the beginning of a very different life.

  “A parcel for Aria Cason.” It was an employee of Menudos Labs.

  “That’s me.”

  “I’ll need to see some identification, ma’am.”
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  “That’s right. Give me a second.” After retrieving my purse, I pulled out my license. The guy looked at it and then extended a tablet and a stylus. My hand trembled so much when I scribbled my signature that I had to sign it twice.

  Passing the envelope to me, he said, “Have a good day, ma’am.” And that was it. He headed back to his day. Now I had to turn around and face mine.

  My hands were still jittering as I looked at the envelope. Closing the door, I fast forwarded to the next ten minutes. I knew I’d be leaving my life in Belize far behind. I was angry at Aiden for inserting himself into Lyric’s life like this. As I considered what was about to happen, I was absolutely livid and damn near screamed. I clamped my palm over my mouth and swallowed the rage that I knew would get me nowhere with Aiden.

  I held the envelope up when I stepped into the living room. “The moment we’ve all been waiting for.” My eyes briefly locked with Kellan’s as I took a deep breath and passed the envelope to Robin. She quickly scanned the letter and then looked at me. I nodded, and she read aloud the results we all expected.

  Everything happened so quickly after that. Robin gave me some last minute legal advice and Aiden’s team lobbied around him, whispering and glancing at me. I rushed to the nursery once Robin had left. Lyric was awake, lying quietly as he sucked his fingers.

  Well this is it, little guy. We’re going to your new home. I’ll protect you with everything in me—I promise.

  Aiden entered the nursery carrying a small leather tote. He requested I dress Lyric in one of the outfits from the bag. Did he think he’d be the final authority on how I dressed my son? Did he intend to eliminate my choices? I came quite close to telling him to shove the bag up his ass, but thought better of it when I considered Robin’s advice. As I reached for the satchel, Aiden looked down at Lyric. I saw the same tenderness on his face I’d witnessed earlier. Then he looked up at me and, just like that, he’d reapplied his ice-cold veneer.

  This is what I have to look forward to. This is going to be so many levels of hell.

  Aiden said we’d be leaving within the hour and left me alone to dress Lyric and grab a few last minute things. An hour—and my time was up. That was all I had left to say goodbye. I dressed Lyric and noticed how quiet he was. It was as if he sensed I needed as much calm as possible.

  As I double-checked one of Lyric’s bags, I started to space out. This was it—I was leaving Belize. I was saying goodbye to all the plans of a life with Lyric and Kellan. Lyric and I would have a new home. I didn’t know how this could work. As a matter of fact, I knew it wouldn’t.

  Kellan declined the offer to fly back with us. He felt distance was best, given Aiden’s new role in our lives. I knew Kellan was right and I knew his family would be pleased about his return to New York, but what about me? Would he continue to be a part of my life as he’d said?

  Kellan was the ideal man for any woman. He was intelligent, successful and extremely attractive. He had a great sense of humor, he was loyal, very protective, and he was safe. He gave me the sense of stability that I needed—that I knew Lyric would need. Yes, he was the ideal man for any woman—any woman except me.

  He’d said no man would ever stand a chance with me until I’d broken my emotional ties to Aiden. I knew he was right and quite honestly, I didn’t know if those were ties that would ever break. Kellan deserved far better than I could ever give to him. I knew that and that knowledge was what allowed me to rescind any claim I had to him.

  It was terribly painful to watch Kellan say goodbye to Lyric. I stood behind him and looked on as he told Lyric to be a good boy for me. Lyric’s eyes were wide and attentive—focused on Kellan’s face. Kellan kissed his cheek and passed him to me and then he left us alone.

  Looking around the room, I thought back to the many late nights I’d sat in the rocking chair, and to the nights I’d walked in and found Kellan asleep in the chair next to Lyric’s crib. There were mornings when we just sat holding him, or days when we walked along the beach, holding hands and making plans for the future—a future that would never be.

  I’d kept a blog of my time in Belize. It started out as a way to chronicle my pregnancy and Lyric’s birth. I was glad I had done that. The memories of the last several months would always be special for me. Perhaps one day, when I was in a happier place, I could look back at them.

  I placed Lyric in his crib and changed from my tropical island attire in preparation for the harsh cold I’d surely encounter in Chicago.

  Lyric was dressed in his first gift from his father—white footie pajamas with blue music symbols. There was also a tiny matching cap. They were a little too big, but he was so adorable that it didn’t matter. Aiden had also included a beautiful matching blanket. I wondered if he’d selected those items himself or if he’d told Brooklyn, his personal assistant, exactly what he wanted and she made the purchase. Either way, I knew it was special for Aiden—another bit of information that added to my confusion regarding his feelings of being a father.

  When I walked out of my bedroom, Aiden was waiting for us. I placed Lyric in the carrier and Aiden took him to the car. Kellan was nowhere in sight. I’d written a letter for him, expressing my gratitude and apologizing. I hoped he could one day be happy with someone who really deserved him. I placed the letter on the table and wiped a tear from my cheek. After taking one final glance at my home, I closed the door to my life in Belize.

  * * * * *

  We were at the airport preparing to board when I looked up and spotted Kellan. A surge of relief soared through me. “Oh my God! Kellan, you changed your mind!” I ran into his arms and buried my face against his shoulder. He embraced me, holding me tightly. A few moments later, he released me and stepped back.

  “No, I haven’t changed my mind. I’m staying here to tie up some loose ends.”

  My heart sank. “Then I don’t understand. Why are you here, and how did you get past security?”

  “My name was on the passenger list. I guess Raine didn’t have his people update it. And I’m here to give you this. It’s the reason I left the house earlier. I know how much you love them.”

  I glanced at the bag of Belizean chocolates. “Thank you.” I’d started eating them during the last month of my pregnancy, and Kellan kept bags of them stashed in hiding places so I wouldn’t over consume. “I do love these, but you know I don’t need them. They only lead to more workouts.”

  “Sometimes what we love and what we need aren’t the same things, but we indulge anyway.”

  I knew he wasn’t referring to the chocolates. I stared into his beautiful brown eyes, and with everything in me, I longed to tell him what he wanted to hear, but the words wouldn’t come.

  “I would have fought for you had I thought there was a chance I’d win your heart. Aiden is an arrogant jerk, but he has a hold on you that I don’t think you’ll ever shake. So I’m letting you go.”

  “I don’t want it to be this way.”

  “I know you don’t.”

  I placed my palm on his cheek. He was such an amazing man.

  “You and I were overly optimistic. We wanted something we thought would come in time. Truth is, it would have never been right. And I know you realize that.”

  I did. As amazing as Kellan was, my feelings wouldn’t change. We’d never be anything more than we were at this present moment, but I had wanted to try. I had really hoped that in time, my feelings for Aiden would fade.

  “Don’t cry.” He wiped a tear from my cheek and cradled my face. “You know I love you.”

  “I do. And I love you, too.”

  “I hate to break up whatever this is, but we have a plane waiting.” Aiden had walked up behind us.

  Kellan’s expression became rigid and then he turned to face Aiden. “Raine, I’d love to do nothing more than knock that smug look off your face.”

  “I’d love to see you try,” Aiden challenged.

  “Please! Can you two stop? Aiden, can you for once stop being an ass?
This is difficult enough without your goading. I’m coming, I just need one minute. Can you at least give me that?”

  Aiden casted a contemptuous glance toward Kellan and then slowly turned away and headed back to the plane.

  I reached for the bag of chocolates. “I’ll call you once I get settled. I left a note for you on the table. I hope you’ll respond.”

  Kellan nodded and smiled.

  “Goodbye, Kellan.”

  He pulled me toward him, lifted my chin and brought his lips to mine. It was a slow, tender kiss. It was a kiss that confirmed his feelings for me. It was a kiss that communicated with his mouth what he didn’t have the heart to say aloud—it was his final goodbye.

  * * * * *

  I stepped onto the plane, and Aiden delivered another blow when he announced that Anja would be joining us for the flight to Chicago. He’d hired her as one of Lyric’s nannies. His team had already verified her references and run background checks. She’d worked as a pediatric nurse for several years, prior to her working with Menudos Labs. She’d been discussing her resignation and relocation to the States with Pauline, the nanny Aiden had brought along with him from Chicago. Aiden had been privy to the conversation, so he offered her a position, which she quickly accepted.

  I stared at him, too enraged to say anything, but I fully intended to make my opinion known. This only confirmed my earlier suspicions. Did he actually think I would go along with this? Was this his idea of co-parenting—making unilateral decisions? Was he doing this to show me how it felt to be excluded from choices involving Lyric? Or maybe this was his mother’s brainchild. I couldn’t believe he would want nannies for our son, especially when he’d been damaged by his lack of interaction with his own parents.

  Maybe I was jumping the gun. A nanny had been his plan before he knew I’d be coming back to Chicago with him. But he had one, so why hire a second? Would she travel with him? Would one nanny remain in Chicago and the other travel around the country with him? Was he planning to trot the globe with Lyric and the nanny? Surely he knew I wasn’t going to let that happen.