Gone Too Far

by Angela Winters

  Janet placed her hand on his chest. “I’ll talk to Kimberly again. I think she’s the way that we can—”

  “You’ve been talking to Kimberly? Since when and why would she help? She hates us.”

  “Things change,” Janet said.

  “You putting your faith in Kimberly,” Steven said. “That’s more change than I’m willing to believe in.”

  “It will take time,” Janet said. “But we’ll be there for Michael. We won’t interfere. You won’t be his boss. You’ll be his father, and when he figures out things with Kimberly, you’ll be there when he’s ready to come back.”

  “You sound like Carter.” Steven laughed. “You realize that his figuring this whole thing out is likely to include Kimberly coming back into the fold. Can you deal with that?”

  Janet let out a deep sigh. “I’m tired of fighting. I just want our children to be happy. If Michael’s happiness—if his return to Chase Beauty—requires Kimberly to be in our lives again, then I’ll be fine with it.”

  Janet wanted desperately to believe what she was saying, and when Steven leaned across to kiss her on the lips, she promised that she would pray for it to be true. Something inside of her told her that her family was at a turning point. It wasn’t just Haley’s threat to leave or Michael’s quitting Chase Beauty. It was about Steven finding out his brother had just tried to destroy him. It was about Carter ending his engagement to Julia. It was about Leigh dating a man who could put the Chase name in the limelight more than ever before. A limelight that, in its current state, this family was simply not strong enough to stand in.

  13

  As soon as Avery opened the front door to the Jackson home, Connor began jumping in her father’s arms. She was screaming for her mother to look at the tiny stuffed elephant in her hand.

  “Wow,” Avery said, feigning excitement. “That’s amazing. A new toy from Daddy…again.”

  Avery looked at Carter, who shrugged and smiled. They had argued often about how Carter bought Connor too many toys and gave in to her every demand.

  “I felt bad,” Carter said as he entered the house. “I can’t bring her to Evan’s homecoming party, so I bought her a stuffed animal.”

  “She doesn’t know you can’t bring her there.”

  The second Carter placed her on the floor, Connor waddled into the living room and sat on the floor, playing with her elephant while her parents stayed in the foyer.

  “They aren’t here,” Avery said as she watched Carter look around the house. “You’re in luck.”

  “I’m not afraid of your family,” Carter said.

  “Please,” Avery said. “You can’t fool me.”

  “I just prefer not to have someone answer the door with a loaded gun in their hand.”

  “Daddy hasn’t done that in almost six months.”

  “That isn’t something you forget,” Carter said.

  “Give him a kiss for me,” Avery said.

  Kiss? Carter was sure he’d heard her wrong. “Kiss? What?”

  “Evan,” Avery said, laughing. “Kiss Evan for me, please.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Carter felt stupid and awkward. Now that he had let go of his animosity for her, Carter was back to the way it used to be. Avery made him nervous. She was the only woman he had ever met in his life who could make him nervous.

  “I wanted to give you this.” Carter reached into his pocket and took out a business card. “Charles Elysian is one of the best divorce lawyers in the country.”

  “Then I can’t afford him,” Avery said.

  “You can,” Carter said. “I mean, he won’t…He’ll be somewhat reasonable.”

  “Because you’re paying him?” Avery asked, shocked by his altruistic gesture.

  “Will you take it?” Carter asked, holding the card out.

  “No,” Avery answered. “I’ve already contacted a lawyer who I can afford. She’s very good.”

  “Who is she?” Carter asked. “I know the best lawyers in—”

  “Carter.” Avery held up a hand to stop him. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m trying not to be the same asshole I’ve been for the last almost nine months.” Carter stuffed the card back into his pocket, frustrated. “I know that some legal referral isn’t going to make up for the way I’ve been acting, but I thought—”

  “You don’t have to do anything to make it up, Carter,” she said. “You just have to stop doing it.”

  “I have.”

  Avery couldn’t help but feel hopeful. It might have been a mistake, but her heart urged her to believe him. “Then we’re good.”

  “You can’t tell me you don’t hate me after all I’ve done,” Carter said.

  “I’ve never hated you,” Avery said. “I told you that. I love you, Carter. I always have.”

  “Avery.” Carter backed away from her as if it could halt the emotion that her words were bringing on. “Don’t do this.”

  “Don’t do what?” she asked.

  “I have to go,” he said, ignoring her question. “Good luck with…with your lawyer.”

  “Don’t you walk away from me,” Avery ordered as he turned.

  Carter turned back around. Was she giving him an order? “I can do whatever I want. I tried to help you and you didn’t want it.”

  “Would you prefer that I hate you?” Avery asked. “You seem so uncomfortable with the opposite.”

  “You call me the callous one,” he said, “but you’re the one who never cared about how much it hurt to hear you tell me you love me and then go back home to your husband.”

  “I knew it hurt,” Avery said. “How do you think I felt knowing you were sleeping with Julia every night? I told you I loved you because I couldn’t stand you not knowing.”

  “Why?” Carter asked. “So it could hurt more?”

  “I thought it would make it hurt less,” Avery said. “You’re the one who wanted to hurt me more, but I still love you.”

  “Stop. I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “Is that why you didn’t tell me about Julia?” Avery asked. “You seemed offended that I didn’t tell you I left Anthony, but you didn’t mention Julia to me.”

  “It’s public knowledge,” Carter said. “Besides, you don’t give a damn.”

  “You know that isn’t true,” she asserted. “This whole vendetta you’ve had against me is because you knew that I gave a damn.”

  “Well, that’s over,” Carter said. “None of it matters anymore.”

  “You’re wrong.” Avery was surprising herself with what her heart was telling her to say, but she couldn’t hold it in. “It will never be over between us, and I’m not just talking about Connor. I will always love you, and I think you’ll always love me.”

  Carter was shaking his head. “What good can come from you saying this?”

  “Because we have to stop pretending it isn’t true,” Avery said. “I’m fine on my own. I can do this now. I can be a mother to Connor and try to build something with my life without you, but I will always love you.”

  “Stop.” Carter felt his chest tightening. She was making this impossible.

  Avery stepped closer to him. “I know you’ve made up your mind about me, and I know that’s my fault. When you love someone, you should be with them. I tried, but—”

  “Avery, please don’t cry.” Carter knew he was going to lose it if she started tearing up. He had to get away from her. “I can’t take it. It’s too much. It hurts too much to see you cry, to see you with someone else, to see you standing there and not be able to…”

  “Touch me?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he answered. “Not being able to touch you because I’m so sick and tired of waiting for you to hurt me again.”

  Avery looked away, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I know, and that is why I never hated you.”

  “A part of me died inside when you left me that first time,” Carter said. “Even though I deserved it. Then you came back and rejected me again. It
killed me to have to watch you be a wife to someone else. Then you came back to me, and we were going to be a family. I had been waiting so long for that to happen. I tried to be patient, and my dreams, what I thought were our dreams, were coming true.”

  “Then I left you again,” Avery said.

  Carter paused, looking away. He hadn’t wanted to do this, but he couldn’t stop now.

  “You have no idea how much that destroyed me. It killed a part of me. Everything that has happened in these past few months has shown that I have to get over it. I have to grow up and move on. I’m doing it for myself and especially for Connor. I will not set myself up for this pain again. It isn’t worth it.”

  “What isn’t worth it?” Avery asked. “Me? Us? Do you remember what it was like?”

  “Of course I remember.”

  “No,” Avery said. “I’m not talking about a couple of months ago or last year. I’m talking about before I left and before all this madness started. Do you remember that?”

  Carter didn’t answer, afraid he’d be unable to control what he might say. He felt himself losing the grip on his emotions and was helpless to stop it.

  “You do,” Avery said. “I can tell that you do. That, Carter, is that not worth it?”

  Carter looked down at his feet. “No, it isn’t.”

  Avery didn’t think she was strong enough to hear that. She wanted to drop to her knees but couldn’t. “I understand. I do, but I want you to know that if you ever decide it might be, I will be here.”

  Carter didn’t have time to protest before she approached him and took his face in both her hands. He could have protested when she pulled his face down to hers, but he didn’t. The taste of her lips sent a sweet current of pleasure through him, but he knew he had to be stronger than this.

  “Please, Avery.” Carter separated himself from her, taking a few steps away. “I have to go.”

  Avery stood in the foyer for a few minutes after he left, trying to regain her composure before walking into the living room. Connor wasn’t paying her any attention as she shared her focus between the elephant and the baseball game on TV.

  “It’s me and you, baby,” she whispered as she sat on the sofa. “It’s just me and you, and we’ll be okay.”

  They had to be, Avery thought. She only prayed that someday she would be able to get beyond the regrets of everything that cost her the love of her life and be satisfied with the memories of what they once had. She didn’t see it happening, but she had to hope for her own sanity and for Connor.

  Leigh had just grabbed her keys and was opening her bedroom door when she came face-to-face with Janet, poised to knock.

  “Morning, sweetheart.” Janet smiled, lowering her hand. “On your way out?”

  “I have to go to the clinic,” Leigh answered. “I’m sorry, Mother. I am very busy.”

  Janet stepped aside as Leigh passed her. From her daughter’s mood, Janet knew she was right to suspect something had gone wrong in D.C. She hurried after her.

  “Can I talk to you before you leave?” Janet asked.

  “I’m not really in the mood.” Leigh kept walking.

  “It will only be a few seconds,” Janet added.

  “You have until however long it takes me to reach the front door.” The last thing Leigh wanted right now was a heart-to-heart. She wanted to focus on putting together her protest group and getting started.

  “It isn’t fair to walk at cougar speed.” Janet sped up to keep pace with her daughter as they hurried down the west-wing hallway. “I am twice your age.”

  Leigh stopped and turned to her mother with a curious smile. “This must be serious. You just gave away your age. You only do that when you’re panicked.”

  “So I’m thirty-nine,” Janet said. “Big deal.”

  Leigh smiled. “Thanks for the laugh, Mom, but I have to go.”

  “Did something go wrong between you and the senator?” Janet stayed side by side with Leigh as they traveled down the stairs.

  “There is no me and the senator,” Leigh responded.

  “I figured as much.”

  Leigh stopped as she reached the bottom of the staircase. “I’ll probably regret asking, but why?”

  “When the driver who was to take you to the airport checked in, he said you’d changed the pickup location from an apartment on Capitol Hill to the Mayflower Hotel.”

  Leigh rolled her eyes.

  “And before you start in on me,” Janet added, “I didn’t check. He volunteered the information, because hotel pickups have a different fee.”

  “I decided to sleep at a hotel.” Leigh started for the door, trying not to think about how badly things had gone the previous night.

  While Max had followed her out of his parents’ home, they continued to argue in the car over what had taken place. After Leigh told him to drop her off at the hotel, not another word was spoken.

  “That,” Janet said, “as well as your mood and refusal to discuss your dinner with the senator’s parents would tip even the worst of sleuths.”

  “Stop sleuthing, Mother!” Leigh opened one of the large French doors to the front of the house. “This thing with Max isn’t going to happen.”

  “Oh, Leigh, I only ask because this is such an opportunity and—”

  “You sound like his mother,” Leigh said. “You’d both get along very well, and that is not a compliment. A relationship is not an opportunity. Do you want me to be like Haley and marry for something other than love?”

  “Why do the two have to be mutually exclusive?” Janet held out her arm to prevent her daughter from leaving. “You know what I think, Leigh? I think you’ve fought so long to not be the privileged little princess with a perfectly preplanned life that you’re willing to deny yourself something that you genuinely want and that could make you happy just because you know it would fit into that plan.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Leigh said, even though she knew it wasn’t.

  “Do you love this man?” Janet asked.

  Leigh reluctantly said, “Yes, I think I do.”

  “You think you do?” Janet asked. “I didn’t raise wimps. Do you love this man or not?”

  Leigh nodded.

  “So you’re willing to forgo a chance for happiness that, let’s face it, you damn well deserve, just because you know it’s what superficial high-society schemers like myself would exactly want for you?”

  “Mom, you don’t know how much pressure this all is.”

  Janet laughed out loud. “What are you, new? I’ve been living under that pressure since the day I was born. Unlike you, I loved it. I wanted to live up to all of it, except for one thing.”

  “Marrying Daddy?” Leigh asked. She had known that Dad’s middle-class upbringing made him fall short of what her grandparents had planned for her mother.

  “I still married the man I wanted and turned out as my parents expected. The truth is, like it or not, you’re a Chase and you will always be around people who have expectations of you that you may or may not like. You can’t let your desire to prove you aren’t ruled by it keep you from being happy. Even if it is my dream, or his mother’s dream, to see you two married and him in the Governor’s Mansion, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be a real dream that you would want for yourself even if nobody else wanted it.”

  “So what are you telling me to do, Mother?”

  Janet gently touched her daughter’s cheek. “I’m telling you to do what I want you to, but you better do what you want to and nothing else.”

  “Please, Mommy, please, please, please.”

  Kimberly looked down at Evan as he lay back in the lounge chair. He had already thrown the small blanket she had put over his legs onto the ground. “We aren’t going over this again. You aren’t strong enough to swim.”

  Evan pouted, looking over at the pool in his backyard where his brother, who was the best swimmer in his age set at the country club, waded while tossing a ball in the air.

  “Then he h
as to get out.”

  “Daniel can swim as long as he wants.” Kimberly walked around the lounge chair to the other side and picked up the blanket. “You keep this on or you go back inside.”

  “I don’t need it.” Evan pushed at the blanket as Kimberly tried to place it over him. “I’m not cold. I’m not a baby and I don’t—”

  “Listen to your mother,” Michael said as he stepped onto the back patio.

  Kimberly found herself smiling at the sight of Michael because of the timing of his appearance. She had been thinking about him, because he was the missing link. She was sitting on her back porch, smiling at one son in the pool and thankful to God for the other sitting next to her. The only thing missing was her husband, and, God help her, she wanted him there. And now he was.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “I need to talk to you.” As he approached her, Michael made an attempt to read her face but decided not to bother. She was a different woman now. He just didn’t know her well enough anymore to be able to predict her mood.

  Evan turned around in his chair. “Daddy, can I swim?”

  “No.” Michael leaned over and kissed his son on the forehead. “Mommy will know when it’s time to swim again.”

  As his son moaned his displeasure, Michael turned to Kimberly. “Can we have a little privacy?”

  “Marisol isn’t here tonight.” Kimberly looked toward the pool. “I don’t want to leave them unattended.”

  “You don’t have to.” Michael walked toward the house and stood in the patio doorway. He looked back and waved Kimberly over.

  Kimberly walked over cautiously. “What is going on, Michael?”

  Before she could think, Michael took her in his arms and kissed her desperately on the lips. When he pulled away, the look of her, breathless, filled him with the confidence he needed. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore.”

  “Michael, I—”

  “Please,” he said, “let me tell you why. Everything has been my fault.”

  “That isn’t necessary,” Kimberly said. “I told you that I’ve let go of my anger and have forgiven you for everything.”