Locked and Loaded

by HelenKay Dimon

  Adam felt the conversation spinning out of control. “I don’t think—”

  David cut him off. “Which is why I’ll personally get her tomorrow.”

  ADAM WALKED FAST, but Luke caught up. He matched strides as they neared the elevator. Before Adam could hit the button, Luke stepped in front of him.

  “Are you really going to let her go?” Luke asked.

  Adam couldn’t take this. Not now. He’d fought with Maddie and spent a silent breakfast ignoring her chatter when Zach showed up with doughnuts.

  Now Luke. He was one of the people Adam respected most in the world. Their bond ran deep and Adam feared losing it.

  “She’s not Claire.”

  “I’m not sure what that means, but you’re right. Maddie is her own person, with baggage and an attitude and a threat on her life that would destroy most people.”

  Adam didn’t need a list of her virtues or her troubles. He loved her. He didn’t understand her worth a damn and was sick with thinking she wouldn’t be there when he got back, but he loved her. He made Zach promise to watch her, but that was no guarantee.

  Adam glared at Luke. “Your point?”

  “She’s not easy.”

  No kidding. She’d nearly killed him when she put on her clothes and fumbled her way down the steps to get away from him. She proved she’d rather handle the pain than talk to him.

  Adam noticed Luke kept staring at him. “I’m still not following you.”

  “She’s complicated, but…”

  “What?” Adam snapped.

  “I’ve never seen another woman who could handle you. Who walked by and had you panting.”

  Adam turned around and leaned his back against the wall. “That’s not the basis for a relationship.”

  “I’m impressed you can say that word.”

  Adam closed his eyes, but when he opened them again none of his problems had disappeared. “You’re not funny.”

  “You ever wonder why you find her so attractive?” Luke laughed. “And don’t give me that look. My investigative skills are pretty good and you haven’t been subtle about your feelings. I was in that room when you untied her. I saw both of you and that wasn’t just respect happening there.”

  “She’s beautiful.”

  Luke frowned. “That’s it? It’s that simple for you? She looks good?”

  “Yes.” Adam’s stomach rolled on the lie.

  Luke’s eyes narrowed. He looked like a prosecutor moving in for the kill on a witness. “So, you don’t care if she leaves.”

  “That’s different. She’s not ready.”

  Luke hit the elevator button. “Honestly, man. You’re the one who’s not ready.”

  “Meaning?”

  “She’s way ahead of you and I’m hoping like hell you catch up before it’s too late.”

  MADDIE DIDN’T NEED a suitcase because she didn’t own a single material possession. No clothes. No house. Every item that held a memory had been taken long ago. She’d burned her photographs. The items she’d collected since being renamed Maddie were back in West Virginia and she’d never be going there again.

  She’d probably end up in Kentucky or somewhere out west. Her first name would likely still start with an M because that was the protocol. She had secretarial skills and could cook. She hoped they could find her a job doing one of those.

  She dropped to the bed with Adam’s shirt in her hands. Lifting it to her face, she inhaled his distinct scent. She was wrong. She had something to take with her: a broken heart and an abandoned shirt.

  “What are you doing?” Adam’s deep voice was as sensual as a caress.

  It had the power to crush her common sense and change all her plans. He had no idea how much he meant to her or how easy it would be for him if he just opened his heart to her.

  She stood up and wadded the shirt in a ball behind her back. “Packing.”

  “I guess my question is why.” He walked over and didn’t stop until he stood right in front of her.

  His hand slipped behind her back and gently pulled her arm forward. He stared down at his blue shirt.

  She shoved it at his chest and walked over to the small bureau across from the end of the bed. Nothing in the drawers belonged to her, but she needed space. She busied her hands with the comb and brush sitting on top.

  Avery had bought them for her. Maddie realized that every time she had a need, someone close to Adam filled it. She looked up into his green eyes.

  Except for one.

  “It’s time for me to go.” Her voice cracked, but she forced the sentence out.

  He shook his head. “It’s not safe.”

  Leave it to him to think about the logistics and rescue aspects. “Oh, Adam. I haven’t been safe for a long time.”

  “What if I told you I didn’t want you to go?”

  Her insides whirled. She tamped down the hope sparked by his words. “I’d ask you why.”

  “That’s not very romantic.”

  He was killing her by inches. Just when she erected a wall against him, he broke through and opened another breach.

  Rather than let hope build, she sought to squash it. “I’m waiting for the look of panic to come over you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You have it now.” She leaned back against the dresser and pointed at his handsome face.

  “I’ve had a hard time figuring out why a woman without a past would care about mine.” He closed in on her until he pinned her against the dresser and he stood between her legs.

  “I don’t care about school mascots and first kisses,” she said. “That’s not what I’m talking about, but I give up trying to explain it.”

  “Good, because none of that has anything to do with who I am now or what I want from life.” She sighed, trying to ease the tightness in her chest. “I’m serious.”

  “I was good at two things as a kid. They were skills as far apart as you can imagine. Football and computers. One kept me inside and the other took me out.”

  She was almost afraid to say anything. She didn’t want him to stop talking. But he just stood there, so close and so tempting, with a smile on his face. “I bet only one of those made you popular.”

  He winked. “I did okay.”

  She loved this side of him. The joking and fun side. It was bittersweet to experience it now when the end was in sight.

  “I went to college on a football scholarship but spent most of my time on computers and chasing girls. Not two things that usually go together, I know. But having the jersey helped with the latter.”

  Imagining a younger version of him made her smile.

  “And lucky for me, my school didn’t care much about my grades or class attendance so long as I made tackles, so I could practice my hacking skills and skip science classes.”

  He straightened up and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. The gentle touch set off fireworks in her stomach. She dared to hope his willingness to share his past meant something, but she dreaded being wrong again.

  “I honed my computer skills but not as much as I thought. Senior year I got nabbed by the FBI.”

  If he did cartwheels down the stairs she would have been less stunned. “What?”

  “You know what the Defense Mapping Agency is?”

  “No.”

  “Well, the folks in charge there don’t like it when you get into their computer security system and change their passwords.” His fingers massaged the back of her neck.

  The touch soothed her battered nerves. “You were arrested?”

  “Almost, but I ended up with a job offer, a steady income and the ability to pay rent instead. Part of some program where the FBI enlisted hackers, tried to make us good citizens while they used our skills.”

  Every piece formed a picture of who he was and why. Knowing this meant everything to her.

  But she needed to know that sharing it all meant something to him. “Why are you talking now?”

  He kissed her the
n, soft and short. His lips pressed against hers then left before she could pull him in deeper. “Because, Margaret, we all have a past.”

  If she hadn’t loved him already she would have fallen forever in love with him right then. “You remembered.”

  “Of course.”

  “I wish you could, but you can’t call me that,” she whispered against his mouth.

  “I prefer Maddie anyway. The point is that I understand there’s more to you than a simple name. You are complex and fierce.”

  Tears rushed to the back of her eyes.

  “Will you let me know more? Let me know all of you?” She really wanted a future, but the road there ran through the past.

  When he brushed his thumb over her lips instead of answering, she held her breath. The halfway point was right in front of him. She just needed him to take the mental step.

  “After my fiancée died in a car crash caused by a drunk driver, I left the desk job for one that carried a gun. I wanted to fight and save and put away anyone who broke the law.”

  Maddie felt only sadness about his incredible loss. It explained so much about the walls he erected. “I’m sorry.”

  “It was years ago.”

  “But it’s part of who you are and what shapes you.” Part of what she loved most, that capacity to give comfort and excitement at the same time.

  She’d been so convinced he didn’t feel, that very little touched him. Knowing he’d lost a fiancée made her see she’d been wrong. He felt and lost and feared his life playing out that way again.

  She understood. She didn’t bury a love. She lost herself. It was a different kind of trauma.

  “Rod gave me a chance when he handed me a weapon. I don’t know what’s happening with him now or where he went, but I’ll always be thankful that he made that note in his file that brought me to you.”

  “Adam.” She put her hands on his face and repeated the words that had killed everything before. “I never dealt drugs.”

  He turned one of her hands and kissed her palm. “I know.”

  His words, so clear and strong, rang through her. “I… Since when? You didn’t trust me before.”

  He did now. He shook with the intensity of it and made her believe.

  “Some part of me always knew.” He licked a sensual path around her palm. “The rest of me denied.”

  “Why?”

  “If you were everything you appeared to be—smart and beautiful and honest and strong—then I wouldn’t have any defense against you. I fought it until it became ridiculous and even Zach and Luke thought I’d lost my mind.”

  “I would never do that to—”

  “You don’t have to say it again or doubt my belief in you. I know.”

  She hadn’t cried in years before meeting Adam. Her emotions ran out of control around him. Even now, she fought back tears.

  “For a guy who professes to stink at intimacy, you’re doing a good job.”

  “Well, hold on, because you’re about to see my bossy side.”

  She sniffled. “I can take it.”

  “You are not going anywhere tomorrow. This whole plan about Luke meeting with David Brennan and him handing you off to the Secret Service? Never going to happen.” The sweetness left his voice. He was ordering her now and not leaving any room for doubt.

  But she loved that he was fighting for her.

  Their main problem still remained and he had to be honest about it. It was one thing for her to agree to take the risk. She couldn’t make that decision for him. “Being near me isn’t safe.”

  “You’re kidding with that, right? Do you understand what I do for a living? How much death I see?”

  “I’m in the program.”

  “You were. Now you’re in my program. The guys who were supposed to protect you failed, so it’s my turn.”

  “I can’t argue with that.”

  His dimple appeared and the smile came right after. “And then there’s the part where I love you.”

  There it was. The final piece. Joy filled her, wiping out all the sadness and pain that had come before. “You finally said it.”

  “I’ve been feeling it since ten minutes after I met you.”

  She snorted. “I don’t believe that.”

  “Your pies were really good at that diner.”

  She burst out laughing. “Funny guy.”

  “I can’t promise it will be smooth or that I’ll stop being a jerk, but I can promise to love and protect you.”

  She wound her arms around his neck and brought his mouth down to hers. The kiss soothed and electrified, calmed and lit a fire. It went on until she lost her breath and her inhibitions fell away.

  When she finally lifted her head she believed in the promise of tomorrow for the first time since she was fourteen. “And I’ll love and protect you right back.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “I think we should start now.”

  She peeked over his shoulder. “Is everyone still downstairs?”

  “Claire pushed them all out when I came up here. Luke said something about me needing to get my head out of my—”

  Maddie touched a finger to Adam’s lips as happiness overwhelmed her. “I get it.”

  “Getting the details sorted out might take some time, but I do love you and we will figure it out.”

  She’d run for so long that she was mentally exhausted, but with him she could be herself. She could share her fears and fight her demons. He would never hurt her or leave her. He’d made a vow and he would keep it.

  A woman couldn’t ask for more.

  “You know what I think?” She cuddled in even closer.

  “You can say just about anything right now and I’ll agree.”

  “Smart man.”

  “I’m slow, but I have staying power.” He wrapped his arms around her and started walking backward to the bed.

  “Is that your personal motto?”

  “Maybe.”

  She liked it. It fit him. “You know what mine is?”

  “Tell me.”

  “With you I can do anything.”

  “I’m willing to try a little ‘anything’ right now.”

  She threw her head back and laughed. Then his mouth covered hers and she didn’t think at all.

  Chapter Twenty

  Trevor sat at his desk and downed his third glass of scotch. The windows behind his desk provided a wide-open view of the city. The lights usually calmed him. Tonight nothing removed the sting.

  He’d gotten everything he wanted. Russell and John were gone. The Recovery Team would stay out of his business. If anyone had the tape, the person wasn’t talking.

  But the price had been high. He’d made a deal with Luke that would keep his company running and his public reputation sound, but the worry would always be there.

  Trevor knew he had lost his advantage. He would no longer be able to play the game the same way. His edge had been dulled.

  And it was not over.

  He knew John’s partner would come calling. Maybe not to ask for help, but there would be a price. Luke suspected Trevor’s involvement. Someone out there had proof of it. Money and resources. Sure, Trevor kept his men and Orion’s name out of any trial, but that would not matter.

  John’s partner was willing to kill. He knew when to retreat and how to hide his identity. He was on the inside and until recently above suspicion. He seemed to have an endless supply of gunmen, and money to fund them. And if he had any fear he was not showing it.

  The person—Rod or Trevor or some possible third party who had not shown his hand yet—was tying up loose ends. Trevor had never been a loose end. Until now.

  The phone on the edge of his desk rang. It was the after-hours line that only a few people knew. It could be his ex or his son or even Sela. Could be but wasn’t.

  This was the call. The one he had sat all night waiting to receive.

  Trevor picked up on the fourth ring.

  LUKE THREW DOWN his pen and folded his arms
behind his neck. He sat at the head of the table and took the lead as if he was born to the role.

  Adam’s confidence in his friend never wavered. They’d talked out the scene in Trevor’s office and Adam knew he’d never hear about it again. The group was forgiving and their loyalty ran that deep.

  “So, we’re agreed.” Luke rocked back in his chair as he glanced around the conference table at Zach and Adam then up at the flat-screen television where Caleb and Holden were dialed in for the conference. Maddie leaned against the sink sipping tea, but Luke looked for a head nod from her, too.

  Zach spoke for all of them. “We’re in.”

  Luke put his hand on the stack of files to his right. “We take David’s deal and follow this through to the end. We keep going no matter what we find.”

  “Even if that means the line ends with Vince.” Adam forced himself to say the rest. “Or Rod.”

  “What about Trevor?” Caleb asked.

  Luke’s neutral expression gave way to a tense jaw. “We have a deal with him. We’ll abide by it.”

  “I’m sorry. I know you did that for me.” Maddie mumbled the apology over the top of her mug.

  Luke’s response came swift and sure. “Don’t be.”

  “If we’d have time for a vote we all would have agreed that your safety was more important than taking Trevor down.” Zach said the words, but they spoke up in agreement.

  She glanced at Adam. “Thank you.”

  “And between us and the feds, we’ll get Knevin. In the meantime, nothing will happen to you here.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  He watched her standing there and realized he loved her more each minute. “You’re one of us now.”

  Holden laughed. “That’s a good thing, right?”

  Luke cleared his throat to get them back on track. “Surveillance on Trevor, his assistant and Vince begins tomorrow. Adam will get the communications set up and guard Maddie. Caleb and Mia will work on the forensics we gathered from Maddie’s house. Zach will take Orion. We’ll finish this thing.”

  Adam reached over and grabbed a folder from Luke’s pile. “We may as well start now.”

  “I’m ready,” Maddie said.