Ash Rising (DEAd Series)

by Melissa Fox

  “You don’t have to explain. I—”

  “With Liz… I loved her.” He ignored her interruption and kept his gaze level, refusing to let her look away. “I’d never been in love. Don’t know what would have happened between the two of us if she hadn’t been taken from me. Don’t know if she was the one, if she… I don’t know. And that’s okay, because there’s you.

  “I didn’t expect you, Emma. You’re more than I ever expected to have, and I never thought you’d feel what I do, not now, not right away. I planned a long, patient, careful campaign. Wear you down, distract you with pleasure, make you fall in love with me. Figured you’d make me work harder than I ever had in my life, and you have. It’s been worth every second, because there’s you—only you. I love you, Emmaline. I love you, damn it. Don’t be sorry you love me, too.”

  A sob escaped her, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to stop more from following. She heard a rough sound and the next thing she knew, his arms engulfed her, hugging her securely against his chest. Emma clutched his shoulders and held on.

  “Emma,” he murmured in her hair, rocking her and pressing his mouth next to her ear. “Emmaline. Don’t cry.”

  “I love you. I want to move in with you. I want that. And don’t tell me what to do.”

  He extricated himself from her death grip to stroke her hair away from her face. “I’ll try not to, but we’re both a little bossy.”

  “We are.” She laughed and wiped her eyes, but his hands brushed hers away so his lips could trace her wet cheeks.

  “You’re moving in with me.”

  “I am. Let’s do it this weekend. And when I get sent back to the States, we’ll—”

  “You’ll still live here. We’ll buy another house wherever you are. Buffalo. Doesn’t matter, but I want home to be with you. I love you. We’ll make it work.”

  “We will.” Determination and love filled her words, made her voice strong. “We will.”

  Andy and Lisa, working alongside him and Emma, helped move what personal possessions she had with her to the lake house. Andy had been delighted with the news, Lisa slightly less so. She’d never had the chance to meet Liz, not like Andy had, so she’d take a little longer to accept the concept of Ash being in love. Lisa would have a long time to get used to the idea, because he never intended to let Emma go.

  “He can’t stop staring at you with that stupid grin on his face, Emma,” Andy joked as he carried the last bag into the house. “Between him being so distracted and my useless leg, that makes about one whole other person.”

  Emma gave him a mock scowl as she relieved him of a suitcase and disappeared into the bedroom. Ash followed her with his gaze, wanting to follow her with the rest of him, until Lisa smacked him in the gut. He staggered into the kitchen to prep steaks for the grill while Lisa started slicing vegetables at the sink.

  “Good to see you smiling again.” Andy sat at the counter as Ash put together the marinade. “This is great. I’m happy for you, man.”

  Ash couldn’t hold back his grin. “I never thought this would happen. But it feels right. I’m ready. I love her.”

  Lisa jerked, almost cutting her finger when she whipped around to stare at him. “You haven’t known her that long. Seriously? In love? I thought you said that would never happen again.”

  “Crazy, right? I didn’t think it ever would. I mean, I loved Liz. When she died, and my mom and dad, Daniel, what happened to your leg.” He gestured at Andy. “Me in the coma, in the hospital for so long, the physical therapy, recovery, everything. My whole world gone. Changed. I’ve been trying to deal with the guilt, but it’s still there. Always will be, you know?”

  Andy nodded solemnly. He risked a glance at Lisa, who stood leaning against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest.

  “But then I think about what all that cost me. People I loved were killed—murdered. Pretty heavy price to pay for any mistakes I might have made. Too heavy. And now, well, now I have Emma. To make up for all that.” He glanced up at Andy, who was wide-eyed, and Lisa, who narrowed hers. “Sounds crazy, right?”

  “You can’t think that—put that on her. Make her that,” Lisa whispered shakily. “Ash.”

  “No, he makes sense,” Andy said. “In a weirdo sort of cosmic way, maybe, but still. You deserve something good.”

  Lisa placed a hand on Ash’s arm. “After everything you’ve been through? I don’t want you to hurt like that ever again. I don’t want to go through that ever again. You have no idea the things I went through for you.”

  He hugged her close. “I don’t know what I would have done without you guys.”

  She pulled away to examine his face. “What if the perfect woman is still out there waiting for you? You’ve spent enough of your life looking and trying them out. How do you know Emma’s the one for sure?”

  “How do you know that about anyone?” He kissed her forehead. “You don’t plan—it just happens. I didn’t want to love her, because she’s a heardheaded, stubborn thing, and the whole being from different countries really sucks, but I’m crazy about her. And somehow, she can see past my bullshit and fell in love with me, too. It’s crazy.”

  “It’s great.” Andy rose and grabbed the bowl to carry the steaks out to the deck. “Let’s get these bad boys on the grill. I’m starving.”

  Emma stood in the cavernous walk-in closet when she heard a soft knock. She turned to find Lisa standing in the doorway.

  “Why does he have so many packages of brand-new underwear?” Emma wondered out loud. “A whole bunch of them.”

  Lisa scoffed and ran a hand over the sleeve of one of Ash’s shirts. “Because he puts them in his duffel, which he has with him pretty much all the time. In case he has an unscheduled or unexpected overnight stay, know what I mean?”

  “Huh.” Emma glared at the stack. Ripping the packages open, she let the boxer briefs fall into a pile on the floor. “There. He won’t be needing to carry those around anymore, now will he?”

  “That won’t stop him.” Lisa leaned one shoulder against the doorframe and crossed her arms over her chest with a smile. Definitely not an encouraging smile.

  “No, I don’t suppose it will. The fact he’s with me, and I’m moving in, that’s what will stop that shit.”

  “You think? Let’s hope so.” Lisa shook her head, and Emma’s shoulders tightened.

  “Do you have a problem with me moving in with Ash?” she asked point blank. Playing catty little games had always irritated her.

  “No, not at all. I just have a problem with the mess it’ll create when Ash is…Ash.”

  Oh, brother. Why couldn’t one of his best friends get past his youthful indiscretions? Couldn’t anyone see the man he really was? Tired of people telling her about all the women he used to be with, she only cared about the woman he was currently with and would be for the foreseeable future.

  Her.

  “I know who Ash is. I know he’s been with a lot of women. Everyone takes great delight in telling me all about them, but I also know he’s trustworthy. He’d never go behind my back and be unfaithful. If he wanted that, he’d never make promises in the first place.”

  “I know he’s honorable,” Lisa said. “I know better than anybody alive. I hate to see you fall in love with him and then you both be disappointed when he is who he is. When you expect things he can’t give. That’s not fair.”

  “I don’t expect anything from him he can’t give me. Or isn’t willing to give.”

  “It’s just that I’ve seen him go through a lot of women over the years, and they all wanted what you do. They wanted him. Exclusively. Ash doesn’t do exclusive.”

  Emma held on to her temper for the sake of Lisa and Ash’s friendship. So hard, but the last thing she wanted to do was piss Lisa off the first night she was officially in the house.

  “How many women has he told he loved them?” Emma fought against crossing her arms over her chest to mirror Lisa. God, she really didn’t want to fight wit
h one of Ash’s closest friends, but she was tired of people underestimating him—and her. “Maybe one other? And how many has he had an exclusive relationship with? Wanted an exclusive relationship. Again, one other. How many women has he asked to move in with him? One. Only one. Me. I trust him. I love him. It’s going to be hard, but what relationship isn’t? We’ll figure out a way to make this work.”

  “I’m just concerned for you both. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

  “You can’t stop that. Nobody can. I’ll hurt; he’ll hurt. You can’t avoid getting hurt in a relationship. The thing is, we both care about each other enough to work though rough patches when they happen. I can see past his amazing face and body, past how excellent he is in bed, and love him anyway, despite all his faults. I know he’s slept with a score and more of women, that he can be careless, he’s arrogant and snotty and a complete jackass at times. I can see past all that into how kind and honest he is, how much he cares about people that are close to him. And somehow, he loves me, despite the fact he knows I’m stubborn and bossy and short-tempered. We care enough to forgive each other when those things piss us off, love each other enough to appreciate them, because that makes us who we are. I don’t have to tell you, though. You know what I mean.”

  Eyes blinking wide, Lisa took a step back.

  “With Andy.” Emma clarified. “You’ve been with him a long time. You know how he can completely piss you off, but you love him anyway.”

  “Yeah,” Lisa murmured. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

  “I know you care about Ash, but Lisa, so do I. I love him. I really do. I want this to work. I hope you know that. You understand him better than anybody. You took care of him when he was broken, physically and mentally, when he was at his lowest. I hope this point in his life is a high, and you’ll be here for that, too.”

  “I’ve always been the one constant in his life. I’ve always been there for him.”

  “And I want to be as constant as you—for the rest of his life, if we’re lucky.”

  Lisa tipped her head with an attempt at a smile more grimace than grin. “You can try.”

  “Thanks for your help today. Glad you guys could come over.” Ash poked at the steaks on the grill before closing the lid.

  “Wouldn’t have missed it. I like her, Ash. She’s good for you. Doesn’t take any of your shit, and if she does, she gives it right back.” Andy lowered himself into a chair at the patio table.

  “I like her, too. Feels like I’ve been given a second chance. I didn’t think there’d be anything—anyone—after Liz, but then she came along and wham. I’m ass over elbows, not sure if I’m coming or going. She’s got me all pissed off and turned on and laughing and needing her so damn much. Doesn’t feel right when she’s not here, so…” He shrugged.

  “Well, you don’t love easy, but you love hard when you do.”

  “I don’t think Lisa’s quite ready to accept her with open arms yet.” Ash glanced at the doors leading into the house. “She seems a little weird.”

  “You know Lisa.” Andy sighed and sat forward, staring at his tightly twined fingers before lifting his gaze. “She’s always had a thing for you. That probably influences her feelings toward Emma. Nothing personal against her.”

  An automatic denial sprang to his lips, but he and Andy knew each other too well. And Lisa. “She thought she did once, maybe, but that was a long time ago. We’ve all been so close for so long. She probably just feels a little protective, maybe, after being there for me after. After the bombing.”

  Andy tipped his head back and forth, not disagreeing, but not agreeing, either. Ash took a closer look at his friend’s face. “Things are okay between you and Lisa, right?”

  Andy grimaced, and Ash didn’t mistake the expression for a smile. “Things are different.”

  “Bad different?”

  “Not good different.”

  “Andy.” Ash didn’t know what to say. Andy and Lisa had been together for years.

  “Not because of you. I didn’t mean that. It’s just gotten worse lately, I guess. We’ve been through shit before. Hoping we’ll work through this one, too. Eventually.”

  “I hope so, too.”

  Ash stood and put his hand on Andy’s shoulder, offering sympathy and support before heading inside the house. Emma was in the kitchen with Lisa, who poked at something in the oven. Emma glanced over her shoulder with a smile, flushed and dewy from the heat, hair curling out of control, looking at him like he was the only thing in her world. Just like that, his heart turned over in his chest. Ash pulled her close to place a sound kiss smack on her lips.

  “Wow.” Her fingers touched her mouth, eyes hazy with pleasure. “Thanks. What was that for?”

  “Just because I love you.”

  Her eyes lit up, and she hugged him. “Well, then. You can do that all day.”

  He kissed her again, a quick little taste, before letting go. “I think we should open a bottle of champagne, what do you say?”

  “I’ll take any excuse to open champagne,” she agreed. “I’ll go grab a bottle. Or two.”

  “I’ll get it,” Andy offered. “Any excuse to raid Jack’s wine cellar.”

  “Ash’s wine cellar, now,” Lisa corrected. “Not his dad’s.”

  Andy’s step stuttered before he nodded, casting Ash an apologetic look.

  “My dad didn’t know shit about wine before he met my mom.” Ash broke the uncomfortable silence. He held out a chair for Emma at the breakfast bar and pulled on a loose curl when she sat. “He pretended at first to impress her, but then he really did get interested. Wine became a passion of theirs, something they shared. I’ve tried to keep his cellar up to par with how he had it, and I’ve become interested, too.”

  “You don’t have to talk about your parents, Ash,” Lisa told him. “Andy’s an idiot. He shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “I’m okay,” Ash replied easily, and he was. He took Emma’s hand. “I don’t mind talking about Mom and Dad. I like telling Emma about them. They would have loved you, Emmaline.”

  “And me them, I’m sure. I wish I could have known them.”

  “Oh, you will, because I’ve got tons of stories.”

  “Stories about who?” Andy came back into the kitchen, juggling a chilled bottle and four glasses.

  “Mom and Dad. I was telling Emma about how Dad used to bullshit about wine until he actually started learning something.”

  “You want stories?” Andy filled the stemware with sparkling, frothy wine. “Lisa and I can tell you stories, especially about our boy here. Not to mention ones about his mom and dad. And Daniel.”

  “Emma and I had lunch with Maggie and Abby the other day,” Ash commented. With Emma’s support and presence, he’d been able to face Daniel’s widow and young daughter without the usual crushing guilt and actually enjoy the afternoon. “They’re doing well. Abby’s turning into quite the little diva, just like her dad.”

  “She’s lovely,” Emma said as she took a glass from Andy. “They both are. It was great to meet them. She was so happy to see her Uncle Ash.”

  “I think we should have three,” Ash said casually, leaning against the counter. He kept a faint smile on his face but watched her carefully.

  “What?”

  Emma, Andy, and Lisa froze, staring at him in shock. He shrugged, enjoying their astonishment.

  “You know. Kids. We should have at least one of each. And an extra of either kind.”

  Emma’s eyes grew suspiciously moist as she clutched the spoon in her hand, but she rallied, like the strong woman she was. She met and surpassed him in strength, character, and spirit, and he loved her for it.

  “We’ll put that on the table for negotiation,” she whispered.

  “I’m going to be pretty stubborn about wanting a boy and a girl. Just so you know.”

  “You can be as stubborn as you want, but until you carry them for nine months and then squeeze them out after hours of unb
elievable pain and torture, your bargaining position is a little shaky.”

  He barely remembered Lisa and Andy were in the room. All he could see was Emma. His future. “What if I threw marriage in the deal? Does that make my negotiations stronger or weaker?”

  “Before or after?” she countered, arching a brow.

  “Before. Definitely before.”

  She gave him a trembling smile. “It helps.”

  “Okay then.” He picked up the tray to get the steaks off the grill, taking in every nuance of her reaction. “We’ll open the negotiations at a later time.”

  Emma sagged against the counter, her hand shooting out to support her weight. “Holy shit. Holy shit. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  “I think he is,” Lisa murmured, turning back to the sink.

  Ash winked, and Emma did a little dance in the middle of the kitchen.

  They managed to get dinner on the table, and Ash couldn’t stop touching her while they ate—brushing shoulders, thighs, trapping her foot under his. When Andy asked if she’d heard from superiors at the DEA about how long they planned to keep her in Toronto, he took her hand as she answered.

  “The DEA sent me notice they’re going to transfer me to the Buffalo office,” Emma told them. Groans and boos sounded all around, but he just gave her fingers a supportive squeeze. “I’ll commute on the weekends and down time between here and there—”

  “And I’ll be going there a lot, too,” Ash added.

  “So they’re taking you off the case?” Lisa asked. “Rico and Gina’s murders?”

  “Yeah. The RCMP is more than capable of continuing with the case. I’ll be lending whatever assistance necessary from our side, but the DEA wants me back in the ranks. There’s no more reason for me to go back undercover with the Salvatore op. We’re drug enforcement, not murder cops.”

  “So no clues? No leads or anything?” Lisa pressed.

  “We’ll keep the investigation active on this end,” Andy said. “We’ll find out who’s responsible. Sometimes with these cartels and runners it takes a while, but they all make a mistake eventually.”