Finding My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  "How is it that you all found each other then? Why do you all live together?" I ask.

  "You have to understand Kitten, wolves uh...we tend to live...that is to say that...uh...we don't die unless we are killed. Remy is the oldest of us. He came across Ash, who was left in the same position as him. He took him in, the same with the rest of us. Wolves are happier in packs, we live like humans for the most part but we like being together. It made sense for us to share a house." Tristan says kindly.

  The living together thing makes sense, but my brain can't process the fact that they live forever. How old are they then?

  I look to Remy, "Is Angela a wolf then?" I blush, feeling stupid that I asked that when there are better questions.

  Remy squints his eyes at me. "No, she's a human. Why do you ask?"

  I shift in my seat. "I was just wondering if, you know, since she's Logan's girlfriend if, you know, they could...you know?" Wow I sound smart. No wonder this guy thinks I need a tutor.

  He chuckles under his breath. "They can have sex, yes. But they can never have children. Humans cannot carry wolf offspring and human males cannot impregnate female wolves."

  "Oh." I say, looking at my knees.

  "Furthermore, Angela is not Logan's girlfriend." he says. Smirking at me.

  "But she kissed him! And the tall blond... she's your...”

  He cuts me off. "Kitten we have been around for a very long time, we have.... certain needs of the female variety. We prepare ourselves for a lifetime of loneliness and meaningless relationships, but that doesn't necessarily mean we have to be alone all of the time. Male wolves can choose to attend the Mating Games and win a mate if they would like. We cannot, as we would most likely be killed for trying.

  I nod. "Uh...okay". I have no idea what to say to that. I want to know more about these Mating Games, but now doesn't seem like the time. I have so many questions. I don't understand how this all can be real. I know it is. I saw it with my own eyes but...

  "We've given you a lot to think about. How about we call it a night?" Tristan says. I nod again. As we get up and start to walk from the room, I pull Tristan aside.

  "Do you mind if I stay with you tonight?" I ask, hoping he'll say yes. Maybe it's his voice, or his eyes, I don't know, I trust Tristan. Maybe I shouldn't. I think a normal person in my position would run for the hills, but since when have I ever been normal.

  Tristan flashes me his charming smile, "I'd be honored Kitten. Are you going to eat though?" He asks.

  I shake my head. "No, I think I'd like to lay down now." No way am I going to sit around the table with all of them right now.

  "Okay, I'm going to go eat and I'll meet you up there later. Remember the way?"

  "Yeah, I remember. Do mind if I use your tub? A bath would be wonderful right about now."

  He kisses my cheek "Of course, I'll see you in a bit." If my mind wasn't spinning a mile a minute I might have taken the time to freak out about Tristan kissing me, as it is though...I just file it for later.

  I turn to the stairs as he walks to the kitchen. Logan must have guessed I'd stay in here because the bags from our earlier shopping trip are sitting on Tristan's bed. I dig through them seeing a pair of sleep pants and more panties and bras. There are more cami tops too. Other stuff is in here as well, I briefly wonder how Logan had the time to get all this, but push that thought away too. I put together an outfit and head to the bathroom.

  After I fill the tub with bubbles and water, I use the hair tie from my ponytail and wrap my hair up in a bun. I sink into the hot water, feeling my body relax. I can't believe what a crazy day I've had. Werewolves not only exist but I'm living with them. I'm in a werewolf’s bathtub right now. A werewolf that owns bubble bath. I giggle to myself. I guess I've never been normal, but even here I'm an outcast. I really don’t fit in. A Kitten amongst wolves. Ha! I crack myself up sometimes.

  CHAPTER 9

  Tristan must have come to bed after I fell asleep. I didn't hear him come in at all. I must be slipping. I turn over, prop my head up in my hand and watch Tristan sleep. His bare back is uncovered with the sheets wrapped around his waist. He's clearly a blanket stealer. His sand colored hair is a wild mess. I like it that way.

  "What are you doing?" I can barely understand him with his face buried in the pillow.

  "Oh, nothing. I've decided to become your new creepy stalker, that's all. I buried your old one out back, hope you don't mind." I say, deadpan.

  Tristan grumbles something and turns his head toward me. "Someone woke up in weirdo mode." He says.

  I widen my eyes and give him the creepiest smile I can manage without a mirror. "You have a squishy face, and I shall call you squishy face and you shall be mine."

  Tristan bursts out laughing before he smacks me with a pillow right in my face, causing me to go into a giggle fit. "Oh my God, you are such a strange little thing. I had no idea. You've been walking around here pretending to be a good little girl while hiding all your scary."

  I kick him lightly in the leg. "Oh no, no you didn't. You wanna play little one? I guarantee you I'll win." Now Tristan is the one with the creepy smile.

  I back off the bed, acting like I'm going to run around it. Tristan follows from the other side. I fake like I'm making a run for it, he takes the bait and I jump on the bed, bouncing off it and sprint for the door. I throw it open and dash down the hall, Tristan right behind me laughing his head off. I make it to the stairs and slide down the wide banister. I hear him say "Oh shit" behind me somewhere before I hear footfalls on the steps.

  I run down the first floor hallway, not really sure where I'm running to. I come to a connecting hallway and go left, running right into Tristan's waiting arms. He picks me up and I squeal. He's still laughing, spinning me around when we hear someone clear their throat. We both freeze and look for who made the noise.

  Turns out we are right in front of the game room. Where everyone is sitting, staring at us like we've lost our minds. I look back at Tristan. When our eyes meet we burst out laughing again. I take advantage of the distraction and smack his arm. "Tag, you’re it!” I call as I run off again. I've never played this game before but I've watched other kids do it at the park and have always wanted to.

  I hear Tristan say the same thing before he's suddenly beside me. I wonder who's IT now. He leads me to the back door and we run down the patio steps and into the yard. I hear several of them behind us and my giggling starts up again. I have no idea why I started this and I never expected anyone else to join in. This is great. I feel freer than I ever have in my life.

  "Shush girl, you’re going to lead them straight to us." Tristan says playfully to me. I turn my head and see Ash coming toward us at a full sprint. I laugh louder. He might have longer legs and be stronger than me but I'm closer to the ground and can out maneuver him. As he gets closer I break away from Tristan, circling back, just out of Ash's reach. I run and hide behind Remy. It's obvious that he's not playing. He's standing against the rail of the deck, arms folded over his chest, watching the craziness.

  "Are you having fun Miss Kitten?" He asks. I can hear the smile in his voice.

  I lean my head against his back, trying to pull in more air. I can't stop laughing though. I can't remember if I have ever had this much fun. Or laughed so much. "Yes" I manage to giggle out.

  "She's behind Remy!" I hear someone call. I peek my head out. It looks like Logan is it now.

  "Hey, how do you win this game?" I ask Remy.

  "Win? You don't really win a game of tag Kitten. Besides, even if you could, you'd never win against a pack of wolves." He turns to face me, a broad smile on his face. Reed comes up to hide with me, not even out of breath.

  "Hey, guess what?" Reed asks me.

  "What?"

  He reaches out and flicks my arm. "You're it!" He shouts, already down the steps. Dang that boy is fast. I step up next to Remy. The guys have lined up in the grass, waiting for me. I take a step forward, they take a step back. I take another
step forward and reach back, tagging Remy. I run to stand beside the guys. Turning and waiting for him now.

  When I turn around he's still standing where I left him. I pout at him. "You're it Rem, don't you want to play with me?"

  "Yeah Remy!" Calls Jace. Remy takes a step forward and the guys move back. I stay there, keeping my pale green eyes on Remy's gray ones. A smile creeps up my face. I want to see the strong, grumbly leader play. I turn slowly, picking out my path in a glance. I see Remy take his shirt off out of the corner of my eye. Is he trying to distract me? It's sort of working, I want to stare at him but I force my eyes away.

  "I'm going to give you a ten second head start Kitten, and then I'm coming for you." The other guys laugh and start taking off their shirts too, and their shoes. I find this odd but then Remy starts to count. Before he finishes saying 'one', I'm off and running. I head for the tree line. I hear the number ten being said before I hear howling. I turn to look back and see several huge wolves giving chase. How in the heck did I ever mistake one of them as a dog? I increase my speed and almost make it to the tree line before I feel a nudge on my calf.

  I stop running and collapse on the ground. Doing a mixture between panting for breath and laughing my heart out. A huge red wolf nuzzles my neck before licking my face. "You totally cheated." I say to the wolf. The wolf nods his head up and down. If a wolf could look smug, I'm sure this is what it would look like. I roll my eyes at him.

  A golden wolf pokes his nose into my hand, forcing himself under it. I bet this one is Jace. I pet his coat. He's so pretty. Jace is a fine specimen as a man and it transfers well in wolf form too. I whisper in his ear that I forgive him for yesterday. I don't think he even likes me. Knowing what little of him that I do, he's probably just showing off his breathtakingly beautiful wolf.

  A light brown wolf pounces on Jace. Logan. At first I'm afraid that he'll hurt him but neither one looks aggressive. They roll around, nipping at each other. I realize that this is how they play. A few of the others start playing too. I sit and watch. I'm happy they are having fun. I know that a serious conversation will take place later but I'm not yet ready for it.

  The mint green eyed wolf that is Finn sits next to me, snuggling into my side. "Hi Finn, I really missed you when you left me you know?" His response is to lick my hand. I throw an arm around his big neck and lean back into him. I haven't forgiven him yet. I'm sure I will eventually but he lied to me and left me. I truly did miss him though and I don't want to let go just yet. I enjoyed being close to him then and I still do now.

  A lean looking wolf with pretty hazel eyes walks up to me with his head low, ears back. I smile at him, "Hey Reed, come here." I hold my hand out. Reed comes to me, I scratch behind his ear for a moment before he lays his head in my lap. Two shiny black wolves take a seat in front of us. One massive and a smaller, yet still big one. The grass green eyed one barks at me.

  I giggle, "Hi Kellan, hi Ash." Kellan barks again. A wet nose nuzzles my neck from behind. I turn and see the big red wolf. Remy is simply stunning in wolf form. I turn my face and press it back into his neck. If he can do it so can I. His fir tickles my nose but it feels comforting feeling the coarse hair against my face. It feels right.

  I don't see Tristan or Logan anywhere; they must have headed back to the house already. We sit around for a while, the guys taking turns having me pet them. Eventually though, Remy barks. Probably saying something I don't understand and the other wolves get up and trot to the house. He's commanding even when he can't speak. Figures. I get up slowly, stretching and follow.

  That was the most fun I have ever had. And I owe it all to a bunch of wild animals. That thought makes me smile.

  ……..

  We gather around the kitchen island. The guys are already passing around plates of pancakes and bacon, chatting happily away with each other. I smile to myself, a girl could really get used to this. Reed comes up behind me, placing a plate of strawberry topped pancakes in front of me with one hand. His other hand finds my hip, squeezing it gently. I turn my head to the side and give him a kiss on the cheek.

  "Thank you Reed."

  "No problem. I know you like strawberries, I figured I'd just make you a plate." He shrugs. He acts like it's nothing, but to me it means a lot. He didn't just put food on a plate for me. He chopped up the berries and made a smiley face, a dab of butter for the nose. It's cute, I love it. Who knew someone could be artistic with food?

  As I'm smiling at my pancakes like a total freak, a hand shoots out and snatches the strawberry that was an eye. I look up to see a smug looking Ash, happily chewing away at the stolen fruit. I mock glare at him but I can't keep the smile off my face so I'm sure it's less than intimidating.

  Reed backs away from me, going behind Ash and smacking the back of his head with a loud pop. Ash makes a choking noise. Holy crap! Reed just hit Ash! I start giggling uncontrollably, the others joining in with me. Logan makes a move to grab another piece but is too slow and I push his hand away. I hear Reed huff behind me before he pulls me out of my seat and sits down. What the heck? Is he mad that I laughed?

  "Come here Kitten."

  "Uh... where?" I reply brilliantly.

  Reed huffs again, both of his hands going to my hips, turning and lifting me onto his lap. I suck in a shocked breath, looking over my shoulder and up into his face. He has a satisfied look on his face but doesn't say anything as he pulls my plate closer to us. He picks up the fork, looking it over, twirling it in his hand. He puts it back down then uses his long fingers to pick up one of the coveted strawberries, bringing it to my mouth. Holy Jesus...Reed's going to feed me!

  I open my mouth, more out of reflex than anything else. The sweet taste spreads over my tongue. My eyes close to half mast as I let out a small moan. God how I love these!

  "Shit...” Ash says under his breath, bringing me out of my daze.

  Reed shifts underneath me. I feel the heat rise in my cheeks at my reaction. I should really try to control myself one of these days. I notice that it's now quiet throughout the kitchen. Whatever, not my problem they can't appreciate the taste of strawberries the way I do. Reed brings another berry to my lips. I'm still embarrassed from before so I don't immediately open my mouth. Reed slides the sweet fruit slowly over my bottom lip, my tongue darts out instinctively, lapping up the juice. That makes Reed shift again. He must be uncomfortable with me sitting on him so I open my mouth, taking the bite. Better to hurry so his legs don't fall asleep than to draw this out.

  Once I'm finished eating, Reed feeding me every bite, I help Jace clear the table. He's been quiet. I wonder if it's because he simply doesn't want to talk to me.

  "Did I do something to make you mad at me?" I blurt.

  Jace's head snaps up, his sky blue eyes finding mine. "No."

  O....Kay. One word answer, huh? Guess there will be no small talk then. "Then why don't you like me?"

  "Who said I don't like you?" Jace returns his attention to loading the dishwasher.

  He so did not answer the question. "Does that mean you do?" I know the answer but I need him to say it.

  Instead of answering he asks his own question. "Why are you here Kitten?" I blink at him in surprise. He's as blunt as I am.

  "I guess because I was asked to stay." I shrug.

  Jace slams the door closed on the dishwasher, causing the dishes to clink around. I hope he didn't break anything. I back away from him, toward the doorway. I don't know why my answer made him angry, but if he tries anything I'm ready to run.

  He watches me out of the corner of his eye. He turns, leaning back on the counter, his hands gripping the granite top next to his hips. "By that logic, you'd stay with anyone that invited you to. I don't believe for an instant that no man has ever asked you back to his place. Even for a night." He sneers. "But instead of being at some random guy's house, you're here. In a house full of wolves, wealthy wolves." He finishes.

  Even though I'm not surprised by his words they still hurt. He thinks I'm a
fter their money. I could see why he thinks that but...that's just not me. Maybe the others don't think that because they actually took the time to know me. He hasn't. And he's seen them spend money on me.

  "Jace...I'm not here for money, or the things that you could buy me. I'd rather earn the things I have than have them given to me. Everything the others have given me, or done for me, I'll pay them back. Do you think I don't know every piece of food I've eaten here? That I haven't added up in my head the cost of being under Kellan's care? I have! It might take forever to do it, and it might not always be cash payments, but my debt here will be repaid in full." I'm close to tears and I hate it. The weight of their hospitality is pressing on me. I know the sooner I leave the less debt I'll keep racking up here. The thought of leaving breaks my heart though.

  "So that's how it is then? You plan on paying them in kisses and what… Your body too? I didn't think you were like that. I guess enough money thrown in a girl's face can turn anyone into a whore." My mouth drops open. NO. HE. DIDN'T.