Finding My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  "Sorry." I mumble out, moving to the island and taking a seat.

  "For what? Watching me?" I bite my lip and make circles on the countertop. He knew I was staring? I nod. Tristan chuckles. "I like you watching me Kitten."

  My head snaps up. Huh? "You do?"

  He walks over to me, bending down and leaning on his elbows so he's close to my face. "I do. I like feeling your eyes on me from across the room. I like it when your hand twitches when my hair falls in my eyes, I like it when your heartbeat calms when you hear my voice, and I like that you like my chocolaty eyes."

  I think I melted to the floor in a puddle. Tristan's voice is low and is doing weird things to my belly. I've never heard him talk with that tone before, but I really, really don't want him to stop. So he notices me and my reactions to him? Wait a minute.

  "HE TOLD YOU!" I screech. I am so gonna kill Kellan when I see him.

  Tristan stands up, laughing. "Yes, he told me. The Giant and Chocolate Eyes. I love the name Kitten, and seeing as how much you love chocolate, if yesterday was any indication, I'll take that as a huge compliment." He winks at me, before going to the fridge.

  "I do love them." I whisper, not believing that I'm really telling him this. "Not just the color, but how silky they are, smooth. I read your eyes better than I've ever been able to read anyone's. It's how I knew you really wanted to help me the night you found me, how I knew that you understood what I was telling you. You have a gentle soul Tristan, and it shows through your eyes."

  Tristan walks back to me slowly, guiding me off my seat so I stand with my back against the island. "Are my eyes the only thing you like about me Kitten?" He asks, that low tone back.

  "N-no." I stammer.

  He lays his forehead on mine. "Tell me, what else you like about me." Part of me thinks I should be embarrassed by what I already said but the bigger part of me wants Tristan to know just how I feel about him.

  "I like your shaggy hair too. I like how you stand up for me. I like how beautiful you are. And I like how you take care of me." I close my eyes, hoping against all hope that he doesn't laugh at me. Which reminds me. "Oh, and I like your laugh. Your food too, your food is magical."

  Tristan backs his head away from mine, tilting my chin up. "You think my food is magic huh?" I open my eyes, is that all he heard? I nod, staring into those dang chocolate eyes that started this whole mess. His responding smile is brilliant.

  "And your smile." I say.

  "Anything else?"

  "Your voice, I like your voice too."

  "Anything else?"

  "I like that you're playful, Like Logan but a little less reckless."

  "Anything else?"

  Why does he keep asking that? Do all boys need an ego boost in the morning? "Tristan I could stand here all day and list the things I love about you, why don't you just go find a tall mirror to stand in front of. I like everything about you. Now stop trying to kill me of embarrassment." I huff out.

  "Can I kiss you Kitten?" He asks.

  "Please." When his soft lips come down on mine all I can think is, finally! I've felt a connection with Tristan ever since he found me that night. I'm finally able to grab onto him and pull him to me and it's pure bliss.

  When he done kissing me thoroughly, he steps back. "I just wanted to you hear you say you liked everything about me, because I like everything about you too Kitten." He kisses the tip of my nose and goes back to the refrigerator. I bring my hand to my lips, feeling that they have swelled. Wow, his kisses are magic too.

  "Except your food. I haven't tasted your cooking yet." He says, bringing my thoughts back down to earth.

  "Is that a deal breaker?" I ask playfully. I hope not though. It's not like I have any experience with stoves.

  Tristan just laughs. "Come here silly girl, you can make the eggs." Yay! Cooking with Tristan!

  ...........

  The rest of the guys slowly trickle to the kitchen after my kiss with Tristan. I try to concentrate on the big pan of eggs, but it's a little hard when adorable sleepy boys are in my line of sight. Each one of them saw me standing at the stove and came over and either hugged or kissed me, telling me good morning. I might have to do this cooking thing more often.

  Once we're all seated, we start eating and chatting away. I've learned that most of them only grunt before their first cup of coffee. I start eating my pancakes that Tristan made, with a strawberry syrup he made just for me. I get lost in my own little food haze until I hear Logan shouting.

  "Holy shit! What was the recipe for these Tristan? A dash of salt and a barrel of ass?" He spits into a napkin just as I see Jace's mouth open and half chewed food just falls out to his plate. Mr. Manners just did that?

  "Fuck, he's right man, gross." Ash chugs his water down like he's been in a desert without for a week.

  "Dude, did we do something to piss you off?" Reed chimes in, but it sounds like he thinks it's funny.

  Tristan holds his hands out, palms up. "I don't know what you guys are going on about. I made the pancakes just like I always do. I was just eating one, tasted just fine to me." He's defensive and I can tell, a little hurt. My pancake tasted just fine too. It's as yummy as usual.

  "No, you idiot, the eggs. Are you trying to kill us off?" Logan says.

  I start giggling uncontrollably, laughing so hard that tears are falling down my cheeks and I almost fall out of my seat. "I...I made...the eggs..." I finally manage to get out through bursts of laughter. The guys start laughing with me.

  When I finally calm myself down I sit up straight again and wipe my face. I see Tristan taking a tentative bite of his eggs and watch as his face turns a little green and gets the I-just-ate-a-lemon look. It takes everything I have not to lose it again.

  Tristan sets his fork down slowly and spits out his food into his napkin as well. His face is serious when he looks to me but his eyes hold humor. "Kitten, I think there should be an award for fucking up eggs that badly."

  I giggle again. "Maybe it was my teacher." I tell him.

  He smirks. "No way, my food is magical. Remember?" He winks at me, making me blush. The bastard is going to use my words against me.

  "So much for being a gentleman and taking the fall for the girl." I mock glare at him.

  "Oh I already fell for the girl, but I'm not taking the blame for this atrocity." I stick my tongue out at the cheeky boy. Verbally sparring with him is fun.

  "I think I need to add cooking lessons to your schedule Miss Kitten, either that or give the order to shoot to kill if we spot you at the stove." Remy says, then takes a big gulp of his coffee.

  I suck in air feigning shock and bring my hand to my mouth. "Did you just make a joke Remy? Who knew you were capable." He shakes his head at me as the others crack up.

  Tristan speaks up again. "I am truly curious as to what you did to those poor eggs. I think you added a pound of salt, half the shells then over cooked them by a whole hour. What happened?"

  "It's not my fault you all are so adorable looking when you wake up. I got distracted." I shrug. Eight glorious smiles light the room and I think I'm forgiven. These tough men are sooooo not flatter-resistant.

  ……..

  After breakfast I got dressed and Logan did my hair for me. I asked him if he was coming with me today but he said he needed to do some fashion research since he'd never had a young woman in his charge and then he was going shopping. I shook my head at him. He takes clothes so seriously. I don't mind though, it means I don't have to be.

  After hugging the guys goodbye Finn lead me to his truck and we took off.

  "I love the color of this. Is orange your favorite color?" I ask as he's driving.

  "Yeah, I like most shades of orange but the burnt orange one, like this truck, is my favorite. It's not an easy color to find in nature, so I make a game of it. It's slow going but fun." He shrugs.

  "Like chess then?"

  Finn turns his head to me. "You know how to play chess?"

  "Does that surp
rise you?" He shakes his head. "They used to have chessboards at the park. I'd watch people play. Technically, I've never played but I know the right moves. They took out the chessboards after the city redid the park."

  "There's not really 'right' and 'wrong' moves in chess Kitten, the other player is a factor in your decisions and moves. I don't doubt that you'd be good at it. With your photographic memory, you could be the best at anything you wanted." Finn says, matter of factly.

  "You make it sound like a good thing, my condition I mean."

  His head rocks back in shock. "You don't think it is? Kitten, the type of eidetic memory you talked about last night, has never been demonstrated to exist. Normally only children between the ages of two and six have it, and the percent rate is between two and ten percent for that age group. If it's not found and nurtured, most times it fades completely. Even with all the research that has been done, the ability to glance at something once, say a page in a book, and be able to recall every detail of it, has been ruled a complete myth."

  I wonder how Finn knows all of that. I tried to do my own research on my condition but had a hard time finding anything. "So you're saying that I'm a freak then?"

  He shakes his head. "No, what I am saying, is that you have been given a truly unique gift and ability Kitten. It's not something to be ashamed of, it's something you should feel honored to have. Scientist and scholars of the world would die to be able to do what you can."

  Huh? Smart people envy me, who'd of thunk it? "Does that include you Finn?" I ask, truly curious.

  He turns and smiles at me. "Of course I would love to have your level of eidetic memory Kitten. However, I don't honestly have the need. I can learn anything I'd like, no matter how long it may take me. I've lived for hundreds of years and I'll continue to live for many more. If I had your ability, I could have already read every book in the world, then what would I do?" He says the last part playfully and I laugh, making him smile.

  "So do you feel the same about your ability to shift into a wolf?"

  Enough time passes that I think he isn't going to answer me. Then he does. "I've had many different feelings about being a werewolf at different times. When I was changed, I was afraid. All we had back then were stories that were told at meal times of dangerous beasts of myth. Kellan and I have always been close. As close as twins can be, our father was the doctor of our day for our village and Kellan was his pupil. When I was bitten, Kellan hid me from everyone else until I was healed and under control. If he'd taken me back to the village, as was custom back then, I would have been put out of my misery, and that was before they even knew I changed form." He shakes his head and he snorts derisively.

  "Even to this day, what people can't understand, scares them and makes them do crazy things. Back then it was worse. So after being afraid I had guilt, because Kellan wanted me to change him as well. He said that we did everything together, no matter what. Kellan tried to make me feel better after, saying he liked turning into a wolf. After the guilt, came the grief at having to watch everyone I ever knew die from afar. We didn't age like we should have, and eventually had to leave our family and village, in Ireland. I felt helplessness when Kellan and I had to keep traveling, never being able to get close to anyone or stay too long in one place.

  The first time I felt acceptance is when Remington and Ash found us. Then we weren't alone, we weren't the only ones with this curse. Remington is the one who taught me to accept this as a gift, to see that I am special, not a freak. We became a pack, we had family again. Then, and now, I am happy" He finishes, as we pull into the parking lot of the rink.

  I take Finn's hand in mine, squeezing. "Thank you for telling me that Finn. I'm sorry for what you went through, but I'm not sorry it happened. I would never of had the chance to know you if it hadn't." I lean over and kiss his lips lightly.

  "What was that for?" Finn asks, sounding confused.

  "Because I'd think you were special even if you weren't a werewolf." I hop out of the truck and cross the lot, stepping into work.

  ........

  The day goes by quickly. The kids today were of the 'spoiled and didn't want to be up this early' variety. I had tried to make it as fun as possible, even though one of the mothers tested my patience to the brink. For every instruction I'd give, she'd shout it twice more at the top of her lungs. Thankfully, Finn had stepped in and engaged her in conversation.

  I didn't see Adam or the rest of them today either, which was a feat itself, considering I saw the hockey team gearing up for practice as we left. I know he was here but he didn't seek me out like usual. Finn had also helped me with my jumps today, explaining the science behind them, and I went higher than I ever had. My smart boy knows just how to get to me.

  When we arrived home, Tristan had made us both snack platters with French bread, fruit and cheese for us to take with us to the library room. I had eaten most of mine before we even got there. Finn was nice enough to share his with me and I promised him all the candy bars he wanted for being so sweet. I love watching the crest of his cheeks tint.

  ........

  "Just one more Kitten." Finn instructs.

  "But I don't want to, I've been taking these tests for hours, my braid is short circuiting." I whine, because, yes, I apparently do that now.

  He frowns. "You mean brain? You said braid."

  "SEE! Short circuiting over here." I wave my hands in the air drastically for effect. I try not to laugh at my own joke but he must see it anyway.

  "Nice try Kitten, just finish this last one. I told you that I need to get a better idea of where you're at, academically speaking. If I'm to teach you, I must know what to teach."

  "Fine." I grumble, taking his test.

  When I'm finally done, I go the pillow area in the library and fall flat on my face. Finn laughs at me from his spot at the table, grading my work.

  "I think we should bring Jace in here." I call to him.

  He doesn't look up from my papers. "What do you mean bring him in here? For what?"

  Oh, he's making this too easy. "To lay on, he's comfy, you should try laying on him."

  Finn's head snaps up and he looks at me like I'm crazy. I try to keep a blank face, not giving the joke away. His eyes narrow, he's thinking. "You named that mammoth sized bear 'Jace' didn't you?" He asks.

  I pout. "You don't let me have any fun. Yes I named him Big Jace that way, the person Jace, is Little Jace, he'll hate that."

  Finn throws his head back and laughs. "You're good Kitten. Mean, but good." I thought I was pretty good with that one too.

  "So what do you think? He'd be good to lean up against as we read, right?"

  "I think that's a grand idea. Would you like to read now?" He asks.

  I bite my lip, hoping he won't hate me for what I'm about to ask. "I do but...do you think that you would like to....change into wolf form again?"

  Finn sets his pen down, scoots back his chair and kneels next to me. "You want me to? It doesn't make you uncomfortable or feel odd?" He asks.

  "Not at all, did you forget about our tag game? I like your wolf, all of them. I know you're not my pet anymore but I'd still like to see my Mr. Wolf sometimes. Is that okay?" I haven't seen any of the guys in wolf form since we played in the yard and I don't know why.

  Finn reaches out and strokes my hair, freeing it of the tie holding it up. "It's more than okay, we thought you might feel awkward seeing us walking around like that. To be honest, that's how we spent most of our time at home before you came here. Not being able to change has made some of the others a little antsy."

  I frown at him. "You guys don't have to stay human for me, I like the wolves. I haven't deluded myself into thinking that you're all just a bunch of teenagers, Finn. Give me more credit than that." I'm a little offended that they didn't think I could handle it.

  "I'll let the rest of them know." He smiles at me. "You're a remarkable young woman, you know that?"

  "That's what I hear." I say back. I roll to my back an
d look up at him. He's so sweet and nice and smart. I really like Finn. I like him a lot. "Kiss me Finn." I say, hoping I'm not being too forward with this shy boy.

  He needs no further prodding though, he moves to lay beside me on his side. One of his hands is in my hair as his lips kiss my forehead. He drags his perfect pouty lips down my cheek, to the corner of my mouth, my own lips part at the sensations he's creating. He moves over and nips at my bottom lip dragging it through his teeth. God that felt good. He then does the same to my top one.

  "Finn..." I say breathlessly. He finally covers my mouth with his own, pressing firmly. His tongue snakes out and licks my lips, tasting them. He massages my tongue with his and the rest of the world fades to nothing. I bring both of my hands to his head, running them through his silky black locks. I love his hair.