BEND ME: A Dark Romance
Page 13
Vince felt like the sun was shining directly down on his head the next morning as he headed toward the Romano compound. He couldn’t keep this stupid smile off his face, even though he knew he looked ridiculous, walking around smiling at absolutely nothing. But he just couldn’t help himself. His body was so content, so happy, so relaxed for the first time in what felt like years, honestly. Even with previous subs, he’d never felt this way before after sex. It was the most satisfying, invigorating experience of his entire life, and this was all after the first time he’d fucked Fiona. He couldn’t even imagine what things could be like between them if they got to know each other’s bodies more intimately.
He was whistling a little bit as he headed into the office, nodding at people who still looked back at him with flat, mournful faces, allegedly sympathizing with him over the loss of his father. Vince knew it was terrible, and he was also aware that he was probably going to pay the price for this down the line when the full reality of his father’s death actually hit him, but for the moment, he was practically grateful for the loss. If it hadn’t happened, he never would have met Fiona or at least, not for a long time. He felt so free, so full of glorious, healing light. He felt like all of his wounds were closing up, one by one by one by one, just because of Fiona’s wonderful, submissive touch. God, he was so lucky. He’d never felt this happy before.
“What’s the news, kid?” Vince said as he stepped into his office, where Fiona was waiting at her desk already, her hair tied back into an impossibly tight bun at the top of her head. Vince couldn’t wait until he saw her that night when he could let that hair down about her shoulders again, mess it up, get it dirty and wet from sweat. God, he was getting a little hard just thinking about it…
“Um, you have a visitor,” Fiona said, staring down blankly at her desk. There was a stack of papers in front of her, but Vince could tell by watching her facial expression that she wasn’t actually reading any of the words on the page. She’s trying not to look at me, Vince realized, feeling a small twinge of pain in his chest as a result. But he tried not to let himself feel offended by it. She probably just feels awkward because this is the first time she’s seeing me at the office after we fucked, Vince reasoned to himself. It’s normal for her to feel weird around me right now. She’s a good girl without a lot of experience in this kind of thing. She’s not used to this situation yet. But it’ll get easier as time goes on.
“Who is it?” Vince asked, even though he really didn’t care that much. He was disappointed that he couldn’t devote every last minute of his work time to Fiona, to learning more about what she knew while staring at her gorgeous face and body in the process. Anything else felt like a waste of time in comparison.
“It’s your mother,” Fiona said, her tone stiff and strange, like she was nervous. Vince felt a little bit of worry strike him as he stared down at her for a minute, wondering if anything else was going wrong. It took him a few seconds to realize what Fiona had actually said, but when it hit him, he felt the old familiar crushing sensation of dread return to him. Goddammit. His fucking mother. What did she want?
“How long has she been waiting?” Vince asked, trying to cover up how disappointed and annoyed he felt, even though he really wished he could whine and stomp his feet and refuse to see his mother. She wasn’t like other Italian moms. She didn’t go around trying to feed everybody, laughing too loudly and drinking too much wine. She was a weapon of a woman, sharp and hard and frightening. She’d forged her sons out of the flames of disapproval, and she was continually disappointed that they still hadn’t turned out to be good enough. Vince really didn’t need to have his good mood brought down by maternal judgment.
“She’s been in there, um, about fifteen minutes,” Fiona answered, still not looking up from her piece of paper to meet Vince’s eyes. He silently wished that she would look at him, at least once, if only to give him a little spark of strength to prepare for the battle he was about to face. “In your old office, that is. She didn’t want to wait in here with me.”
Vince couldn’t suppress an eye-roll at that, for numerous reasons. For one thing, it was just like his mom to make him meet with her in his old office, practically telling everybody in the compound that she didn’t accept him as his father’s replacement yet. He didn’t need that kind of disrespect when he was still fighting to get people to recognize him as the leader. And for another thing, it was obvious that his mother still thought Fiona had slept with Paulie before he died, which Vince now knew was completely ridiculous. Anybody only had to meet Fiona a few times before they’d be able to realize that she was incapable of sleeping with an old guy just to get at his money. She just wasn’t that type of woman.
In any case, Vince inhaled deeply and steeled himself, trying to build up an emotional wall so that his mother wouldn’t be able to say anything to damage his ego. “Right,” he said, more to himself than to Fiona now that he realized it was pointless to try to get her to acknowledge him right now. “I’ll try to be quick, and then we can pick up the conversation from yesterday and keep going.”
He quickly exited the office and crossed the hall, highly aware that his mother was certain to be incredibly annoyed that she’d had to wait on him for several minutes already. She wasn’t going to be soft on him today. That much was for sure.
“Mother,” he said as he entered his old office, shutting and locking the door behind him so that they wouldn’t be disturbed by anybody.
“Hello, son,” Mama Romano said, sitting behind Vince’s old desk and gesturing for him to take the other seat, as if he was the visitor in this situation rather than the new boss of the whole organization. “How have you been?”
Vince had to bite back a laugh at that. He knew his mother didn’t care about his life, especially since he hadn’t bothered to check in with her at all before Paulie died. He couldn’t help but notice that she’d lost weight since the last time he’d seen her, over a year before. She looked a little ragged, all of the bones and veins in her neck sticking out prominently every time she spoke or breathed.
“I’ve been fine,” Vince said. “Of course, except for the obvious. I’m so sorry, Ma. I know Dad was everything to you.”
“It’s all right,” his mother said stiffly, putting down the newspaper she’d been perusing to look him directly in the eyes. There was already something hard and sharp, something accusatory hiding within her eyes. She wasn’t happy. “Have you been adjusting well to the new position?”
Vince was a little taken aback by that. He’d expected her to launch into a tirade right off the bat, telling him all the ways that he’d already failed as boss. But instead, she was acting genuinely interested, maybe even concerned about him. What was going on? This wasn’t the way his mother usually was. She was all business, no bullshit, no time for any mushy feelings or anything else that might possibly detract from the business, from the bottom line. It was all about profit for Mama Romano. Vince was convinced that she was incapable of understanding anything else.
“It’s been fine,” Vince said a little awkwardly. “I’ve only been on the job a couple of days, you know. Still figuring stuff out, going over old documents and things like that.”
His mother narrowed her eyes and lifted her eyebrows in silent question, clearly broiling over with a thousand judgmental things to say, but she held herself back, nodding and forcing a tight, polite smile instead. What was the meaning of all of this? Why wasn’t she being a total bitch, like she usually would? It didn’t seem like she was particularly sad, even though her husband had just recently died. Maybe grief looked differently on her, but somehow, Vince figured that wasn’t what was going on. No, everything Mrs. Romano did was about money or success or victory over her foes. Even her relationships with her children were about status.
Ah. That’s it, Vince realized, suppressing a satisfied smile as he realized what his mother was really doing here. The inheritance. It’s not enough. Dad didn’t leave her enough money for the rest of he
r life, so she’s got to make sure she’s in my good graces. Otherwise she’s fucked.
For the first time in his life, Vince felt like he had power over his mother, like he wasn’t a scared little boy subject to her total domination. He almost didn’t know what to do or say, frozen in his seat, overwhelmed with the realization that for once he was in control.
Still, though, his mother was the same woman, even if she was fearful that her eldest son wouldn’t take care of her. She still looked over at him imperiously, sizing him up like she always did, eyes narrowing as she took in every inch of his skin. Vince fought not to squirm in his seat, reminding himself that he wasn’t a little boy anymore. She’s scared now, he told himself. She’s scared. Not me. I don’t have to be afraid. I have the power. That’s all that matters, no matter what she says.
“So, you’re learning the books and things, I presume?” his mother finally said after a protracted pause. Despite everything, Vince still tensed up, aware that his mother’s words could never be taken at face-value. She had a motive here, somehow tied in with her overall goal of securing her financial future.
“Yep,” Vince said, smiling politely, trying to reassure his mother that he had everything under control. “Fiona is showing me the ropes.” He almost winced after that sentence left his mouth, realizing his mistake as soon as his mother smirked in ironic satisfaction. That was what she was hunting for. She wanted to bring up Fiona without actually saying her name out loud herself. Now Fiona was fair game for his mother to rip apart. How could Vince convince his mother that nothing sexual happened between Fiona and his father? She’d never believe him, even if he told her how he knew for sure. She’d probably only become angrier if she knew that her son was sleeping with the “whore” that allegedly ripped her husband away from her.
“And that’s going well, then? Using the old secretary?” his mother said, smiling in that sharp, hard way that Guido always did whenever he was angry. They were too much alike, Vince’s mother and his younger brother.
“She’s not a secretary,” Vince reminded his mother. “She’s an assistant. She does a lot of really essential things for the business.”
“Ah. I see,” Vince’s mother said, leaning back in her chair as if she owned it. “And what essential things has she been doing for you lately, pray tell?”
Vince’s spine stiffened uncomfortably. Clearly, his mother was a lot smarter than Vince had given her credit for. She seemed to sense, right away and with very little information, that he was sleeping with his assistant. Dammit, Vince thought, feeling some of the precious power he’d gained slip away from him like wind whistling between his fingers. “Well, like I said,” Vince said stiffly, his lack of confidence betrayed by his awkward tone of voice. “She’s helping me get acclimated to the business, showing me stuff about our partnerships down south and stuff like that. Really, Mother, she knows so much. We couldn’t afford to lose her.” He knew that sooner or later in this conversation, his mother was going to tell him to fire Fiona, and he wanted to go ahead and mount a defense against any arguments his mother might try to use against his new assistant and lover.
“Hmm, it does really sound like she knows an awful lot,” his mother said, tapping her fingertips together thoughtfully. “Have you considered that she might know…too much?”
Vince furrowed his brows together in confusion. “What do you mean?” The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, almost painfully erect, like his body could sense the danger in this conversation before his mind could catch on to what was going on.
His mother shrugged, like she didn’t know what she was talking about, but then she launched into speech again, leaning forward on the desk so that her face was closer to Vince’s than before. “Well, I just mean, it’s dangerous to have people not in the family know certain things. Like, for instance, personal details about your father. I get the sense that this little secretary knows quite a bit. And…that can be risky. That’s all I’m saying. I just wonder if you’ve accounted for those risks or not.”
Oh, Vince realized, feeling a cold chill go down his spine, sapping out any and all of the remaining, happy warmth from his body. His mother wanted him to get rid of Fiona. And not just fire her. But permanently remove the “danger” that she represented.
“Mother,” Vince began slowly, trying to keep his tone calm so that his mother wouldn’t figure out how panicked that suggestion made him feel. He needed to be cool. Confident. He needed to be in control of this, or else the situation could become a lot worse, very quickly. There were still plenty of lieutenants and enforcers around who’d be more than willing to kill somebody off for Mama Romano, if only out of respect for Paulie’s memory. “I don’t think it’s as dangerous as you think. Fiona—who isn’t a secretary, by the way, she’s an assistant, like I said before—is very loyal to the business. She cared about Dad. A lot.”
“Oh, I bet she did,” his mother muttered, her real bitterness seeping out into her voice for just a moment before she adjusted, nodding at Vince to continue speaking.
“It’s not what you think. Nothing happened there. Nothing happened between them, Mom, I promise. I swear it’s true.” But Mama Romano just stared at him blankly, clearly entirely unconvinced. “Well, regardless, it’s no reason to kill her. She’s been a huge help to me, getting me adjusted to everything, and it’d be an awful message to send to the rest of the company.”
“And what message would that be?” his mother asked, raising her eyebrows skeptically.
“That if you work hard and become important to the Romano family, you’re only going to be punished for it,” Vince said, realizing that he believed the words as soon as they left his mouth. “It’s an awful strategy, Ma. We can’t do it.”
Mama Romano was silent for a long moment, staring down at her own hands, which were becoming increasingly lined and veiny in her advanced age. She needed to eat more, to focus on her health. Instead she was here, trying to get Vince to kill the girl that she believed her late husband loved. It was a tragedy, really, something that would have hurt Vince’s heart if he had more sympathy for his mother after so many years of emotional abuse.
“So, she’s gotten to you, too, I see,” his mother said slowly, carefully a few moments later, crossing and uncrossing her legs but not making any motion to get up. That was odd. Vince had expected to her storm out as a result of his insolence.
“Ma,” Vince said in a scolding tone of voice, “nobody gets to me. Come on, you know me better than that. Nobody ever gets to me.” The words felt weird coming out of his mouth, like his tongue didn’t want to say them or something, but he faked the smuggest smirk he could plaster onto his face for his mother’s benefit.
It worked, at least insofar as his mom cracked a little smile, a small flaw in her otherwise flawless veneer of untouchability. She was like a demigoddess rather than a woman, a vengeful angel rather than a person he should have had every reason to love. They just didn’t work that way. Maybe that was why Vince was so screwed-up, why he could only manage to feel pleasure in strange, outlandish ways. Either way, it was too late to change anything about it now.
“You are different from your father that way,” Mama Romano said, her eyes becoming a little softer as she thought back on her husband. “That’s good. Keep it that way. Hold on to whatever it is that lets you be alone, and don’t let go of it. Let it carry you through the years until nobody can touch you anymore.” She smiled and shook her head at herself. “I’m sorry. Just an old lady rambling to her son. That’s what I am now.”
“Ma, stop it,” Vince said, getting up from his chair to walk around the desk and squatting down in front of her so that they were eye-level. “You’re a beautiful woman, still. And you’re not alone. You got us, me and Guido. We’ll always watch out for you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that,” Vince’s mother said, protesting weakly and waving her hand forward as if it to push him away.
“Of course, you can,” Vince argued. “We’re al
ways going to be there for you. Just say the word, and we’ll help you out. Always.”
Mrs. Romano’s eyes flicked back over to Vince’s, some shadow passing behind them that Vince couldn’t quite identify. “Always?”
Vince felt a tiny little chill go down his spine, his skin prickling uncomfortably as he heard the edge of impatience in his mother’s voice. “What? What do you need?”
Vince’s mother shrugged and looked away again, her face falling back to blankness, the mask of emotion she’d worn just a few moments before nowhere in sight. “Oh, it’s nothing, dear. Nothing at all.”
Vince sighed deeply, getting to his feet to stand over his mom. “What is it? Come on, just tell me.”
Mama Romano tapped the tips of her fingers together a few times, licking her teeth before answering. “The girl.”
“Fiona?” Vince asked, even though he already knew the answer.
“The secretary,” his mother said, stubbornly sticking to the inaccurate description. “She has to go. Otherwise…how will I really know that I can depend on you, Vincey?”
Vince fought as hard as he could to suppress a groan, but he couldn’t keep himself from shutting his eyes and sighing in annoyance. “Mother…I just explained to you why I can’t do that…”