Survivor

by Mary Alford

  “Is that coffee?” he asked instead of commenting any further on my shoeless state.

  “Yes, help yourself,” I yelled at him from my bedroom. I was lying flat on my stomach, reaching for my shoes, which had somehow miraculously found their way midway beneath my bed, when Aaron walked in.

  “Where are you?”

  I was sure that somewhere in some secretarial manual, my current state would no doubt fall under the category of “things not to let your boss see you doing.”

  He leaned under the opposite edge of the bed and grinned at me. “Any luck?”

  “Got it!” With my hand fully extended, I finally captured the last holdout shoe. It was at that moment, looking at Aaron underneath my bed, that I realized again just how gorgeous he truly was.

  I managed to squirm out from under the bed just as Aaron faced me across the top of my slightly worn bedspread. Somehow, I resisted the urge to pat my hair into place.

  Something other than amusement was in his eyes.

  I tried covering my embarrassment by putting my shoes on. “I thought you wanted coffee.” Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite able to keep my voice from trembling.

  Aaron laughed and I suspected he knew everything I shouldn’t be thinking about him right then.

  “I do. I just thought you needed help.”

  “Not anymore,” I said and walked out of my bedroom and headed straight for the coffee pot. Aaron took the mug I’d just poured from my hand before I had the chance to tell him it wasn’t for him. I quickly rummaged through the cabinets until I found another mug and filled it to the rim. Something told me I would need all the caffeine I could get today.

  “Ready?” he asked and I nodded. Then we headed out the door and into what would prove to be one of the longest days of my life.

  Aaron parked in front of the real estate firm and we went inside.

  I found myself seated next to one of the wealthiest and most influential men I would ever meet in my lifetime and watching the staff of one of the most prestigious real-estate firms in Austin all but fall all over themselves to please him, I was aware of things that had never occurred to me before. Like just how important money and power were to so many people and how meaningless all those things were when you considered it.

  After the initial embarrassing moment of being mistaken for Aaron’s wife, then fiancée, and finally girlfriend, all in the space of just a few minutes, Aaron decided to come to my rescue and set the staff straight by telling them I was none of those things. I was only the assistant. At his little acknowledgement, I witnessed several of the office girls’ eyes actually light up.

  They were amazed, and more than a little thrilled that someone who had it all was still walking around unattached. Poor things. I wanted to tell them they’d only be a number to him. But then I had a feeling several had been there before and probably wouldn’t mind going there again for Aaron.

  I’d have to get used to dealing with that sort of reaction from other women equally impressed by Aaron. It was actually kind of fun watching their attempts at getting his attention.

  Obviously someone as important as him required the best in everything, as I was about to discover. We were assigned the owner of the company no less as a driver to take us around to the top five choices in housing hopefuls in the two to three million dollar price range.

  “If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll just check my messages and then we can leave,” the nice Mr. Bennett Wilson told us, nodding politely to first the man with the money and then to me. After all, I’d accompanied the guy so I obviously had some pull.

  “Maybe I should have let them think you were my wife,” Aaron whispered once the older man had left us alone.

  I frowned at him. “Why would you want to do any such thing?”

  “Then we could have avoided this.” He pointed a discreet finger back to the group of women trying hard not to appear too obvious with their admiring glances.

  “You should be used to them by now and anyways, they’re all pretty. You might make some friends here. You know future broken hearts to add to your fan club?”

  Aaron didn’t appreciate my sense of humor. “No thanks. I can live without them, and I have made a friend. My trusty assistant slash pretend wife.”

  Before I could think of something clever to say, our tour guide for the day returned.

  He directed us to his expensive-looking car where he wasn’t happy, but did his best not to show it, when Aaron insisted I take the passenger seat next to him. I’m sure the old guy was hoping he could have some extra time to work up the price limit a bit.

  The first house on our list was on a one-acre lot in the hills overlooking Lake Austin. The house was two stories at just under six-thousand square feet and priced at a reasonable three-and-a-half million dollars.

  After showing us around the place, Bennett was kind enough to leave us alone to discuss the matter amongst ourselves.

  I just couldn’t help myself. I had to ask. “Why exactly do you need a six-thousand-square-foot house again?”

  Aaron gave me a look that seemed to imply I just didn’t get it. “I don’t need anything.”

  “So this is what you want?” I was trying to understand his rich-person outlook on life.

  “No. Grace, it’s just what’s expected of me. It’s hard to explain. It comes with the territory, so to speak.”

  “You mean it comes with the money. You’re saying people will expect you to have an expensive house, drive a nice car. All the things money can buy. Aaron, why do you care what those people think?”

  “Grace…” I could tell I’d only managed to make him more frustrated with me. “I don’t. It’s just part of who I am, okay?”

  “No, Aaron, it’s not. You may have convinced yourself, but it isn’t who you are at all. And no amount of money or things should make one bit of difference to anyone who cares about you.”

  “Sorry, but you don’t know what you’re talking about in this matter. I know you may truly believe those things, and maybe they exist for you, but me—well it’s not that simple.”

  I looked away, pretending to look out the floor-to-ceiling windows of the living room at the spectacular view below me, but the truth was, Aaron’s words had hurt. More than I wanted to admit. What he’d said sounded condescending to me. Obviously, in his opinion, someone with only a simple life like me needed things like God and family to be happy. But someone with more sophistication like himself had more expensive needs.

  “That’s not the way I meant it.”

  I closed my eyes, wishing he wasn’t as good as he was at figuring people out.

  “Isn’t it? Are all rich people as heartless as you?”

  I was hurt and I wanted to hurt him. I’d succeeded. It was there on his face.

  “Is that what you think? I’m so cold and driven that I lack all human emotions? Do I need to remind you, while you may not be motivated by money, you certainly are just as driven by your career choice? Oh, you’d prefer not to talk about it, is that it? I may have lots of sins in my life, but you’re just as obsessed by your career as I am,” he said calmly. I doubted Aaron ever raised his voice. There was no need. He was good at cutting straight through to the heart of the matter without even changing a single octave of his smooth-sounding voice.

  We faced each other. Only a breath of space separated us, and I was aware of things I didn’t want to be aware of with him. How warm and alive and incredibly handsome he was standing so close to me. I tried to keep my thoughts focused on what I wanted to say to him. But he was close and he smelled so good.

  With him watching me closely, I let my mind wander to places forbidden. Before he could ask the questions I saw in his eyes, good old Bennett joined us again with his best discreet expression plastered all over his face. He knew something was going on between us, but being a seasoned professional, he’d probably seen his fair share in a lifetime.

  We spent the rest of the day honoring an unspoken truce. We were polite,
but something had changed between us and it had me worrying how I was going to pull off working with Aaron every single day.

  When Bennett brought us back to his office, once again I was ready to escape from both him and Aaron.

  “Which one did you like the best?” Aaron waited until we were seated in Bennett’s office before asking me.

  With two sets of eyes focused intently on me, I let go of my uneasy thoughts.

  “I can’t make that decision for you. This will be your house. You’re the one who will be living there.”

  Of course, he knew I was still angry with him. He wasn’t too happy with me either.

  “You never know, Grace. And I’d like to hear your opinion.”

  If dear old Bennett hadn’t been in the same room as us, I’d probably given him more than he wanted to hear from me. It was all right there on the tip of my tongue, and most of it not nice. Instead, I simply clenched my fist and tried to keep most of my anger from showing up in my voice.

  “They were all nice.”

  “Spoken like a true secretary,” Aaron replied, and Bennett laughed as if he’d said the funniest thing.

  Only Aaron knew the reason behind my anger.

  Chapter Five

  Back home in my apartment, I got busy cleaning the place from top to bottom. I was angry and hurt, and I didn’t understand any of those emotions.

  After all, I knew the truth. I wasn’t like Aaron, was I?

  He’d told me there wasn’t much difference between us, but he didn’t know me for who I was. Sure, I was driven—determined even. But was I capable of the same cutthroat tactics as Aaron? I couldn’t honestly answer that question and that had me reaching for the phone.

  I needed reassurance from the two people I trusted the most in the world.

  As usual, and almost as if she were reading my mind, my grandmother’s sweet voice came on the line.

  “You need to talk to your grandpa, don’t you, honey?”

  “Yes.” I almost broke down right then and there at the understanding way she knew me.

  “Hang on a second, I’ll get him for you, baby.”

  A few minutes later Grandpa Harry was on the line. “Grace, are you okay? Your grandmother said you needed me. Everything alright there in Austin with that new job of yours?”

  In spite of how close to tears I was, I had to smile. “How does she do these things, Grandpa Harry? How does she always know when something’s wrong?”

  “Oh, honey, it isn’t a secret. It’s just your grandmother’s gift. And it doesn’t hurt that she knows you like the back of her hand either, now, does it? It was the same way with your mother. Knew when she was hurting even before Miranda did. But this isn’t why you called. What’s wrong, honey?”

  “Grandpa, do you think I’m driven in my goals for my life?”

  “Well of course you are. It’s what makes you so successful.”

  This was not what I needed to hear from him. “Do you think I put my goals ahead of everything and everyone, including God?”

  I knew he’d picked up on the hint of panic in my voice. He understood me pretty darn well himself.

  “No, ma’am! That’s not true at all. God knows you love him and you have a good heart. You’ve got your priorities straight. You’re focused on the right things—not on the things of this world. And don’t you let anyone tell you differently.”

  I let go of the breath I’d been holding.

  “Thank you, Grandpa. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this.”

  “Oh, honey, you’re still so young in so many ways. I know you try to be tough but you’re not. In many ways, you’re still a little frightened girl. Don’t let people try to change what you know in your heart. Stop doubting yourself.”

  “I will, Grandpa Harry. I guess I just had my faith tested a little today. I’m so glad I have you and Gran to help straighten me out. You guys are always there for me. Are you on your way to the mission tonight?”

  “Sure am, honey.” I could hear the same conviction in his voice that was always there whenever he talked about his ministry.

  “Grandpa, do you sometimes have doubts?”

  “Of course. Everybody has them. You’re no different,” he said.

  I smiled and told him I couldn’t wait to see them at Thanksgiving.

  Each year my grandparents participated in a Thanksgiving dinner at the mission my grandfather preached at. My grandfather’s church helped prepare the meal, and we always spent the day giving thanks with the nice folks who were not as fortunate as we were. It was our little family tradition.

  I’d been helping them since I was old enough to walk and hadn’t missed a year, even after I left home. I was determined to keep up the tradition no matter what it cost me. I needed the comfort of family traditions more than ever before.

  I was standing in front of my mostly empty fridge, trying to decide what I was possibly thinking I might find in there to eat, when my doorbell rang.

  The only people who ever come to see me were Deb and, on occasion, my pastor and his wife and maybe a few of the nice folks from church. I wasn’t expecting any of those people, and I wasn’t in the mood for company.

  When I peered through the little peephole and saw Aaron standing there, I wanted to pretend I wasn’t home. I would have, too, if he hadn’t said those next words.

  “Grace, I know you’re in there. Please open the door.”

  I closed my eyes at the humble sound in his voice then forced myself to unlock the door.

  “Hi. Can I come in?”

  I couldn’t find any words to say to him. I simply stood aside and let him walk through my door.

  I wasn’t anywhere close to wanting to see him so soon. I needed time and a good night’s sleep for once before I could bring myself to face him with any hope of maintaining control.

  “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you. My only defense is that I guess I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I was too tired to play word games with him.

  “Someone who doesn’t seem impressed by who I am or what I have. I don’t understand not wanting things, money, or possessions. I don’t understand you, Grace, but I want to. I want you and me to become friends. I hope you feel the same way.” He stopped behind me. He was trying to figure out what my reaction was to those words. I couldn’t look at him.

  “I want us to be friends. So can you please say you’ll try to forgive me for hurting you earlier today and then can we just forget the whole thing ever happened?”

  I thought about covering up the evidence of how his words affected me, but in the end, I decided he probably needed to see a little human emotion every once in a while.

  When I faced him again with tears in my eyes, his reaction took my breath away. There was so much pain in his expression just before he closed his eyes and reached out for me.

  And I let him.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Grace.”

  I let him hold me just for a second because it felt good being in his arms, but I didn’t belong there, so I moved away.

  And he let me.

  “It’s okay. I forgive you, but maybe we’d both better watch what we say to each other if this friendship thing is going to work out between us.”

  He appeared a little sad. “I think maybe you’re right. Have you had dinner yet?” he added as I tried to brush away my foolish tears.

  “No, and I’m starving. I was just about desperate enough to eat peanut butter.”

  “I take it this is not one of your favorites?” I cringed in answer, eliciting a chuckle from him. “Then I have an idea. I was able to get permission from Bennett to look at the houses—without him hanging around. Just the two of us. What do you think?”

  While I stood arguing with myself, he continued to try to persuade me. “I was thinking we could order pizza. I do want your opinion on the houses. And I just happen to know where you can get New York-style pizza in this town.”

&nb
sp; Aaron called in the order, and we picked it up on our way over to the first house. We went around to the back deck and sat on the steps near the enormous flagstone outdoor fireplace, eating cold pizza and drinking warm sodas while I wondered if Aaron had ever done anything quite as humble before.

  “So, which one do you like the best, and be honest. Because I have my favorite already.”

  “Well, let me see if I can guess. I’m sure it has to be the most expensive and gaudy of the three, so I’m guessing the last one on the list. Am I right?” I was only half kidding. I just figured because it was the most expensive of the group, it had to be his top choice.

  “Now you’re just being mean and you’d be wrong, Miss Smart Person. Besides, I didn’t ask you to guess my favorite. I asked you to tell me yours.”

  “You want to know?” He nodded and I shook my head. “Okay, well you’re sitting in it, Mr. Severn. This meager, six-thousand-square-foot house is my favorite. But I don’t know how you could ever manage to settle for such a shack.”

  At that point, I think he decided he’d had enough of my teasing. He sat his drink down on the fireplace hearth and picked me up over his shoulder, carrying me inside. I was so surprised and nervous by my reaction to his touch that I couldn’t say a single word.

  He sat me down on the floor. “At least that shut you up, and for your information, this one is my favorite as well. You want to hear why?”

  “Yes.” He took my hand and I let him, all the while telling myself he spelled nothing but trouble for me, friend or not.

  If anyone needed friendship and something to believe in other than possessions and money, it was Aaron. There were real human emotions inside of him, even though he tried to ignore them. I’d seen them. Was it possible to get him to see not all those things he believed to be important in life were worth holding on to? Could I ever hope to make him understand he had so much more to offer than just his money or possessions? I didn’t know the answer, but for the first time since meeting him, I understood the purpose behind all the things that had happened to me recently.