by Jo Leigh
But if she wanted them to be more than friends, she would have said something before now, wouldn’t she? He’d have picked up on it. There had been moments. Looks. The occasional sigh, but nothing concrete. Besides, she was dating this Jeffrey person.
Dammit. She’d raced out of here as if she never wanted to see him again. Bizarre that two of his worst fears would come to haunt him on the same day. One had turned out as well as anything concerning his brother could, but something told him Maggie’s story would not.
Had she ever mentioned Jeffrey before? He didn’t think so. Perhaps he’d forgotten, although that seemed unlikely. He’d always had a vested interest in the men in Maggie’s life. She had no family here in New York, and he’d taken it upon himself to be her sort of big brother. She’d teased him about it, but he thought he’d done a rather good job.
So why hadn’t she spoken of Jeffrey before? Was she trying to hide him? Did she already know that he’d find fault?
Colin sipped his drink, his mind whirling with unsavory possibilities. Nowadays, even someone vetted for Homeland Security could be hiding things. A drug habit, a gambling problem. Maybe he liked to tie women up or…
His eyes closed as vivid pictures swam to his mind, not of some faceless man but of himself, touching the skin of her back. Kissing her. Feeling her body pressed to his.
Dammit. No. He was supposed to look after her, and now all he could think of was the taste of her. No matter what, he was still Maggie’s friend. That entailed responsibilities he wasn’t going to forgo even if she hated him for making her miss her audition. And he had made her. He should never have called. He’d known about it for weeks. He’d even encouraged her to break a leg.
Maggie being Maggie, she’d come to his rescue. No wonder she wanted to leave.
He stood, polished off his drink and made up his mind. She hadn’t been gone that long, and if he hurried, he might still be able to talk to her before she left for the night. He’d be able to check out her date, as well.
This had to be played smartly, though. He’d apologize and make sure they were square, and if he thought for one second that Jeffrey wasn’t the right sort…Well, he wouldn’t want to cheat her out of a New Year’s extravaganza. He would take her to the embassy party. She’d like that. He should have asked her a month ago.
He got out his black suit. He’d have his cell with him in case Blake called, but he must hurry and get to Maggie’s before it was too late.
MAGGIE LOOKED AT HER dress, puddled on the floor of her bathroom, right next to the huge pile of tear-drenched tissues in the bin. She should put some more cornstarch on the stain and hope for the best, but she didn’t have the energy or the desire. Screw the dress. Screw everything.
She shuffled to her bedroom, which seemed tinier than ever. Uglier, too. Why had she ever moved here? She should never have gone to Cambridge or accepted the job in New York. She should have gone to a community college. Gotten married, like her friend Liz, and had a bunch of kids. Whatever happened to Liz? They’d been so close that one year in high school. Liz had been a lot of fun, until she’d hooked up with what’s his name. Until Maggie had moved, yet again.She let her bra and panties drop where she stood and pulled on her flannel cowboy pajama bottoms and the yellow sleep shirt that had the pomegranate stain. It didn’t matter anyway. No one was going to see her. It wasn’t as if she really had a date.
Now she had a big decision to make. Alcohol or Ben & Jerry’s? She’d already started on her way to mindlessness, so alcohol made sense. But the ice cream was that one with chocolate chunks. No contest.
She slipped into her big fuzzy slippers and shuffled through what she called her all-purpose room, but was actually three-quarters of the apartment she’d sectioned off into living room, dining room and kitchen. It used to make her laugh that the whole place would have fit into Colin’s bedroom. Tonight, she didn’t give a damn. All she wanted was a spoon.
In the kitchen, she got just that, then stopped as her gaze hit the bottle of Baileys she’d been given for Christmas. Inspiration struck. She got out her largest tumbler and made herself a Ben & Jerry’s and Baileys float. Brilliant.
With her spoon and a straw in the glass, she curled up on her couch, which was actually a love seat, and turned on the television.
There was Doctor Who. Excellent. The marathon continued. Double excellent. Legs crossed, tears dry, looking almost as bad as she felt, she turned up the sound, hoping against hope that sometime during the night, she’d pass out and not wake up for six months.
THE CAB SITUATION WAS intolerable. All of them were full and there were dozens of doormen whistling them down, his included. Colin debated walking, but the streets were equally insane.
Everyone, it seemed, had decided that midnight was only a suggestion and that celebrations should begin hours earlier. Knowing Jeffrey, he was that sort of buffoon. IT tech indeed. There had to be something wrong with him or Maggie would have mentioned him earlier. The man was probably going to take her to a Star Trek convention or something just as appalling. She’d be mortified and end up calling him anyway, so it was best to put an end to this farce right now.The doorman blew his whistle again, agitatedly waving at every cab, including the gypsies, clearly having caught on to Colin’s desperation.
It was no use. He handed Sonny a twenty for his trouble, and he was off. His wool coat masterfully kept out the biting air, but could do nothing for his face. The icy wind regaled him with staggering gusts, but he pressed on, dodging revelers and those who had already reached their destination of complete oblivion.
Most days, this route was pleasant and colorful. He liked his neighborhood and often walked through it. Tonight, he cursed each crosswalk and stoplight, each brightly festooned shop and every high-heeled woman who mocked him by clinging to her date, laughing at unfunny jokes.
She couldn’t have left yet. She had to choose something to wear, she’d said, and that took time. Damn, but he was glad he’d ruined that red dress. The thought of her wearing it for someone else…
God, what the bloody hell was wrong with him?
He nearly ran down a teenage couple too busy kissing to see where they were going, but sidestepped them just in time. They glared at him as if he were the culprit. He tugged up his collar in deference to the cold and thought of calling her, but he was afraid she wouldn’t answer when she saw his name. Even worse, that she’d tell him to leave her alone and mind his own business.
That was the point—Maggie was his business. They were a team. They looked out for each other. She was always there when he needed her, and he did his damndest to be there for her.
That had been one of the problems between him and Elizabeth, hadn’t it? Neither of them had put the other first, and didn’t that prove Maggie’s friendship was worth fighting for? And didn’t a friend stop a friend from going out with the shady computer jockey who was probably installing spyware on her laptop right this second?
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he stopped to pull it out. Blake, not Maggie. He flipped it on. “Blake.”
“I finally got a connection that’s decent. Talked to Mother and Dad, now you, but it’s got to be short because I still haven’t slept.”
“What happened to you?”
“Lost the equipment. Had to bribe an unreasonable guard. It was bollocks, but I got the story and I wasn’t shot.”
“Good, that’s—Excuse me, I’m trying to cross the street here.”
“Where are you?” Blake asked.
“On my way to see Maggie.”
“I thought she was at your flat.”
“It seems you’re not the only one I have to worry about. She’s off on a date with someone I don’t trust as far as I can throw him.”
“Oh? Who’s that?”
“Jeffrey. He works at Homeland.”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Just a minute.” Colin shoved out his arm as he saw a cab with the light on. “Stop, there. Taxi!” The cab sped
by, and he brought the phone back up to his ear. “What?”
“Who is this guy? A serial killer?”
“I don’t know. That’s the problem. She didn’t even tell me about him until she left.”
“So you’ve never met him?”
“I’m about to. There’s no way I’m letting her go out, tonight of all nights, with someone like him.”
Blake laughed. Really laughed. As hard as he did at his own jokes.
“What’s so damn funny?”
“Jesus, Colin. I’m sorry I worried you. Go to your Maggie. Put your foot down. And Colin. Don’t be an idiot.”
“That’s what Maggie told me to tell you.”
“Well, that makes its own kind of sense. Now run, you fool. Run!”
Colin snapped his phone shut and took his brother’s advice. He wasn’t that far now. He just had to make it before Jeffrey.
MAGGIE TOOK ANOTHER PULL at her Baileys float. It was almost finished, and that wouldn’t do. She’d make another. And if that didn’t make her drunk enough, another after that. It helped that it hardly tasted of booze.
Dammit. There was another episode of Doctor Who coming on, and she hadn’t caught the end of the last one. Oh, well. It was a repeat, and she owned all the DVDs.Colin had introduced her to Doctor Who. He’d been a fan for years, and he’d been so enthusiastic she’d had to watch the new series. They’d made a point of watching it together.
The jerk didn’t even know she loved him. Had loved him forever. He treated her as if he were her brother, a strict brother at that. For a guy who was just supposed to be her friend, he sure cared a lot about who she dated.
Why couldn’t that kiss have been the real thing? Was that too much to ask? It had felt as real as anything, but his eyes had told her the truth. Great. So he wouldn’t throw her out of bed. That’s not what she wanted. She loved him.
Oh, crap. The truth was, she’d spent the past six years of her life living in the world of magical thinking. If she could only get a part on Broadway, then she’d be happy. If only Colin loved her the way she loved him, then she would feel alive, be complete. All hopes and dreams and pie in the sky and all of it a waste. It was time to stop. Just stop. Cold turkey. She’d leave more than this horrible apartment behind. No more pining away. No more singing lessons or acting classes. And no more Colin.
Really, who did he think he was, questioning her about her love life? She could go out with whomever she wanted. Take Jeffrey. He was probably a wonderful guy. Her unconscious had pulled him up for some reason, right? He was more than likely her destiny. The man who would sweep her off her feet. Although he was a little chubby to literally sweep her, but metaphorically, he was probably a regular Romeo. Only older, and not into poison and better with computers.
She spooned out the last bits of ice cream. She didn’t even get dizzy as she went the five steps into her kitchen to fix another.
Just as she was about to pour the Baileys in the glass, someone banged on her door. It was loud and urgent. Crap, the building was probably on fire. It would be just her luck tonight. This old rattrap was bound to go down in flames.
“Just a minute!” She grabbed the blanket off the couch, slung it around her shoulders, then threw open the door.
7
OF ALL THE POSSIBLE scenarios that had run through Colin’s head on coming over here, Maggie looking like a crazed beggar woman hadn’t occurred once. He had no response to this. In fact, he thought his head might just explode.
“What the hell?” she said, her voice somewhere between affronted and furious.“What the hell indeed.”
“What are you doing here?”
He shook his head, trying to clear it. “What are you doing here?”
“Quit repeating what I’m saying.”
“I have no words.”
“Clearly.”
“Where’s Jeffrey?”
“What?”
He took a step inside. “Where’s Jeffrey?” he asked again, only louder.
“He’s late. Why are you here?”
“Late?” Colin took another step to look inside. There was hardly reason to. The whole apartment could fit on the head of a pin. “You going to a costume ball?”
“What’s it to you?” she asked, pulling her god-awful throw tighter over her stained T-shirt.
“You never mentioned him before. I want to know what you’re playing at.”
“Tough. I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”
“Too bad. I’m going to give it anyway.”
With a loud huff, Maggie slammed the door shut. “I don’t want you here.”
“Then why’d you close the door?”
She put both hands out as if she were choking him. “Go home, Colin. This is not your business.”
“You are my business.”
“Why? Why do you care who I date? You don’t even care who Blake dates and he really is your brother.”
“You’re different.”
“But why? And if you say it’s because I’m a girl, I’ll castrate you myself.”
That made him stop. And think. He stared at her for a long while, her face a blotchy mess, her clothes a horror, and it didn’t matter. Nothing she could do would matter. “You’re my friend. I care about you.”
“Oh, go to hell,” she said, the cold in her voice as shocking as the words.
“What?”
“You heard me. Go to hell, you and your friendship. Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want to be your friend? That being your friend is too goddamn hard? It’s done. It’s over. I want you to leave right now. And don’t call me. Ever.”
She choked on that last word and her face utterly fell apart. She covered herself with her hands, but there was no way to mask her sobs.
Colin’s heart twisted with her pain and his own. He had no idea what the devil was going on, but this was unbearable. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight, wanting to make it better.
She didn’t mean what she’d said. She couldn’t. It was all madness, and his fault for always expecting her to be there for him. Selfish bastard. If only he’d thought. She wouldn’t be so angry with him and she wouldn’t be crying.
“Shh,” he whispered, rocking her. “It’ll be all right.”
She pushed his chest, forcing him to let her go. When she looked up at him there was such pain in her eyes. “I know,” she said so softly he barely heard her. “Please, just go.”
His thoughts were everywhere and nowhere, and he couldn’t make a cogent argument for staying. Then again, he couldn’t leave. “No.”
“Please don’t make this harder.” She opened the door for him and stood with her head down.
Neither of them moved. A door shut somewhere down the hall. Horns honked outside. He couldn’t hear her breathe or see if she was still crying, and everything in him told him if he left now his whole world would come crashing down.
She was right. He didn’t care about Blake’s love life. Well, he did, but in a totally different way. The thought of Maggie being with someone got to him as few other things did. Someone unworthy, that is.
Someone…else.
“Oh, shit,” he said.
Maggie looked up.
“I’m a complete idiot,” he said.
“I know.”
He closed the door with his elbow as he took her by the shoulders. “A bloody fool.”
“I know.”
“That’s why…Elizabeth was…Even Blake said—”
“Colin?”
He looked at her crossly. “Why on earth didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That I’m in love with you.”
Her mouth opened and her puffy eyes widened as much as they could. “Oh.”
“I’ve loved you all this time.”
She swallowed and blinked. “All this…” Her head drooped for a long moment, and then she met his gaze again. “Colin?”
“Yes?”
“Either you kiss me
right now or I swear to God…”
When he let go of her arms, Maggie wrapped them around his neck and they met with a kiss that changed everything. He loved her. He’d loved her as long as she’d loved him. He was an idiot, but he was her idiot. He loved her.
HIS LIPS SMOTHERED ANY other thought and she didn’t care what she looked like, or that her ice cream was melting, because this was crazy wonderful.
She found herself lifted straight up off the floor and her legs wrapped around his hips as he carried her, still ravishing her mouth, straight back to the bedroom, to her ridiculous little bed.He put her down. Looking at him, she could see her own amazement echoed on his face, in his smile. She threw off the blanket and pulled off her sleep shirt. By the time it was over her head, his jacket was on the floor and his shirt was half-unbuttoned. He’d left her no room to stand so she got hold of his waistband and undid the button. He stopped her at the zipper. “I’d better do that.”
She understood when she saw it wasn’t a straight line down. Considerably.
Instead, she shimmied out of her pajama bottoms, which she tossed away with her foot. Her aim wasn’t all that great as they landed mostly on his head.
Hearing him laugh was like icing on a cupcake. Watching him strip was more of an adult entertainment, but just as sweet.
As if they’d done this a hundred times, he climbed on the bed and scooped her into his arms. She’d wanted to be naked with Colin for so long that she closed her eyes and wiggled her whole body against his.
