Gators and Garters

by Jana DeLeon

  Ida Belle took a hard left, and I was so deep in thought I almost banged my head on the window. Gertie wasn’t so lucky. I heard her slam into the door, then start cussing Ida Belle.

  “What the heck was that for?” Gertie said.

  “Car wash,” Ida Belle said as she pulled up to an older man with a clipboard who was giving the SUV a disapproving stare.

  “Darn kids,” Ida Belle said when she rolled down the window. “Threw a bag of trash off the overpass and onto my vehicle.”

  The disapproving stare disappeared and he shook his head. “I don’t understand what’s wrong with kids these days.”

  “Their parents?” I suggested.

  “You’d be right on that one,” he said and stuck a ticket in her window. “No charge. Just pull up until that light turns red and we’ll do the rest.”

  “So what do we do now?” Gertie asked. “Are you going to tell Carter about Dexter’s girlfriend and the longbow thing? I don’t guess you can talk about the conversation you overheard at the motel as you sorta broke in on that naked guy and tied him up.”

  “Not to mention you blew the motel dumpster sky-high with your bag of things nightmares are made of,” Ida Belle said to Gertie.

  “You have a rocket launcher and he got over it,” Gertie said.

  “Because without it, Fortune would have died,” Ida Belle said.

  Gertie waved a hand in dismissal. “Details.”

  “At least it was trash this time and not the vending machines,” I said. “Although I’m guessing that clerk is never going to give me information again. I kinda promised him I’d leave the premises. He didn’t want trouble.”

  “Then he shouldn’t be working there,” Gertie said. “Everything about that place is trouble. We’re just shining a light on it.”

  “You set off a bomb on it,” Ida Belle said. “Twice.”

  “Details,” Gertie said again.

  “And this time it would have blown us to bits if Fortune hadn’t thrown it out of the car,” Ida Belle said. “And so help me God, if you say ‘details’ I’m going to shoot you right here in this car wash and pitch you out into those jets where all the forensic evidence will be washed away.”

  The giant turbines cranked up the wind on the SUV and I was happy to see that the trash seemed to have washed off. Hopefully, there wasn’t anything that would mar the paint, or Gertie was never going to get to ride in Ida Belle’s vehicle again.

  “What happened?” I asked Gertie.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Something must have been hot enough to set off one of those bottle rockets, which sparked the dynamite.”

  “Something?” Ida Belle asked. “You mean something like you dropping a lit bottle rocket into your purse?”

  Gertie shrugged. “Who knows? Does it really matter? Everyone is good, even the dumpster, and I have a spare handbag. The only loss is the bottle rockets, which I was planning to use at your bachelorette party.”

  Ida Belle shot her a look of dismay and I laughed.

  “You know if you keep talking about this party, Ida Belle’s not going to attend,” I said.

  Ida Belle exited the highway and headed for the road to Molly’s house. I scanned the tree line as we turned onto the road and spotted the two boys sitting in their tree-house fort. Ida Belle pulled over as much as possible without running into the ditch and I climbed out of the SUV.

  “Hi, guys,” I said as I approached, judging their ages at around nine and ten. “I was wondering if you could help me.”

  The first boy shook his head. “You’re a stranger.”

  I pulled out my ID and held it up to the tree house. “I’m a private detective. Does that make a difference?”

  “You don’t look like a detective,” the second boy said. “Where’s your hat and magnifying glass?”

  “It’s too hot for the hat, and around here a good pair of binoculars comes in handier than a magnifying glass.”

  “That’s true,” the second boy agreed. “What do you want?”

  “Were you guys out here Monday afternoon?”

  “Unless it’s raining or we’re eating, we’re usually out here,” the first boy said. “Only got one TV, and Mom watches those daytime shows. Yuck.”

  “So you probably notice everyone who drives by, then.”

  They both nodded.

  “We like cars,” the second boy said. “Don’t get to see too many good ones around here, although that SUV you got out of is way cool. You can hear the engine miles back. I bet it’s fast.”

  “You have no idea,” I said. “So, on Monday afternoon, did you happen to see an old white Hyundai with a rusted roof drive by?”

  “Yep,” the first boy said. “It’s a crap car but that don’t mean you should treat it badly.”

  The second boy gave a solemn nod. “People who don’t take care of their cars should have to walk everywhere.”

  “I’m going to buy a Ferrari when I’m a grown-up,” the first boy said. “And I’m going to wash and wax it every single day.”

  “That’s a great plan,” I said. “Did you see the car leave?”

  They frowned and looked at each other, then shook their heads.

  “No, but we got called in early because we had to take a bath,” the first one said. “Our aunt was coming to visit. We always have to take a bath when she’s coming to visit.”

  The second one rolled his eyes. “She complains about stinky boys but she lives with a hundred cats. You ought to smell her house.”

  “Yuck,” I said, which made both of them giggle. “What about a black Dodge truck? Older model?”

  They shook their heads, and I was about to thank them and leave when something occurred to me.

  “Maybe you heard it—sounds like there’s a hole in the muffler?” I asked.

  “Oh, that one,” the first boy said. “Yeah, we left the fort to go exploring, but we heard a big engine with bad exhaust. Could have woken the dead.”

  “Are those people the bad guys?” the second boy asked. “Because the person driving the truck isn’t going to sneak up on anyone.”

  “No, I expect not,” I said. “Tell you what, I’m going to leave my card down here wedged in the steps. If you see either of those vehicles pass by here again, can you call me?”

  “What if our mom won’t let us?” the first boy asked.

  “Don’t be such a baby,” the second boy said. “Mom don’t need to know. We’re helping catch bad guys. That’s more important.”

  “I don’t want you to get in trouble,” I said. “And under no circumstances are you to chase after those vehicles if you see them. Do you understand?”

  They both nodded.

  “I mean it,” I said.

  They glanced nervously at each other.

  “Are they dangerous?” the first boy asked.

  “That’s what I’m trying to find out,” I said. “So promise me you won’t go anywhere near either of those vehicles or the people driving them.”

  The second boy shrugged. “Mom would kill us anyway if we got outside of shouting distance.”

  “Good,” I said. “Thanks for helping.”

  “Will you come back and tell us when you catch the bad guys?” the first boy asked.

  I smiled. “Sure.”

  I headed back to the SUV and as Ida Belle directed it toward Sinful, I filled them in. When I finished, Gertie threw her hands in the air.

  “Of course they were both here that day,” she said. “No way this could be easy and we could have narrowed it down to one.”

  Ida Belle sighed. “I figured after that conversation you overheard between Dexter and Marissa that we had our answer. But now we have to consider Silas all over again.”

  “I never stopped considering him,” I said. “Maybe he’s just a wife and child beater and an opportunist, but I have a hard time reconciling the fact that both of the man’s children die in the same way and he benefits.”

  “Especially given that neither had
a relationship with him,” Gertie said. “I can see where Johnny wouldn’t have had a will. Most men his age don’t. It’s just not something they think about, but I can’t figure out why Molly didn’t. Not with the way things turned out for her brother.”

  “And yet Silas claims he is the beneficiary of an insurance policy that Molly acquired,” I said. “We need two things—the name of the insurance agent who wrote that policy, assuming there actually is one, and the name of the attorney who Molly saw about those documents Dexter claimed to have signed.”

  “Assuming there actually is one,” Gertie said.

  “Yeah, assuming,” I said and shook my head. “I thought more information was a good thing. Now we have information overload.”

  “And everything makes all of them look guilty,” Gertie said.

  “Maybe they are all guilty,” Ida Belle said.

  “You think they are all in it together?” Gertie asked. “That doesn’t seem likely.”

  “I can’t see Silas colluding with anyone or anyone wanting to collude with Silas,” I said. “But I do think all of them are hiding things. Shady things.”

  “So how do we sort it out?” Gertie asked. “We seem to have hit a wall getting information on Molly and Johnny. We’ve talked to everyone who knew them well enough to know anything.”

  “Are you going to tell Carter what we found?” Ida Belle said.

  I blew out a breath. “I’m going to have to think on that. So far everything is circumstantial. Sketchy as heck but we don’t have anything concrete. But since Carter does have access to Molly’s house and records, he would know some of the things we’re missing.”

  “Doesn’t mean he’ll tell you about them,” Gertie said.

  “Oh, I’m positive he won’t tell me about them,” I said. “But I’m wondering if the best thing I can do for our client is give Carter the information. It might fill the gaps he needs and he’s the only one who can bring people in for questioning. All I really want is to get justice for Molly and answers for Angel and Nickel. I don’t really care who ends up with credit for it.”

  “I really wish he’d just do that shady small-town thing and let you in on things,” Gertie said. “You’re not any more likely to be injured doing your job than he is doing his.”

  “Given that Carter doesn’t spend much time around you and your handbags, that’s not exactly accurate,” Ida Belle said.

  I laughed but I was already thinking about the conversation I needed to have with Carter. Then as if thinking about him summoned him, my phone rang.

  “Someone blew up a dumpster at the motel,” Carter said. “I don’t suppose Gertie is short a stick of dynamite?”

  “What motel?”

  “The one with the exploded dumpster. I suppose you don’t know anything about the guy rolled up in his comforter, either.”

  “That doesn’t sound like something I’d be involved in.”

  “Given what he was wearing—or the lack thereof—it sounds exactly like something you’d do, and his description was rather specific, right down to your bra size.”

  “Gross.”

  “So you want to tell me why you broke into that guy’s room and assaulted him with his own bed linens?”

  I gave it a moment’s thought. I was planning on telling Carter about Dexter and Marissa anyway. And given that Naked Dude and the clerk could easily identify me and I’d given the clerk my business card, it seemed like a waste of time to keep denying things.

  “Dexter might be in the room next door to Naked Dude,” I said. “Dexter and his girlfriend.”

  “What?”

  “Look, we found out some things today that you need to know. And before you say it, I know you can’t give me information and honor and police stuff and blah, blah, blah, but if those two were responsible for Molly’s death, then I want them to go down. So does my client. The only manner I have to take care of that personally isn’t exactly legal and probably not advisable.”

  “Probably?”

  “Nobody likes Dexter.”

  “Okay. I’ll take down some information and meet you at your house in about thirty minutes.”

  “Ally is at my house.”

  “Then meet me at the sheriff’s department.”

  I hung up and sighed.

  “Naked Dude ID’d me,” I said.

  “How could he?” Gertie asked. “There are plenty of hot blondes running around southern Louisiana.”

  “Probably not many that can single-handedly immobilize a guy in a comforter,” Ida Belle said.

  “He knew my bra size,” I said.

  “Gross.”

  They both spoke at once.

  “My feelings exactly. Anyway, the description and the exploding dumpster pretty much had us dead to rights, so I couldn’t see any reason to lie about it. When we get to Sinful, just drop me off at the sheriff’s department and I’ll go face the music.”

  “Do you think we have enough for Carter to arrest them?” Gertie asked.

  “I think we have enough for suspicion of murder,” I said. “But we don’t have enough to make a case.”

  “Hopefully Carter has some evidence from the boat,” Ida Belle said. “Put it together with what we have and he might be able to make a case to the DA.”

  I nodded. Everything we knew was damning but it still wasn’t right. I was missing something and I had a feeling that it was right in front of me but I couldn’t see it.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I figured Carter would be a while getting to the sheriff’s department, so I headed over to the General Store to grab a soda and chat with Walter. I hadn’t stopped in since my last food pickup, and I was interested to see if he was as nonchalant about the upcoming nuptials as Ida Belle was. He looked up as I walked in and gave me a huge smile. Gertie was always saying if she were younger she’d go after some guy, but I had the opposite thought. If I were older, I’d be shoving Ida Belle in front of a bus and going for Walter.

  Walter was thoughtful and kind and despite the fact that he didn’t run his mouth, he didn’t miss much. He was funny and smart and so handsome with his silver hair. No matter when I saw him, he always had a smile for me and he always had time. If I was being honest, Walter was the father I would have liked to have had. Life would have been so much simpler. But maybe simple wasn’t part of my journey.

  “You flying solo today?” he asked as I grabbed a soda and pulled up a stool in front of the counter to sit on.

  “Nope. Been flying with company all day today but I have to meet Carter in twenty minutes, give or take. So I figured I’d pop in here and check your blood pressure. You ready for the big day?”

  I didn’t think Walter could get any cuter but the blush that crept up his neck was priceless. Ida Belle had really won the lottery with this guy. And even though I knew and respected her reasons for not marrying him sooner, I still found myself wondering why the heck not.

  “I suppose I should be,” he said. “Lord knows, I’ve had plenty of time to prepare.”

  “Couple decades at least.”

  “A bit more than a couple but I’m not telling.”

  “Ida Belle isn’t telling either, so you’re safe.”

  “What are you meeting Carter in town for? You having a bite over at the café?”

  “I wish. Unfortunately, I’m in trouble.”

  He chuckled. “You don’t say.”

  “I know. Shocking, right?”

  “What are you in trouble over this time or can you say?”

  “A naked guy tied up in a comforter and an exploding dumpster.”

  Walter’s eyes widened. “That sounds like the start of the kind of joke you tell in a bar.”

  “It kinda ends that way too. Let’s just say it’s been an interesting day.”

  “So this naked guy—I thought the bachelorette party was this Friday.”

  “It is. And trust me, no one wants that guy rolled up in the comforter dancing there. Not even Gertie. We were actually on a case.
There was this conversation I wanted to overhear at the motel and things didn’t go smoothly.”

  He stared at me for a couple seconds, then started to laugh. “The three of you are going to be the death of Carter.”

  “What about you? Your lady is right in that mix.”

  He shrugged. “I know Ida Belle thinks she’s going to give me a heart attack with her behavior, but the truth is I turned that one over to the good Lord years ago. Figured he was the only one who had a chance of getting through her hard head. I just try to keep my worry to a minimum and my knowledge of what she’s doing to even less than that. Ida Belle does her part by refusing to tell me stuff.”

  “I wonder if Carter will ever get to that point with me,” I said.

  “Can’t hurry these things. After all, it’s hard for two old dogs to change their ways.”

  “Carter’s not that old. His ways shouldn’t be set in concrete yet.”

  “I was talking about me and you.”

  “Oh. Ha.”

  “The truth is, you’ve had a lot more adjusting to do than Carter. A lot more compromising. You had to realign the entire scope of your life. Relearn everything you knew about everyday living. About friends and family. That’s a big load on a person in a short amount of time. Carrying that load can get a bit heavy.”

  “I guess. But you know, it hasn’t been as bad as you would think. Honestly, the CIA weighed heavier on me than living here, even though I knew everything about the agency and nothing about this place and the people. And even though it seems like nothing fits quite right at times, it also feels like where I’m supposed to be. Does that make sense?”

  He nodded. “Does to me. You’re good people, Fortune. And you finally found your place among other good people. People who rely on you and people you can rely on. People who care about more than if you’re good at your job. I don’t doubt for a minute that you were a darned fine agent, but I’d hazard a guess that you’re even better at what you’re doing now. I know for certain you’re more important to those around you. Important in the ways that count most.”