Craving Me, Desiring You

by C. M. Stunich

  I finally find my own words, separate from my books, from Sali Bend, from my mother. My words. Mine. To go perfectly alongside my Austin and his.

  “I love you, Amy Cross. I think I have from the moment I first met you. I was just too stupid to realize it, too scared to care this much, try this hard. But I'm gettin' my shit together, and I promise you this: as long as I'm alive and breathing, I will fight through fire to be with you. I will climb mountains.” Austin uses his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I will ride through deserts.” He pauses and tries to smile at me. My body clenches tight around the toy, wishing it were him in there instead. “I'll even suck on your weird ass purple cock, if that's what you want.”

  I close my eyes.

  “I'd do the same for you,” I tell him. And then I open my eyes back up and wrap my arms around his strong neck. “I love you more than I can possibly say, but I'm going to try.” I lean in close, squeezing my thighs together. Austin, God bless his heart, reaches down and cups my ass in a firm grip. “I love you like the stars love the sky, like the moon loves the sun, like the daylight loves the night. You twist my insides into knots, curl my toes, and take my breath away.” I smile. “You make me want to spout poetry and quote Shakespeare, say things meant solely for the pages of greeting cards.” I kiss his mouth softly. “You make me comfortable enough to want to be myself.”

  “Alright, that's it.” Austin uses his other hand to cup me between the thighs. “Enough of this lovey shit. At least out loud anyway. If we're going to continue, let's use body language.” I groan as his fingers find the toy, sliding it out slowly and then pushing it all the way back in. I bite my lip. “Put your bra and panties on for me?” I nod as Austin drags the dildo out and steps back.

  “Keep it,” I say before he has a chance to toss it on the floor, put it in a drawer, whatever. It's … covered in my juices, so I'm not quite sure what the appropriate place might be. I swallow hard. After a heartfelt confession like that, how can I ask such a dirty thing? Well, because my name is Amy Cross, and I read romance novels – proudly. I don't care if a hundred people hear me snort with laughter, flush at the embarrassing connotations of black and white words, or flash naked men on the front covers of my reads. Fine literature can only be defined by how hot the sex scenes are. Well, at least in my book. “I want you to put it in my mouth.” I don't even blush when I say it. Instead, I take a step back, drop my skirt to the floor and proceed to strip off my very tasteful, very dull, laceless, nude undergarments.

  “You are one crazy chick,” Austin says, lounging on the bed in the pillows, one hand behind his head, the other wrapped around the toy. “But that's why I love you.” He pauses. “Fuck, that was a whole hell of a lot easier than I thought.” He watches me change into the thong and the push-up bra with a hooded gaze. “Can you ever forgive me for not saying it sooner?”

  “I can forgive a lot of things,” I whisper, looking down and admiring the way my skin seems to glow with a pearly light, framed beautifully against the dark lace of the bra. I turn and take a nervous glance at myself in the mirror. Gone is the girl with the dull brown hair and the boring eyes, a girl whose father once compared her to a placid lake with no clouds to mar its stillness. Today, with my eyes rimmed dark with lust, my lips full and swollen, my hair mussed, I look positively wild. I make a sexy expression with my face, and I don't feel like a child anymore. This time, I feel like a woman.

  I turn back towards Austin and saunter towards the bed – never previously having sauntered before, I think I do quite a lovely job at it. When I get close enough, Austin grabs me around the waist and pulls me to him, kissing me full on the lips and sliding on top of me, his hard muscles brushing across my soft skin. When he looks down at me, I know there's not a single other place in this world that I'd rather be.

  Chapter 34

  Austin

  Amy lies beneath me, a goddess if I've ever seen one. Her chestnut hair spills around her heart-shaped face, framing a beauty that's almost unreal. Maybe it's because I have feelings for her, because my heart swells when she walks into the damn room, I don't know, but I can say without a doubt that she's the most attractive woman I've ever seen.

  “You sure you want this?” I ask her, holding up the toy. Amy bites her lips and looks away meaning, yeah, she does. Even if she's almost too embarrassed to admit it. I take the toy and slip it between her lips, surprised at how tight my muscles clench when I watch it disappear down her throat. I start to pump the dildo in Amy's mouth, enjoying the way her eyes flutter as she tastes her own juices, moaning as I fuck her hard with it. I position myself to slide into her, letting go of the toy and grabbing her hips. “You are such a dirty, little girl, aren't you, Amy Cross?” I ask as I thrust deep, filling her completely. Amy uses her own hand to tease me with the toy, sliding it out of her mouth and flicking her tongue across the tip. She caresses it so lovingly, sucking it deep again, tasting it with a moan, that I get jealous, ripping the damn thing from her grip and sending it flying across the room.

  “Austin Sparks!” she groans in pretend outrage, raising her hips to meet me. “I think you broke a vase.” I lean down and growl against her ear.

  “You can use toys all you want, but I want you to remember how much better I feel.”

  “Oh, God, yes,” she breathes, sliding her legs around me. I sit up, thrusting my hips hard, enjoying the scrape of her panties as they caress my cock with every stroke. I didn't bother to take them off – this here's half the fun. Amy's full breasts jiggle, barely trapped in the lacy darkness of her new bra. I like the look of it so damn much that I have half a mind to throw out all her other stuff and cram the drawers full of this. Lace is a mighty, mighty fine invention. “You feel so good, Austin,” she whispers, making me grit my teeth just to hold back the rush of hormones. I feel like I could come a hundred times and stay hard. There just isn't enough time in the world to make me feel like I'm finished with Amy Cross. I feel like I could fuck her forever and be happy every second of it.

  “I want to see you above me,” I tell her, deciding to switch our positions. I pull out with a grunt and roll onto my back, taking Amy's hips as she straddles my belly, reaching down and guiding my cock back to its rightful place in the universe. She takes me in fully, right down to the last inch, sitting on my hips with her lip stuck between her teeth and her eyes half-lidded. “You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my damn life,” I tell her, deciding that a truth like this is better out in the open. Amy smiles as she starts to move, dipping her hand into her panties and finding her clit. I know the moment she makes contact because her entire body clenches tight around mine, squeezing me so hard it's like she's just begging me to come inside of her.

  My fingers curl into the bedspread.

  “You're the most handsome man I've ever seen in mine,” she replies, and I can tell she's telling me the truth. I reach up and rest my fingers on her belly, splaying my hand over the spot where my child's going to be spending the next few months. Couldn't think of a better place to be. Amy stops moving, sliding her hand back out of her panties and leaning into me, eyes drooping closed with emotion. “Are you scared?” she asks, but I'm already smiling, moving my fingers to the back of her neck and pulling her down for a kiss.

  “The only thing in this world I'm scared of, Amy Cross, is losing you. Everything else is a Goddamn cake walk.” My tongue slides into her mouth, tasting her, absorbing her heat. We stay locked together like that, hips grinding, bodies soaked in sweat, until we find our orgasm. Our orgasm. Amy and I come together, like the fairytale couple that Gaine's always believed in, but I never have. Until now. Until this moment. This single, perfect Goddamn moment.

  Chapter 35

  Austin

  I wake up the following morning with a big ass fucking grin on my face. I've always been a sort of vanilla motherfucker when it came to sex, but being with Amy makes me want to lay on the kink. Woo. I swear to myself that I won't ever be complaining about those romanc
e novels of hers. No sane man would after seeing the things I seen. Son of a motherloving bitch.

  I sit up in bed, glancing down at Amy's sleeping face. She's angelic when she's like that, all sweet and innocent. The dirty girl part's all buried beneath the surface. I bend down to kiss her forehead, trying my best to ignore the raging hard-on I got under the sheets. When the phone rings, I almost toss the damn thing out the window. Except I know better than that. We're in limbo right now, resting between disaster and success. I gotta bring this club out on top or I ain't worth my shit in salt.

  “'Ello,” I answer, not recognizing the number on the caller ID. Probably should've given me an indication that something was up, but I'm still sleep and sex addled. Got Amy Cross on the brain right now.

  “Austin, listen to me very carefully.” It's Tax. My hard-on disappears like it ain't ever been, and I swing my legs to the floor, muscles tight, anxiety wracking my brain with worry. I get this little itch in the back of my skull. This is it. This has to be it. With their clubhouse empty, I knew it was going to come down to this. “Broken Dallas and Bested by Crows are flying under new colors, as The Branded Kestrels MC, and they're on their way to pay you a little visit. I got a friend of a friend who runs guns on the side, and he told me he refused to sell them any shit after our little showdown. Word is though that they got another source. They still owe me for that crap they pulled at the warehouses.” Tax pauses, and in the heavy silence, I can tell it's more than just that. He's worried about his little sister. “We're on our way to pay them a little visit, but it sounds like they're going to get to you first. I suggest you come up with a plan.”

  My heart is pounding, but I ignore it. I'm ready for this. After months of this ridiculous fucking crap, I'm going to end it. What kind of President would I be if I didn't? I don't need to bring my baby into this shit. Time to calm the tempest.

  “I got a plan, brother,” I tell him, hoping he doesn't take offense at the term. This is going to be tough, ain't got no doubts about that, but it has to be done. “I've had one brewin' in my head for a while now. We'll be alright, but if you are inclined to take your vengeance today, I would much appreciate the assistance.” Tax grunts and I hear the sound of bikes revving in the background. I guess when he says he's on his way, he really fuckin' means it. “But we can hold our own while we wait. Don't worry about your sister, Tax. Beck would die before he'd let anything happen to her.” Tax growls.

  “Yeah, well, he better considering she's eighteen fucking years old and pregnant. That's the least that son o' bitch could do for her.” Tax pauses. “But we won't worry about that right now. I'll give your Sergeant at arms an earful later. Let's just try and see if you can live through the night.” Tax hangs up the phone, leaving me with the gentle sound of Amy's breath and the whir of the fan.

  I put my elbows on my knees, close my eyes and take a deep breath.

  “Austin?” I look back at Amy and find her with a gun clutched in her small, pale hand. My pregnant woman is lying there nude with a Goddamn revolver. “Are you alright?”

  “Where in the hell did that come from?” I ask, turning to face her and noticing that my erection is back. Not at all appropriate, but what the hell? Who gives a flyin' fuck? Amy smiles softly at me and shrugs gently.

  “Kimmi gave it to me after I caught her and Christy kissing. I think it was supposed to keep me quiet.” She smiles wickedly and lays the gun against the blankets. “But today I think it might just help to save my life.” I nod at her, proud to be the man she chose to have in her life. I lean down and press my hot mouth against hers, tasting courage and love and fear. But that's what makes her brave. If you don't fear something, then rising up against it doesn't make you brave. Courageous, maybe. Strong. But not brave. To be brave, you have to fight against something that scares you. That's the rule.

  “It'll be alright, Amy. I won't let anything happen to you.” She smiles at me and presses her palm against the side of my face.

  “I know.” She sits up straight and presses a smoldering kiss to my lips again. My heart is ready for this battle, ready for it to be over, but my dick wishes we had an extra half an hour or so. I give Amy's tit a squeeze for good measure, toss her a wink and stand up. A certain cool calmness drifts over me like fog.

  President.

  I'm going to earn that term today, even if it kills me.

  Chapter 36

  Amy

  Austin doesn't suggest that I run and hide, disappear while this battle wages at the place I'm just starting to realize truly feels like home. And I don't mean the house. The house is nice and my room is perfection, like a page torn from a magazine. What I mean, though, is Austin. Austin feels like home, and as long as my presence doesn't distract him from what he's doing, I'm going to stay by his side.

  “Beck.” Austin bursts into the room, using the ring of keys that leads to every room in the house. He's the only one that has a copy. I smile apologetically at Tease as she tugs the sheets over her breasts and turns to look at us over her shoulder. She's sitting in about the same position I was last night, so I understand how disturbing this must be. I pretend I don't even notice that she's straddling Beck's body, or at least that I don't know that he's probably inside of her at this moment. I keep my face stoic. “We got problems.”

  Right away, Tease rolls off and Beck rises to his feet. I look away from his exposed erection and again use those wonderful skills of pretending to imagine that I don't see it.

  “Where?” Beck asks, voice all militaristic and harsh. When I sneak a peek at his face though, he's grinning. Austin's mouth is set in a grim but determined line. He's wearing Triple M's jacket, the black leather a nice contrast to the white T-shirt underneath. The three M's of the logo smile back at me as I touch my fingers to my own leather sleeve. I wore jeans and black boots, without heels – unfortunately, I'm no Kimmi. Austin and I essentially have dressed in matching outfits. It seems appropriate, like a military uniform or something.

  “Here,” Austin says as Beck spews some colorful curses and grabs a pair of jeans from the floor. He slides them on while we stand there and wait. “Broken Dallas and Bested by Crows – The Branded Kestrels – ” Austin slurs his words, dragging his Southern drawl through the mud in disgust, “are on their way here. Now. With guns. Probably some big ones like the M16s I saw before. Get ready. Start boarding up the inside windows, all along the back and front. Leave only enough space for a barrel or a knife to peek through. We're making a stand.” Beck whoops, raising a T-shirt high, like a flag. Austin glances over at Tease. Her face is drawn and determined and I know that, like me, she won't be leaving. We fight here today, as equal members of this club, as partners to our men, as women who are allowed to be sisters in a brotherhood.

  “We'll be ready in two minutes,” she assures us both, nodding her chin and letting the sheets fall, as equally unembarrassed about her nakedness as her lover is. She tucks some red hair behind her ear as we turn to leave. “Or less.”

  Austin salutes them with a grin of his own and takes us down the hall, stopping in each room, giving orders to every single Triple M'er he passes by. Everyone is important here, and today, everyone is a part of Austin's plan. I couldn't be more proud. He's had this in him all along, has simply refused to see it. Today, he lets it shine bright.

  We go downstairs next, finding Gaine and Mireya in the kitchen, beers already clutched in their hands. It might be early morning, but the rules of drink don't apply here. If anyone in this club wants a Goddamn beer, they get one. I smile.

  “Get your weapons and your shit together,” Austin says, pausing only briefly in front of them. “We got trouble. Our old friends are coming to settle the score, and we're going to make sure it ends in our favor. Help Beck and Tease board up the windows.” Austin only pauses to take a small breath. “Where's Kimmi?” he asks as his friends set down their beers and grab some sheets of plywood that are leaning against the walls. There's no wasting time here. Everything has to be done just s
o, laid out just right. The goal here isn't just to win, I know that. Austin's told me before that his Code of the Road demands respect and requires intention. Today, we intend to show that we won't be disrespected, that this is where we stand, and that it's time to leave us the fuck alone. But I know that Austin isn't willing to gamble any of our forty members for that. We need to make it through this with as few lives lost and as few wounded as possible.

  “At the other house,” Gaine says, but we're already halfway out the door. Austin orders everyone inside, has them lock up the garage and post sentries inside to guard the bikes. We continue across the yard and straight up into the other house.

  “Kimmi, we need everyone out of here and ready to stir up shit.” I smile at Christy who's sitting on the end of an old countertop, blushing at me. I smile back, just to let her know that I don't care how much time she spends with Kimmi Reynolds, that even if she fell in love with her, it wouldn't matter. Heck, I smile bigger to let her know that if she doesn't like Kimmi, if she changes her mind, if she chooses another life, whatever, that I'll still love her. We lock gazes for a moment.

  “Oh, Lord,” Kimmi groans, grabbing her bag of tools and hoisting it onto her shoulder. “It's time, isn't it?” Austin nods once, briskly.

  “Time to sweep Kent and his garbage and all our excess baggage under the rug and be done with it. Time to show them what we're really fucking made of.”

  Chapter 37

  Austin

  The worst part of any war is the waiting, the silence that precedes that single burst of sound, that explosion of action and pain and death. All of that happens in an instant so quick, it may as well be the blink of an eye. What makes it so hard, so much more painful, is all of this quiet beforehand. I've got my group positioned exactly as I want them, each person in their place, each pair of hands a cog in this ticking time machine. Amy is by my side, as she should be, as I always hope she will be. In my hands, I've got a gun.