Within The Shadows

by Julieanne Lynch

  What a load of horseshit! I thought.

  Alex interrupted my train of thought as he placed his hands on either side of my face, and pulled me to his lips. His lips met mine. I tried resisting his mouth, but soon found myself falling for the same sweet aroma that poured from every crevice of his body.

  It was irresistible. He was irresistible.

  Hell. What had I gotten myself into?

  ‘Hell’ was the operative word.

  Chapter Eight

  THE NEXT FEW hours before sunrise were a mixture of misery and confusion. I smiled pleasantly as I was wished well. Congratulations flowed out of every mouth, and all the while, Atarah and Leonid sat back with smug grins on their faces. Well, on her face.

  I felt like a fraud. I did not love Alex. I could not bring myself to think of him as anything other than a vampire. I did not see him the same way I once did. He had forced me into an impossible situation, and he was now wholly responsible for my fate.

  As dawn approached, weariness got the best of me. I wore it well upon my face, getting the attention of an unwanted admirer.

  “Dearest Giselle, you made a beautiful bride, but I dare say the events have taken their toll on you.”

  His bluish-black hair was a striking match for his blue eyes. He caught me off guard, and I forgot myself.

  “Yeah. You could say I’m done in, but others might suggest otherwise.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Well, it is common knowledge that the wedding night follows the vows.”

  Laughing, he brushed his hand through his shiny black hair. “But one must comply with one’s pledge.”

  “You don’t say!” Mockingly, I laughed, and it was obvious I amused him. “And you are?”

  “How rude of me. I am Antoine Vilniv. It is a pleasure to meet you, Your Grace.”

  His bow made me laugh. He was very different from many of the vampires there that night. He was not serious. He was funny. It definitely helped with the seriousness of my situation, and had me at complete ease; kinda odd, considering what had just taken place.

  “Nice to meet you, too, Antoine.”

  “Now that the formalities are done with, tell me, how does it feel to be the one to snag his Lordship?” His sarcasm was a breath of fresh air.

  “Put it like this, I’m a little afraid, and so not ready for any of this bullshit. The deed has been done. Better to get on with it, and hope for the best. I’m curious, though. What do you mean I was ‘the one to snag him’? If I am being honest, I always thought he was gay!” I lied.

  Antoine laughed hard. Atarah looked over, and her stern look said it all – condemnation. I felt my cheeks flush, and broke her gaze to find Alex standing by my side.

  “So, this is where all the fun is to be had?” he remarked as he slyly flashed his fangs.

  “Cousin, your bride has a mammoth sense of humour. You must bring her to court more often.” He kissed me on the cheek, and took Alex by the hand. A firm handshake took place. “Congratulations. She is truly beautiful.”

  Alex nodded his agreement, and placed his arm tightly around my waist, possessively. We passed the reducing crowd, and bade our farewells to Atarah and Leonid.

  I felt sick thinking about being alone with Alex. I did not trust myself, and I did not want to lose control. Atarah pulled me off to the side. She clearly had something on her mind.

  “I trust that your little encounter the other night didn’t result in you losing too much of your virtue.”

  I began to defend myself, only to have her brush me off.

  “If you feel nervous, you must follow a man’s lead. He will teach you to be a lover. But to throw caution to the wind, it would be wise to remember that the whole purpose of the consummation is to become ‘tehotna’ – pregnant. Always remember your place, Giselle. Sleep well, child.”

  She placed a kiss on my forehead. Atarah’s demeanour was beginning to change, and this frightened me almost as much as the thought of losing my virginity did.

  “Goodnight, children.” Leonid bowed, and the two of them walked out of the hall, leaving me alone with Alex.

  Sunrise was imminent, and as Alex led me away from the hall, I again felt sick. Once in ‘our’ room, nervousness crept in, and I instantly feared the inevitable. I was completely vulnerable.

  He took me by the hands, and directed me to the bed. I trembled as he embraced me. His strong torso almost crushed my head. He held on to me for a few minutes before breaking away. Looking down at me, he pulled the pins from my hair, allowing it to fall loose around my shoulders. Not making a sound, he walked behind me, unzipping the dress. It fell to the floor, leaving me standing there in my underwear and heels.

  He brushed his hand over my abdomen, sliding his fingers across the top of my panties. Gently kissing the back of my neck, he slowly opened his mouth, his fangs brushing against my skin. I shivered, shaking with anticipation, fear, and excitement rolled into one.

  Alex turned me around to face him, his eyes aglow. I could feel the pull of desire, and, trying not to give in, I moved away from him, hitting the solid wall behind me.

  Watching me, he stripped, throwing every piece of clothing to the floor. Naked, he walked up to me, pushing me hard against the wall, and bit deep into my neck. The pain was unbearable, and I cried out. He drank from me incessantly, not letting go of my wrists.

  Soon enough, the pain turned into something else. It spread deep from within, a fire bursting through me. I could feel him, every thought and feeling he had. I could sense his arousal and his anger. He wanted to teach me a lesson, but his longing and lust for me ruled his emotions. I easily gave in to the wanting.

  He loosened his grip, and immediately, I ran my fingers through his hair. God, I wanted him so badly. He broke away from my neck, his lips red. Licking them, I tasted my own blood, and it stimulated every sense in my body.

  We gazed at each other. Pulling me by my hands, he thrust me down onto the bed, and moved directly over me, removing my underwear. His hands and mouth explored parts of me that had never been touched.

  I never thought that being submissive would be a turn on, but believe me, I had never desired anyone so much. At that moment, I was his. I was the object of his desire.

  Kissing him as his strong arms supported him, he eased himself into me. I tightened myself, almost afraid of the act itself. I stung, and the burning sensation that intensified inside me began to simmer as something changed. The pain became something else. Light ripples of euphoria tingled its way throughout my body, leaving me breathless as I pulled him closer to me, our bodies moving in rhythm.

  We were as one. All the anger I felt towards him melted, and in its place, I found myself longing for him and his body. He made love to me as I had always imagined. It felt magical, and with each movement, I craved him more. He brought me to the peak of ecstasy more than once. My body writhed uncontrollably each time.

  Afterwards, I lay in his arms in silence, and guilt welled up inside me. I longed for my mother. I wanted her to hold me, and tell me all would be ok, but I knew deep in my heart that nothing could take away my addiction to Alex, and I dreaded the future.

  Sleep refused to come to me. I fought hard with my conscience. I tried to find some place in my mind to escape to, but nothing could save me.

  I silently crept out from under Alex’s embrace, and put the dress on. Leaving the room brought a great sense of freedom, if only momentarily. I felt alive. I wanted one thing only, my mother.

  Walking down the long corridor, I knew exactly where I was going, and concentrated on getting to the one place in which I knew I would have a chance of getting in touch with my mother. Before entering the room, I looked around, making sure no one saw me. I was pretty confident they would all be fast asleep.

  The rain hit hard against the window of Afanas’s study. The raging wind that accompanied it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge. I riffled through the drawers in search of anything that gave me a chance
of talking to my mother. As Alex had told me earlier in the week, I was permitted to call home weekly. Now was the perfect time to make contact.

  I found a myriad of items. Books, many of them in another language, some files with dates and times, and then there it was, a file with my name on it. Taking it out, I sat down on the floor, and opened it up.

  Every detail was accounted for, my date of birth, my parents, everything down to my favourite foods, dislikes, and Marc. Why did they need so much stuff on Marc? He was of little importance, just my one-time boyfriend, and the love of my life.

  A list of names stood out. Half of the female faculty of my school, De La Salle, back home in Minneapolis, were listed. One name stood out amongst the rest – Evie Stokes.

  Christ.

  I could not believe Afanas had a file on me. I was even more shocked that Evie was listed amongst ‘the desirable candidates.’ What was going on?

  Shocked, I did not hear Afanas as he entered the room. Once I realised I was not alone, I shoved the paperwork under the sofa, and tried to look innocent. He was as surprised as me.

  “Giselle!” He moved lightly across the floor. “What is it you require at this ungodly hour?”

  I glanced at the clock. “It’s only five p.m.”

  “In your old world, yes, it is early, but here, this is still the night. I’m sure you’ve noticed your daytime schedule has changed somewhat.”

  “Yeah, I guess a lot of things have changed. Why aren’t you still asleep, then?” I asked as I got to my feet, trying not to draw attention to the file under the sofa.

  “One has been restless, and as always, there is so much to be done.” He sat behind his desk, and eyed me. “What is it you want?”

  “I . . . I was hoping to call my mother. I’m a little homesick, and I just . . . you know, wish she were here.”

  “Of course, you are home sick. It is natural for one to seek comfort in the arms of one’s mother. After all, you are still human, so to speak.”

  “So, can I?”

  “Yes, you may. Please take a seat.”

  I sat down, and crossed my legs. Afanas looked through his drawers. He seemed confused. Agitated, he scratched the tip of his chin, and looked at me.

  “Strange. I swore I had left your contact details in here, but I’m sure I’ve only misplaced them. Do you, by any chance, know your own number?”

  “Yeah,” I snickered at him.

  “You dial zero, zero, one, and then your own number . . .”

  “Yeah, I know the rest. Thanks.”

  I picked up the receiver, dialled the number, and waited nervously for someone to answer.

  “Hello,” my mother answered the phone sleepily. Her voice sounded the same as always, soft. God, I missed her so much.

  “Mom, it’s me.”

  “Giselle! Oh, honey. We’ve been so worried. Your poor father is beside himself with grief.”

  “I’m sorry. I really am. I just . . . I had to get away for a bit . . .”

  She cut me off. “This is so typical of you. Why didn’t you just tell us that you and Marc had some kind of falling out? We could have helped. I would have helped.”

  “Mom, not even you could fix it.”

  “Have you any idea what we have gone through these past nine days? Marc is absolutely distraught. The poor boy doesn’t know what to do with himself. Whatever he has done, surely it is worth forgiving?”

  “Oh, Mom. You really have no idea, do you?”

  She paused. “No, just that you two had a falling out at the prom. Or something like that. I don’t listen to idle gossip,” she lied.

  “Mom, the gossip is true. Marc slept with Evie, and recorded it. Someone thought it would be great to leave a copy of it in my locker. I have never been so humiliated,” I cried, the tears falling over my hand as I held the phone to my ear.

  “Don’t cry, Sweetie.”

  “How can I not cry? I love him, or at least I did. I’m so sorry for putting you through this. I promise I’ll make it up to both you and Daddy soon.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. I just wish you’d told me before now. Maybe, I could have done something. Please come home, Giselle.” Her voice broke.

  She pleaded with me, but the look in Afanas’s eyes told me to end the conversation.

  “I can’t, Mom. I just can’t. I’m sorry. I’ll call you soon. I love you.” I cut her off before she could say any more, and cried.

  Afanas put his cold hands on mine. My tears fell uncontrollably over my reddened cheeks.

  “Don’t burden yourself with such grief. Things are better this way. I think it would best that you retire for the rest of the evening. It will do you some good.”

  I whispered, “Okay,” as I sobbed, walking to the door.

  Leaving the room, I walked in a daze down the hall. The cold air caused by the wind crept in through every gap and crevice in the vacant hall. It whistled eerily as I tried to control my emotions. I felt depressed, and lacked the will to carry on. I wanted to end it all. Maybe death would help me escape this nightmare. Suicide could not be any worse than what I was going through.

  A loud crash caught my attention. I spun round, realising one of the bay windows had opened. The curtains flew angrily over me as I stretched out to grab a hold of the handle. Looking down, I considered how high I was. Just high enough to cause serious damage. Maybe even fatal damage.

  Breathing heavily, I grabbed a hold of the windowsill, balancing myself as I placed my legs over the ledge. The wind violently blew my dress around my legs, its coldness meeting the warmth of my body, and sending a series of shivers through me. Closing my eyes, I slowly let go of the windowsill, and edged slightly forward.

  “If you’re serious, I can help you think of less painful ways to die.” A voice came from behind me.

  Antoine.

  “But I doubt you are serious at all,” he mocked.

  “You don’t know me. Okay! Don’t you dare try to assume what I’m capable of.”

  “Then jump. I dare you.”

  The words echoed through my head, and for a split second, I let go of the ledge, and leaned forward. Gazing at the ground below, I seriously considered ending it all. As Wilde himself stated, ‘The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it,’ and boy, was I yielding.

  I felt Antoine’s hand slide around my waist. Aromas of roasted nuts, apples, and cocoa danced in my nose. I inhaled the infusion, and let him pull me clear of the window ledge. Once I was in the safety of the hall, he quickly let go. His dark blue eyes fixed on mine.

  “What in hell’s name were you thinking of?” He raised his voice, but not loud enough to attract unwanted attention.

  I stood trembling. The realisation of what I had almost done hit me smack in the face. “I . . . I . . . I can’t take anymore of this. I’m just not strong enough.”

  “So you decide to climb out of a four storey window?”

  “It seemed right at the time.”

  “How could you think killing yourself would solve anything?” There was genuine concern in his voice.

  “I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling any more. I . . . I wish I’d wake up. That this was all some bad dream.”

  “Giselle, I can’t even compare myself with you, but I can offer you this, I think it takes a strong-willed person to turn their fates around. I believe you are strong enough to overcome your fears, and embrace your new life. After all, if you were to return to your ‘normal life,’ things would never be the same. You would have a hunger, and nothing you’d consume would ever satisfy you. You must realise that!”

  “I don’t know, Antoine. I mean, I’m just some high school girl who believed in happily-ever-afters. My heart got broken, and now this . . . I don’t love him. I can’t. Too much has happened, but he’s got some kind of power over me. I lose control of all my senses, and something takes over . . . I hate it!” I wept.

  Crying in his arms felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders
. Antoine was very different from Alex. He listened, and offered advice. He knew all the right things to say. He seemed so real. He attentively brushed my hair as I sobbed into his chest. I held onto him tightly, afraid to let go, but I was also afraid that temptation would latch on to my weaknesses. If it were not for the red glow of his eyes, I could not have felt more at home.

  Chapter Nine

  SHOCKED BY MY sudden feelings towards Antoine, I pulled myself out of his arms. Awkwardness replaced the warmth of our embrace. I found myself clamming up, embarrassed by my feeble attempt at suicide. His deep blue eyes fixed their gaze on mine. Ignoring their lure, I made light of the encounter, trying desperately to focus on something other than him.

  “I guess I better go. I’m pretty sure Alex will be worried. Thanks for not letting me fall to my death.”

  Smiling, his fangs glistened in the moonlight. “I would save you no matter how grim your fate was. And if I were Alexander, I’d be worried, too. Good day, sweet Princess.”

  Bowing before me, he looked up at me. His eyes spoke a thousand words, and at that moment, my heart melted.

  Wake up, girl! What are you thinking of?

  I rushed back to the room, not once looking back to see if Antoine watching me. I felt guilty. I knew I had not done anything wrong, but thinking about another while my ‘new husband’ slept was not the act of a ‘good’ wife. Trying to concentrate on the day/night ahead, I indulged myself in a hot soapy bath. I avoided looking at the darkness between my breasts, and allowed my body to be submerged by the bubbles.

  Heaven.

  I felt his presence before he spoke. His scent was unique, and I was now fully aware of his every move. Alex was now a part of me. He was a permanent fixture in my life, and there was no escape from it or from him.