Within The Shadows

by Julieanne Lynch

  I know Daddy hates me, and blames me for your illness, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you more than anything in this world. You made me a good person. I know that, at times, I make silly choices, but I’m still your little girl. I always will be.

  Poor Ryan and Kevin are going hate me for doing this, but I’ve got to go. Please go easy on them. They don’t make half the mistakes I do. They’re great guys, and you should be proud of them.

  I need you to get well, because when I get back, I’m going to need you more than ever. You’re my backbone, Mom, and don’t ever forget that!

  Tell Daddy I am sorry, and that I love him.

  I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.

  I love you!

  Giselle

  XXX

  I left the letter sitting on my bed, walking quietly down the stairs, and out of the house. Goodbyes are hard enough without the knowledge that you may never see your mother again. Thus, I left the place where I belonged, and carried the burden heavy on my heart.

  ***

  Walking down Elm Grove seemed to take an eternity. I passed people who were surprised to see me, but the only person on my mind who mattered was Marc. I had one chance to be with him, body and soul, and I was not willing to let anything get in my way.

  I had made this same journey many times over the past four years. Not once had I ever felt this nervous. My insides twisted with anticipation, and with worrying every so often about the possibility of Marc rejecting me. I would not be able to handle that. After his being with Evie, it was now my personal mission, and I had to fulfil that ambition.

  When I approached the drive, I noticed that neither Richard, nor Deborah’s cars were home. I continued up the path, only pausing for a few minutes, composing myself before I rang the doorbell.

  Breathe, just breathe!

  Marc came to the door before I had the chance to press the bell. He was as surprised as I was to find I had actually gone to him.

  “Err . . . hi!” I said sheepishly.

  “Hi!”

  “I . . . I didn’t want to leave without having the chance to say goodbye properly.”

  “I was just heading out,” he murmured, barely looking at me.

  “Can’t I come in for a minute?” I asked, trying not to sound desperate.

  “Um . . . Yeah sure.” He avoided making eye contact with me.

  I followed him inside. Our argument from before still lingered in the air, and I could sense the awkwardness that was building between us. He looked gorgeous. He wore his usual distressed jeans, white t-shirt, and open shirt combo. Freshly shaven, and totally irresistible.

  “What do you want, Giselle?”

  “I want you. No one else, just you. I can’t leave with so much anger between us. I want us to clear the air, once and for all. Please.” Finally, I begged.

  “Okay. We’re done. You forgive, and well, I . . . I’m ready to call it quits. I won’t be bothering you anymore.”

  I could not believe what he was saying. This was not going the way I had planned. I felt like a failure, but with a little more fight inside, I refused to admit defeat.

  “Marc, I want to be with you tonight. I want us to be together, even if it’s just this once.”

  I moved closer to him. My heart pounded within my chest as I touched his face. Its smooth texture felt like silk. I longed for him to touch me back. I wanted to feel the electricity flow through me, and wanted to give myself to him completely.

  It was not long before he looked into my eyes. My heart ached when I saw the want in his. I gently took his hand in mine, and led him up the stairs to his room. We stood in silence by his bed. Nerves built up inside me as we moved closer together.

  Marc drew me close to him. The aroma of his skin smelt sweet and woody, and made me want him even more. I could feel his heart pick up pace as he kissed me gently. I parted my lips, and the kiss intensified, becoming urgent as our tongues slid over each others. I pulled at his shirt, letting it fall into a heap on the ground. As he undone my shorts, I slipped my t-shirt over my head. His hands gently touched my back as he opened my bra, revealing my bare skin. Touching him through his jeans, I could feel how aroused he was becoming. I tugged at his belt, and unfastened the fly; jeans and boxers fell to his feet.

  Collapsing onto the bed, Marc was on top of me, kissing my collarbone as his sweet breath danced across the surface of my skin. His fingers explored my body as my hands ran feverishly over his back. My heart blazed like the sun as our bodies wrapped around each other, our flesh becoming one.

  In time with each other, our bodies moved with eagerness. He felt so good to me. Not one moment went by when he did not look into my eyes. He watched me as he brought me close to climax, pressing his body harder and closer to me. When I reached orgasm, my body exploded like a burst of stars falling from the sky.

  Marc gently moaned as his body shivered on top of me, contracting his muscles. The intensity of his climax floated into me, and I tasted his energy, its fire exhilarating my very core. And then I panicked, and pushed him off me. I did not want to drink from him. Confused, he lay beside me, breathless as I controlled my urge. Closing my eyes, I willed the desire for his life source to go, and slowly, I opened my eyes. Finally, I was able to rest my head on his chest, and I waited for sleep to come to me.

  Listening to the sound of his heart beating in time with my own, I felt the touch of his hand against my back. His fingers gently circled around me, sending a shiver down my spine.

  “I love you,” he whispered softly.

  “I love you, too.”

  “Then don’t go,” he said with sadness in his voice.

  “Oh, Marc . . . I wish I could stay, but I can’t.”

  “Why? Surely, you can just walk away from this commitment you’ve made?”

  I sat up, pulling the covers over my chest. “It’s not that simple.”

  “Come on, Giselle, please. No more lies,” he pleaded with me.

  Grabbing a hold of his white t-shirt, I pulled it over my head, and sat back down beside him, letting him wrap his arms around me.

  “You wouldn’t believe me.”

  “Try me!”

  “Okay, but you won’t like it,” I warned him.

  “I’ll be the judge of that.”

  “Alex isn’t who we think he is. Remember that guy who came round earlier? He is Leonid Baranski, Alex’s dad.” Confusion swept across Marc’s face. “I kinda left with Alex the night of the prom. He took me in, and whilst there we kinda hooked up. Now, he wants me back, and I’ve kinda made a promise, a favour to him and his family. They now want to call in that favour. That’s all I can tell you.”

  I left out the bit that described them as blood-sucking monsters, and incestuous, as well as the fact that I was to have a baby who was to be a saviour to some and a dictator to others.

  Marc loosened his hold on me. “You mean to tell me that you and Alex . . .”

  “No. We didn’t, although it was close,” I lied.

  “So, what is this promise you made?”

  “I can’t . . . I’m sorry. I know it sounds so frigging screwed up, and, believe me, I don’t understand it, but I’m going, and there is no stopping this.”

  “I won’t let you go,” he shouted. “I’m not going to sit back on my ass when my girlfriend is being forced into something she doesn’t want to do. Hell, I’ll shoot the mother . . .”

  “Marc, listen to me,” I interrupted him. “You cannot mess with these guys. They are so deadly, you would never stand a chance. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  He shook his head. “Jesus, G, this is totally insane!”

  “Promise me, Marc. If you love me, you will do this one thing for me. Stay away.”

  I threw myself into his arms, crying. I felt him tremble as he shed his own tears.

  “I just can’t give up on you!”

  “Then don’t! Just wait for me.”

  He did not argue with me after
that. Eventually, I fell asleep in his arms.

  Chapter Fourteen

  THE MORNING LIGHT woke me. Marc was still fast asleep beside me, his breathing soft and relaxed. He looked peaceful. Intent on keeping it that way, I gently climbed out of the bed, and dressed. Careful not to make a sound, I tiptoed to the side of the bed, and bent down. I kissed him softly on the forehead.

  “Goodbye. I will always love you,” I whispered as tears filled my eyes.

  Leaving the room, I did not look back, and silently snuck out of the house into the morning sun and the waiting car. I left what had happened behind at the door, and prepared to embark on the rest of the nightmare that was to become my life.

  I did not know what was becoming of my heart and mind, but one thing I was sure of was my desire to run, to run away from everything. Knowing that I was soon to climb between the sheets with my so-called ‘father-in-law’, I hesitantly began to pray to the Goddess. It was crazy, I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  Closing my mind to the present, I called Lilith forth, begging her for guidance and strength. My hand held on tight to the charm Antoine had given me, and with pure grit, I pleaded.

  “Goddess Lilith, help me. Keep me patient and strong. Help me to trust your wisdom, and resist the coward’s way,” I muttered to myself as the car moved forward.

  Antoine never asked any questions, and I was not about to tell him anything. He read through the morning papers, mumbling to himself, and shaking his head. The Star Tribune’s headlines caught my attention, Kenwood Cyclist Dies, Children Killed Before Fire Started, and Youths Aged Fifteen Arrested Over Homeless Man’s Murder.

  “Your humans have no regard for life. They care nothing about consequence,” Antoine blurted out, laughing. “Makes one wonder why we bother killing them when they’re so intent on doing it themselves. Fickle little creatures, aren’t they?” He looked at me as I scoffed at his comment.

  “Maybe we humans aren’t perfect like you, but we have morals,” I fought back.

  He laughed. “Morals? Dearest Giselle, humans have long lost their moral high ground. They are answerable to no one other than the Underlord himself. After all the chaos they cause, is it any wonder their God has turned his back on them? Remember, sweet Princess, you are no longer one of them. Must I keep reminding you of that?” He was sarcastic.

  We spent the remainder of the journey in silence. I would not give him the satisfaction of getting into another debate. I had the feeling he would always have the upper hand, and well, I hated losing, so it was better to just stay quiet.

  We approached a private airstrip, east of Minneapolis-Saint Paul airport. The car came to a stop outside a hangar. Antoine immediately opened the door, and got out of the car. I sat back, trying to stall the next leg of the journey.

  I failed.

  I was practically pulled from the back of the car, and forced to stand beside Antoine. We waited whilst a large man with long black hair spoke into a cell phone. He nodded, and then ushered us forward.

  All around me were super-sized men wearing matching black clothing. Each one had a little earpiece, and talked into his wrist. It felt surreal. I could not understand what all of the security was about. Though, curiosity always got the better of me.

  “Anyone would think you were protecting the President,” I sneered sarcastically.

  “We may as well be. You’re precious cargo.”

  “Me?” I asked, stunned. “Jesus Christ!”

  “Who else would need the protection of The Knights of Cernunnos?” He was so pleased with himself. “Bearing in mind that you are to be our vessel, we cannot afford to have any harm come your way.”

  I sighed. “There’s that damned word again, ‘vessel.’ Can’t you come up with something a little more original?”

  “Like?” he asked, amused.

  “Like . . . I don’t know. The Mother of the Damned, or something like that. Jesus, just lay off that other bullshit! It’s starting to grate on me,” I snapped.

  Laughing loudly, he grabbed a hold of my hand. “Mother of the Damned. I like it. Now, come. We have a long journey ahead. On the way, you can fill me in on your little adventure last night. I do love a good romance story.”

  “You’re sick, you know that?” I stepped in through the cabin door.

  “I know, but you love it.” He was right, though. I loved the way he teased me.

  Complete luxury welcomed me as I sat down in a cream reclining chair. Its soft leather fabric moulded to the shape of my body. To the left of the cabin was a mini theatre, a ceiling to floor flat screen TV playing in the background. Plush green carpet ran throughout the entire cabin. A bar stocked with all kinds of liquor took Antoine’s attention.

  He sat down beside me, a cognac in one hand, and a vial in the other. “Just a little something to kick-start the journey.” He smiled, and his radiant blue eyes flashed the all too familiar shade of scarlet.

  Flight attendants dressed in red paced frantically up and down the aircraft, securing doors, checking drink decanters, and doing the usual security checks of their own, watching me as they passed. I felt myself flush every time I caught someone looking at me.

  Antoine gazed at me. He wore a smug grin on his face as he swigged from his crystal glass. “You know, you’ve got a particular glow about you today. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but I’d say you got some last night.”

  “You are so crass. I swear you disgust me sometimes.” I avoided making eye contact with him as I did not want him to see through me.

  “Ah, crass, I may be, but I, Giselle, could never disgust you.”

  He was so irritating. “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because, unlike the others, I know things. You, my sweet Princess, will always be in my life.”

  “Here we go again. Riddles, bloody riddles! Why can’t you just talk to me like a normal person, and spare me the headache?”

  He chuckled, which infuriated me further. “Where would the fun be in that? Besides, I love the fight, this battle of wills. If anything, I think you rather like it, too.”

  Anger flashed within me. I could feel it absorb every particle in my body. Taking him by surprise, I pounced on him. With strength I never knew I had, I grabbed him by his neck. The strong smell of his scent mixed with alcohol consumed me, its odour almost knocking me out as it filled my head.

  Dizziness rapidly followed, but, fighting back, I looked deep into his eyes, keeping a tight hold of him as I hissed. “I hate you just as much as I hate Alex,” I lied. “So don’t flatter yourself. I would never be yours in a million lifetimes.”

  He laughed as I was pulled off him, and led to the back of the cabin like some prisoner. “That’s my girl,” he chuckled.

  “Watch this one. She’s a loose cannon!” a tall, garish man bellowed as I was flung into one of the many empty seats.

  Sitting there alone gave me plenty of time to think. My mother telling me she was sick kept playing over and over in my mind. How could I have been so blind? All the signs were there. I was just too caught up in my own childish problems to notice them.

  I regretted leaving her again without any kind of explanation. I worried that maybe I had seen my mother for the last time, and my heart sank. She was not the easiest person to get along with. In fact, there were times when she was downright rude and stubborn, but she had a heart of gold, and would do anything for me.

  She was always there to wipe the tears away. She was always the one to give me sound advice, even when sometimes I did wonder where all her fight came from. But, most of all, she was my best friend, someone I could count on. Right now, all I wanted was for her to tell me what to do in this impossible situation.

  I drifted into a dreamless sleep, and awoke to the thud of the plane landing. I jerked myself upright, my neck aching from the position I had been in, and wearily I rubbed my eyes.

  Antoine sat across from me. He looked brilliant, and wore his usual grin. It annoyed the life out of me,
and I wanted to restart what I had begun earlier, but my plans were thwarted by one of the Knights of Cernunnos.

  “Come, my lady. His Highness is waiting for you.” He spoke eloquently.

  I looked at Antoine, waiting for him to say something, anything, that would reassure me. Instead, he said nothing, and watched me as I was led through the cabin and out the door.

  The cold air hit me hard in the face. The wind blew my hair angrily over my face, and I fumbled, trying to tie it back in place. Rain pelted down hard on me as I made my way to a waiting jeep. Slipping in a puddle of water, I fell to the ground, landing hard on my back. I gasped out in pain. Looking up into the overcast sky, cold rain fell into my eyes, stinging them. I lay there motionless, just willing my life away, ready to let go. Instead of succumbing to my wishes, I felt warm hands lifting me up, helping me upright onto my feet.

  It was Antoine. Worried, he looked me up and down. “You know the part where I said you were ‘precious cargo’? I meant that quite literally.”

  “Jeez, I only hurt my ass.”

  “Hmm, all the same, we can’t take risks,” he remarked sternly.

  He pushed me toward the open door of the jeep, and I climbed in, wincing in pain. He followed, helping me as I secured my lap belt.

  The island was vast, and looked dead. Mountains and fjords passed us as we made our way uphill. The journey was uncomfortable, and I swear I thought my back was broken.

  “Where are we?” I asked Antoine, who looked equally uncomfortable.

  “Somewhere Alexander would never find you.”

  “What kind of answer is that?” I shouted over the chatter of the two men sitting in front.

  “It’s the kind of answer that won’t land you in trouble.” He laughed. His beautiful smile and messy hair would melt any cold heart, but God, he was irritating.

  “Who the hell am I going to tell? It’s not as if I’ve been given a calling card to ring home!”

  “You are persistent. We are on an island in the Southern Indian Ocean. That’s all I’m giving away. The rest is up to Leonid.” He folded his arms, and looked out of his window.