Within The Shadows

by Julieanne Lynch

  My stomach churned as I stepped closer to the outer wall. I knew now that there would be no turning back. Alex would have sensed me by now, and something inside told me he was already waiting for me. Without further delay, I stepped through the thick wooden gate, and walked past the orange trees into the courtyard where my welcoming committee was ready to meet me.

  Atarah and her mother, Angelika, stood beside the group of elders who had performed the blessing at my consecration. Alex stood at the front, his eyes blazing amber. I could instantly sense his rage, and I knew he wanted to kill me.

  Without a second thought, I did the only thing I could think of. I ran into his arms, and held on tight to him. Not needing much effort, tears left my eyes, and spilled down my cheeks.

  “Alex, you wouldn’t believe what they were going to do to me!” I sobbed, putting on my best performance.

  He was rigid, and I knew he had his doubts. His anger flowed into me as I held on tight. I was too afraid to look into his eyes, and kept my eyes closed.

  “Where have you been?” he asked bitterly, pushing me away from him. He placed his hands on either side of me, and squeezed hard. “Don’t lie to me. Where. Have. You. Been?” he roared into my face.

  This time, my tears were real. I was frightened, and I could barely speak. Shaking me, his face became twisted. His rage was about to erupt.

  Screaming from both pain and fright, I cried out, “Hell . . . They took me to Hell!”

  Confusion spread across his face. He looked back towards Atarah who calmly stood with one finger pressed against her chin. She nodded.

  Turning back to me, he asked, “Who took you?”

  “The shadows. They came and took me. I was so scared!” I fell back into his arms.

  This time, he embraced me, and tried to calm me down. “No need to worry now. You’re safe. You’re home!”

  The words sent a wave of fear through me. Coming to my senses, I broke free from his arms. I wanted to hit him, to spit in his face. Hell, I wanted to rip his throat out.

  “Where were you? Did you even try to find me?” I shouted.

  I clenched my fist, and hit him as hard as I could across his face. My wrist hurt from the impact, but the adrenalin was now flowing, and I did not want to stop. I had to release all of my pent-up anger, and this was the best and only way. It was my turn to toy with him.

  “Do you even love me, huh?” I asked through gritted teeth. “Most ‘husbands’ would travel to the ends of the Earth and back to find the love of their life, but no, not Alexander Baranski! No, he’d rather sit back on his friggin’ ass, waiting for her to come to him! Have you any idea what I’ve been through?”

  “Enough!” he shouted. “We’ll discuss this in private.”

  I chortled. “Private? Don’t make me laugh. If I remember correctly, nothing we do stays between us.”

  “Don’t be so childish.”

  “Excuse me? Are you serious? Look at me, I am a child!” I pushed past him, and walked through the crowd that had gathered.

  “Where are you going?” he roared.

  “To bed!” I shouted back at him, and continued walking until I was away from their shrewd gazes.

  I closed the front door behind me, and ran up the stairs to the room I had shared with Alex. Everything remained the same. My room was exactly the way I had left it. Messy, but the bed looked inviting, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

  I stripped off my clothes as I made my way to the bed, but nausea overcame me. I ran to the bathroom, and heaved until there was nothing more I could bring up. Defeated by my own body, I lay on the cold bathroom floor, and waited for the spinning to stop. I did not know what was happening to me. I felt weak, and I believed I could not possibly feel any worse than I did at that moment. I have no idea how long I lay there, but finally the spinning faded, and I was able to lift my head from the ground.

  Alex stood by the doorway, watching me as I struggled to get to my feet. His face was stiff, and his expression was severe. I stumbled as I clung onto the basin. The dizziness continued, and with it came a profound heat, as though I was burning up from the inside. I was really struggling to cope with the illness, when he came from behind me, and lifted me up into his strong arms. I gave in quite easily, as I had no strength left in me. I was simply exhausted.

  Alex smelt wonderful. The same delicious odour I had become accustomed to oozed from him. I easily lost my senses around him, and even though I knew I did not love him, I could not help but to crave him.

  He set me down gently onto the bed, and drew the covers up over me. He sat beside me, and took my hand in his. His skin felt amazing against mine, almost as though it was healing me.

  “Sleep, Giselle. You need your rest.” His voice was smooth and silky.

  And finally, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

  * * *

  The wind and rain stirred me from my sleep. As I sat up, I could see Alex sitting in a chair by the window. He watched me as I fidgeted with the covers. I felt uncomfortable, and his continuous gaze made me feel like diving back under the blankets just to escape his eyes.

  I reached over for the glass of water that had been set beside me on the bedside locker. The covers fell, revealing my underwear. Flustered, I pulled them around me, and took the glass, taking a long drink.

  “I can smell him on you,” Alex said, breaking the long silence between us.

  I froze.

  “Who?” I asked, trying my best to remain clueless.

  “Oh, Giselle, must we always play these games? You allowed my father to take control of you. He and you . . . Do I really have to spell it out?” he growled, shaking his head.

  “Alex, I . . .”

  “Don’t do it. Do not lie to me.” He got up from the chair, and walked up to the side of the bed. He looked so angry. I did not know how long I would be able to keep the pretence up.

  “Did you let him drink from you?”

  “Yes,” I said, giving in. Because of our bond, he knew I was lying. He could feel my heart racing, and knew from my scent that something had been altered.

  “I didn’t want to. It was all crazy, and Antoine . . .” I held back my tears.

  “Antoine? What has he got to do with all this?”

  “I don’t know, Alex. All I know is that I can’t take any more of it. It’s killing me. It’s making me ill. You, your family, this whole life . . . It’s not for me. Can’t you just let me go, please?” I begged.

  Laughing, he ran his hand through his hair. “You are my wife, and your place is here with me. There is no other life for you now. Besides, you are sick because you haven’t fed properly. You look a mess, and, to be honest, the smell has got to go.”

  I sniffed at my arm, and did not notice anything unusual, but then again, Alex had heightened senses compared to mine. He would notice any difference in me.

  “Aren’t you angry with me?” I asked as I got out of the bed.

  “What do you suggest I do? Kill you? Kill my father? Or maybe, I should kill your dying mother. Would that punish you enough?”

  I was sickened by his bringing my mother into our fight. He had no right. “How could you say that about my mother? She isn’t dying. She’s just unwell.”

  Pushing past him, I went into the bathroom, and began to run a bath. He followed me in, and stood in the doorway, ready for round two.

  “From what I hear, dear old Marilyn hasn’t got long left.” He was taunting me.

  “Screw you!” I shouted, getting ready to hit him.

  He chortled as he approached me. “I remember a time when women obeyed their husbands. Back then, women knew their place, but evolution and all its graces have allowed you to become disobedient little whores. I promise you now, Giselle, with every breath in my body, I will destroy you if you ever speak to me like that again. I am your master, your commander, and I will be obeyed. Do you understand me?”

  Of course, me being me, I had to retaliate. “Go. To. Hell!” I spat in his face.


  I did not see what was coming next. With a crash, I was thrown into the glass of the shower door. The full impact had me on my back, lying on shards of broken glass. I could feel warm liquid escape from me, but before I could inspect my wounds, Alex had me pinned up against the long mirror that hung on the wall, and began to tighten his grip around my neck. He was choking me.

  I could feel the pulsating throb of my heart as oxygen fought to circulate throughout my body. It was getting harder to breath, and I could feel myself losing the battle. He was winning, as my life began to drain from my body. Before I finally lost consciousness, he loosened his grip on me, and I fell to the floor. I lay there bleeding. My wounds stung, and I gasped for air.

  He crouched down beside me, and pulled my head back. “Death would be an easy option, but for now, I think I’ll hang on to you.”

  He let go of me, and then unconsciousness came to claim me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I COULD HEAR the faint sound of voices as I fought the pain that consumed me. I knew I was not dead, yet the burning pain made me wish for death. The voices kept repeating themselves, over and over again.

  “She has lost too much blood,” one said.

  “She may not survive,” another replied.

  “You better make sure she does survive, or it’s your life on the line,” Alex said with contempt in his voice.

  I lay motionless, unable to move or speak. The only connection with the world was through my faint heartbeat that skipped every couple of minutes. I knew I had lost a lot of blood, but I did not realise I would feel like this. It was surreal, as though I was living outside my body. I could see everything going on around me.

  Three medics worked on me desperately. One stitched my back as one tended to the tears in my scalp, and another pumped blood into me via a drip. By looking at all the bloody swabs that lay on the ground, I could see I had lost more blood than I first anticipated. I was in a bad way.

  My poor body no longer looked like mine, and for the first time, I was afraid of how I would eventually look. I did not want to look like some freak. Things were bad enough that I drank blood and ingested people’s souls, but to look like one, well, that was another story.

  Alex hovered in the background, and did not seem too bothered about what he had done to me. Atarah stood by his side. She was more concerned than he was. She was angry with him, and made sure he knew it.

  “How could you be so stupid?” she hissed at him. “Now you could ruin everything, and all for the sake of your own bruised ego.”

  Alex remained silent. He stood, and watched as I was put back together.

  “She may die because of your resentment towards your father. She still heals like a human. She’s not like us. She can’t heal as we do!” She raised her voice.

  As my still body was gently turned around onto my back, one of the medics lightly squeezed some clear fluid on my abdomen.

  “What’s that for?” Atarah questioned him.

  “We have to determine that there is no internal bleeding. It is precautionary,” he replied. She stood back again, and let them carry on.

  A probe, like a thick blunt pen was placed over my skin, and was moved over the jelly-like lubricant. On the monitor, I could see the inside of my body. It was all black and fuzzy looking, just like the images on a television when the channel went dead. The medic performing the scan looked surprised, and turned back toward Atarah and Alex.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Well, everything appears to be ok. There is no damage, no internal bleeding, but there is something you should see,” he said, looking at Alex.

  “What is it now?” he mumbled arrogantly as he walked over to the bed.

  “Your wife is with child, my Lord,” he said, a broad smile on his face.

  Alex looked stunned. “What? Show me!”

  The medic slid the probe further over my abdomen, and held it in place as he pointed to the screen. “You see that there? That is the beginnings of your child, and there is the foetal heart beating away.”

  Alex was speechless. He stood by my side, watching the tiny heartbeat as I lay in a dead-like state.

  “And you are sure of this?” Atarah piped in. “The pregnancy is established?”

  “Yes. From the size, I’d say she is seven to eight weeks.”

  Oh, my God! Afanas was right. He knew all along I was carrying Alex’s child. All the while, I had been hoping that somehow there could have been a possibility that the child was Marc’s.

  Boy, was I wrong!

  Bewilderment spread across Alex’s face. From the look of his body language, he was scared. Atarah, on the other hand, was smiling like I had never seen before, her teeth gleaming in the bright light of the room. Her green eyes flickered as euphoria swept through her.

  “I told you, Alexander. I knew she would be perfect. We will have our day!” She laughed gleefully as she left the room.

  “Yes, we’ll have our day,” Alex replied thoughtfully as he looked back at me.

  I was left alone, my wounds unhealed, and with the knowledge that my baby would be taken from me. I had to find the strength from somewhere. I needed to muster up some kind of courage if I was going to go to war with the Baranski’s.

  I had to stop them, one way or another.

  * * *

  As so often, I had been thrust into another situation I thought would never happen. I honestly had not thought I would ever fall pregnant. Right now, I found it hard to believe. I did not feel any different. I looked the same, and the only real telltale sign was the awful sickness I was suffering that I had put down to the lack of food and life energy.

  The healing process was taking its time, and my patience was beginning to come away at the seams. I hated lying there, and having the three stooges take turns to watch over me made me feel even more a part of the ever growing freak show.

  Three days passed, although I hardly realised it. I was losing time. The room was kept dark, and there was not a hint of fresh air allowed in. I was a prisoner yet again.

  “Can I at least have some magazines?” I complained to stooge number one.

  He remained inanimate, as usual. His rough complexion and uncoordinated stagger amused me a little. He was not old, but, God, he had seen better days.

  “So are you a vampire, as well?” I blurted out.

  Again, he said nothing. For what seemed like the first time in ages, I thought about being a bitch. At least bitches get their way, or so I thought.

  “So, I guess you are one of them. You all look the same, anyway. Pale, ugly, and dead. You don’t say much do you?” I quipped as I began to laugh. “Oh, I get it. Alex got to you, too. Except he cut out your tongue, and made you a mute bastard.”

  It hurt to laugh, but damn, it felt good. I could not remember a time in the past three months when I had let go of all my aggression. I was done being uptight, because it seriously gets you nowhere.

  “Enough!” said a voice I had not heard from since before I was taken.

  Leonid.

  “Sergei, you may leave,” he said as he pulled up a chair beside the bed. “You can cut the smart ass attitude. It really doesn’t suit you. Now explain.”

  His face was the usual gorgeousness, but his eyes told a different story. He was pissed at me, and I knew full well how angry he could get.

  “After I . . . killed Nikita . . . I ran, and didn’t stop. They were waiting for me, and they took me to some God awful place.” I held back my tears, refusing to allow my emotions cloud my clarity.

  “Who waited for you?”

  “The shadows. They knew where I was, and they will come for me again. I can feel it.”

  He pondered that for a few minutes before speaking again. “How has Alex taken the news of the child?”

  “Oh, you know?” I asked, surprised that the news had reached him so fast.

  “It is common knowledge now,” he calmly replied.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t k
now,” I cried, shaking my head.

  “I know.”

  He got up from the chair, and sat on the bed beside me. Taking my hand in his, he whispered, “There is still a chance the child can be brought up in the light. He doesn’t have to embrace the darkness. I meant it when I said that you were mine now. Although our bond is no match for yours and Alexander’s, I could feel something between us that hasn’t happened to me for a long time. You could love me, Giselle. I can feel it.”

  “Leonid, I don’t know how I feel about anything right now. I so wanted to believe that Alex was good, but he proved my doubts right. I can see now that he is capable of so many things, and I can’t take that risk with you. How can I be sure that you won’t do this to me? He is, after all, your son,” I said as a tear leaked from my eye.

  “I would never hurt you, not like this. Yes, I’m capable of many things, and I know I threatened you with your family’s safety, but I am not a monster.”

  “Afanas was so wrong about a lot of things,” I muttered.

  “What has he got to do with any of this?” he asked as he rubbed the side of my right thumb.

  “It was Afanas who first summoned the shadows. He called them forth to take the child from me. They wanted to kill me, and have me reborn as some dark Queen. He has seen the error he made, and I would never have escaped if it wasn’t for him.”

  “He betrayed me? A century old friendship destroyed by treason! There will be no redemption for this.”

  “No! You mustn’t hurt him. I trust him with my life!” I shouted.

  I held onto his hand, and refused to let go when he tried to pull away from me. He was hurt and angry, but most of all he was resentful.

  “Then more fool you,” he said as he pushed himself to his feet.

  “Leonid, if you really love me, please let him live. Don’t destroy him.”