by Anya Byrne
They'd never reach the bed, Jensen realized, and God help him if that didn't make him incredibly hot. He braced himself on the counter, pushing his ass out and hissing, "Please."
Erdi didn't let him wait. He shredded straight through Jensen's jeans, making him gasp in renewed arousal. Erdi's claws slid over Jensen's skin, but didn't draw blood or even hurt him in any way. They pressed hard enough to stimulate Jensen's over-sensitized nerve endings. And when those big hands landed on Jensen's ass, he wondered if Erdi would make him come just like that, through the touch of his claws.
Was it the hint of danger that made it so arousing? Maybe. Or maybe it was just the fact that the sharp tips made Jensen all the more aware of Erdi's nature, and of the fact that his lover trusted him enough to let go like this, to be himself despite his previous apprehension.
Either way, Jensen couldn't really muse over it. Trapped as he was by the remnants of his jeans, still wearing his shoes, he probably looked a little ridiculous, but that didn't seem to deter Erdi in the slightest. Jensen couldn't hear the man move or kneel, but he must have, because the next thing he knew, there was a sharp nip on his right buttock.
Jensen couldn't help a small yelp, surprised not only by the action but also by the fact that he enjoyed it so much. Erdi had applied a bit of fang, so it wasn't quite as harmless as before, but that didn't change Jensen's earlier opinion. If anything, it made it all better.
Erdi soothed the sting with his tongue, and Jensen clenched his fingers around the counter, aching for more, but at the same time, needing to see where Erdi planned to take this. He was not disappointed.
Despite their shared urgency, Erdi didn't rush. Instead, he licked over the curve of one ass cheek, all the while tracing Jensen's sides with his clawed hands. But of course, he didn't stop there. The compulsive urge to have and touch—the very same one building inside Jensen—seemed to have gripped Erdi as well, because his tongue traveled over every part of Jensen he could reach. From Jensen's ass, he went down, tracing the back of his thighs and knees, and lower down, to Jensen's shin. He let out a disgruntled groan, obviously frustrated by the remnants of Jensen's jeans, but he didn't stop to pull them off completely. Instead, he traveled up Jensen's body, over his hip bone, his back, and his shoulder.
At this point, Erdi was completely pressed against Jensen, and even if the man was completely dressed, Jensen could still feel the heat of his lover's erection against his crease. A choked moan echoed in the air, needy and loud—was that Jensen's voice, so lost and needy? Possibly. He couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed.
Erdi's hands landed on Jensen's, breaking his death grip on the counter. The gentleness in the touch contrasted sharply with the pain fangs and claws could bring—and Jensen melted against Erdi's chest, completely at his lover's mercy.
Erdi flipped him on the counter, and now that they faced each other, Jensen could look at Erdi again. The man's expression simply destroyed anything Jensen would have wanted to say or do.
Masks? Control? Where were they? Gone, shattered, nowhere to be seen. Erdi's soul was clear and open in his eyes, reaching out with so much emotion it struck Jensen dumb. The scar on his cheek should have made him look wicked, but Jensen hardly ever saw it anymore—or maybe, he did see it, but considered it just another part of Erdi. He had a moment of clarity in which he realized that he was the one who held those precious feelings in his hands, and he'd have panicked, except he knew it went both ways.
He smiled and cupped Erdi's cheek, because he couldn't not do it, couldn't not show some sign of how much Erdi meant to him. His lover leaned into the caress, and if he hadn't known any better, Jensen would have thought the man was a cat-shifter.
When they kissed again, it flowed naturally, an expression of everything they couldn't, and didn't need to say. Want, yes—there was definitely want between them. But as the lust rose, as the kiss grew more heated, so did Jensen's awareness of all that they shared.
They were both panting when they broke apart, breathing like they'd run a marathon. But Erdi was, as always, a man on a mission—and this time, he seemed intent on completely blowing Jensen's mind—literally. He grinned at Jensen, the almost pained emotions in his eyes tinged with a hint of mischief. Jensen had the time to wonder what in the world Erdi planned, and then his lover was diving in and taking Jensen's cock in his mouth.
There was no teasing, no lazy seduction. The time for that had come and gone, and their shared hunger could no longer be held in check. Erdi chose to sate it by devouring Jensen's cock, bobbing his head up and down at an almost ruthless pace. His hands—clawed again—landed on Jensen's thighs, but even if Erdi couldn't have been in a very comfortable position, they weren't there for support, but rather to keep Jensen from moving. Jensen was almost thankful for it, because the torturous heat of Erdi's mouth already had him on the edge of climax. He couldn't suppress the instinct to thrust, to bury himself in his lover's wet cavern, but if he did that, he would definitely come. As much as he ached for the unique outburst of his orgasm, he wasn't ready to let go of this moment.
Maybe it was selfish. After all, just the sight of Erdi's dark head between Jensen's legs... It was incredibly hot, a fantasy come true, and Jensen couldn't get enough.
But Erdi gave him no quarter, no mercy. He hollowed his cheeks as he sucked, completely focused on Jensen, as if Jensen's pleasure was the only thing that mattered. A low muffled growl escaped his throat, a vocalization of primal desire, need and demand. The vibrations massaged Jensen's cock, and he snapped his eyes shut in the vain hope of holding on for a while longer. It was truly futile, because after another hard suck, Erdi took Jensen's dick all the way into his throat and swallowed.
Just like that, Jensen's resolve shattered, and he tumbled into a mind-melting orgasm, filling his lover's mouth with his spunk. He couldn't hope to resist it, so he allowed himself to be swept away, lost himself in the heat of Erdi's mouth, his mate's need for him. The intensity of it was such that he might have slid off the counter if Erdi hadn't been there to support him.
Of course, he didn't have to worry. Erdi released Jensen's dick from his wet mouth, then got up and took Jensen in his arms. Still reeling from the climax, Jensen could only cling to his mate, trying, and utterly failing to gather his bearings.
Erdi seemed slightly more composed than him, and Jensen mustered enough coherence to realize he hadn't returned the favor. He might have offered, but then, Erdi was setting him down on the mattress in the bedroom, and Jensen grasped—far too slowly—that Erdi had other things in mind.
Jensen was completely naked now—and how the hell had Erdi managed that without Jensen even realizing it?—but Erdi was still dressed. Jensen would have been dismayed, but Erdi decided to correct the problem before Jensen could complain.
Unlike with Jensen's clothes, though, Erdi didn't rush. He took his own shirt off slowly, undoing each button at a time, all the while keeping his gaze on Jensen's face. He was giving Jensen a show, and every inch of exposed skin made him itch to touch.
Instead of reaching out, Jensen clenched his fingers into the sheets and watched. He could tell that Erdi's stripping was meant to be more than sensual. It was Erdi's way of saying "this is me, this is what you'll have." It was another question. Are you sure this is what you want?
Erdi's body wasn't flawless, but littered with scars. They were smaller, not as visible as the one on his cheek, but they spoke of a difficult life, one spent fighting, the life of a killer. Jensen couldn't take them away, just like he couldn't make Erdi's past vanish with the flick of his wrist. But that didn't mean Jensen was in any way thwarted or put off. If anything, he wanted Erdi even more.
"Come here," he whispered, proud when his voice didn't shake. It was quite a performance, especially since his lover chose that exact moment to slide off his jeans.
Jensen couldn't have suppressed his arousal to save his life. Even if he'd just come, he was already rock hard again. Erdi took mercy on him and joined him on the be
d, his gaze fiercer than ever before.
Jensen didn't speak again. Instead, he climbed on Erdi's lap and slid his fingers over the scar on Erdi's cheek. Erdi flinched slightly, and Jensen kissed it instead, allowing his hands to roam over the rest of Erdi's body.
Erdi still hadn't told him where he'd gotten this particular scar, and Jensen hadn't asked—too much potential for disaster—but he could tell it held quite a lot of meaning for his lover. Erdi shivered when Jensen touched it and his breath caught. Encouraged, Jensen went further, touched more, did everything he'd dreamed of and had denied himself.
It was his own silent reply. I see you. I want you. There's no need to be wary or ashamed anymore.
Jensen sensed the moment when his mate finally accepted the truth. It wasn't that the tension drained out of him. On the contrary, he sort of... snapped. In his aroused state, Jensen couldn't come up with a better description. Suddenly, he was on his back on the mattress, with Erdi crawling on top of him and kissing the breath out of him. Erdi's weight pressed him into the bed, and the feel of it scrambled Jensen's thoughts to a point where he could only focus on Erdi's overwhelming presence. He kissed back, just as desperately, needing Erdi more than ever before.
Erdi had a way of surprising him through everything he did. Jensen had already acknowledged how much he wanted to belong to Erdi, but that acceptance soared higher and brighter the more Erdi touched him and held him. Gradually—or was it suddenly?—he couldn't focus on anything except that touch, those burning kisses, Erdi's heat, passion and need for him.
He stopped being able to rationalize it, to understand what was at stake beyond the rightness of their bond. All he could do was moan and gasp as Erdi's skilled mouth tortured him, drove him crazy. At some level, he knew his mate could make him come just through this, through these simple, yet so sensual and addicting caresses. He didn't know if he was relieved or frustrated when Erdi pulled away. Maybe he was both—it would not be the first, or possibly the last, time he felt conflicted about something Erdi did.
The dilemma dissipated when he realized what Erdi was doing. His mate reached for the nightstand and opened the drawer with more fumbling than someone so effortlessly graceful should have ever had to do. His efforts were proven successful, as he returned seconds later with a tube of lubricant in his hand.
It was instinct that had Jensen spreading his legs, instinct that made him accommodate his mate as well as he could. When Erdi's now slick fingers zeroed in on his hole, Jensen did his best to encourage Erdi's ministrations. He lifted his legs, bending himself practically in half in a wordless plea for what he needed, what they both needed.
Two fingers slid inside him, drawing a moan out of him. Somehow, Erdi managed to pinpoint Jensen's special spot with a precision that was almost scary. And yet, despite the shock of pleasure that sizzled over his skin, it wasn't enough.
He clenched around the invading digits and miraculously succeeded to muster enough coherence to cry out, "Please. Now. Erdi."
A few syllables, but it was all it took. Or perhaps Erdi realized the truth of Jensen's words on his own. Either way, he pulled his fingers out of Jensen's body and steadied Jensen's legs on his shoulders. A heartbeat later, the head of his cock nudged Jensen's opening, and then he was sliding in, branding Jensen from the inside out with his heat.
The sweet pleasure-pain temporarily cleared Jensen's mind of the haze of lust that had hijacked his thoughts, before plunging him deeper into a trance he couldn't hope to escape. Erdi moved slowly inside him, giving Jensen time to adjust, but still so... there, his presence, his need, his strength hammered into Jensen's every pore. As Erdi's cock went deeper, Jensen simply let go, not wanting to think of anything beyond this moment.
When Erdi was finally buried to the hilt inside him, Jensen had to focus on breathing, because he got so lightheaded he thought he might lose consciousness. They'd built up to this beautiful moment, but maybe they'd waited for too long. Jensen didn't think he could endure the almost painful pleasure, not if he wanted to preserve a modicum of sanity.
In the end, Erdi shattered even that desire, shattered Jensen completely. He started to move inside Jensen, his cock unerringly brushing over Jensen's prostate. Thrust after steady thrust, he drove Jensen crazy, breaking through every possible barrier that had existed between them.
It was a victory over all of their doubts and fears, and Jensen might have rejoiced in it, if he hadn't been too busy trying not to fall apart. He held onto Erdi as best he could, his entire sense of self focused on his mate. Erdi started to fuck him harder and harder, faster than humanly possible, and Jensen embraced it all, surrendering to his mate's domination.
He was so close to coming right now, so close that he could feel it rattling in his teeth, buzzing in his spine, throbbing in his cock. His body was like a single nerve exposed to the ruthless intensity of Erdi's passion.
And yet, Jensen must have preserved some semblance of coherent thought, insofar as he could still be goal oriented. Or maybe it was just instinct and the rightness of the moment that triggered his actions. Either way, he found himself tilting his head, offering himself to Erdi.
Sharp pleasure-pain exploded over Jensen as his mate buried his teeth in the juncture of his neck. At the same time, a particularly strong thrust hit Jensen's prostate, and Jensen fell over the edge, the sensations too much for him to endure.
Erdi followed him into climax, pumping Jensen full of hot spunk. His cock head expanded inside Jensen, triggering new waves of pleasure through him. Jensen felt it all through a haze, as if he was in a dream, his consciousness doubled, entwined with Erdi's. He felt Erdi's pleasure echoing inside him, but more than that, he experienced his emotions, all of Erdi's desires, his yearning, his need, his almost desperate affection and protectiveness. A tight, surreal but palpable bond clicked into place, glowing with feelings, memories and words not spoken out loud.
"Jensen. My mate."
Jensen heard those words in his mind, and felt them in his heart, at a level he hadn't even known existed. He had always prided himself on his independence, but right then and there, he belonged to Erdi more utterly than he ever had to himself. It was perfect, because Erdi belonged to him in turn. All the masks were gone, everything that had hidden Erdi's true self from Jensen disappearing into thin air. There was no more hiding, no more deceit.
It was beautiful, but it also hurt. Erdi's heart was an open book to Jensen, but his tale was one of loneliness, guilt, sorrow and blood. Erdi didn't shy away from him, though, showed Jensen everything that he was—and Jensen was thankful for that trust, for everything Erdi gave him and everything they could build together.
The carnal ecstasy and emotional richness of the moment soon settled into exhausted contentment. Jensen came down from the high of his orgasm with Erdi still stuck inside him. There was deep intimacy in that enduring connection, and Jensen was very tempted to make use of it—or would have been if he hadn't been too drained by what he and Erdi had already shared.
Erdi must have felt the same, because he made no attempt to rekindle the fire of their passion. He eventually slid out of Jensen and gathered him close to his chest. The kiss that followed tasted a little salty, a little coppery—like blood, sweat and tears—and in it, Jensen read the promise that he could still feel in their new bond.
The two of them weren't perfect. They had a lot of baggage, and a lot of distrust. But as long as they stayed true to one another, as long as they had faith in this, there was nothing they could not accomplish.
Chapter Seven
Jensen was too much of a realist to expect the mating thing to work from the get go. Sure, he'd wanted it, craved it more than he'd believed he ever would, but he hadn't been naive enough to think there wouldn't be some hiccups.
Things changed, of course. They now slept in each other's arms every night, and they'd stopped trying to hold back on sex. At the same time, a renewed sense of comfortable trust was building up between them. Erdi still had moments wh
en he looked at Jensen as if he couldn't believe Jensen was there, but they were both getting better at handling their insecurities.
Jensen would have liked to blame his forgetfulness on the fact that he focused on the growth of their relationship, and the possible danger he was still in. However, he was rudely reminded of a certain mind-numbing fact a few days after they'd first mated.
Jensen stirred from his slumber as always, in Erdi's arms. Usually, he'd slide under the sheets, maybe give his mate a creative wake up call. This time, things didn't quite work out that way. A sudden sense of horrible nausea flowed over him, and Jensen broke away from his lover's embrace. He stumbled out of the bed and toward the bathroom, hoping he could at least contain the nausea enough to prevent him from throwing up all over the floor.
With a great deal of effort, he succeeded, but the moment he was in the bathroom, he dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and hurled. His entire stomach was rebelling, and he was dizzy and sweating badly. At one point, Jensen was aware of Erdi coming in and kneeling next to him, patting his back with strikingly gentle hands. It sort of helped, and Jensen's stomach settled at last.
He slumped against Erdi while he caught his breath. "Well, that was somewhat... unexpected."
Erdi didn't answer, at which point Jensen's brain finally got the message. "Oh."
He felt Erdi wince against him. "I was worried this might happen. I told you I had no way of preventing it."
And if Erdi's guess was correct, there had been, indeed, no way. Because of the knotting thing, condoms were ineffective in couplings between mates. Still, Jensen wasn't fully convinced. He turned to face his mate and arched a brow. "You can't be sure what it is just yet."
