Back to Your Love

by Kianna Alexander

  He looked away, as if he felt guilty—or at least uncertain. “Well, Imani, I just want to make sure I say what I have to say in the best possible way, because—”

  “Rambling again, Xavier. Just say what you want to say, boo.” The term of endearment slipped from her lips unexpectedly, effortlessly, as if she’d always referred to him that way.

  He swallowed. “I think you were right about us needing to be cautious and take things slow. Maybe we should—”

  She sighed loudly, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. “So I guess you know about it, then.”

  * * *

  Xavier felt his brow furrow. The nervousness he’d been feeling the entire evening was washed out by confusion as he tried to process Imani’s cryptic statement. “Know about what?”

  She took a sip of her coffee. “Come on, Xavier. You must have found out about the harassment case by now.”

  “Imani, I don’t know what you’re talking—”

  “Yes, you do. That’s why you’re fumbling through this whole, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ break-up speech you’re doing right now.” She sat back in her chair, her expression one of resignation.

  In opposition to her gesture, Xavier leaned forward in his seat. “Imani, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it seems like you have something you need to tell me.”

  She folded her arms over her chest. “I don’t want to do this, Xavier.”

  He watched her, waited.

  Her expression softened, and she appeared to be searching his face. “You mean you really don’t know what I’m talking about?”

  He shook his head slowly, hoping she’d believe him this time.

  Her eyes widened. “Oh my God.”

  “Yeah. I’m gonna need you to start talking, Imani.” He thought back on her words the day they’d had dinner at Alma’s house.

  You think you know me, but you don’t.

  Imani closed her eyes, released a long sigh. “I can’t talk about this right now, Xavier.”

  “I don’t really know what’s going on. But is there something I need to know?”

  She said nothing but looked away.

  “Does it have anything to do with my campaign?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t tell you that.”

  “I’m at a loss here, Imani.”

  “I really can’t get into this with you, Xavier. We’re having such a nice night. Let’s not ruin it.”

  “So, that’s all you’re going to say?”

  “Xavier, I’m not about to rehash all the ghastly details. To be honest, the whole ordeal is something I’d much rather forget.”

  “Imani—”

  “Xavier, please. This whole mess is mine to deal with. I don’t want it interfering with any of the things you’re trying to accomplish.”

  “Why were you so determined to keep this from me?”

  She rolled her eyes.

  He tented his fingers, resting his elbows on the table.

  He sensed her discomfort, and with everything in him, he wanted to know what the problem was, so he could fix it. But after everything he’d gone through to get to this point with her, he knew she’d flee if he pushed. She was silent for a few moments, as if thinking about what he said. Finally, she pressed her fingertips to her temple. “Xavier, I’m really tired. We’ve had a lovely evening but I think I need to get to bed early.”

  His protective instincts kicked in again. “Are you okay? Do you feel sick?”

  She shook her head. “Just a little headache. I’ll be fine, but I’d really like to just go to bed.”

  “I understand.” He didn’t, really, but he sensed she’d already made her decision. Standing up, he made his way toward the front door. “Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will. Thanks.” She reached for her glass, took a sip.

  “Good night, Imani.”

  After hearing her quiet reply, he slipped out of the apartment and closed the door behind him. Outside, as he got into his truck, he wondered what had just happened. Something wasn’t right with her, but he knew trying to force her to talk would be a mistake.

  His mind still ticking through the possibilities, he backed out of the parking space and drove away.

  * * *

  On her lunch break on Monday afternoon, Imani popped a slice of Granny Smith apple into her mouth. Chewing, she washed down the tart sweetness with a sip of cold water.

  Joining her nurses and Maya in the break room was not something she usually did, but she felt she could use the company. It had been a long, miserable weekend since she’d fought with Xavier, and now all she wanted to do was sit in a dark room and feel sorry for herself. Being around other women seemed to lift her out of her funky mood.

  She reached for another apple slice off the fruit and cheese tray Maya had brought in for lunch. They were all watching the noon news on the small flat-screen television mounted on the break room’s apricot-hued accent wall. The surrounding walls were painted a muted shade of yellow and were decorated with small, square, framed images of Maya’s orchids.

  Maya sipped from her bottle of diet soda. “I’m glad you decided to eat with us today. You needed some social interaction.”

  Imani had to agree, so she nodded. “I’m glad I did, too. We should do this more often.”

  Tara, one of the two nurses working, added, “There’s nothing like good food and good company to heal the spirit.” In her muted, solid-colored scrubs, and with her long black hair in a bun, Tara was a pretty mellow character.

  “Amen to that!” echoed Leona, the other nurse. Leona was the opposite of Tara, preferring a short, spiky hairstyle and neon-colored scrubs.

  Imani was about to comment on Leona’s lime-green ensemble when Maya tapped her shoulder. Imani turned. “What is it?”

  Around a mouthful of crackers, Maya said, “Look at the TV.”

  Imani followed her gaze. Grabbing the remote on the table, she turned up the volume.

  An image of Aaron Givens was on the screen as the lady reporter spoke. “Councilman Aaron Givens took time away from the campaign trail today to visit a home for the mentally disabled in Rocky Mount.”

  Maya’s face twisted into a frown of distaste. “This is really gross. It’s blatant pandering at the expense of those disabled people.”

  Imani nodded, her mood solemn. If she never had a reason to root for Xavier to win the election, she certainly had one now. Aaron Givens was a horrible person. On the decency scale, he ranked somewhere between pond scum and possum crap, and growing up in North Carolina, she’d encountered her share of both.

  As she ran a hand through her wavy dark hair, Maya cursed. “I don’t believe this guy. Xavier’s definitely got my vote.”

  Imani lowered her voice before speaking again. “What really sucks is that the general population has no idea what a scumbag Givens is,” she lamented. “I’d love to inform them, but—”

  Maya finished her sentence. “You don’t want your business out in the street.” Her arms were folded across the front of her red sheath dress, and she wore a knowing look.

  Imani sighed. “Even if I did, I still have to contend with the gag order. You know me too well.”

  Maya hooked arms with her. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Imani.”

  Imani asked, “How can I not worry about it? I don’t much care about politics, but do we really want someone like Aaron Givens to stay in power?”

  Maya shook her head. “Let it go, Cuz. Karma will bite him in the ass, you’ll see.”

  As she sipped from her bottled water, Imani dearly hoped her cousin was right.

  A man like Aaron Givens deserved to have his dirty deeds exposed.

  Imani found she no longer had much of an appetite. She could still see Xavier leaving her apartment, still feel the sting of guilt from
being evasive with him. From the day she’d seen Xavier at the wedding, she’d tried her damnedest to get him to leave her alone. He’d chosen to pursue her anyway, and she was pretty sure he regretted the choice now. As she thought of him and how confused and hurt he’d looked that night, she could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She’d tried in vain all weekend to convince herself that she was fine, that not telling Xavier everything was best. Her head told her it was better this way.

  Her heart vehemently disagreed.

  Despite her protests, being with him the past few weeks had changed her. He’d worked his way into her heart, opening the places occupied only by him, places she’d thought she’d locked away forever. The old feelings of first love were revealing themselves again, and now that she’d become so deeply involved with him, she had no idea how to put them under lock and key again.

  As she tried to shake off the nagging thoughts of Xavier, she looked up and found Maya watching her.

  With serious eyes, she stated, “Call him, Imani.”

  Imani smiled wearily, shaking her head. “Trust me. Xavier isn’t going to talk to me.”

  * * *

  Raising his mug of beer to his lips, Xavier took a long drink. He was sitting at the bar in Rizzo’s, one of his favorite places to go for a cold one.

  Bryan, sitting on the next stool, was enjoying a cold brew of his own. “I love Rizzo’s house brew. Can’t get anything this good anywhere else in the world.”

  “You should know.” Xavier set down his now-empty mug, wiped away foam he felt clinging to his lips with a napkin. “It’s taken me way longer than I thought to buy you a beer, because you’re never in town more than a hot second.”

  Bryan sighed. “That’s true. My travel schedule has been outrageous lately. I think I’m gonna try to stay at the office more, do some remote work.”

  Xavier felt his brow hitch in surprise. “I thought you liked the travel? Besides, if you stay home, how are you gonna hook up with your squadron of international honeys?”

  With a groan, Bryan shook his head. “I’m not. After what I went through in Paris, I turned in my player’s card.”

  Now Xavier was really confused. “Dude, what are you talking about?”

  “Oh, that’s right. I didn’t tell you when I came to the center, because I was rushing back to work, and I haven’t seen you since then.” Bryan drained his mug and set it down. “Let’s just say I got burned, and badly.”

  Tenting his fingers, Xavier gave his friend his full attention. “I gotta hear this. Tell me about this legendary woman who took you down a peg.”

  Bryan frowned but continued. “Her name is Marielle. Every time I’ve visited Paris for the last two years, she and I have met up for a little…adult activity. This time, we did the same. She left my room one morning without even leaving a note. I saw her in a café that same day, and she wasn’t alone.”

  “Dude. Y’all weren’t exclusive or anything, so what’s the big deal?”

  He shook his head. “Listen. I saw her, but she didn’t see me. And I stood a little distance away, listening to her clowning me to another man.”

  Xavier scratched his chin as he took in the tale. “Are you sure she was talking about you?”

  “Man, who else do you know with a dragon tattooed on his upper left thigh? Not only did she make fun of my tat, but she was dissing my equipment.”

  Xavier sucked in a breath. “Ouch. She’s cold-blooded, man.” That was a pretty low blow and seriously detrimental to a man’s ego, no matter how confident he might be.

  “You’re telling me. I just can’t do it with these women anymore. I don’t even want to think about what the rest of them might be saying about me behind my back.” Bryan gestured to the barkeep to refill his mug. “I’m telling you. From now on, it’s all business for me. No more playing the field.”

  “Wow. I never thought I’d see the day.” And he hadn’t. Xavier could recall Bryan’s way with the ladies back when they were in college, and apparently his charms had only intensified with age, at least as far as most women were concerned. Hearing Bryan swear off women was odd, kind of like when he found out Pluto had been demoted and was no longer considered a planet.

  “I’m serious, X. I’m done with dating. At least Dad will be thrilled. He’s always complained that I wasn’t focused enough on company business. Now there’s nothing competing for my attention.”

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry she did that to you.” Xavier gave Bryan’s back a reassuring slap.

  Bryan shrugged. “I appreciate you, man. You’ve already helped me out by bringing me here and footing the bill for my favorite brew.”

  Xavier waved to the bartender for a refill. Once his mug was filled again, he raised it, careful not to spill the foamy head. “Hey, what are friends for?”

  Bryan struck his mug against Xavier’s, and then the two men took drinks.

  “But enough about my troubles. What’s up with you and Imani?”

  Xavier shifted on his stool. “Who knows? This is all turning out to be way more complex than I thought it would be.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I went to her place for dinner the other night. She makes a mean Italian meal. But when I started to tell her about how Tyrone’s been riding me to cool things off with her, she said something off the wall.”

  Bryan said nothing, but his brow creased with confusion.

  “She started to admit something to me, then she walked it back. No matter what I said, she wouldn’t tell me anything. I don’t know what’s going on with her.”

  Shaking his head, Bryan chuckled. “Women. Just ain’t no understanding them, man.”

  Xavier laughed, but deep down, he could see the truth in Bryan’s words. There were so many things about Imani that he didn’t understand. As much as he cared for her, he knew he was going to need some clarity before things with her progressed.

  * * *

  “You ready?”

  Imani tightened her charcoal wool peacoat against a cold breeze before answering Maya’s question. “I’m ready to get out of this cold air.”

  She and her cousin were on the steps of the Wake County Courthouse, in advance of today’s proceedings. The air held the chill of the approaching winter, even as the sun sat high in a cloudless blue sky.

  The two young men who’d been charged with breaking and entering for the crime they’d committed at her medical practice were appearing before a judge today for a hearing.

  “Me, too.” Maya climbed onto the landing and swung open the glass door, holding it open. “Let’s go in.”

  The two women went inside, and Imani immediately felt the relief of the building’s heated interior.

  “I don’t know about you, but I still think it’s a little crazy that these boys’ hearing date fell on Halloween.” Maya made the remark as she emptied her pockets and purse for the metal detector by the entrance.

  Imani handed over all her cargo to the stern-faced deputy. “It is a little weird. But I’m just ready to get this whole thing over with.”

  Maya passed through the metal detector first, then stood still for one of the deputies to pass a wand over her. Imani endured the same tedium, and when they had their items returned, they went on their way. A quick elevator ride delivered them to the second floor, where they made their way to the hearing room.

  Inside, Imani found two vacant seats near the rear and gestured to them. She and Maya slid into the chairs. Imani’s rear end immediately protested when it came in contact with the stiff wooden seat.

  Maya shifted, as if trying to get comfortable. “Damn, these chairs are hard. Sorry we couldn’t get closer to the front.”

  “Don’t worry about it. This just means we’ll be able to get out quicker when it’s over.” She gestured to the exit doors on their right.

  Maya set her purs
e on the floor, her eyes scanning the room. Then she jabbed Imani. “Look, there’s Xavier.”

  Rubbing her arm to soothe the pain brought on by her cousin’s sharp elbow, Imani rolled her eyes. “I expected him to be here to support Trent and Peter. They are his charges, after all.”

  “You sound a li’l salty there. I know you’ve got better sense than to blame Xavier for what they did.”

  “I don’t blame him. I’m not that petty. I just wish it hadn’t happened in the first place, that’s all.”

  Maya pursed her lips. “Well, I’m glad to hear you say that because ain’t nobody else responsible for what those boys did.”

  Imani shushed her cousin, then whispered, “Stop lecturing me so we can hear the proceedings.”

  Maya shook her head and folded her arms over her chest but remained silent.

  Thankful her cousin had finally zipped her lips, Imani looked to the front of the room, in anticipation of the hearing. The wall clock behind the judge’s bench gave the time as four minutes to eight, so things were bound to start soon.

  Imani watched as Trent and Peter were led to a table in the front of the room. She assumed the tall man with them to be their legal representative. The boys cleaned up nicely, and she noted how presentable they looked in their dark suits and solid-colored ties.

  Their lawyer, who didn’t look much older than they were, wore a suit in navy, with a smart paisley tie. A pair of black-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, he wore an easy grin that contradicted the seriousness of the occasion. Imani thought the lawyer had a whole Malcolm X/Dwayne Wayne thing going on.

  Behind the boys and their lawyer, Stacy Cates entered. Trent’s mother had dressed in a green suit and pulled her hair back into a conservative bun. Stacy’s gaze swung in Imani’s direction, and they locked eyes for a moment.

  Imani gave her an almost imperceptible nod.

  In response, Stacy frowned, then hurried to a seat in the front row.

  Imani supposed she could understand Stacy’s frustration and didn’t begrudge the woman her opinion. Still, someone had to be held responsible for all the damage done to her practice, not to mention the loss of income and sense of unease she’d experienced in the aftermath. The police had informed her of the boys’ arrest and subsequent temporary custody. Though she didn’t have children, Imani guessed that had been a stressful situation for both the boys and their parents.