The next morning, on the way to the last class of the workshop, Sam walked through the hotel lobby, lost in her own tangled web of thoughts. She didn’t even notice Lisa until she heard “Sam!” called out across the lobby. She turned to find Lisa waving her over, surrounded by young dancers and their families.
“Sam, I’m glad I caught you! I have to go now…we all car-pooled down here…so I won’t be in the last class. I wanted to give you my phone number, in case you’re ever up my way. I’d love for you to stop in and see the studio, maybe go to lunch?” She handed Sam her business card.
Sam scrambled for the right words—casual, but interested. “Sure…great. Here’s my number.” And she quickly found a scrap of paper and jotted down her cell phone number and work number. “Tap class was a blast…I hope we meet again at another workshop.”
“Well, got to head out,” said Lisa. “See ya.”
And before Sam knew it, the other woman was lost in the crowd of departing kids and parents. The last impression Sam had was the silky mass of Lisa’s light brown hair, blowing in the breeze.
Chapter 6: Disappointment
Lisa picked up after the second ring. “Hello?”
Sam tried to breathe normally. “Is this Lisa?”
“Yes, it is.” There was obviously a question in the statement.
Sam rushed on before she chickened out. “Lisa, this is Sam. Samantha. From the dance competition last month.”
Lisa came to Sam’s rescue, “Of course! Samantha, Sam to her friends. Hey!”
“Hey. I just thought I might be coming up your way to do some Christmas shopping…you know, get it all done in one killer shopping trip out of town.”
This was the story Sam had cooked up for her mother to explain the weekend out of town without Barry. Barry himself, of course, knew the real story. In fact, he was the one encouraging Sam to make a move.
Lisa seemed to find Sam’s idea reasonable. “Sure, cool. Sounds like a good idea. When will you be here?”
“Next Friday. I thought I’d get there in time for dinner, and then get an early start Saturday morning.”
“Dinner…that would be great. I’ll meet you somewhere.”
Sam grinned at the phone. She hadn’t even had to ask Lisa—Lisa had asked her!
“Super. I’ll be at the Holiday Inn right on the beach. Is there anything good close by?”
The rest of the conversation was taken up with where and when, and then, “See ya next Friday.” Sam was breathless, excited, and scared out of her mind.
What if Lisa cancelled? What if Sam’s mom got suspicious? What if she had misunderstood Lisa’s interest? What if…?
For the rest of that week and the next, Sam alternated between confident anticipation and a feeling of impending disaster.
Thursday night in Sam’s bed, Barry said, “No need to ask tonight…I know who’s in your head.”
Sam sat up and flicked on the bedside light. Barry blinked in surprise. “No don’t,” Sam whispered. “You’ll jinx it.”
“Samantha. That’s ridiculous. Everything will be fine.”
“I just can’t shake this feeling every time I try to do…this…something will go wrong. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. I have you…”
“You do indeed. But that’s no reason you can’t also have a lady if that’s what you want. Come on, Sam.”
No answer. “Come here,” Barry said softly. He reached over Sam to turn out the light, and held her in silence until she fell asleep.
* * * *
Sam pulled into the parking lot of a beachside Italian restaurant Lisa had recommended. She was a few minutes early, but Lisa was there waiting in the entryway. Apparently, she had already put her name in for a table and been informed there’d be at least a twenty-minute wait.
“Let’s go sit at the bar,” Lisa suggested.
“Sure, okay.” Sam let Lisa step in front of her and then followed her “date” to the lounge area. She could hardly restrain herself from touching Lisa’s hair as it moved with the rhythm of her walk.
They found two places at the bar and ordered drinks. Sam was relieved when her drink came, as it gave her something to do, and also promised to relax her a bit from her agitated state of mind. She took a long drink as Lisa sipped her wine.
“Did you get your shopping done?”
“Oh, shopping…yeah…some of it.” Sam realized she sounded uncertain and a little dense. “Have you done yours?”
Lisa looked a bit uncomfortable. “Well, for my kids, yeah. My husband is…”
Sam regretted she had asked. Now they seemed to be getting into an area Lisa didn’t want to talk about.
“Well, I may as well tell you,” said Lisa. “I actually want to leave him. But I’m not sure I’m ready to do it.”
Sam took a deep breath before she spoke. “I know it seems impossible. I’ve been there, too.” She wanted so much to put her arm around Lisa’s shoulders to comfort her and take care of her. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
What followed for the next couple of hours, through dinner and coffee, seemed to Sam to pass by in only a few minutes. Lisa told all about her troubled marriage, her unhappiness with where she was in life, and her concern about her two boys. Sam wanted to say, “Leave him and come live with me…we’ll raise our kids together.” But, of course, she didn’t say anything even close to that. What she did say, as they walked out to Lisa’s car, turned out to be just as momentous for Sam.
“I’m so glad you could meet me for dinner.”
Lisa responded, “Me, too. I needed a friend to talk to.”
Sam closed her eyes for a moment and prepared to say what she had come here to say, “I really had a good time…I like you.” She paused to allow Lisa to respond.
“I like you, too, Sam. Well, here’s my car…”
“No wait. What I mean is, I came here to see you because I’m interested in you. You know.”
Lisa looked mystified. Sam forged ahead, “I’m bisexual…I thought you knew that.” Lisa now looked apprehensive. “I came here to go out with you, to seduce you…” Sam knew whatever came next would be the deciding factor.
Lisa started to laugh. “You’re kidding. You must be. I had no idea!”
It was now Sam’s turn to be puzzled. “But, you flirted with me at the competition. You wanted to meet me for dinner. You let me touch your hair when we were sitting at the bar…?”
“I thought you were just a ‘touchy’ person. That it was a friendly gesture.”
“No, I’m usually not ‘touchy’ like that with my friends. I want to be with you.”
Lisa laughed again. “Well, I did that once in college. But, you know…” She dissolved into nervous giggles.
Sam was now deadly serious. “This isn’t a joke, you know. This is me, who I am. I’m telling you I’m into women, and I’m attracted to you.”
The look on Sam’s face caught Lisa’s attention. She controlled her laughter and answered Sam more directly. “I’m flattered…really. But it’s just…not me.”
Sam made a huge effort to speak reasonably…as if this was what she expected. “Okay—no problem. Please don’t let this keep us from having fun together if we meet at another dance competition.”
Lisa looked monumentally relieved. “No, of course. No harm done.” And then, “Have a good holiday.”
Sam fought back tears until she could get safely in her own car. “Yeah, you too. See ya.” She started the car and drove directly to her hotel.
Chapter 7: Valerie
Coming back into the hotel room with her hopes dashed, Sam’s first thought was to call Barry. Thankfully, he was home
“Hey, lady!” Barry answered the phone. “How did it go?”
“Don’t ask,” said Sam. An uncomfortable pause. “She laughed at me. I let her know I was attracted to her…and she laughed!”
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then, “Oh, lady, I’m so sorry.”
Barry’s sympathe
tic response almost started Sam’s tears again. “I’m sort of at a loss here. I don’t think I can go to sleep feeling the way I do.”
Then Barry suggested, “There’s a gay bar right down the street from your hotel. Mo’s, I think it is. Why don’t you go down there? At least you’ll feel accepted and okay for a while…you know what I mean?”
Sam did know. Once again, Barry had the right idea, and had her best interests at heart.
“Yeah, okay.” And she wrote down the directions Barry gave her. She didn’t even think to ask him how he knew about a gay bar in another town.
As Sam pulled into the gravel parking lot at Mo’s, she realized it was a little early for much of a Friday night crowd. There were only a few cars in the parking lot.
Oh, well, she thought, maybe things will liven up later. What have I got to lose anyway? She entered the dimly lit club. As she looked around, the place looked to Sam pretty much like every other gay bar she had been in—which was only a few—way back in her college days, and a couple of local ones lately with Barry. There were a few guys sitting at the bar eating snacks and drinking beer, and a few loners, also male, leaning against the wall by the dance floor. Sam was uncertain about the entire adventure, but thought once again she had nothing to lose, and anything was better than feeling sorry for herself back at a hotel room for which she had paid more than she could reasonably afford. She took a seat on a bar stool and ordered a beer.
Sam’s perception of time altered as she drank and mellowed into the atmosphere at Mo’s. She had no idea how long she had been sitting on that bar stool when she noticed a group of women enter and find seats near the dance floor. She found herself watching the group closely, trying to figure out the relationships among the women. It was obvious two of the group were a couple—a woman about ten years older than Sam and a younger woman with short blond hair who seemed to dominate whatever conversation they were having. Sam divided her attention between watching what she labeled the lesbian table and chatting with the resident drag queen, who introduced himself as Sabal Palm. As the evening wore on, Sabal left to prepare for the 11:00 P.M. show, and the lesbian table drew more of Sam’s attention.
The blonde, tall and slim and obviously brimming with confidence, made the rounds of the bar, greeting various patrons and laughing animatedly at whatever was said. Sam found herself fascinated by the woman’s confident demeanor and outgoing personality. There was something about her…she wasn’t conventionally pretty, but she was attractive in a butch sort of way. There was something about the way she moved that was unabashedly sexual. Sam, relaxed by her exhausted state of mind and fueled by copious amounts of Bud Light, smiled across the room at the woman.
Before Sam even realized what had happened, the other woman was standing right in front of her, grinning and offering her hand.
“Valerie,” she said. “And you are…?”
“Samantha. Usually called Sam.”
“Well, Sam…nice to meet you.” And she leaned over and kissed Sam boldly on the lips.
Sam struggled to appear nonchalant—and to remember the woman’s name. “Valerie. Nice to meet you, too.” She touched the younger woman’s shoulder.
“Are you new here?” Valerie asked. “If you don’t know anybody, you should come join our table. It’s my partner Sally’s birthday.”
“Cool,” Sam managed to say. “I don’t want to intrude, though…”
Valerie again flashed her irresistible grin. “No, no…it’s cool…we’re all celebrating together.” And she offered her hand to Sam.
Normally, Sam would have analyzed the situation and decided not to get involved. But tonight, after being blatantly rejected by Lisa and longing for some validation of her status as a lesbian, she had very little ability to resist the charm exuded by her persuasive companion. She took the hand that was offered and followed Valerie to the lesbian table.
When they arrived, a lively discussion was underway that seemed to have something to do with the status of the relationship between Sabal and another member of the drag queen contingent at Mo’s. Valerie took the seat saved for her next to Sally and motioned for Sam to take the seat on her other side.
“Sally, this is Samantha. She’s from out of town, sitting at the bar all by herself. I told her she should come hook up with us.”
Sally, a non-descript middle-aged woman with scruffy looking grayish hair, looked less than thrilled to have an attractive stranger join the group. Later, Sam could never remember much about Sally, except everything about her seemed a little dull: clothes, hair, facial expression—everything. Anyway, on this night, all Sam’s attention was focused on Valerie.
The birthday celebration was in high gear, with an abundance of beer, loud conversation, and flirting. Sam realized she was being introduced to the other women at the table and attempted to smile and nod appropriately. There was no point in saying anything in detail, as the dance music was now also in high gear. Valerie still had Sam’s hand, and was ordering more beer for everyone, including Sam. Sam was fascinated by this woman’s commanding manner and combination of masculine and feminine. In the state Sam was in, she found herself totally unable to think logically about what might happen later. All she knew was she couldn’t tear herself away from the magnetic field that was Valerie.
An indeterminate amount of time passed, which included the drag show, more dancing, and more beer. Close to the end of the evening, Sam noticed Sally had left the table and was talking animatedly to a group up at the bar. Valerie again took Sam’s hand and drew her attention away from Sally and her companions.
“So tell me, Sam, what about me do you find intriguing?” Valerie’s lips brushed Sam’s ear as she leaned in to make herself heard above the music.
Sam was embarrassed, but tried to answer, “Um, everything, really.”
The other woman laughed. Sam thought she had never heard so sexy a laugh in all her life. “Everything, hmm? That’s a lot to live up to, if you find everything about me fascinating.” And she leaned in to kiss Sam for the second time that night.
Sam totally lost herself in kissing Valerie. Gone were any thoughts or emotions about Barry, the fiasco with Lisa, what she would think about this tomorrow…all gone. She barely noticed when the lights came on in Mo’s and the few late-night revelers prepared to leave. Sam had also failed to notice Sally and her friends had gathered near the door, separate from Valerie and Sam. Sabal shot Valerie a look that said, “Watch out, girl…you’re in deep shit!”
“Come on, baby girl. Take me home.” She started to walk toward the door.
Sam hurried to keep up, struggling not to appear as drunk and disoriented as she felt. Valerie put her arm around Sam and led her past Sally and her group. This was the first Sam realized of the controversy she was causing; Sally put out a hand to stop Valerie from passing.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Valerie to the older woman. It was obvious to Sam, in spite of her inebriated state, Sally was hurt, upset, and angry. Sam knew she should just leave on her own, but the warmth of Valerie’s hand on her back and the memory of Valerie’s kisses were too compelling. Sam took Valerie’s hand and followed her out the door.
What happened after that was something of a blur to Sam—Valerie asked where her car was and Sam pointed. They crossed the parking lot. Sally approached, encouraged by various intoxicated bar patrons hanging out by the door.
Just as Sam got in her car on the driver’s side, Sally caught up with her philandering lover. “Stop, wait…how can you do this to me?!” Valerie turned to look at the older woman.
“It’s my fuckin’ birthday, Valerie.” From Sam’s vantage point in the car, it looked like Sally would either start crying or hit Valerie—or maybe both.
“And I took you out for your fuckin’ birthday,” replied Valerie coolly. “I invited this woman over in a perfectly innocent manner, just being friendly. Can’t I be friendly to people who’re new here and all alone?” Valerie’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
/> Sally could not come up with a reasonable answer to this statement. Sam almost felt sorry for her.
There were various calls for action coming from the crowd by the door. Sally looked at them and looked back at Valerie. She grabbed the younger woman’s arm and sobbed, “Is that what you want…is she what you want? Then go…just fuckin’ go!” Sam saw the outline of the two women meld together as if in a fight—or an embrace. The next thing Sam knew, Sally was on the ground, and Valerie’s face appeared in the window on the passenger side of the car. Sam leaned over and unlocked the door so Valerie could slide in.
“Drive, goddamn it…now!”
Sam said nothing and turned the ignition. As she pulled out into the street, she caught a brief glimpse of Sally, in tears, being helped up by Sabal and one of the bartenders. Sam tried to breathe normally and looked over at her passenger. Valerie grinned. Sam knew she should feel bad about what just happened, but all she could think about was what might happen next.
Valerie put her hand on Sam’s knee. “So…is this what you wanted, baby girl?”
Sam wasn’t sure what she meant—did she want to spend more time with Valerie, did she want to take her away from Sally, did she want to fuck her? Yes. All of the above. Sam kept silent and continued to drive back to her hotel, which was only a few blocks from Mo’s. A ghost of the usually sensible Sam whispered she was way too drunk to drive, but was silenced by the powerful force of wanting to be with Valerie.
As they walked up the stairs to Sam’s room, she knew she would remember this moment…and this night…for a very long time. As she opened the door to the room, she felt Valerie’s hands on her body. Sam turned into the other woman’s arms and felt the firm pressure of her kisses, so strange yet oddly familiar. There was no doubt at all now about what was going to happen. They fell onto the bed. Sam knew something she had thought about in the abstract for so long was about to become reality. She turned out the bedside light and reached for Valerie, who was already brazenly naked. It felt incredible to Sam she could actually touch female breasts, a slim female waist…
In All the Wrong Places Page 3
