“Well, yeah. Aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I guess we could go to the Mexican…”
Sam jumped on this idea, as she really was hungry. “Great—let’s do it.” She found her shoes and grabbed her purse.
“Okay,” said Valerie, looking a bit surprised. “Right behind you.”
Holding hands, they went down in the elevator and headed out to the nearby restaurant. On the way, they passed a discount clothing store just about to close, with a clearance rack on the sidewalk. Valerie stopped to run a hand through some tank tops hanging in a colorful array. Sam was looking in the store window at bathing suits—she had forgotten to bring one.
Suddenly, Valerie grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled her along toward the restaurant. As Sam looked back over her shoulder, she noticed the clerk come out and bring the sale rack into the store.
As soon as they were around the next corner, Valerie handed Sam a turquoise blue top. She had a big grin on her face.
Sam took it as if it were hot—which, indeed, it was. She looked at her lover with a puzzled expression.
“I liberated it for you, baby. You like it?”
Sam was speechless. Even though she had done some crazy things in the past months, her inner self was still the good girl her mother had raised. She had never even stolen candy from the Jiffy Store as a kid. She so didn’t want this stolen garment, but she didn’t want to hurt Valerie’s feelings. The best she could come up with was a quiet “thank you” and a quick hiding of the shirt in her purse. Even that freaked her out—now it might look like she had stolen it. But Valerie had no purse, so Sam did the only thing she could think of.
By that point, to Sam’s great relief, they arrived at La Casita. Valerie insisted they sit on the same side on the booth, which was ill-received by their young Hispanic waiter. Sam was always sensitive to how people saw her, but Valerie seemed totally oblivious.
It’s as if she rules the world, although she’s really just a druggie who works at a grocery store. Sam realized her thoughts were echoing Barry again.
* * * *
Once they got back to the hotel, Valerie announced she had to run a quick errand. For the third time that night, Sam was mystified by her lover’s behavior—and her own willingness to overlook it. Before she could think of a response, Valerie was out the door.
Sam turned on the television and flipped through the channels. What the hell could she need to do at 8:00 pm without me? She started pacing the room, slowly at first and then more frantically. Even though she was already pretty drunk, she made another drink to calm herself down. Then she grabbed her phone and called Barry.
He picked up immediately. “Sam! You okay?”
“Sure. I mean—I guess.” Sam was caught in her usual dilemma of wanting to confide in Barry as her friend, but not wanting to hurt him as her husband.
“We went to a hotel. Sally’s daughter was giving us a hard time.”
“Can you blame her?”
“Barry, please—I know it sounds bad. And I know you’re kind of right. But I just need you to listen, can you?”
A sigh from the other end of the phone. “Yeah, of course. Then what?”
“Nothing, really. We went to eat Mexican.”
“Samantha. I know you didn’t call me to report you and the evil queen ate fajitas. What’s up?”
“Well, she’s gone out. About an hour ago. I’m here by myself.” Suddenly Sam started crying. And in the next instant, Valerie burst through the door.
She took in the scene, Sam still fully dressed with a drink in her hand and on the phone.
“Samantha, give me the phone. It’s the asshole, isn’t it. You just had to call him the minute my back is turned.”
Sam felt like a small child caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
“No—I just—was lonesome…” Sam voice trailed off lamely.
Valerie grabbed Sam’s phone and yelled into it, “I’m here, dipshit—I’ll always be here. Leave her alone!”
Sam sank onto the bed, waiting. It wasn’t hard to imagine what Barry was saying. Valerie’s face darkened with anger.
“Don’t you get it, man? She’s over you—she’s with me. And I don’t want you intruding on my time anymore.” She signed off the call and tossed the phone on the bed.
Then she turned to Sam, still with that dark cloud over her face.
“What am I gonna do with you, Sam? Can you tell me that?”
Chapter 22: More Changes
Before long, Valerie had moved out of Sally’s house at the insistence of Sally’s family. Apparently they didn’t trust her any more than Barry did. But Sam was still smitten, convinced this was the love of her life. And every night they spent in bed just reinforced Sam’s questionable attachment to this woman.
Valerie must have gotten some money from Sally’s estate because she moved into a studio apartment right on the beach. Not that it was all that fancy according to Sam’s standards, but Valerie told everyone who would listen she had paid six month’s rent in advance. No way could she afford that working in the deli of the local supermarket.
When Sam pulled up to the complex for her third visit there, Valerie was outside waiting. With her was a rail-thin woman who looked about Sam’s age, with hair dyed a fire engine red. Valerie met Sam at the car and carried her bags to the door.
“Hey, baby. So glad you’re here. This is Taffy. She’s my—our—neighbor.”
Taffy grinned, exposing the fact that several teeth were missing. “Sam. I’ve heard nothing but how wonderful you are from this one. She thinks you hung the moon.” And she gave a laugh that sent her into a coughing spell.
Sam said, “Are you okay? I mean—nice to meet you.”
Instead of shaking Sam’s outstretched hand, Taffy came in for a hug. Awkwardly, Sam patted this stranger’s back, hoping she wouldn’t start coughing again.
Valerie rescued her. “Yeah, Taffy, that’s enough. Gotta get my girl a drink and get her settled in for the weekend.”
Once they got inside, Sam collapsed on the bed, which took up a large portion of the tiny living space. She waited for the vodka and tonic Valerie made, and then asked about the woman she had just met.
Valerie replied with a laugh, “Taffy? She’s one messed up bitch. Fuckin’ crackhead is what she is. But she’s good for a laugh sometimes…”
Sam didn’t know what to say to this. Her usual world as a parent and a professional didn’t include crack addicts. But she was still determined Valerie’s love was worth this culture shock.
“She seems friendly, anyway,” Sam offered.
Valerie laughed again, coming to sit next to Sam on the bed. “Yeah, until you piss her off. Then watch out.”
Sam inwardly resolved never to get on the bad side of Taffy. Then Valerie kissed her, and Sam soon lost herself in their passionate lovemaking.
* * * *
They were still in bed, naked under the covers, drinking and talking, when there was a knock at the door. Valerie jumped up and went to the door, naked as the day she was born.
“Hey! Speak to me!”
“Hey, crazy bitch! It’s Kim.”
Valerie opened the door, as Sam pulled the covers more tightly around her breasts. She wasn’t used to meeting people while naked in bed.
Kim was about thirty-five, plump in an attractive, curvy way, with long wavy brown hair. She seemed to be quite at home in Valerie’s apartment, as she went straight to the tiny kitchen and got a beer from the fridge. Then she sat on the foot of the bed as Valerie threw on a robe.
“Sam—the lovely and wonderful Samantha- right?”
Sam nodded wordlessly. She tried to gather her dignity around her, which wasn’t easy.
“Yes, hello.” And then, “Would you mind just tossing me my shirt—the gray one over there.”
Kim laughed. “No problem. Sorry to bother you guys, but I needed to vent. Rough day on the job.”
Sam hastily donned her shirt, and then felt
a little less self-conscious.
Valerie sat behind Sam on the bed, putting her arms around her girlfriend.
“So what’s goin’ on at the store? Did you just come from there?”
Kim warmed up to her rant. “That asshole Brian got on my case again! He claims I forgot to stock the catfish this morning and now there’s none packaged. Since when am I in charge of packaging?”
Valerie shook her head in sympathy.
Sam asked, “Where do you work, Kim?”
Kim replied, “The same damn place Valerie works! Fuckin’ store. Always trying to put something over on the female employees.”
Sam thought about all the positive things she had heard about this particular company, but she wisely kept her mouth shut. Instead, she got up from the bed and pulled her jeans on as quickly as possible.
Kim watched her, saying, “Hey, don’t worry about me, Sam. I’m strictly a dick-lovin’ girl. No matter what Valerie may have told you.”
Since Valerie had never mentioned Kim to her, Sam looked perplexed. Valerie punched Kim lightly on the arm.
“I’m workin’ tomorrow, the early shift. Why don’t you and what’s-his-name come over for dinner. I can make some killer sandwiches straight from the deli.”
“Awesome. What time?”
“Around five. Sam’ll still be here. I stole her away from her creepy-ass husband for the whole fuckin’ weekend.”
* * * *
The following day, Sam drove Valerie to work. At loose ends in the tiny apartment, she eventually decided to go to the pool. She lazily swam laps, enjoying the water and the sun. As she climbed out, she noticed an elderly man in a loud Hawaiian shirt sitting by the pool smoking a cigarette. He smiled at Sam and gave a little wave. Sam dried off and slipped her T-shirt over her head and went to talk to him.
“Hey there, young lady,” he said in greeting. “Did you just move in?”
“No. I—I’m just—visiting someone.” She sat in a chair near the man.
“I’m Herman, Herman Schweitzer. Just an old fart sitting in the Florida sun. Who are you, young lady?”
Sam smiled, and then laughed. “Well, I’m not all that young. Samantha is my name. Sam to my friends.”
“I hope to be your friend, Sam. Old guys like me can use all the friends we can get. Who are you visiting?”
Sam felt a little uncomfortable. Did he know Valerie? And did he know she was a lesbian? She decided to forge ahead—Herman seemed like a nice guy.
“Valerie Leach. Do you know her?”
Now Herman laughed, a throaty cackle that made Sam chuckle just to hear it.
“Everyone around here knows Val. She’s somethin’ else!”
“Yes, I suppose she is. Anyway, I need to get inside and change. I hope to see you again, Mr. Schweitzer.”
“Please, just Herman. I’m too poor to be a Mr.”
Sam smiled at him and gathered her stuff. Then she headed inside to get dressed to pick up Valerie.
* * * *
When she pulled up in front of the grocery, she saw Valerie talking animatedly with a few other uniformed employees. She had a large plastic bag in her hand. When she saw Sam’s car, she waved and then blew a kiss. Sam couldn’t help but grin in response.
Valerie got in the passenger seat of the car, leaning over to kiss Sam.
“Hey, baby. Did ya miss me?”
“Well, yeah. I went for a swim and met your neighbor, Herman. And I made some salad to go with the sandwiches for dinner.”
“Herman? Yeah, he’s a good ole dude. An alky, but a decent fella. I got plenty of top shelf cold cuts for our dinner party. Perks of working in the deli.”
Sam had a vague feeling this meant something she wouldn’t approve of, but she put it aside. The weekend was supposed to be fun, not a source of anxiety.
Chapter 23: Too Close for Comfort
Sam was still convincing herself nothing was wrong with her relationship with Valerie—or with Barry. This took a bit of doing, as Barry was perpetually disgruntled and Valerie’s lifestyle was clearly not lined up with Sam’s expectations. Sam began to feel she was teetering on a balance beam, ready to fall at any moment to injury and humiliation.
During the weekdays and the “kid weekends” when Sam stayed at home, an argument with Barry was always hiding just around the corner. No matter what Sam did, it seemed to blow up in her face. Emily and Dax were quieter than usual and stayed in their rooms or outside. One night, it got totally out of control.
“Sam, come talk to me. I’m out on the porch.”
Sam freshened her drink and joined Barry on the porch. As usual these days, she approached the conversation with apprehension. No matter how they began, the topic generally turned to Valerie.
“How was work today?” asked Sam, trying to stay on a neutral topic.
“Okay. Same as usual. Except Dave got fired.”
“What?! What happened?”
Barry shook his head in disgust. “He lied about an assignment. Blamed his mistakes on someone else and got caught.”
Sam shook her head, too. Dave had seemed like a good guy. Barry’s next comment took her by surprise.
“Lying generally gets people in trouble. Except, of course, for your friend Valerie.”
Sam was speechless, but only for a moment. “What are you talking about? How could you possibly know she’s lying? And about what?”
“What doesn’t she lie about? Sally’s death—where her money comes from—her drug use…”
“Whoa!” Sam said. “I don’t want to talk about this tonight. I have a long day tomorrow, including soccer practice for both Emily and Dax.”
Barry shifted in his chair and took a long drink from his glass of bourbon. “Oh, right. And you’re so concerned about your kids that you go see that bitch every weekend you can.”
Sam stood and started pacing back and forth. “What the hell! I go when they’re at Nic’s! They never even realize it…” Sam knew she was raising her voice, but she couldn’t help it when Barry went down this road.
The argument escalated from there, only ending when Emily poked her head out from the kitchen and asked them to be quieter.
“Mom, I’m trying to write a paper for English. And I think Dax has already gone to bed.”
Sam felt guilty, as usual. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I should probably come in and say goodnight to Dax.”
“Yeah, that’d be good.”
Sam hated being caught by her daughter, yelling at Barry in defense of her lover. She could only hope neither of them knew what exactly was going on.
* * * *
The weekend after that argument, Sam arrived at Valerie’s after dark on Friday. There was a single light on in her apartment, but no sign of Valerie. Sam gathered her bag and went up the darkened stairway to the door, which was unlocked. Inside, she found Valerie asleep on the bed on top of the bedspread.
Sam set her bag down and crept up to kiss her lover on the forehead. Valerie woke with a start and then grabbed Sam roughly, pulling her onto the bed.
An hour or so later, Sam and Valerie lay naked in the bed, legs entwined. For Sam, these moments still felt magical—a huge contrast to the experience she had on the now rare times she had sex with Barry. She sighed contentedly.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Sam was startled out of her reverie, but Valerie seemed to take it as a matter of course.
“Hey! Come on in,” she called out.
The door opened and a head of short curly black hair appeared around the edge of the open door.
“Donna!” Valerie called. “What up?”
Sam sat up in the bed, pulling the covers up over her bare breasts. She still couldn’t get used to visitors in her bedroom.
Donna seemed totally comfortable in Valerie’s space, heading to the kitchen area to get a beer from the fridge. Sam felt a twinge of jealousy. After all, Sam herself lived in another town almost a hundred miles away. If Donna lived nearby and saw Valerie often, was this a th
reat to what Sam thought she had? The idea was a bit disturbing.
Donna sat in one of the two chairs at the foot of the bed. Valerie got up from the bed, naked, and grabbed a robe from a hook on the bathroom door. Then she sat in the other chair and grinned at her friend.
Donna lit a cigarette and smiled back. “So is this Sam? The woman you’ve been bragging about?”
Sam had an odd feeling of being discussed like a science specimen. She crept quietly out of the bed and went to the bathroom to put on her clothes. When she returned in her jeans and T-shirt, Valerie and Donna were laughing uproariously.
Sam sank down on the floor next to Valerie, who immediately put a possessive arm around her. Sam was pleased, put couldn’t help but notice Donna looked uncomfortable.
“This is my woman,” Valerie said, squeezing Sam’s shoulders. “Isn’t she beautiful?”
Now Sam definitely noticed a negative vibe from Donna. Why should she care what our relationship is? She got up and poured herself a glass of wine, then went back to sit on the floor in front of Valerie.
“Hey, how about some dinner. Did you eat yet?” This question was directed at Valerie, ignoring Sam.
Sam watched as her girlfriend thought about it and then answered Donna.
“Yeah, cool. I could go for some Popeye’s chicken. How about you, baby?”
Sam so did not want to go to Popeye’s after a day at work and a long drive. She wasn’t really hungry and just wanted to go to sleep. Preferably with Valerie beside her.
“No, that’s okay. You go without me.” Even as she said this, she prayed Valerie would say no.
“If you’re sure, baby, I’ll go on with Donna and get me some chicken thighs. You know I love dark meat.”
Donna laughed and looked at Sam. “Bitch, you’re crazy. This woman is definitely light and white!” Valerie laughed along with Donna. Before Sam could think of what to say, the two women were out the door and gone. Sam settled back on the bed and turned on the TV. After drinking a couple more glasses of wine, she dozed off on the bed. The next thing Sam knew, Valerie and Donna were back in the two chairs, drinking and laughing. Sam rubbed her eyes and tried to remember what had happened.
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