Hopelessly Broken

by Tawny Taylor

“Not yet. But we’re working on it. I’ll teach you to play,” Bobby said, glancing around as he piled everything in the middle of the floor then headed outside for more. “When we start playing the bigger venues, we’ll need another guitar player.”

  “Me? You want me to play in your band?” Logan said, springing up and down as he followed Bobby outside. “Jenny, did you hear that? When can we start? Can we start right now?”

  “I heard, Logan.” Jenn set down the box she’d been carrying then went out for more. “But first we need to help Bobby get settled. Bobby, your room is this way.” Carting another box, Jenn led him upstairs and around the bend to the room Aeron had been occupying. She dropped the box on the made bed. “The bathroom’s across the hall. There’s only one, so we have to share. Sorry about that.”

  “No biggie. I’ve dealt with worse.” He pushed on the mattress. “This’ll be fine.”

  “Thanks again for helping me out.”

  “No problem.”

  Their gazes locked. Awkward silence enveloped them.

  Desperate to break it, Jenn said, “There’s some leftovers from dinner in the refrigerator, and plenty of cola. Help yourself.”

  “Thanks.” An uneasy feeling passed through Jenn.

  Was she making a huge mistake? This was the guy who broke her heart a year ago. He told her he didn’t know how to deal with her grief and he needed a break. Months later, she’d hoped to hear from him. But as time had passed, that hope had faded. She’d never expected to see him again, let alone be alone with him…in a bedroom.

  Her gaze wandered over his form.

  A tiny spark of attraction still remained. It simmered slightly when he tipped his head and focused on her. But her fear of being hurt again quickly extinguished it.

  “I’ve forgotten how beautiful you are,” he said.

  Oh no. How the hell should she handle this? “Thanks, but there’s no need for empty compliments.”

  “I’m being serious.” He stepped closer. Too close.

  She backed up one step. “Um…I think I’ll head down to grab another box.”

  He caught her hand. “I can haul all that crap up myself. It’s my stuff.”

  She stared down at her fingers, cradled in his. “Sure, but if I help it’ll go faster.”

  “Jenn.” He paused, and her eyes climbed to his face. “I’m sorry about what I did, dumping you. I was a complete ass, and I’ve regretted it for a long time. I just didn’t have the guts to say something to you. I figured you hated me.”

  “I did. For a while,” she confessed.

  “Do you still hate me now?”

  Did she? “No.”

  “Then maybe we can be friends?”

  “Friends.?” She thought about it for a few seconds. “I would like that. You coming here to help is a big step toward that. But it’s going to take some time…”

  A soft smile tugged at his lips, reminding her why she’d fallen so hard for him. “That’s fair. At least I have some hope.” Glancing down, he released her hand. “I’d better get the rest of my stuff out of your living room. Wouldn’t want to try to explain that to DHS.”

  “Exactly.” Aware of his eyes on her back, she descended the stairs, hoping she wouldn’t regret bringing Bobby back into her life.

  She wouldn’t trust him. Not for a long time…if ever.

  Aeron tugged on Cojack’s leash. He’d stood outside of Jenn’s house for at least fifteen minutes. He’d seen enough.

  There was another guy there now.

  Living there.

  Maybe holding her. Kissing her. Making love to her.

  She had what she needed.

  And he…he just wished this case was done so he wouldn’t have to see her again. Just the thought of her being in another guy’s arms made him burn with fury.

  There was nothing he could do about it. Absolutely nothing.

  Yep, he was in hell. No doubt about it.

  Eleven

  It felt good to have a man in the house again. Strange, but good. While the neighborhood wasn’t the best, it wasn’t the worst either. Still, she hadn’t realized how uneasy and vulnerable she felt until now. With Bobby in the house, she felt safer.

  For the first time in ages, she slept the whole night through.

  The next morning, sitting in her usual spot, her closed laptop balanced on her thighs, she sipped her coffee. Lying open on top of her computer was the handwritten letter she’d written to Bobby the day he had broken up with her. She’d never sent it. More than once she’d been grateful for the fact that she hadn’t found the courage.

  I’m madly, deeply in love with you. I thank God every day for bringing you into my life. I may have had my doubts about us, but now I know, without any doubt, that we belong together forever. I’m ready, Bobby. I’m ready to take the next step.

  Yours forever, Jenn.

  What a fool she had been.

  The letter suddenly ripped out of her hands. She was bewildered for a microsecond before realizing someone had snatched it from her. When she realized who that someone was, she plunked down her mug, tossed her laptop aside, and lunged at him.

  Bobby lifted his arm, the letter miles out of her reach. “What’s this?” He was smiling, playful sparkles glinting in his eyes.

  Oh, she remembered this game. Back when they’d been together, she’d loved it. He would take something of hers and play keep-away while she practically climbed all over him. Eventually they would end up making out.

  Back then, it had been fun. But now…“It’s personal,” she said, trying to hide her panic. If he read it, if he saw...Oh God. He couldn’t! “Give it back.”

  “Hmmm.” His eyes glittered as he flipped the paper over in his lifted hand to read the part that wasn’t crushed in his fists. “Is that my name?”

  “No!” Desperate now, she hopped, arm stretched, and tried to grab it. She failed. “Give it back.”

  “That’s my name. What is this?” Raising his other hand, he stretched the letter flat so he could read it.

  She was going to die from embarrassment. “It’s nothing. Just an old letter.” She jumped a second time, and he twisted, keeping it out of reach yet again.

  He focused on the page. Now he was not only distracted but closer to the couch. Desperate to get the letter before he read the whole thing, she stepped up on the cushion and thrust a hand out. She caught it smack dab in the center and tore it away from him.

  He whirled around to grab it back. When she crushed it into a ball and hid it behind her back, he reached both arms around her back, caging her body between them. “I want to read that letter.”

  “No, you can’t.”

  “Yes.”

  “This isn’t a game, Bobby. Stop it.” Now she was shouting. There was no hiding her anger and frustration.

  “I know it isn’t a game. You didn’t send that letter. Why?”

  Her heart was pounding so hard against her breastbone it was painful. She glared into his eyes. “Because I wrote it just before you broke up with me.”

  He clapped his hands around her wrists. Now he had her trapped, his fingers clamped around her wrists like cuffs. “I’ve regretted that day for a long, long time.”

  “No, you haven’t. I heard about the other girls.”

  “I did that shit because I missed you. None of them meant anything to me.”

  “Oh really? So you were pining away for me while fucking them? Riiiight.” She rolled her eyes. Did he think she was that stupid?

  “Believe what you want.” His expression wasn’t sparkly anymore. It was intense. “I know the truth. I know I fucked up.” His eyes inched lower, focusing on her mouth, and a wave of icy cold crashed through her.

  Was he…going to kiss her?

  She froze in place, out of confusion, disbelief. For months she’d rehearsed this moment, knowing exactly what she’d say to him if he ever came crawling back to her, begging for forgiveness. But she’d given up on that possibility ages ago.

  He
tipped his head down.

  Yes. Yes, he was going to kiss her.

  Oh God.

  His mouth met hers, and all the air left her lungs in a quick little huff. His lips were soft, exploring hers gently, caressing and tasting and seducing.

  God, she’d forgotten what an incredible kisser he was. She parted her lips to gulp in a deep breath, and his tongue slipped into her mouth.

  He tasted so good.

  She felt her knees getting wobbly, her resistance and confusion fading. This was the guy she’d once dreamed of marrying. She’d shared every secret with him. She’d trusted him with her life. He was back. He was sorry. He was trying to make up for his mistake.

  Did he deserve a chance?

  She tangled her tongue with his and surrendered to him. Her body flattened against his. Soft curves against hard, lean angles. His arms tightened around her, holding her in place as his mouth conquered hers.

  Oh, God. Ohgod, ohgod, ohgod.

  It was Bobby who broke the kiss. The room filled with the husky sound of their gasping. He looked down into her eyes.

  “I was an idiot to ever let you go. I don’t expect you to trust me yet. But I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust and respect again. And this time, I won’t be an asshole and throw it away.” He released her wrists and stepped back.

  Her tongue swept across her lower lip. It still tasted like him, like his kiss. She raised her fingertips to her mouth. “I…”

  “I’ve got to go to work. I’ll be back at five-thirty.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “Don’t make dinner. I’ll grab something on the way home. Do you still like the Chef’s Special over at Mama Mia’s?”

  “Of course.”

  “Good.” Flashing that killer smile that had once melted her heart, he nodded. “See you later.” Turning, he strolled to the door.

  Her heart didn’t stop hammering against her breastbone for at least twenty minutes. Then, when someone knocked, hard, on her front door, it started all over again. Was it Bobby? Had he felt he needed to knock, even though he was staying there? Once again, she set aside her laptop and hurried to check.

  It was her caseworker. She was staring at the little window in the door.

  It was time to face the music. But she was prepared. Feeling she now had nothing to worry about, she pulled open the door. “Hello.”

  “Hello, Jennifer.” The case worker’s eyes didn’t stop moving as she took in her surroundings. “I would like to speak to your aunt.”

  Clearly, she’d forgotten what she’d been told at her last visit. “My aunt isn’t here.”

  “When will she be returning?”

  “I don’t believe she will be. She left. Her son, my cousin Robert, has been staying with us.”

  Grimacing, Mrs. Tate reached into the tote hanging from her arm and pulled out a notebook. “Your aunt left? When? How long has she been gone? Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I told you--she left a couple of months ago.” Jenn intentionally avoided answering the last question.

  “You didn’t call me. You have my card. Did you lose it?”

  “I didn’t think I needed to call you. My cousin has been staying with us. There’s been no problems.”

  Mrs. Tate flipped open the file, snapping, as she skimmed its contents, “That’s not what I’ve heard.”

  Jenn’s insides twisted. “What? What have you heard?”

  Mrs. Tate poked at a page in the file. “There’s been a report that you and your brother have been living alone.”

  “It’s not true. My cousin--”

  “Listen, Miss Reynolds,” Mrs. Tate interrupted, “I’m not the enemy. My job is to make sure you and your brother are safe and provided for.” The tone of her voice told Jenn a very different story. It said she was the enemy, and she was this close to taking Logan away.

  Jenn couldn’t let that happen. She was so close to being eighteen. “Mrs. Tate, I swear we are safe and provided for. My cousin has done just fine. And anyway, m birthday--”

  “Where is this cousin?” Mrs. Tate gave her a very cold, very scary glare.

  “He’s at work. He left ten minutes ago. He’ll be home at about six o’clock.”

  “Six o’clock?” Mrs. Tate checked her watch. “Very well. I’ll come back. At six o’clock. But I want to stress that I’m here to help you and your brother. If you need my assistance, I want you to call me.”

  Yeah, right. “I will. I promise.” When hell freezes over.

  “Good. All right, I’ll come back later.”

  Jenn shut the door and, leaning back against the wall, heaved a heavy sigh of relief. If Bobby hadn’t come over last night and offered to step in as her “cousin” she would be in real trouble. His timing couldn’t have been any better.

  * * * * *

  Despite her efforts to write at least ten pages on her latest project, time dragged. Sllllooooowwwwllllyyy. By the time Logan came stomping up to the front door and three fourty-five, Jenn was thrilled to have the distraction. The noise. The cheerful jabbering about Bobby and dinner and everything under the sun. Logan made the rest of the afternoon a lot less painful. Chatting with him, Jenn served him his favorite snack, cereal, and helped him with his homework. They had just finished practicing his spelling words when Bobby came bustling through the house, a big paper bag full of carryout in his arms.

  He hadn’t even set the bag down when he said, “Jenn, I’ve been thinking all day about what happened this morning. I want to apologize for reading that letter. I was an asshole for taking it from you.” He started to set the bag down on the table, but she stopped him, waving him over to the counter.

  “It’s…okay.” She took the bag from him and pulled out the foam cartons. “Thanks for buying dinner.”

  “No problem. It’s the least I could do. I bought a variety of stuff, so give Logan whatever you think he’ll like.” He shook his head. “What I did this morning wasn’t okay. It wasn’t even close to okay.” He flipped one of the lids off. Lasagna. When she handed him an empty plate and fork he thanked her then added, “I don’t know why I did it. At first I was just playing around but then I saw my name and I had to know what it said.” He cut a portion of the lasagna and dumped it onto his plate.

  “And now that you’ve read it?” She took the rest of the lasagna and plated it for Logan. Then she poured some milk and called for Logan, telling him to come down for dinner.

  “Now that I’ve read it, I feel even worse than I did before. I shouldn’t have run away. I didn’t know how to help you after your mom and dad died. I got scared, and I ran. I wish I’d been stronger.”

  With Logan all set, she dished out some of the tortellini she loved onto a plate. Grabbing a pair of forks and some napkins, she tipped her head toward the living room. “We can eat in there if you want.”

  “Sure.” He followed her.

  As she was taking a seat, she said, “We’re both too young to know how to handle intense stuff. Grief. That’s huge.” She pierced a noodle and put it in her mouth. Insanely delicious.

  “You did good. Look at you. Making enough money to take care of yourself and your brother. Helping him. Stepping into the role of mother…and father.” His gaze locked on hers. “I really respect you for what you’ve done, how strong you’ve become.”

  Strong. If only he knew how weak and vulnerable she felt sometimes, how many times she’d thought she didn’t have the strength to go on another minute. She couldn’t even say how she’d made it this far. “I’m nobody,” she said as she chewed.

  “You’re somebody very important to that kid in there. You’re everything to him.”

  “And he’s everything to me. If I hadn’t had to keep going for him, I know I would’ve given up a long time ago. The truth is I need him as much as he needs me.”

  “You have each other,” Bobby said, turning his attention to his plate. He poked at his lasagna. “That’s good.”

  She knew what he hadn’t said, w
hat was lingering between his words. She had a brother who loved her and needed her, while he had nobody. No parents. No brothers or sisters or grandparents. Nobody but himself. She didn’t know what to say, so she just looked down at her plate and sighed.

  He was the one to break the silence. “I want you to hear something. A song. I wrote it a long time ago.” He set down his plate—he hadn’t taken a single bite yet—and jumped to his feet.

  “Sure.” Remembering how much she’d loved listening to him sing and play when they were together, she ate while she waited for him to get his guitar upstairs. He had an amazing voice, but it was the depth of meaning in his songs that had touched her. She knew every word of every song he’d ever written and when he sang them, the meaning echoed through her whole body. But when they had been dating, he’d gone a stretch without being able to write anything new. Had he found his voice again?

  Logan zoomed by, saying something about going upstairs to play just as Bobby returned with his guitar. He sat beside her and strummed a chord, singing, “When I broke up with you, I had no idea what it would do to me. You were the only light in my life. When I lost you, everything went black. I couldn’t find my way.”

  It was a song about her. About regret and loss and guilt. And as it continued, the lyrics said everything she’d longed to hear him say and more. So much more. By the end of the song she was crying.

  He set his guitar aside and gazed into her eyes. “I didn’t know I loved you then. But I know it now.” He dragged both thumbs under her eyes, smudging her tears. “And if you’ll take me back, I promise I won’t let you down again.”

  The beauty of his confession made it impossible for her to reject him, even though she was still scared. Would he hurt her again?

  Maybe.

  But he still loved her. He really loved her. And right now, that was what she craved more than anything. She wanted love.

  She wanted someone to hold her and tell her everything would be okay--even though another guy’s image flashed in her head every now and then.

  That guy was Aeron.

  Oh God, Aeron.

  What about him?

  He’d told her they could never be.