Assumptions

by Melanie Codina

  As we stepped up onto the porch, I barely noticed the holiday decorations. All I could focus on was the noise coming from the other side of the door. It sounded like there was a mob of people in there. I thought he’d said it was only going to be his immediate family? Glancing behind us, I took in the amount of cars lining the street and filling the driveway. They couldn’t all be for this house. Could they?

  Stopping in front of the door, I asked, “Exactly how big is your family? It sounds louder than a frat party. The only thing missing is the smell of stale beer and a drunk passed out on the lawn.” I quickly examined the lawn to see if I’d missed something. Nope. Just Frosty the Snowman proudly waving his top hat on the lawn.

  Jonathan huffed a laugh next to me, bringing my focus back to the reason I was there. Meeting the family. “It’s too early in the day for a drunk to be passed out on the lawn, Leeann. Give it another hour or two.”

  Seriously? I gave him a look of disbelief. He laughed again. “Relax babe.” Pulling me into a hug, he smiled down at me. “You have nothing to worry about. Once my mom falls in love with you, everyone else will follow.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Great. No pressure at all. Just win over the matriarch of the family. How will I know if I’ve won her over? Will there be some kind of signal to the rest of the family letting them know? Is there a special nod, or maybe a wink, followed by a lot of whispering and passing it on?”

  Jonathan barked out a laugh this time, squeezing me tightly in his arms as his head fell back with the response. When he came back up, he quickly kissed me on the lips. “Damn, you’re adorable when you’re like this. Makes me want to drag you out of here, find a dark corner, and take advantage of you.”

  A surprising amount of arousal flared through my body considering how nervous I was. Maybe it was because if he did that, I’d not only get the joy of being taken advantage of, but I’d get out of meeting the family. “Please? You should definitely do that. I’ll totally make it worth your while.”

  Jonathan groaned and kissed me again. “Do you really think I’d bring you here if I didn’t think you’d be fully accepted?”

  I knew he wasn’t a jackass like that, so most likely not. Now I could add guilt to my overflowing anxiety. Sighing, I said, “No, I know you wouldn’t, but seriously, how many people are we talking about?”

  Jonathan began counting in his head, while his fingers moved along with his thoughts. He had to be doing that on purpose, just to push my buttons. Right? It was when he seemed to be rounding the number twenty that I smacked his chest. “Okay, I get it! There’s a shitload of people in there.”

  I tried to turn in his arms and face the door, but he prevented the movement. As I looked back up at him, he raised his eyebrows. “You are beautiful, and funny, a total smartass, and as loveable as they come. You’ll have them eating out of your hands in no time at all.”

  Yes, I melted a little with the sincerity I could clearly hear in his words. My cheeks warmed a little, and I gave him a one-sided smile. “That’s a nice list of attributes you have for me, soccer player.”

  He hugged me a little tighter as he leaned in closer. “You definitely have nice attributes, my spandex-wearing goddess. But that list is only for me.” He nipped my earlobe, making me jump a little. With one more kiss to my lips, he smiled and said, “Let’s do this.”

  I nodded and took a deep breath as he opened the door for us. I can do this, I thought to myself as the muffled sounds behind the door became decipherable. I heard little ones running around, the booming laugh of a man, and the mixed chatter of women’s voices. All of which slowly disappeared as we stepped through the doorway and into the living room. Okay, maybe not all the noises went away. I wasn’t sure if the thumping sound of my heart drowned the others out, but a look around the room told me otherwise. All the adults in the room had stopped talking and were now looking at us.

  Hello lion’s den, meet your newest prey. I forced a swallow around my suddenly dry throat and leaned into Jonathan. It was probably only a few seconds, but it felt like forever before a woman approached us. She was average height with thick, wavy brown hair that was laced with lighter golden browns. Her eyes were bright, and, as soon as the smile spread across her face, I knew this had to be his mom. Her gaze was fixed on me, and her expression was nothing but welcoming. I felt myself relax a little.

  As she stepped closer, she turned her attention to Jonathan. “Hey kiddo.”

  “Hi Mom.” Jonathan left his arm around me as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek. When he stood tall next to me again, I felt his grip tighten. “Mom, this is Leeann.” I couldn’t help but pick up on the pride in his voice as he introduced me. It wasn’t clear what, or who, he felt that way about, but it was still endearing.

  His mom turned her attention back to me, and I stuck out my hand, momentarily cursing myself for not making sure it wasn’t sweaty. “Hello, Mrs. Baxter, it’s nice to meet you.”

  Next to me, Jonathan stiffened before saying, “She’s actually a Michaels, not a Baxter.”

  I bristled at his slightly harsh tone, even though it was whispered. Looking at him with a slight glare, I whispered just as harshly, “Well, maybe you should have filled me in on that beforehand.”

  Jonathan’s face looked apologetic as he opened his mouth to say something, but only an oomph escaped. Then his mother said, “Don’t be an ass, Jonathan. I was a Baxter for seventeen years, and a Cooper before that. I still claim both names as part of me.”

  A small giggle escaped as I watched Jonathan be put in his place by his mom. She then turned to me and added, “But you can call me Gillian. There’s no need for formalities here.”

  Then her arm was around my shoulder and she was leading me away from Jonathan. I looked over my shoulder at him with a pleading look, but, realized quickly, there was nothing he could do to rescue me. Gillian led me farther into the room toward the three women sitting on the couch. Stopping in front of them, she said, “I’d let Jonathan introduce you to the important women in his life, but clearly he’s forgotten his manners today.”

  Again, I wanted to giggle. His mom was cool.

  “These are Jonathan’s aunts. Morgan is the adorable blonde on the end.” I got a tiny wave and a smile, which I returned.

  Gesturing to a woman who was obviously breastfeeding, Gillian said, “Tori is the beautiful redhead in the middle, and under that blanket is gorgeous little Lilly. She’s the newest addition to the clan.”

  “Hi, Leeann. Nice to meet you,” Tori said with a smile and a handshake.

  Next to her, a very pregnant woman snorted. “How come they get introduced before me? I’m his favorite aunt, and I’ve been around the longest.”

  I smiled at the attitude, immediately liking the woman. Gillian squeezed my shoulder and addressed the woman, “Chill, Al, I was going from left to right. Besides, we all know you’ll monopolize more of her time once I introduce you.”

  “As is my right as favorite aunt.”

  Shaking her head, Gillian said, “Leeann, this is apparently Jonathan’s favorite, and oldest aunt, Allie.”

  “Hey, I said longest, not oldest. Don’t be mean,” Allie chided, rubbing her large stomach. Clearly she was due any time now.

  Extending my hand, I again offered the traditional, “Nice to meet you.”

  Allie shook my hand. “Oh please, you’re probably ready to run out of here. And it’s awesome to meet me, just so you know.”

  I definitely laughed out loud at that comment. “Okay, awesome to meet you.”

  Allie smiled bigger and looked over my shoulder. “I like her Jonathan. She listens to me and has one hell of an ass. I bet I could bounce quarters off it.”

  There was a collective gasp around the room. My eyes widened in the silence before I began to laugh. Allie’s smiled broadened, and she winked at me. Clearly it was some kind of test.

  Gillian was laughing a little as she said, “Ignore her. She thinks because she’s pregnant, nobody
will say anything about her non-existent filter.”

  Allie huffed, “It’s not because I’m pregnant, Gillian. It’s because I’m pregnant with twins. I should be able to toilet paper the White House and get away with it. And since I’ve been pregnant for like two years, you should all be used to it by now.”

  Twins? And did she say two years?

  “Um, wow … two years?” I asked in a mumbled voice.

  Gillian answered, “You’ll come to see she’s quite dramatic.”

  “Again, I call rights on that because I’ve been sharing my body for so long,” Allie protested from her spot on the couch. “All I have to say is if my husband comes near me with that magic penis of his before someone’s tubes are tied, he’ll be singin’ soprano for sure.”

  There were muted laughs around the room, just as a man carrying a baby girl entered. “Why is my wife talking about a magic penis?”

  “Apparently you have one,” said a man on the other side of the room. Another round of laughs filled the air as Mr. Magic Penis kissed Allie on the forehead and handed her the baby. Allie’s face lit up as the child, who had to be just under one, put her arms out for her mother.

  Next to me, Gillian said, “This would be one of the reasons Allie claims to have been pregnant for almost two years … her daughter, Hope.”

  The man stood and offered his hand, “I’m Mike Lawson, Allie’s husband. You must be Leeann.”

  “Yes, nice to meet you,” I said, shaking his hand. Gillian then turned me, and I was introduced to a long list of uncles, a stepdad, cousins, and siblings. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. I had no idea how everyone was related—just that they all looked to be utterly comfortable in their surroundings. They were definitely all family.

  Nothing like being treated like a child by your mother, in front of your girlfriend. I guess it ranked right up there with being an ass to your girlfriend in front of your mom. I’d admit my comment did come out a little snippy, but I hadn’t meant it. It was just a touchy subject for me. Leeann didn’t know that, though, and I really needed to get her away from everyone so I could apologize. It was bad enough Allie said something about liking her ass. While I couldn’t deny it was a perfect ass, poor Leeann shouldn’t have had it pointed out in front of everyone, only minutes after meeting them. To know Allie was to love her, but I knew I wasn’t the only one looking forward to her pregnancy being over.

  Deciding it was time to rescue Leeann, I stepped up behind her. Wrapping my arm around her to let her know I was there, I waited for the opportunity to interrupt. Not that I thought my mom or aunts would stop talking anytime soon. When Hope made noise, directing everyone’s attention to her, I jumped in. “Mom, I’m going to give Leeann a tour. Where’s Ella?”

  Mom released her hold on Leeann. “Last I saw Ella, she’d interrupted your father’s skype call with Madison. I do believe she was wrapping up her ABC’s and moving on to ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’”

  Typical Ella, I thought. Looking to Leeann, I said, “Come on, I can introduce you to my other sister.”

  Before I could get away, Mom stepped closer and whispered, “I expect you to politely introduce your father, Jonathan.” When I gave her an annoyed look, she just raised her eyebrows at me. She was right and wouldn’t let it go until I agreed, so I did.

  “Of course I will.”

  That earned me a nod and the ability to escape the living room where the hoard of family members had congregated in a room without a television, which was odd since it was New Year’s Day and there were football games on. Clearly they had been waiting for me to show up with Leeann. We hadn’t yet cleared the room when I heard Aunt Tori mumble, “You’re right Allie, that’s a great ass.”

  “Walk faster,” I groaned as I practically propelled us out of that room to avoid Allie’s response.

  When I steered us toward the staircase, Leeann looked back at me over her shoulder. “Are you walking behind me so you can look at my ass, too?”

  Thankfully she was giggling, or I’d be embarrassed by what my aunts had said. Then again, it probably wouldn’t be the last time that’d happen.

  Pinching the ass everyone seemed to be talking about, I admitted, “I’d look at this ass all day if I could.”

  She somehow managed to put a little bit more sway in her step as she climbed the steps to my room. If she wasn’t careful, I’d be the one putting them in an embarrassing situation. Considering how much noise Leeann normally made, there’d be no way Allie wouldn’t say something about that.

  After nudging her into my room, I locked the door before turning to meet Leeann’s stern look. Her arms were crossed over her chest, drawing my attention to those “attributes” we were chatting about earlier, and her eyebrows were raised in question. Guess I’d be getting a scolding from more than my mom today. Putting my hands up in defense, I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come across like such an asshole. I don’t even know why I reacted that way.” Well, maybe that wasn’t true, but were we at the airing-our-dirty-laundry part of our relationship? I didn’t think so, so I went with the CliffsNotes version.

  Never the type of guy who acted the coward, not to mention she didn’t seem too mad, I stepped into her space and rested my hands on her shoulders. I was glad she didn’t shrug them off and step away, but then again, Leeann didn’t strike me as the kind to back down either. “I’m really sorry. It’s just that my parents got divorced a few years back, and I guess I’m still a little touchy about it.” I shrugged and gave her a look that hopefully conveyed my sincerity.

  Her eyebrows scrunched together. “Obviously, but do me a favor, and next time tone down the asshole a little. That could have been avoided if you’d introduced her to me as Mrs. Michaels, you know.”

  Stroking my hands down her arms, unsure if I was soothing her or just filling my desire to touch her, I said, “I know, and again, I’m sorry.” I gave her a smirk in hopes of coaxing one out of her. She relaxed and dropped her hands to find my waist. I took advantage of the move and pressed my body against hers. “Am I forgiven?”

  “Nothing to forgive, but just try and contain your inner jerk in the future. I’ll have no problem putting you in your place in front of that army you call a family down there,” she joked as her arms wrapped around my waist, holding me against her.

  “I think I can handle that.” I stole a kiss as I let me arms settle around her and rest on her lower back. “Thank you for being such a good sport. I know they can be overwhelming, but they’re really great once you get to know them. And Aunt Allie isn’t always so outspoken like that.”

  Leeann snorted. “I find that very hard to believe. I’d bet some serious money Allie has no problem speaking whatever the hell is on her mind.”

  A laugh escaped me; she was definitely right there. “Okay, maybe I should say that usually she is bit more tactful.”

  She nodded with a smile, accepting that description of Allie instead. Looking around my bedroom, she inquired, “So … childhood bedroom?”

  I took in what she was seeing, suddenly self-conscious. This wasn’t where most of my stuff was anymore since I spent most of the year in Orange County—a place I’d be returning to in just under two weeks, I thought, fighting a frown. But still, this room had my stamp on it, too, so I wanted her to like it. Even if it was just a bedroom.

  Breaking away from me, I watched as she moved to the shelving unit that had various books, pictures, and memorabilia on it. She ran a finger over a picture of me holding Ella when she was first born. Then she touched another picture of Robby and me on graduation day. Smiling over her shoulder, she said, “You two have been playing together for a long time, haven’t you?”

  I smiled at the picture after stepping closer to her. “Yeah, goes back to junior high for us. We really lucked out when CSOC came scouting at our game, and they left wanting both of us. Not that we wouldn’t have played separately elsewhere,” I said. “It’s just pretty cool to go to a new place and know t
here’s at least one guy there who’ll always have your back.”

  I fought the wave of frustration that threatened to drench me whenever I thought about not finishing our college career on the soccer field together. Even though I was working hard, and I wanted it badly, it was the unknown factors that gripped me by the throat and tried to pull me under. Shaking it off, I refocused on Leeann as her teasing reached my ears.

  “Aww, that’s so sweet. Got a little bromance going with Robby? Should he be worried about me moving in on his territory?” I shook my head at her mischievous grin and pulled her back against me with a mock glare.

  “Ah, my favorite little smartass is coming out to play.” I made sure to punctuate the word ‘ass’ with a little squeeze to one cheek. She swatted at my chest. “Apparently I’m more than just a great ass.”

  Groaning, I kissed her quickly. “I don’t know if I’m more embarrassed that my aunts were talking about your ass, or turned on because its greatness keeps coming up.”

  “Definitely feels like something is up.” She pressed her hips forward into mine, rubbing up against the hard parts.

  “Leeann…” I growled in warning as my lips hovered over hers.

  She smirked before she was suddenly out of my arms and heading for the bedroom door. “Serves you right, buddy. Next time contain your inner asshole, and I won’t feel the need to torture your manbits.”

  The door was open, and I followed her into the hall. “Hey, I’d prefer if you’d refrain from using words like manbits when talking about my dick. ‘Bits’ is too close to ‘bitty’ and that rhymes with ‘itty,’ and that is definitely unfuckingacceptable.”