Lost But Not Forgotten

by Roz Denny Fox

  “Who’s Jeremy?” Gillian asked the question offhandedly.

  “My foster brother,” Ethan replied. “He’s still in high school. This month, he’s sure he wants to be a dog handler. Next month, who knows.” A smile wreathed Ethan’s face.

  “Or maybe he’ll want to be a cop,” Gillian suggested in a light voice.

  Her remark didn’t coax a comment or a smile from Mitch, however. He continued to look like a thunder-cloud waiting for a party to rain on.

  She didn’t have long to wait for the deluge once they’d fastened their seat belts and were driving in the direction of the Knights’ house.

  “You said you tricked your husband into having a baby.” Mitch’s blunt remark seemed to echo inside the cab of his pickup. “You went off the pill without telling him.”

  Gillian exhaled on a long hiss of air. “Wha-aa-at?”

  It didn’t seem possible, but the tension that existed between them wound even tighter. “Up on the mountain, you didn’t seem too worried about birth control. Damn, I always take care of…well, I’ve never had an accident before,” Mitch said, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

  “I haven’t needed to worry. I mean…there’s been no reason to until…until…” Squeezing her eyes shut, she massaged her temples. “There’s no reason to think—”

  “How do you figure? We went at it hot and heavy. The damned rubber split.”

  “I know.” She tried to hide her flaming cheeks by covering them with her hands. “My, ah, over the ten months, I lost a lot of weight. My periods have been really erratic,” she blurted. “I told you that.” Underneath her protests, Gillian suffered a mixture of fear along with an unreasonable ray of hope. While she was afraid of losing another baby, deep down, she’d love to be pregnant. She longed for a child.

  Plainly, Mitch felt more like Daryl on the subject of starting a family. But plenty of women raised families alone. She could. She had skills and a college degree.

  She also had criminals demanding she turn over something she didn’t possess.

  Mitch cast furtive glances in her direction. Mostly he had to pay attention to driving as the traffic on the freeway filled in. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Ways to reassure you there’s no cause for concern. I was sick, really nauseated, almost from the moment of conception last time. I feel fine, Mitch.”

  “Oh. Well, maybe after we settle into Noreen’s condo, we can check the phone book and locate a doctor.”

  “What for?”

  Mitch tripped over his tongue. “You know…a female doctor.”

  Gillian found herself growing irritated. “A female physician, huh? In what specialty, Mitch?”

  His brows lowered into a straight line. “Are you having me on?”

  “Yes.” She was dangerously close to erupting. “Oh, Mitch. Tell me why men are so adept at initiating sex, and so abysmal when it comes to frank discussions about it?”

  “Who initiated this conversation?”

  “You did. In anger.”

  “More at myself than you, Gilly. I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have said that about tricking Daryl. I understand how you felt, wanting to have a baby.” He sighed. “But you’re right. It should be a mutual decision. I know a lot of guys who feel their partner’s solely responsible for making or not making babies. I consider it a fifty-fifty deal. So now I feel responsible. The other day, when I saw the condition of the condom, I should’ve called a halt. Instead, I lost all control.”

  She debated the wisdom of admitting she’d lost control, as well. It was just as well that she’d learned now, though, where they stood. Where Mitch stood. Gone were those seductive daydreams—in which her problems disappeared and she lived happily ever after in Desert City with Mitch Valetti.

  Clearly, no such notion had popped into Mitch’s head. “Quit worrying,” she said firmly. “Find a new topic, Mitch. We’ve worn this one out.”

  “For now. We’re almost at Ethan’s. I see Odella’s car in the drive. Remember, we can’t stay long—we’ve got a lot to do. I hope we don’t have to haggle to buy back your car. Once we drop it off at Impound, the staff will conduct a thorough sweep. That’ll be one thing less to worry about. If there’s a scrap of loose metal hidden anywhere, you can bet your boots they’ll find it.”

  “When will they get to the car? If it’s soon and they turn up a key, won’t we have gone to Sedona for nothing? You said it was a four-hour drive from here.”

  “Believe me, you won’t mind the drive. Not even at night. Up there, even the stars are bigger and brighter.”

  “If you’re so crazy about Sedona, why live here?”

  “I wish I’d invested in a piece of vacation property in Sedona when I first moved to the desert. These days the cost is prohibitive.”

  Gillian let the information sink in as Mitch parked, got out and came around the car to open her door. His courtliness was refreshing. It was a shame that he fit, in so many ways, her ideal vision of the perfect mate. When had Daryl fallen short? Or had her ideals changed after she’d lost Katie?

  Regan met them at the door. “I’m glad to see you two. We expected you back much sooner. Odella’s been waiting. Gillian, your apartment’s been tossed.”

  “Tossed?” Gilly paused in the hall where she’d bent to lift one of the boys. Mark, she thought, as she tried to recall if he had the darker hair or if that was Rick.

  “Sorry, cop jargon rubs off on spouses. Searched. Your apartment’s been searched.”

  “Tossed is more descriptive,” Odella interjected. “Drawers were dumped. Your sofa cushions were slashed. And I’m afraid there are no pockets left on any of your jeans.” She stepped over a spill of large, snap-together blocks to join the others in the hall.

  “Did you let Ethan know?” Mitch hauled out his cell phone. “Were you careful not to disturb the mess, Odella?” As Odella nodded, he muttered, “We’ll have our guys dead to rights if Ethan can match their prints to any in Gilly’s apartment. Unless they wore gloves,” he said more to himself. “Yeah, I think both of ’em had gloves yesterday.”

  Regan shut the door behind Mitch and moved everyone down the hall. “I left Ethan a message. Amy said he flew past her on his way to request a car examination.”

  “My car,” Gillian announced. “The one I drove from New Orleans, not the one outside. Mitch, if you’re afraid the man I sold the car to will give us a hard time, we could trade him the one I have now. It’s newer and has fewer miles on the odometer. I don’t mind absorbing the loss if it’ll speed things along.”

  “Might. Odella, you say Gilly’s clothes were ruined?”

  “Yep. And your cosmetics and toiletries were a fright. Not that you had many to begin with.”

  Regan scooped Cara out of her walker and kissed away the baby’s tears. She’d been howling over having gotten the device wedged into a corner behind Regan’s office door. “Don’t forget to tell Gilly they emptied out her bathroom wastebasket and probably know she’s coloring her hair.”

  Odella laughed. “Seems to me you just told her.”

  “Not everything. I didn’t say you stopped at the pharmacy on your way here and bought a sable rinse. Mitch, can you go trade for the car by yourself? Odella and I will be undertaking Gilly’s next makeover in about half an hour. Those thugs won’t be looking for someone with brown hair.”

  “At this rate,” Mitch grumbled, “we’ll never get to her hideout. But I learned months ago not to argue with Regan when she gets something in her head. Gilly, I’ll need the name and address of the guy who bought your car.”

  “It’s in my purse. Oh, wait. What about my purse?”

  “Trashed,” Odella supplied. “They dumped the contents, and cut up the lining. If you had any money, I’m afraid it’s gone. Otherwise, I brought the stuff that spilled.”

  Tears speckled Gillian’s eyelashes. “That was everything I’d saved from working at the café. How will I replace my clot
hes? I have funds in an account at home. But I’ve been afraid to use my debit card or access any Noelle McGrath credit cards.”

  Mitch gathered her and baby Mark into his arms. “God, Gilly, I’m sorry. Your life seems to go from bad to worse.”

  “Good thing she has you,” Regan said staunchly.

  “And us,” Odella added. “Although I’ve gotta run. Roger phoned. One of our sons came by the house. He’s taking us to dinner. I never turn down a free meal,” she said, laughing. She squeezed Gillian’s shoulder on her way out.

  Gillian sniffed and snuggled tighter into the hollow of Mitch’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were working with those men.” She drew from his warmth and his strength. “Thank goodness they didn’t get their hands on Katie’s suitcase.” Gilly lifted one of Mark’s pudgy fingers and kissed the dimpled knuckle. She wished she could kiss Mitch, but didn’t feel right doing so in front of Regan.

  Regan’s eyes filled with tears. “Ethan told me you were the mother Mitch has been trying to locate. I can’t have children of my own, Gillian. So I identify with your loss. Although, with the babies and Ethan, my life is finally complete. This is as good a time as any to apologize for asking if you were pregnant the night Mitch brought you to dinner.”

  “You did what?” Mitch stiffened. “Jeez, Regan.”

  “So sue me. You said eating made her sick, and she denied having an eating disorder. Butt out, Valetti. It’s Gilly I’m apologizing to.”

  “And I accept.” Gillian said, emerging from the circle of Mitch’s arms.

  Mitch reluctantly let her go.

  Regan pointed to the kitchen clock. “Hadn’t you better get going after that car? Otherwise, it’ll be too late to show up at anyone’s house to dicker.”

  He automatically checked his watch and saw that time was getting away from them. He’d like to take Regan aside and subtly ask more about the signs and symptoms of pregnancy. Gilly had brushed his earlier concerns aside all too blithely. If, by some twist of fate, he’d created a baby with her, he wanted to know so he could do the right thing. He wasn’t a man to use a woman for personal pleasure, then walk away, leaving her to deal with consequences. Not only that, this was Gillian. She’d already taken up residence in his fantasies. Though, Lord knew she hadn’t given him any reason to hope she felt the same. On that sour note, he strode past Regan and slammed out of the house.

  “I wonder what’s bothering Mitch,” Regan mused, as she and Gillian watched him stalk off without so much as a goodbye.

  Gillian suspected she knew what troubled him. Inadvertently, she sneaked a hand to her flat belly. If by some miracle, she carried Mitch Valetti’s baby, she would deem it a gift. Why couldn’t men be happy about such joyous news? she wondered sadly, remembering the fights she’d had with Daryl. Mitch’s reaction today had been only slightly milder. There was probably no reason for Mitch to worry—or for her to hope. Her chances of being pregnant weren’t very great.

  “I’m afraid I blew into town, Regan, and disrupted poor Mitch’s entire life. I’ve told him time and again that he shouldn’t involve himself in my troubles. He won’t listen.”

  “Mitch puts his heart and soul into everything he does. It’s not your fault…unless you’re stringing him along.”

  Gillian’s face underwent such a profound and deep softening that Regan hugged her impulsively. Flinging an arm around Gilly in sisterly fashion, Regan turned her toward the master bath, where she and Odella had already set out everything to transform Noelle McGrath, now Gillian Stevens, from a redhead into a brunette.

  THEY DIDN’T lay eyes on Mitch again for almost two weeks. The car had been resold into Mexico. He went after it because Ethan thought it was of paramount importance. Gillian stayed with Regan and Ethan. She kept a low profile. Mitch, who worried constantly about her situation, drove them crazy with phone calls.

  The men in the blue car managed to stay two steps ahead of Ethan. However, Ethan had several good leads to follow by the time Mitch slipped into town again under the cover of darkness and knocked at the Knights’ door.

  He was admitted by Gilly and stared at her in shock. Someone, Regan presumably, had cut Gilly’s hair as short as a boy’s. The fall of red bangs he’d found so attractive now kissed her forehead in feathery brown curls. There was no hair to speak of in back—at least, not enough to run his fingers through. Only wisps touched her cheeks; the rest had been clipped close to her head above her ears. Even the blue eyes he’d counted on to read her moods had turned brown as a doe’s.

  “Well,” she said, pirouetting under his nose. “Say something, darn it. Regan worked hard to create this masterpiece.”

  Swallowing the curse he’d been about to utter, Mitch gained control of his roiling senses. She was still pretty, but in a different way. Cute was the word, he supposed. Pixie-ish. “I li-ike it,” he stammered. “I understand why you ladies changed the hair from red to brown. But…I’m not hallucinating…your eyes were blue?”

  “Designer contacts, silly,” Regan sang out from the kitchen. “Nonprescription.”

  “She’s feeding the kids,” Gillian confided. “I know that when you phoned from the station, you said we needed to leave right away. But if we can spare a few minutes, I’d like to finish helping. The kids all have sniffles. And Regan’s had a tough few days.”

  “Uh, we can leave whenever you want. You’ve been okay here for two weeks. I was about ready to say to heck with finding the car. When I finally tracked it down in Hermosillo, the owner was tickled to trade up. He didn’t even question when I said you wanted it back out of sentimentality. I tell you, some people are too gullible for words.”

  Gillian led the way down the hall. Mitch hung back to savor the sway of her hips. He flinched when she turned short of the door and smacked into the wall.

  “For God’s sake, Gilly, can’t you see? A disguise is one thing, putting yourself at risk is something else entirely.”

  “Odella bought plain glass lenses. I’ve experienced some distortion. Not much, but having a foreign object in your eye takes some getting used to.”

  “So what do you think?” Regan asked the minute Mitch entered her kitchen. “Isn’t she adorable?”

  “She was adorable before.”

  “You don’t like the makeover?” Regan frowned.

  “Back off, Regan. Did I say I didn’t like it? Sheesh. Women!” He bent over and wiped green beans off Rick’s chin. “Take my word on this, guy. Don’t venture any opinions on how a woman looks until you’re a hundred and five. By then you’ll both be farsighted enough that she can’t argue your point.”

  “Mitch, you’re bad.” Regan popped another spoonful of beans into Rick’s mouth. “Tell Uncle Mitch he’ll never go wrong if he learns to say Honey, you’re beautiful.”

  “And get my face slapped? Forget it, kid. Listen to me.”

  Gillian finished feeding Cara. She cleaned the baby’s face and hands with a damp washcloth, then lifted her out of the high chair. “You and Ethan are so lucky,” Gillian declared, kissing Cara’s silky hair. “Even though they’ll always have a special bond, all four kids will develop uniquely as you encourage them to form their own opinions.”

  She blushed profusely when it became apparent that Regan and Mitch had stopped their banter to stare at her. “I—I read a lot of books on child-rearing when I was pregnant.”

  “A miracle in itself, what with old Daryl staying up nights to play with his numbers,” Mitch breathed testily.

  “Don’t make me sorry I told you that, Mitch. We’ve already established I was at fault. Look, the kids are done eating. If we’re going to Sedona tonight, hadn’t we better head out?”

  “Yes,” Regan said. “Gillian, I put together some knock-around outfits, a nightie I’ve never worn and a package of new panties. And Mitch, Ethan brought over some of your long-sleeved shirts and two pairs of jeans. They’re in a duffel I put in the hall. He thinks it’s better if you don’t go out to the ranch. So he
had your pickup brought here, too.”

  Mitch nodded. “Yeah. He told me. I agree.”

  “Then you know his brothers are helping Dave look after your horses. Oh, and Jeremy’s looking after Trooper. That dog will come back to you spoiled rotten.”

  “Thanks, Regan. Tell Ethan I’ll be in touch as planned.”

  “Is that all?”

  “One more thing. Inform Gilly that she can’t take Cara.”

  “Wouldn’t I love to.” Gillian’s voice sounded so full of longing, Mitch pursed his lips and did some yearning himself. Something seemed to shift inside him as he watched her bestow tender kisses on each of the four babies. He was dog tired, and he’d missed her a lot. He wondered what she’d say if he admitted it. Probably nothing. She seemed to have made herself right at home here.

  “Do you want to shower and shave before taking off?” Regan asked Mitch.

  He passed a hand over a stubbled jaw. “I drove all night. Since I was driving a car I didn’t own, I wanted to get it back on U.S. soil as quickly as possible.” He grimaced. “The motel I booked in Hermosillo boasted very few of the comforts of home. So, yeah, I’ll grab a shower if Gilly doesn’t mind waiting another half-hour.”

  “I don’t mind. Frankly, after a two-week delay, I’m not sure we really need to go to Sedona.”

  “Ethan thinks you should,” Regan said, casting a worried glance between them. They both nodded.

  Stars had popped out overhead before Mitch and a very subdued Gillian ultimately drove onto the freeway. She seemed melancholy, lost in private thoughts. Mitch shoved a disc in the player and leaned back, prepared to enjoy a quiet drive.

  “Is country music all you have?” she asked when the song ended and switched to another mournful tune.

  “Uh-oh. We’re in trouble if you hate country-and-western music.”

  “I don’t hate it.”

  “Good, because up to now I’ve thought we were pretty compatible.”

  Gillian turned despite the seat belt, angling to face him. “A couple of weeks ago, when we were at the station, it didn’t sound as if you thought that. When you sided with Daryl after I admitted I’d gone off the pill without telling him.”