Liquid Redemption (Liquid Regret Book 4)

by MJ Carnal

  “I love you. You know I love you. I love the friendship we have and that I’m a part of your family. Your mom and dad are like mine. Your brother, Roman, he’s like my brother. We have lunch once a month. I can’t risk any of that. Not when my feelings are so strong for someone else. You’re the most important man in my life, Enzo. That will never change. But we can’t be more. Not now. Maybe not ever.” My heart breaks. I never want to hurt him. I’m so blindsided by all of this.

  “Katrina!” Lorenzo braces his legs on the floorboard and throws his arm in front of me.

  I see the bright lights coming at us and the brakes scream as I slam my foot down. The impact throws me forward; the seatbelt tightens me like a vice grip. The sound of metal on metal echoes through my brain as the airbag deploys and slams against my chest. The snapping sound makes me gag and I hear myself howl. A white cloud of powder blinds me and I smell burnt rubber. I struggle to open my eyes as the car stops spinning.

  “Don’t move, Bella,” Lorenzo’s voice is hardly a whisper.

  I turn my head and the pain shoots through me. I cry out. Lorenzo leans against the passenger door, his airbag covered in blood.

  “Enzo,” I wail. “Enzo, are you ok?”

  “Don’t move. Help will come. Stay awake, Bella.” His voice sounds so strained.

  I feel blood spreading across my chest, its warmth both comforting and terrifying. “I hear the sirens. They’re coming.” He doesn’t answer me. “Lorenzo!”

  “Ma’am, can you hear me?” Bright lights blind me as a voice yells out to me.

  “Get him,” I scream. “Save him.”

  “We’re working on getting you both out of the car. My name is Brandon. Can you tell me your name?”

  I cry. “That’s Lorenzo DeGatti. Help him.”

  Voices are muffled from the other side of the car. I try to pay attention to what they’re saying. When Brandon removes my seatbelt, I scream. I try to fight him but the pain is too intense.

  “Holy shit, that’s Lorenzo DeGatti,” is the last thing I hear as I pass out with flashbulbs going off around me.

  Chapter 27

  My cell phone screams in my pocket. I’m instantly at ease when I see her number. Our fight was so stupid and I want to see her. I step into the house to cut down on the noise.

  “Baby.”

  “Sir, this is Brandon Walters. I’m a first responder and we just left the scene to an accident on Riverside Drive. We have two passengers in route to Good Samaritan Hospital.”

  The world spins and I grab the counter to steady myself. Joshua comes down the stairs and sees me. He’s at my side before I even have to ask. He stands inches from me with his hand on my shoulder.

  “You’re the last number called on this phone. We were hoping you could come down here. The male has been identified as Lorenzo DeGatti but we are unable to get an id on the female and a purse was not found on the scene.”

  “Identified? Are they alive?” Is that my voice? I’m not sure Brandon will even hear me. I can’t breathe.

  “Yes, sir. Both are alive and likely heading to emergency surgery. Do you have any information on next of kin for either of them?”

  “Next of kin?” My hands shake and I sit on the floor. This can’t be happening.

  “This is Joshua Seymour, who is this?” Joshua takes the phone from my hand and puts it on speaker.

  “Mr. Seymour, this Brandon Walters. We are in route to Good Sam with two passengers from a front end collision. This number was the last one called and I’m trying to get some information. I need the female’s name and I need to know how to get in touch with her family and the family of Lorenzo DeGatti. This is an emergency, sir.”

  “Her name is Katrina King. We’re her family. I don’t know how to get in touch with Lorenzo’s family. His father is Angelo Lorenzo.” Joshua pulls me from the ground and pushes me toward the driveway. “We’re on our way.”

  “Sir, it’s imperative I notify next of kin. They are both going to require emergency surgery and we’re five minutes out.”

  “I have her next of kin and we’re getting in the car. We’re ten minutes away.” Joshua opens my door and shoves me inside his car. He throws my cell phone into my lap and runs around the front of the car. “Get that seatbelt on.”

  Joshua puts the car in drive and we’re screaming out of the driveway. I try to control my breathing. He said they were alive. I fumble with my cell phone and Ray picks up in the second ring. I explain the little I know and she promises to meet us there and contact Lorenzo’s dad. I’m out of breath when I hang up.

  “You need to take some deep breaths. Panicking isn’t going to help her, or you. You need to have a clear head when we go into the hospital. They aren’t going to talk to you if you’re yelling or panicking. She’s the toughest person I’ve ever met. She’s not going to give up. You can’t either.” Joshua’s words hit my ears but I’m not able to process them.

  When he pulls up to the front of the emergency room, I don’t even wait for him to stop the car completely. I’m at a full sprint when I get to the information desk. The nurse looks up at me and I try to speak. “Katrina King. Came in by ambulance.”

  “Sir, I need you to calm down. What is the patient’s name?” How does this woman not understand it’s an emergency?

  “Katrina King. She was in a car accident.” I start to pace as she types into her computer. What the fuck is taking so long?

  “She’s being triaged now, Sir. Let me get someone to come out to speak to you.” She gets up and leaves me alone at the desk.

  The waiting room is packed with people needing help. I try to keep my head down so that no one sees who I am. The last thing we need are reporters showing up. A paramedic is at the vending machine getting a bottle of water and I run over to him. “Are you Brandon?”

  He takes a sip and nods his head. “I am.” The minute he recognizes me, I see it on his face.

  “I just talked to you on the phone. Katrina King is mine.” Am I making any sense?

  “Come with me,” he opens the door with his keycard and jogs back to the ambulance bay.

  I see Lorenzo first. His stretcher is being unloaded from the ambulance. A doctor and two nurses are yelling commands to each other. His eyes meet mine but I don’t know that he’s aware I’m there.

  “He goes first,” a doctor barks. “I’m not waiting for release forms to be signed. Get him into surgery now.”

  “She’s over here,” Brandon pulls me into the exam room right next to the bay. One nurse is starting an IV and the other is setting up a portable x-ray machine.

  “Push two milligrams morphine and prep the OR for me, please.” A doctor pushes past me and moves to the side of her bed. “Ms. King, can you hear me?”

  I hear her answer and I want to drop to my knees and thank God. Her voice is weak but it’s clear. Her eyes flutter open when I step through the door and her fingers reach for me. She’s covered in blood and bruised but she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

  “Can you tell me what happened?” The doctor doesn’t acknowledge I’m there.

  “I’m not sure. We were hit by a car.” Her voice is a whisper as the morphine begins to kick in. “Chance?”

  “I’m here, baby.” I take her hand and notice the way her shoulder is hanging.

  “Lorenzo?” A tear rolls down her cheek.

  “He’s ok. They’re taking him to surgery. I just saw him. He’s got some great doctors. He’ll be fine.”

  “Next of kin for Ms. King?” The doctor looks at me for the first time.

  “Yes, Lennon Chancellor. What’s going on?” I shake his hand.

  “Ms. King has a complex clavicle fracture. The blood is from the bone piercing through the skin. There is very little tissue that covers the collarbone and we see this after the more severe car accidents. It’s imperative we fix this immediately. I’d like to take her into surgery.”

  “Of course, yes.” I shake my head. I want him to take
her now to help her with the pain. Her face is pale and I can tell she’s suffering. “And Lorenzo?”

  “From what I understand, he put his arm across Ms. King to brace her before impact. The force of the airbag deploying caused fractures of the radius and ulna. Those are the bones in the forearm. My colleague has taken him into surgery. You’ll be able to see him once he’s out of recovery.”

  “Chance,” Katrina’s voice draws my attention. I turn to her and sit on the edge of the bed.

  “Hi, Princess. You scared me to death. You have to promise me you won’t do that again.” I push some hair off her forehead.

  “I love you,” she whispers as she falls asleep.

  “I love you, too. More than you even know.”

  Chapter 28

  I step into the hall after they take Katrina back for surgery. The relief I feel is immense and I take a deep breath. The smell of rubbing alcohol and blood fills my nose and my hands begins to shake. I see the lights from the ambulance bay and it’s my undoing. It’s like my feet are embedded in concrete and each step I take toward the waiting room is more difficult than the last. I grip at the wall as I lose my footing, my knees hitting the floor hard. I gasp for air.

  Brandon looks at me, my face completely pale, and he runs to my side. “Lennon, can you hear me?” He pulls gloves from his pocket and puts them on before reaching for me.

  I grab his arm and hold on for dear life. I can’t breathe. My heart is pounding so hard; I feel like I’m having a heart attack. My other hand clutches my chest.

  “You’re ok. Breathe for me.” He wraps the blood pressure cuff around my arm and yells to the nurse’s station. “Someone go out and get his friend from the waiting room. Dr. McKay, I’ve got someone down in the hall.”

  I’m being moved from the floor, the room darkening around me. I can hear voices but my vision is worthless. This has only happened a few times in my life. I feel Joshua’s hand on my arm as the room goes black. Sounds are muffled and I’m in a cold sweat.

  “His heartrate is elevated and his pressure is sky high. Get him hooked up to an EKG and hang fluids.” Dr. McKay works around me as the light begins to creep back into the corners of my eyes. The nurse puts an oxygen mask on me and my eyes flutter open.

  “Panic attack,” I gasp as she begins to place the mask over my face. She stops before securing it over my face.

  “If I put this on you, is it going to make it worse?” Her voice is quiet as she stares at me. I shake my head no and she secures it over my mouth. “Try to take some steady breaths for me.”

  Joshua is pale at my side. His hand is wrapped around my forearm in a death grip. “I’m here. You’re ok. Katrina and Lorenzo are fine.”

  My hands shake and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I know I’m safe. I know where I am. I try to breathe evenly to stop hyperventilating. I listen as the doctor tells the staff to draw blood and page him the minute they come back. The nurses buzz around me with efficiency and I feel like a complete idiot.

  I remove the oxygen mask with my trembling hand and look at Joshua. “Sorry.”

  He shakes his head. “It’s fine. I understand better than you know. Someday I’ll tell you the story. For now, rest a little. I’ll be here when you get up.”

  “Can you call Rach?” I yawn, the adrenaline subsiding and my body starting to crash.

  “Already on her way,” he smiles at me. “Everyone’s on the way.”

  “It’s Harley’s wedding,” I protest.

  “They were on their way the minute they heard about Katrina. She’s family now. You’re freaked out ass is just an added bonus.” He laughs at me as I put my head back down and lift my middle finger.

  I close my eyes and flatten my hands on the bed. I let the feel of the sheet ground me. The warm blanket on my legs is heavenly as I allow myself to feel it. I take a big breath, filling my lungs completely for the first time in about five minutes. My eyes are heavy and I drift between sleep and awareness.

  “Your psych consult is here,” Joshua rubs my arm and chuckles. “He scared the shit out of me.”

  “I’m sure he did. Your call scared me.” Rachel hugs Joshua and moves me my side. Her hand is soft against my forehead. “How you doing, slick?”

  I try to smile. My entire body aches. “I feel like an asshole.”

  “Seeing Katrina like that must have been very difficult,” she rubs my forehead. “Do you want to tell me about how you felt?”

  “It wasn’t that. Seeing all the blood and smelling the alcohol. It reminded me,” I stop and slam my mouth shut. “It was too much I guess.”

  “I want you to talk to me.” She sits next to me and takes my hand. “You had a severe panic attack, not just a little anxiety. This wasn’t like what happens on the bus when we travel. This was serious. It’s time to talk so I can help you.”

  “I can’t.” My eyes burn. I can’t talk about my past. It’s too difficult. I’m emotionally exhausted.

  “You can. Do you want Joshua to leave?” She pushes me and I shake my head. “What were you doing when the attack started?”

  I sigh in resignation. “I was walking out to the waiting room. They must have been cleaning out one of the rooms and I could smell the stale blood and the alcohol. It reminded me of being a little boy and I couldn’t catch my breath. I tried to get out to the waiting room but I couldn’t make it.”

  “Were you in the hospital as a child?” She has her therapist voice on. Her eyes are clear as she looks at me without judgement.

  My eyes fill with tears and I look away. My heart feels like it’s being ripped in two. I shake my head yes and give myself a minute to swallow my emotions. “I was in an accident when I was nine.”

  She rubs her hand up and down my arm. “Were you hurt?”

  “No. My parents were.” My breath shakes. I haven’t said this out loud for twenty-two years.

  “You’re doing great, Chance.” She smiles at me. “How were your parents hurt?”

  I feel the first tear hit my cheek. I close my eyes and can still feel everything from that night all those years ago. I fist the sheets in my hands. “It was Christmas Eve and we were driving home from dinner. My aunt was with us for the holidays. I had this remote control boat with me that my mom had let me open early. It was the only thing I wanted that year. She worked extra hours to make sure she could get it for me.”

  I remember my mom’s face that afternoon. Her smile lit up her whole face and the love she had for me was written all over it. I had begged to open a present early. She was so proud when I unwrapped it. I wanted to play with it in the small lake behind our house. I hugged her and asked if I could go out and play but we had to go to dinner. My father had promised that he’d take me out back when we got home and we could try it in the water. I took it with me to dinner and held it like if I let go, I’d wake up from the best dream of my life and it would be gone.

  “We went to dinner early so my dad and I could play with it before bed. I don’t even remember what we ate that night. We were coming home and it started to rain. I was complaining that we wouldn’t be able to take the boat out. I was so mad at my parents for not letting me play before dinner.”

  A sob rips from my throat and Rachel leans into me and holds me. I want it to stop. I just want to forget. Joshua puts his hand on my arm. The love they have for me is just like the love of family. It helps knowing I have the guys in my life. But, nothing can ever take the place of the two people who gave me life and loved me every second they were alive.

  “We turned the corner and a dog ran out in front of the car. My dad swerved so he wouldn’t hit it and the road was wet. He lost control and we went off the side of the road. It was a deep ravine and the car was totally out of control. We flipped and the car landed on its side against a tree. The boat came out of my hands and shattered on the dashboard. My dad was thrown out of the car and I never saw him. My aunt was covered in blood. She tried to get me unbuckled. I remember her head was bleeding so hard but
she didn’t even seem scared. My mom wasn’t moving at all. The tree was right outside her window. They said she died on impact. By the time the ambulance got there, it was so quiet. The only thing I could hear was the gurgling sound coming from my aunt’s side of the car.”

  I remember how eerie the sky looked as the sun set that night. I was stuck in my seatbelt and afraid to look anywhere but out the window. My side was facing the sky. It was so cloudy, the dust and dirt from impact finally settling. I could hear the cars on the road above, their tires wet against the pavement. The frogs and crickets were signing like nothing had happened. It got so dark while I was waiting. I knew everyone was gone. I don’t remember being scared but I do remember how cold I felt. Even after the ambulance picked me up, I was freezing. They asked me all kinds of questions but I just shivered.

  “I yelled at them. That’s the last thing they ever heard from me.” I take a deep breath in and blow it out slowly. My shirt is soaked from my tears. “I didn’t get a chance to tell them I loved them. I just whined about the rain and blamed them.”

  “I have no doubt they knew how much you loved them.” Rachel wipes her eyes. “You love so completely, even if you don’t know it. The way you love the guys is so apparent in everything you do. I’m sure you showed them love every single day they were alive.”

  “They brought me to the hospital. I had my aunt’s blood on me and the nurse used alcohol to get it out from under my fingernails. That night, the police picked me up and took me to a foster home. I never saw my parents again. There was no funeral, no family. One minute, they were here, then they just weren’t.”

  “I lost someone once. I know the heartbreak. I may not seem like the most sympathetic person but I’m right here and I always will be if you need me.” Joshua wipes his tears and I realize how healing a good cry can be.