by Kat Helgeson
That’s a lie. It doesn’t pay the bills at all. Even splitting the rent on Charlie’s old rat-trap. I would actually sell my computer for a nice apartment, except they don’t seem to have those in Northern California (and let’s be honest, of course I wouldn’t sell my computer).
I went to the beach yesterday, though, just to see what all the fuss was about. God, it’s nothing like the Lake Michigan beach! It feels stupid to say it, but the ocean is huge. (I know, I should have been a poet. My talents are wasted as a barista.) I stood there and felt like I was falling off the edge of the world. But in a good way, if that makes sense.
Tomorrow, Charlie and I
Text with Mom
got a job yet? ready to give
up and come home?
all moved in with Charlie.
start work on Monday.
Um, holy fuck.
I just read your latest fic. Are you in my brain? If so, you can stay. That was just everything I wanted from last week’s Up Below and didn’t get. Thank you, thank you, thank you, etc.
So it’s kind of super embarrassing, but I draw occasionally (by which I mean I used to draw four years ago and I’m ridiculously out of practice) and I drew this thing to go along with your fic. It’s SUPPOSED to be the part where Jake falls asleep on Tyler at the end, but it looks more like a couple of space aliens.
The self-deprecating thing isn’t as charming as I think, is it.
I saw on your journal that you’ve written a lot of other stuff. Your fans seem a little...hardcore. I guess you must be pretty good. Definitely, if this teeny opus is anything to go by. Psyched to read more, but it’s gonna have to wait because I’m in the middle of moving and getting all my shit unpacked.
Okay. This has been sufficiently creepy and weird. I’m attaching the picture. Hope you like it.
Carry on,
finnblueline
Hey finnblueline--
holy SHIT this is gorgeous. what the hell, how do you even do that shading? GOD i wish i could draw. this is...god, thank you so much. ridiculously flattering. is it cool if i put a link to this in the author’s note of the fic? do you have a journal or something i should link to? your account here looks pretty empty.
your name is seriously familiar though....did you ever write for the Pantheon fandom, or maybe just draw? i wasn’t super into Pantheon but i definitely read some stuff.
congrats on the move!
--eve
BUSTED. Yes. I used to draw for Pantheon. I was finnlines over there, added the blue because Jake and Ty are law enforcement (thin blue line) and I love Jake.
But I haven’t done anything creative for any fandom since then, and I have no idea if that’s supposed to be a brag or a confession. This shit is a drug. Every time I think I’m out, etc etc.
You can absolutely put the pic on your journal if you want. The link is here. Glad you liked it!
Congrats...I dunno, my boyfriend has sketchy taste in apartments. No, seriously, thanks.
jake is like...my love is overwhelming and all-consuming. it’s so embarrassing. my friends will be like well how about the new transfer student and i’m just all HOW ABOUT THIS BEAT UP COP ON TV. love him. even if he is an old man.
i’m moving in august and could not be more excited, so i’m jealous even of your sketchiness, probably.
anyway thanks again!! i’ll put the link up today.
--eve
Oh shit. How old are you?
eighteen. and actual eighteen, i promise, not internet-eighteen.
--eve
Okay. Okay. Sorry, didn’t mean to freak out on you. Eighteen’s fine. You said Jake was old and I was picturing you as a thirteen year old. Although you write REALLY well for thirteen...
I mean, you write really well for eighteen, too. It’s not really an age thing. You write well for a human.
I am FANTASTIC at compliments.
So when you say moving in August, I’m guessing college?
yep! got into the dreeeeeeam school. mom and dad would be so proud. okay, they probably are, but they’re proud over in the taiwanese jungle or whatever the hell so it kind of doesn’t count. in all seriousness i’m psyched. i’ve been at this same school for ten years and i love it, but the problem is that i also really hate it.
and jake’s like...what, 28? oooold. although zack’s i think 26, right? he always plays older characters. got those old-soul eyes.
so how old are you? i bet you’re 28, right?
--eve
Oh thanks very much. No. I’m 22. Just graduated from the very-much-not-dream school, now working the very-much-not-dream job. I miss college and you will love it.
OH MY GOD Zack’s eyes. You’re probably too young for this, but I’ve had a crush on him ever since he was a little kid on Man of the House. It’s hard to even believe it’s still him sometimes, but DAMN that boy grew up good.
ha, yeah, i was pretty little when man of the house was on.
college is really all it’s cracked up to be? i’m like afraid to believe it. you wouldn’t know from my ridiculous procrastination-project that is my fanfic journal, but i’ve worked my aassss off these past four years. and kind of the past eight because i go to one of those preparatory boarding schools where if you don’t get into an ivy you’re ritually sacrificed.
--eve
You’re one of those ivy achievers? God. Okay. Well I can only speak for normal person colleges, but yeah, it’s great. It’s like...remember in season two when Jake was stranded in Costa Rica (GOD survival skills-Jake though...) and Tyler couldn’t get there because he was on a no-fly list, so he had to hack into the whatever and erase his record?
Well, college is like that. Whatever you’ve spent the last eight years thinking you can’t do because of who you are and who you’ve always been, it doesn’t apply anymore. You’re just this blank nobody-person that you get to invent.
My advice you didn’t ask for is do EVERYTHING. Try everything that’s offered to you until you find the thing you love. And also, keep writing fic, because my god I just read Mad World and you are blowing my mind.
aw yeah?? mad world is one of my favorites actually, if i’m allowed to say that about my own stuff...i mean let’s be honest the season two finale wrote it for me. where are those I-would-walk-to-the-end-of-the-earth-for-your-damn-self moments in season 3, aaaah i’m dying.
do everything. got it. i’m probably going to be double majoring but it would be nice to find time to get into...something. right now all i get into are tyler girl vs. jake girl battles and lacrosse players’ beds. lol overshare.
--eve
The fuck is lacrosse?
Oh my god do you know Tylergirl93? I link to her stuff on my journal sometimes just to get the exposure. She drives me CRAZY. I think she honestly thinks the show would be better if Jake wasn’t on it at all. What is she watching??
With a sort of startling lack of humility, I’m now working on Mad World art. Please tell me to stop if this is annoying.
oh my god OPPOSITE of annoying. are you going to finish it tonight?? i gotta sign off here in a sec to try to deal with this ridiculous series of emails i’m getting from the aforementioned lacrosse player, but i’ll check in first thing tomorrow?
and GOOD LORD DO I KNOW HER. do. i. know her. i have HORROR STORIES, girl. (girl, right? the only finn i know is a guy, but are there even any guys in fandom? what’s with that, anyway?)
--eve
Girl. It’s short for Stephanie.
I’ll have it finished for you in the morning. Tell me your horror stories, it’s only fair.
Good luck with Monsieur LaCrosse!
ugh, thank you, i need it.
night!!
---eve
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 12:12 AM
subject: BACK OFF
okay, seriously, you’re emailing me now? are we having a “how many methods of harassment is enough” contest?
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 12:52 AM
subject: RE: BACK OFF
yeah, if you hate it so much why do you answer
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 12:55 AM
subject: RE: BACK OFF
i got sick of my phone yelling like something important is going on. stop emailing me.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 12:56 AM
subject: kiss & make up?
come over.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 12:59 AM
subject: RE: kiss & make up?
cut it out.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:05 AM
subject: RE: kiss & make up?
i’m serious, okay? to talk. Just to talk. If you try to take your clothes off I’ll shield my eyes.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:06 AM
subject: RE: kiss & make up?
you’re drunk.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:08 AM
subject: RE: kiss & make up?
No, Gena, I’m not.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:14 AM
subject: OOOOOH
capital letters. serious business.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:16 AM
subject: RE: OOOOOH
Come over and we’ll talk.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:19 AM
subject: RE: OOOOOH
that’s what you always say, and then it’s 5 in the morning and i’m sneaking back into my dorm and my shirt’s on inside out and my mouth tastes like shame and secondhand vodka
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:23 AM
subject: RE: OOOOOH
Sounds like your poetry.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:24 AM
subject: RE: OOOOOH
fuck off, it does not.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:25 AM
subject: oh calm down
Meant that as a compliment, relax. I still have the poem you wrote me.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:26 AM
subject: RE: oh calm down
I didn’t write it for you. I wrote it and gave it to you.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:27 AM
subject: RE: oh calm down
Capital letters. Serious business.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:28 AM
subject: RE: oh calm down
What the fuck do you want, john?
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:36 AM
subject: RE: oh calm down
I want you to write me another poem.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:38 AM
subject: ode to john
john john
please go away
do not stay
another day
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:40 AM
subject: RE: ode to john
no capitals.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:41 AM
subject: RE: ode to john
cummings.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 1:43 AM
subject: RE: ode to john
what?
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 1:44 AM
subject: RE: ode to john
does not mean what you want it to mean.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 2:14 AM
subject: seriously gen
just come over.
talk to me. i’ve been thinking this over, okay? i made a huge fucking mistake.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 2:20 AM
subject: RE: seriously gen
yeah, you’ve mentioned.
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 2:28 AM
subject: RE: seriously gen
I still love you.
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 2:31 AM
subject: RE: seriously gen
okay
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 2:31 AM
subject: RE: seriously gen
do you still love me?
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 2:42 AM
subject: RE: seriously gen
i guess
from: John Clifford
to: Genevieve Goldman
date: Saturday, January 24 2:45 AM
subject: RE: seriously gen
are you still mad?
from: Genevieve Goldman
to: John Clifford
date: Saturday, January 24 2:47 AM
subject: RE: seriously gen
not really
