Book Read Free

Gena/Finn

Page 10

by Kat Helgeson


  Tell me I was an idiot for trying to bring up my fanfic journal on someone else's phone.

  Tell me I was an idiot for ever leaving my pretentious goddamn hideous easy safe Stoneyhall bubble.

  Come get me and bring me to Thailand or Uzbekistan or wherever the hell you are nowadays.

  -bug

  Text with John C.

  +1 260-555-7175: im gonna

  quit school and be an actress

  August 15, 11:47 PM

  what?

  I think you have the

  wrong number

  August 15, 11:53 PM

  oh god. genevieve?

  from: Genevieve Goldman

  to: Finn Bartlett

  date: Thursday, August 21 5:51 PM

  subject: AHHHHH

  OH DEAR LORD SWEET INTERNET.

  i have all these scheduling emails from producers to answer jesus christ but I will read your email and answer in JUST A SEC <3333

  from: Zack Martocchio

  to: Genevieve Goldman

  date: Monday, August 18 3:16 PM

  subject: :D

  Hey Gena.

  I told Jack and Janet you were getting settled in to school so you probably didn’t have internet right away but you were still planning to do the show and yes you’ll be able to take a few days off in October to come film and blah blah blah. You’re welcome ;)

  Hopefully if you’re reading this though it means you’re a step towards actually being settled in? Hope things are going well. Get in touch when you have the chance. Do you have my number?

  -Z

  from: Genevieve Goldman

  to: Zack Martocchio

  date: Thursday, August 21 6:03 PM

  subject: RE: :D

  hey zack.

  thanks so much for taking care of the grunt work. i know you’re hella (as you would say--seriously, you’re STILL saying that?) busy. i’ll send out the proper emails now.

  stuff’s going really

  no, fuck it, stuff’s actually going really badly. i haven’t been able to talk to my best friend in about a week and i’m going crazy from it and...i’m scared that going crazy might actually mean going crazy. and you’re the only person i even kind of...can i still say i know you? who knows what that really means.

  and i can tell from the way you played crazy-jake last season that you remember.

  i don’t have a phone right now so just answer this if you want to talk? or don’t if i’m being too weird and we’ll do a nice friendly hug when i come to set and that’ll be it.

  gena

  from: Genevieve Goldman

  to: Finn Bartlett

  date: Thursday, August 21 6:32 PM

  subject: RE: Charlie issues

  holy shit i just read your email. fuck fuck fuck i am SUCH a fuck up. are you online? chatting you right now.

  --g

  Genevieve: Finn???

  Finn: Oh my god.

  Genevieve: oh my god shit hi

  were you getting my texts did i have your number right

  eli said you tried to call

  Finn: Yeah, I felt stupid

  Genevieve: for what??

  Finn: I don’t know. I shouldn’t have called his phone. tell him I’m sorry

  Genevieve: he’s a douchebag

  not gonna be telling him anything

  Finn: uh oh, what’d he do?

  Genevieve: it’s stupid, doesn’t matter

  are you okay?

  Finn: not really

  Genevieve: tell me

  Finn: everything’s going to hell. Charlie’s barely talking to me

  Genevieve: fuck.

  this is all my fault.

  Finn: it’s really not

  Genevieve: how is it possibly not

  Finn: because you’re not the one who’s been stringing him along about wanting to get married

  we got into it because of the job thing, but that was just...the catalyst, you know?

  if everything else had been fine that wouldn’t have mattered

  Genevieve: he thinks there’s something between us, doesn’t he

  Finn: he didn’t say that

  exactly

  Genevieve: fuck

  Finn: you didn’t do anything wrong

  Genevieve: i mean, is there something between us?

  there’s...not not something between us.

  Shit.

  Finn: should there not be anything?

  I’m allowed to fucking do...whatever this is

  Genevieve: are you sure though

  what if you’re not

  Finn: it’s not like I’m married.

  Genevieve: if it would be different if you were then... maybe that means something

  Finn: oh.

  Genevieve: i mean to him

  Finn: yeah

  Genevieve: shit.

  Finn: this is bullshit, I’m allowed to have a fucking friend

  Genevieve: i do this, don’t i. i think this is a thing that i do.

  Finn: what?

  Genevieve: talk people into loving me

  four years of debate team and this is how i use it.

  Sent at 7:12 PM on Thursday

  Finn: I’m...pretty fucking stubborn, kid

  Genevieve: you’re literally all i have

  how is he not supposed to feel threatened by that

  Finn: wait, what’s going on?

  Genevieve: what?

  Finn: what about, um....joanie?

  Genevieve: joanne?

  Finn: yeah, that one

  Genevieve: no

  just no, really.

  guess what her major is

  Sent at 7:15 PM on Tuesday

  Finn: ummm...i have no idea. Pre-med?

  Genevieve: theater

  wish i’d known that before i started my acting class

  Finn: yeah how’s that going?

  Genevieve: fine

  Finn: good!

  Genevieve: got an A- on my monologue

  Finn: no surprise there

  Genevieve: ha. yeah.

  how’s the job?

  Finn: the job is actually great

  Genevieve: good!

  Finn: I have a savings account!

  Genevieve: haha awesome

  Sent at 7:20 PM on Thursday

  Finn: listen, don’t worry about Charlie, okay?

  Genevieve: are you guys gonna break up?

  Finn: I don’t know

  I don’t want to

  Genevieve: if you do you can come live with me in my awful dorm

  Finn: I bet oakmoor has totally swanky dorms

  Genevieve: one building does. they have sinks in the rooms

  Finn: nice!

  Genevieve: ha, not my building

  Sent at 7:26 PM on Thursday

  Finn: is your roommate cool?

  Genevieve: that’s joanne

  Finn: ohhh.

  Genevieve: yep.

  Finn: you’ll meet some people. took me a couple weeks.

  Genevieve: her friends are always over

  Finn: oh

  Genevieve: they’re all legacies

  she’s double major theater pre-law

  they’re all pre-somethings

  they have arguments ove
r who had the most reading this week

  Finn: is that supposed to be a good thing?

  Genevieve: whoever’s the most miserable wins

  Finn: fuck, my friends and I used to argue over who blew off the most reading

  Genevieve: i’ve been working five hours a night since monday and it’s the first week

  and they have so much more work than i do and they’re always here laughing and being loud and complaining and laughing while they complain

  this is such stupid shit to whine about, i’m sorry.

  this just isn’t how i pictured it.

  Finn: it’s gonna get better

  it’s culture shock. it’ll settle down

  in a couple of weeks this is all gonna feel normal

  Genevieve: okay

  Finn: love you

  Genevieve: love you

  i should write another fic or something

  all i’m doing is poetry

  Sent at 7:33 PM on Thursday

  Genevieve: now that i have internet things will be better

  they all think i’m a weird loner anyway

  Finn: yeah, but my weird loner

  Genevieve: finn/

  ?

  Finn: yeah?

  Genevieve: are we doing something bad?

  Sent at 7:36 PM on Thursday

  Finn: no

  Genevieve: okay

  Finn: we’re amazing

  Genevieve: you make me happy

  why does that have to be so fucked up.

  Finn: other people don’t get it, that’s all

  Genevieve: do you want me to talk to charlie?

  Sent at 7:39 PM on Thursday

  Finn: that’s probably not the best idea

  Genevieve: yeah

  ugh okay i’ve got to go

  i told this girl on my hall i’d go to the diner with her

  Finn: good

  Genevieve: meaning i begged her and she said okay

  Finn: well, that’s a start

  Genevieve: yeah

  start of what is the question

  Finn: hang in there, okay?

  Genevieve: i will. now that i have internet i can get this phone thing sorted out

  i’ll let you know as soon as i have service again. but i’ll try to get online tonight

  Finn: do

  Genevieve: internet’s really slow sometimes. perhaps there are more creepy weirdos in this dorm than just me

  Finn: now all you have to do is find them!

  ...but don’t forget me.

  Genevieve: as if

  Finn: go eat. love you

  Genevieve: love you.

  Happy Labor Day, or something.

  The good news is, this means it’s September. The bad news is that our show doesn’t come back until October, and this is the longest, most painful hiatus I’ve ever been through.

  I’m getting philosophical, you guys. Or maybe brooding. I don’t know what you’d call it.

  I’m thinking a lot about Nicola, of all things.

  I remember, my first time through season one, before I’d gotten involved in fandom at ALL, disliking her. And it was kind of validating to find out later that other people felt the same way and didn’t want Tyler to end up with her. Some of you were downright offended by the possibility, I think, and even though that wasn’t me, I kind of get it. There was something...disconcerting about that relationship.

  But looking back now...why’d we all hate her so much? She wasn’t a bad person. I think if I’d met her in real life, I’d have liked her okay. She was smart and dedicated and good to Ty. The time she grilled steaks on his birthday? That was actually really nice! Why’d we all get so mad about that?

  I mean, I know why. It was because Ty had to miss his birthday tradition with Jake, and that was awful, and it was the first time in six years they hadn’t spent their birthdays together. But Nicola wasn’t a bitch for wanting to make her boyfriend dinner.

  Maybe she was right in the season 1 finale.

  Maybe he’s too close to Jake, and it doesn’t leave room for anyone else.

  No fic recs today.

  >>>>mmmZack reblogged this from finnblueline

  >>>>Tylergirl93 reblogged this and added: Don’t be a Nicola apologist. This misses the point entirely. She WAS a bitch for trying to change him.

  >>>>finnblueline: She wasn’t trying to change him. She was trying to be a part of his life.

  >>>>Tylergirl93: That IS changing him. His life is his work and Jake.

  >>>>DanniRice reblogged this and added: No fic recs? ?

  >>>>finnblueline: sorry.

  Text with Charlie

  where are you?

  work

  early shift?

  picked up a double

  oh

  okay.

  from: Finn Bartlett

  to: Charlie Thomas

  date: None. Saved to Drafts.

  subject: This sucks

  I know you’re pissed. Can we talk?

  We can’t keep avoiding each other. It’s starting to freak me out, being here alone with no one else I know and you drifting around like we’re strangers.

  I was going to tell you about the job. It’s just been so much lately. Everything’s changing, and it’s really overwhelming, and...I thought you’d be proud of me, though. I thought the fact that I finally got a real job would matter more than...

  And you put too much pressure on me. I’m twenty-two, Charlie. Is it so hard to believe that I’m not ready to talk about marriage yet? That maybe that’s nothing personal?

  The shit you said about Eve last night was way out of line and uncalled for. She’s a good person, and she’s allowed to get along well with people. If you have a problem with our friendship, your problem’s with me, not with her. And anyway, I’m allowed to

  Text with Charlie

  staying at nick’s tonight,

  I’ll see you tomorrow

  Sept 7, 5:57 pm

  okay have fun

  from: Finn Bartlett

  to: Charlie Thomas

  date: None. Saved to Drafts.

  subject: You suck

  You’re an asshole. Fuck off until you’re ready to grow up.

  from: Finn Bartlett

  to: Joan Bartlett

  date: None. Saved to Drafts.

  subject: Relationships

  Things aren’t going so well here. I’m starting to think I made a huge mistake. Maybe you were right. Maybe I should never have come.

  How did you know when you wanted to marry Dad? Did you ever feel like you guys weren’t as close as you should be, or maybe you

  were closer to someone else? And would he have been okay with that? These are the things they should be teaching in college. I have no idea what I’m supposed to be feeling. I can’t even figure out how to sort the people in my life into categories that make sense. I feel like...shouldn’t I be allowed to just love people? Why does it have to be so complicated?

  I can’t believe I’m saying this. I’m never going to live this down.

  I think I want to come home.

  from: Finn Bartlett

  to: Joan Bartlett

  date: Sunday, September 7 9:40 PM

  subject: Hey

  Hey

  Just checking in. How’s ever
ything at home?

  Work is great. Charlie and I are great. California is great.

  Love you!

  Finn

  Interdepartmental Memo

  Windsor Publishing

  To All Employees:

  Please remember that personal email is not to be checked on company time. Doing so may result in disciplinary action.

  DISCIPLINARY WRITE-UP

  Employee Name: Stephanie Bartlett

  Manager: Jean Parker

  Infraction: Using company computers for personal communication; tardiness on two occasions; negative attitude

  Employee was receptive to criticism and showed understanding of inappropriate actions taken. This constitutes the first written warning for Ms. Bartlett.

  Text with Charlie (deleted)

  I got written up at work

  Text with Evie

  you there?

  uh huh good timing just got

  phone back. 8 billion texts

  to read

  I just got written up at work for

  checking my email and...being

  sad on the job.

  fascists

  they let you text?

  hiding in the bathroom...

  you okay?

  been better.

  Sept 9, 2:12 pm

  Charlie hasn’t been home in

  two days.

  Sept 9, 2:15 pm

  fuck

  I need to get out of here.

  Old Texts, Received at Once, Following the Reinstatement of Cell Phone Service

  Text with Finn

  Evie where are you

  please don’t be upset

  Aug 11, 6:15 PM

 

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