Game of Scones

by Mary Lee Ashford

He crossed the room and stood silently for a few minutes, his hand on the doorknob. “I am dead serious about this, so listen carefully.” He paused. “This is not murder mystery dinner theater. This is real and you have put yourselves in real danger. No more. Got it?”

  Neither Dixie nor I answered.

  You’ll be happy to hear that we exited with our dignity intact. Though from the looks of the faces of the deputies in the front when we walked out, I think they were impressed we’d survived the dressing down.

  Once back at the shop, I sank into my desk chair in relief. I felt so much better knowing the sheriff knew everything we knew.

  Well, except that part about the rat poison.

  I offered to get lunch for us so Dixie could get back to the test recipes.

  There was a new waitress working at the Red Hen. She must have had some experience because she moved easily from table to table. I didn’t recognize her, but I knew so few people. Dixie might know her. The girl wore her collar up, which nearly concealed a tattoo on the side of her neck. It was good to see that Toy had finally found someone interested in the job.

  I had called in our order earlier, so I checked in at the register. I have to admit I was a little disappointed that it was ready. I’d been looking forward to sitting down at one of the tables to wait and seeing what other tidbits I could find in the newspapers under the glass.

  As I walked back to the office, I looked around the square in admiration. So many small towns were struggling, and yet St. Ignatius managed to stay vibrant. I guess it was because it had changed with the times. The era where everyone in town shopped at places around the square was long gone. Probably many in town bought a lot of things online. But the storefronts had changed and now carried things you couldn’t necessarily buy online.

  “I’m back,” I called as I opened the front door.

  “Good because I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.” Dixie came out from the back wiping her hands on a towel. “I never thought I could get tired of cooking, but this project may get me there.”

  “Usually you have breaks in the cooking, don’t you?” I asked. “When you do your State Fair entries, I suppose you don’t. But otherwise you do, right?”

  “That’s true.” She reached for one of the bags I carried. “I may take a break once this book is done and not cook for a couple of weeks.”

  “I bet not.”

  “You’re probably right.” She reached in pulled out a handful of French fries. “They were really fast. I didn’t expect you back so quickly.”

  “Toy has a new waitress so Marge was back working in the kitchen. I’m sure that helped,” I answered.

  “The new girl anyone we know?”

  “Not that I know.” I laughed. “You probably do,”

  “What’s she look like?”

  “You know I’m not good at ages, but she’s younger.” I chomped on a fry. “Thin, long hair, pulled back. I’m not helping you any am I?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Oh, I know.” I suddenly remembered the one distinctive trait I’d notice. “She has a tattoo on her neck here.” I pointed at the side of my neck. “I’m not sure what it is, maybe a dragon.”

  “Doesn’t ring a bell.” Dixie shrugged.

  We finished up our lunches and then went our separate ways and got to work.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Dixie had cooked up a batch of red velvet cupcakes, one of the cookbook entries, and I decided to take some of them to The Good Life for Greer. She would get a kick out of having something she could share with her friends. And I needed to explain that I’d somehow misplaced the strawberry cruet.

  The day was overcast and so I wasn’t surprised not to find Greer outside. I rang her doorbell and heard a yell from inside, “Come in.”

  She was settled into her recliner, feet up, a book in hand. She picked up a crimson ribbon and marked her place before laying the book aside.

  “A good book?” I asked.

  “Murder Is Easy.” She held up the book.

  “An Agatha Christie book?” I asked. “That’s kind of tame for you, isn’t it?

  “Maybe.” Greer smiled. “But I watched this on television last night and it didn’t seem like the book at all. At least not how I remembered it. So, I had to dig it out and see if that was really the case or if I was losing it.”

  “I’m sure you’re not losing it.” I sat down on the couch. “But I might be.”

  “You?”

  “I have to confess something crazy.”

  I described the scenario. I’d gone to the attic and couldn’t find the cruets, the lights had gone out. When they came on I was startled by the clown face and dropped it. It hadn’t broken but when I set it back on the shelf I found the box with the cruets. I remembered taking them downstairs and washing them, but now they were missing.

  “And, Greer, I would swear that after I washed them I put them right by the door. You know that little table that fits perfectly in the alcove.”

  “Honey, don’t you worry about it at all.” Greer clasped my hands. “It’s not a big deal. Those things are just trinkets.”

  “Here’s the thing though. I can’t find them. I looked around to see if I’d simply thought I’d put them there. They are nowhere to be found.”

  “Well, that is odd.” Greer closed her book.

  “I even went back up to the attic and looked around. Nothing.”

  “A mystery.” She smiled.

  “I’m going to look again, but I wanted you to know and I wanted to drop off the cupcakes.” I felt like I’d let her down.

  “They look tasty.” She touched a finger to the frosting of one.

  “When is your book club? Maybe you can share them with the group.”

  “It’s tomorrow and they’d be the right amount.”

  “Good. They’re delicious, as is everything Dixie bakes, so I was hoping someone would be able to enjoy them.”

  “We will definitely do that.”

  “Okay, I won’t keep you. I’m going to go home and try to figure out what I did with your cruets.”

  “Please don’t worry about it, my dear.” She waved a hand. “Before you go, I wanted to mention to you. You’d asked if there’d been any rumors about Kenny Farmer having an affair and Bunny says the rumor is that he’d been seen with Tina Martin, the real estate woman.”

  “I’m sure he was seen with her.” I nodded. “When I was at the offices earlier today, Minnie, his assistant, said Tina had been showing him houses.”

  “Sugar, honey.” Greer looked over her glasses at me. “I think Tina was showing him more than houses.”

  “Oh.” I gave Greer a kiss on the cheek and promised to let her know if I found the missing cruets. In the meantime, she thought maybe I should bring the clown mask so she could take a look at it. She wasn’t sure she remembered having a clown mask.

  Who was I to judge? I couldn’t remember what I’d done with those strawberry cruets.

  I thought about the possibility of Tina as Kenny’s affair as I walked to my car. But it couldn’t have been her at the church. I’d seen her earlier when she sang, and I’d have remembered that dress with the cherries on it.

  Wait. When she sang, she’d had on a choir robe. It could have been her.

  I needed to call Dixie as soon as I got home.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I cannot believe you talked me into this.” Dixie picked up her purse and followed me out to the Jeep. “I had avoided getting caught in Tina Martin’s pretty web all this time and now you lead me right into it.”

  “I am not going alone to face that group,” I said. “Besides who knows what gossip we’ll pick up with this crowd.”

  “Can’t you think up a different way to torture me?” Dixie frowned.

  “Just an hour,” I promised. “That�
��s all we have to stay and then I swear we’ll go.”

  We arrived at Tina’s modern two-story in the newer part of town in no time. I think Dixie was wishing for a longer trip. There was a festive wreath on the door with a mirror in the middle. A bright red ribbon proclaimed, “You’re Looking Pretty today!”

  We could hear a cackle of voices from inside. It sounded like the party was in full swing.

  “Just an hour,” I reminded Dixie as I pushed the doorbell. “And it’s for a good cause.”

  Tina answered the door and shrieked her hello. “I am so excited you’re here!”

  Maybe she’d had a few too many of her special energy drink. She grabbed our hands and pulled us into the fray.

  I spotted most of the Founders’ Day Cookbook committee members. Harriet, Dot, Toy, who had her new waitress with her. Even Minnie, who I could swear I’d never seen with a stitch of makeup. They’d all probably been guilted into accepting Tina’s invitation just like we had.

  “Why don’t you girls help yourself to some food and drink, and then you can take a look at the display table?” She pointed toward a table stacked with cosmetic products. “The eye shadow I’m wearing this evening is Aegean Isle, one of our new colors.”

  Up close it appeared that she’d applied everything on the display table to her face.

  I swear I have never seen that much makeup on a woman. (Okay, once. But that was a drag queen, so not technically a woman.)

  “I’ve got to run upstairs for more order forms.” Her face was flushed with the excitement of, I could only assume, fresh victims and big orders. “You help yourself to some snacks.”

  The snacks were the kind you pour out of a bag and dipped out of a plastic container.

  “Seriously?” Dixie rolled her eyes. “She couldn’t stir a few ingredients together?”

  I glanced around, hoping no one was close enough to hear.

  “Shh.” I held a finger to my lips. “We don’t want to get thrown out before we have a chance to look around.” I picked up a few chips and a ladled half a spoonful of dip onto a pink cocktail plate. Okay, so tasting all those great homemade recipes Dixie’d made had turned me into a bit of food snob too.

  “Fine, I’ll be good.” She picked up a celery stick. “What’s the strategy?”

  “You see if you can locate Tina and once I know you have her busy, I’ll see if I can find any evidence of an affair,” I suggested. “Maybe even The Dress.”

  “Good idea,” she whispered. “I don’t see her right now but—”

  “There you are!” Tina had come up behind us. “I see you have snacks. I’m sure you could have done better. You two with your fancy recipes and all.”

  So maybe she had heard Dixie’s earlier comments. I frowned at my business partner. If I hadn’t felt so bad about being caught disparaging our hostess’s food, I might have been more on guard. As it was, I wasn’t on my toes and found myself being led to the cosmetics table along with Dixie.

  “Everyone.” Tina clapped her hands. “I want to show you some techniques that anyone can use.” She made sure her smile hit each person in the room.

  “Let’s start with Dixie Spicer and her awesomely gorgeous red hair and pale complexion.” Tina brandished a large makeup brush. “Dixie here has volunteered to be my model for the evening.”

  I was certain Dixie had not volunteered. Maybe it was payback for her comments about the lame snacks.

  “Just take a seat here.” Tina had pulled up a stool.

  “But—” Dixie looked at me.

  I shooed her toward the stool. It would be the perfect way to make sure Tina was busy while I looked around.

  “First off, you want a porcelain but not pale look, and to get that you need the complexion primer.” She opened a jar and slathered Dixie’s face with a substance. “If you want to hide freckles or other imperfections, you can use the Looking Pretty Super Gone concealer.”

  I didn’t think Dixie saw her freckles as imperfections. I sure didn’t, but I gave her a hard look. Hoping I’d telegraphed that she should stay in place.

  Tina moved quickly from product to product. In a matter of minutes Dixie wore some of everything from the table on her face.

  “Now doesn’t she look wonderful?” Tina asked the group who continued to munch crackers and celery, their attention on Dixie’s transformation. “Doesn’t she look ready for a date?”

  I glanced around at the assembly. Dixie looked ready to choke Tina.

  “Let me get a picture of this.” The hostess held up her phone. Dixie clapped a hand on Tina’s arm and lowered it.

  “First, can you show me how you did this?” Dixie pointed to her face. Her sarcasm was lost on Tina and truly on the rest of the room as well.

  “Of course,” Tina answered. “I went a little fast and it can be a bit confusing. Let me show you the step by step.”

  Once Dixie had Tina busy answering questions, she motioned to me and I immediately headed upstairs to the second level. I peeked in the first open door. Bathroom. I slipped in and back out. Nothing there. Then I hurried to the next closed door. Linen closet. I tip-toed farther down the hall and stuck my head inside a bedroom. This had possibilities. Gauzy curtains, a bright flowery wallpaper, and pillows everywhere. I didn’t want to flip on a light because my excuse, if discovered, was going to be that I was looking for the bathroom.

  I crossed the room and quietly slid open the door to the closet. I listened. Still snippets of conversation from downstairs drifted in, but no one coming. I pushed aside a few items, sliding the hangers across the rod and noting the groupings by length and then by colors. Though Tina was a clothes horse, I had to give it to her she was an organized one.

  Then I spotted it. The white dress with bright red cherries on it.

  It had been Tina that day at the church. The picture of Kenny with a woman in his arms flashed back into my brain. What nerve. And at his wife’s funeral no less. I thought of him shoveling food in his mouth and talking about her the day we’d taken food to his house. I could almost smell his cologne.

  Wait a minute. I could actually smell his cologne. I lifted the dress to my nose and sniffed. That embrace had been so tight, it was likely the scent had transferred. Heck it was so tight, they’d probably transferred DNA.

  My mind raced. Now that we’d confirmed that there was something going on between them, how did we convince Sheriff Griffin that he needed to concentrate his investigation on Kenny? I could hear the sheriff in my head. Just because they were having an affair didn’t mean Kenny had killed Elsie. But if you put it with the denied divorce, the life insurance, the disposal of her prized possessions…Well, it was just fishy. Probably not enough for the sheriff or the DCI, but hopefully enough to get him investigating.

  I closed the closet and turned to leave. The bed was unmade and there were pillows scattered around that were the same pattern as the wallpaper. The light from the open doorway landed on the white nightstand. There was a half-empty drink container of Tina’s special energy drink and a bowl of apples. She was devoted to her healthy lifestyle.

  Tina should not have been messing around with a married man. At some level I felt bad she was involved with a guy who was such a creep and most likely a murderer. Maybe when Kenny went to prison she’d find someone else.

  I peeked out and still didn’t see anyone. I could hear the chatter of voices from downstairs so hopefully I was home free. Stepping into the hallway, I had started to pull the door closed when I spotted something on the floor. Good grief, had I dropped something from the closet?

  Leaning into the room, I quickly flipped the light on.

  I clapped a hand over my mouth. Kenny Farmer was not going to be going to prison. He was on the floor tangled in Tina’s bright flowered bedspread, face up, his sightless eyes wide open.

  I flipped the light off and raced down the hallway
. Peeking over the bannister, it didn’t appear anyone was looking my way. I raced down the stairs, spotted Dixie who was talking with Dot Carson.

  I grabbed Dixie’s hand and tugged her into a corner. I couldn’t speak.

  “Did you find the dress?”

  I nodded.

  “Good. Can we go now?”

  I shook my head and finally found my voice. “I also found Kenny Farmer.”

  “His stuff?”

  “No, him. The real him.” I gulped. “And I think he’s dead.”

  “What?” Dixie’s raised voice attracted the attention of a few ladies clustered around the makeup table.

  “Shhh.” I pulled her a bit farther away. “I’m not sure what to do.”

  “Did you check to make sure he wasn’t just asleep?”

  “He wasn’t asleep.” I tugged her toward the front door. “Listen, we need to call a doctor or 9-1-1 or the sheriff or somebody.” I knew I was babbling but couldn’t seem to pull my thoughts together. I also knew a doctor was not going to help Kenny.

  “Maybe we should go upstairs and check and make sure before we—” She was interrupted by an earsplitting scream.

  I looked around. Tina had disappeared. My money was on that she’d gone back upstairs. Maybe for more order forms again and discovered Kenny.

  I started toward the stairs with Dixie on my heels. Tina appeared at the top.

  “Call 9-1-1,” she gasped. “Oh, Lord. Call an ambulance.” Her cell phone was clasped in her hand so she must have thought to make a call herself, but at that moment seemed incapable of doing so.

  Dixie pulled her own cell from her pants pocket and dialed. I could hear her explaining that we had an emergency, and she didn’t know what kind. I’d already reached the top of the stairs, and I put my hand on Tina’s arm. She collapsed in my arms and wailed.

  Dixie was now beside us and I tried to keep from dropping Tina on the floor. Dixie gave me a questioning look. I pointed down the hallway to the door that now stood open.

  Dixie shook her head.

  I pointed again.

  “Tina, let’s have you sit down somewhere.” I maneuvered her into the bathroom, sat her on the edge of the tub, and opened a cupboard. Taking a wash cloth and dampening it with cold water, I offered it to her. Her mascara and Aegean Isle eye shadow had melted into a river of tears that slid down her cheeks.