A Modern Love Story

by Jolyn Palliata

  “My pleasure.”

  She’d rather walk across burning coals than ask what she meant to, but on the other hand, it was too important to leave up to chance. She tipped her head back and spoke at the ceiling. “I’ve never kissed a guy before.”

  At that moment, given how flushed she felt, hot coals would have been a soothing alternative. The silence was unbearable. Without looking at him, she stood to leave.

  His hand clamped on to her wrist like an iron vice. “Hold up, Squirt. You got me curious now.” She sat slowly, staring at her hands as he let her go. “Where you going with this?”

  “Scott’s probably kissed other girls before.”

  “Probably.”

  “I don’t want to mess it up.”

  “And where do I come in?”

  “You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?” She glanced at his darkly amused eyes, his smirk.

  “You bet your ass I am.”

  “Forget it.” She tried to stand, but this time he clamped down on both wrists.

  “Okay, okay. So, what’re you thinking?”

  “That you’ve kissed girls before.”

  “You’d be right about that.” When she didn’t respond, he continued. “And you want me to tell you how it’s done?”

  “I don’t want…” She bit her lip. Oh, God.

  “You don’t want me to give you pointers?”

  “No. I do, but…”

  “Shit, Rob. Just spit it out.”

  “I-want-you-to-show-me-how.” Her eyes got big as she slapped a hand over her mouth. “Forget it,” she mumbled behind her fingers. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

  “Jesus. Make up your mind. Do you want me to fucking help you, or not?”

  She nodded.

  “Then shut the hell up and let me think this through a sec.” Robbie stared at him, and he stared right back. “Okay, we start simple.” He rubbed his palms on his thighs as he leaned in, eyes locked on hers. “Now you’ll wanna tip your head to the side. No, not so much. Just so you don’t bang into my nose.” He pushed close, glanced to her lips. “I feel like you’re fucking getting ready to swallow me. Shut your mouth.”

  Robbie did as instructed and he came closer, then closer. Her eyes fluttered closed when his firm lips met hers—once, twice. And just when she anticipated the third, she sensed him pulling away.

  “That’s it? Luc—”

  “Shit, Rob. Chill the fuck out. Just keeping it simple. Baby steps and all. Do you want me to do this or not?”

  “Sorry.”

  “‘S’all right.” He leaned back, running his fingers through his hair. “Okay, okay. Here we go. Now, let me show you. Just follow my lead.”

  “Got it.”

  “Don’t watch me.”

  Robbie closed her eyes, and when she smelled his Juicy Fruit and felt his warm breath against her lips, she tensed.

  “Relax, Robbie,” he murmured, putting his steady hands on her shoulders. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

  His mouth brushed against hers, softly, then firmer with more conviction. When she felt his lips part, she did the same. When she felt the testing slide of his tongue, she matched the movement. They sank into the kiss, little by little, and Robbie forgot to pay attention to what she was doing and simply went with instinct. And when she did, she found it was as natural an act as breathing.

  Luc’s fingers snaked up her neck, over her jaw, and then dived into her hair, knotting and anchoring there. Holding her firm, he changed the angle, took the kiss deeper. Robbie fought the urge to whimper as she battled to keep up, as if their mouths were at war and there could only be one victor. She wanted to touch him, grab him, pull him closer, but her muscles disintegrated and her arms wouldn’t cooperate. And then he loosed his hold, slowed the kiss, and pulled back.

  Her lips felt battered, swollen, and when she spoke, her voice was barely there. “You win.”

  He chuckled and sat back. “Damn, Squirt.” Shaking his head, he pushed to his feet. “Don’t worry about a thing. Scott definitely won’t be disappointed.” He chuckled again and rubbed at the back of his neck as he strode out of the room.

  “No,” Robbie mumbled, “but I might be.”

  *****

  Luc woke up the next morning in a mood. The kind that everyone noticed, but no one mentioned. Not unless they wanted to get their head ripped off, beat with a flourish, and handed back as a wad of bloody pulp. He swung out to the dark side from time to time, but the black cloud that would hang over his head eventually drifted off. On this particular day, however, it seemed to take much longer than usual. That could only mean one thing: It wasn’t just a passing mood, something was bothering him.

  He sulked as he stared out the window, fully aware of Robbie peeking over at him. He completely ignored her. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially her. Why? Who the hell knew? His moods teetered without conscious thought half the time, and the main target of them tended to just be someone of convenience rather than someone he had an issue with. But, whatever the reason, he couldn’t stand to even look at her. So he didn’t, and he sat, glaring at the passing world during the entire drive to the mountains.

  When they arrived at their campsite, Luc was relieved to get some distance from Robbie. Within the confines of the car, he sensed whatever he was feeling towards her was festering and threatening to boil over. He needed some fucking fresh air, and something to keep his hands busy. Helping Lawson set up camp helped, although didn’t fully alleviate, his mood.

  “Something bothering you, Luc?” Lawson handed him another bag of gear as they fell into the familiar routine.

  “No.”

  “Oh, I can see that.”

  “I’m in a mood. That’s all.”

  “Seems more than that.” Lawson glanced at him. “Nothing happened then?”

  “No. What would have fucking happened between when I went to bed and when I got up? I just woke up in a mood, and I’d appreciate it if everyone would leave me the fuck alone about it.”

  “Hey, now. Like you said, no one did anything to you. So let’s try to keep it clean and not blast the world around you, okay?”

  “Jesus. It’s gotten to the point a guy can’t just be in a bad mood.”

  “You have a right to your bad moods, but no right to make everyone else pay for them. If you don’t want to talk about it, then fine. But I won’t have you lashing out at the girls when they get back. This is a vacation. It’s supposed to be fun, and no one needs to worry about tip-toeing around you all day.”

  “Right. Like anyone would tip-toe. Like anyone really gives a flying fuck what my problem is.”

  Lawson dropped his tent pole and strode over. He turned Luc with a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

  Luc prepared to rant, but huffed a breath instead. “No.” Pulling his hands through his hair, he let the tension roll out of his muscles. “No. I don’t believe that. And I know everyone’s been tip-toeing, as you put it. But I don’t know what my problem is.”

  “Well, if you figure it out and you want to talk, you know where to find me. In the meantime, try to shut it down some—the girls are on their way.” He nodded past Luc at Leah and Robbie walking back to the site, carrying the smaller, more manageable supplies.

  Luc stooped to tie down the tent without looking at them.

  “Lawson,” Leah called out, “where do you want this stuff?”

  “Just over there, by Robbie’s tent.”

  “Robbie’s going to go for a little hike before lunch, Luc. You want to join her?”

  Luc looked over at Leah, and then at Robbie who—for once—was avoiding eye contact. “Fine.”

  “There,” Leah said to Robbie. “Told you he’d want to go.”

  “Oh, yeah. He sounds thrilled,” Robbie retorted sarcastically as she pulled out her hair tie. Shaking her curls out, she then smoothed it back into another tail.

  “You want me to go or not?” Luc asked.
r />   “Do whatever you want,” she said, still not looking at him.

  “Luc,” Lawson whispered with a nudge. “Go with her.”

  “Fine.”

  “And watch out for her, would ya?”

  Exasperated, Luc glared over at her as he responded to Lawson. “Don’t I always?”

  Lawson clapped a hand on his back, drawing Luc’s attention. “You’re a good friend to her.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Scowling, he grabbed his pack. “Let’s go.”

  They were a half-mile off and climbing up a ridge before Robbie started to nag.

  “Are you gonna tell me what bug crawled up your butt? Or just be mad at me all day?”

  “I’m not pissed at you.”

  “Then talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He heard her sigh behind him, a long, drawn out sound full of feminine dramatics. “Shit, Robbie. What do you want from me?”

  “What do I… Nothing, Luc. I just thought we were friends enough to where you’d talk to me about whatever’s bothering you.”

  “I don’t know what’s fucking bothering me.” He glared over his shoulder. “And I probably wouldn’t tell you even if I did.”

  She didn’t respond, and he didn’t turn to look, but by her footsteps he knew she was still following him.

  Just let her stew about it. He didn’t owe her anything. No explanation, no apology, nothing. So why the hell did he feel guilty then? Still scowling, he decided to throw her a bone, not because she deserved it, but just so their time together might be easier on him if she wasn’t pouting, as he knew she would be. Another look over his shoulder confirmed it.

  “So, how’s Scott?”

  “Scott?” Surprise colored her voice.

  “Your date.”

  “Oh, that. Well… It was fine.”

  They stopped at the top of the ridge and each sat on a boulder to rest.

  “Doesn’t sound good. Couldn’t have been too bad. You didn’t get home till after midnight.”

  She looked at him over her water bottle as she tipped it back. “Did you wait up for me?”

  “Hell, no. You woke my ass up.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t think I was that loud.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t what I was expecting. The date, that is.”

  “Not exciting enough for you?” He uncapped his water bottle. “How did the practice pay off?”

  She blushed and laughed. “I guess that wasn’t what I was expecting.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He…well, he wasn’t…good.”

  Luc nearly spit out his water. “Just what do you mean by good?”

  She looked at him and flushed an even deeper color. “He wasn’t good…at kissing.”

  “Oh! That.”

  “What did you think I meant?”

  “I thought you were saying he wasn’t good in the sack.”

  “In the… Jesus, Stretch! Seriously?!”

  “Hey, not my fault. My mind just went there.” He chuckled as he leaned back on his palms, tipping his face to the sun. “So, in other words, after me, all guys will pale in comparison. Sounds about right.”

  “Oh, boy, you’re really full of yourself, aren’t you?”

  “Go ahead and admit it. You’ll feel better after you do.”

  “Okay, I’ll admit that you were a much better kisser than he was.” And then she mumbled, “Definitely, much better.”

  His grin was wide and genuine. “You just let me know if you need any more practice there, Squirt.” He looked over and winked at her pouty expression.

  “Very funny. Make fun of the girl who doesn’t know how to kiss.”

  “Who says you don’t know how? You’re not bad. Not bad at all. I’d say you have a natural knack for it.”

  “Yeah?” She raised a brow.

  “Sure. And you’ll snag a guy who appreciates it someday.”

  “Just one?”

  His brow furrowed. “Better be just one.”

  Giggling, she hopped off the boulder. “Are you being protective, Luc?”

  “Hell, no. Just stating the facts.” He landed next to her. “I know I like a girl that can kiss. Most guys do. Just don’t go getting a bad rep by running around kissing guys all the time.”

  “Ew. Of course I won’t.”

  “And that just brings me back around to my original offer.”

  “To let me practice on you whenever I want? Ha! Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” She smiled, knocking him with her shoulder. “Such a selfless offer.”

  “That’s just the kind of guy I am.”

  Luc’s mood was better after that, and only continued to brighten with the constant banter zinging back and forth between him and Robbie. He still never figured out what exactly was bothering him, but after he felt better, who the hell cared? Instead, he just enjoyed the hike.

  “Hey, Rob! Look at this!” Luc looked behind him but he didn’t see her. “You comin’, or what?”

  “Hold your horses. I’m tying my shoe.”

  He surveyed the dirt road. The pile of boulders and rocks compacted together between the road and the hill, and then to the other side where a trio of scarred Oak trees bent with another pile of rocks scattered around their trunks.

  “What is it?” She jogged up behind him.

  He gestured at the rocks. “Looks like a rockslide. A hell of one, too.” He kicked at a smaller piece of debris sitting in the middle of the road and stopped to look up the hill. “Can you imagine seeing something like that? Shit, the sound of it alone would have been awesome! Look.” He pointed at the wasteland the destruction made; the bare, brown path beaten down along the otherwise lush green hillside. “It must have broken off that rock face up there.” He turned to look at the trees again. “There’re weeds there. Lots of them. Must have happened a while back.”

  Picking up a stone, he tossed it down the hill when a strange sound caught his attention. He realized he’d heard it on the onset, when it was quieter, but hadn’t paid it any mind. But now, it was getting louder, and rougher. He shot a glance at Robbie, and his feet were moving almost before he registered there was a problem.

  Pale as a fucking ghost. That was all he could muster in his head as he reached for her. The next fractured thought was that she was dying. She clutched at her chest as her breath ripped out, fast and rough gasps that made his own chest ache. When he grabbed her shoulders, looked into her face, he saw the sweat on her brow wetting her hairline. And her eyes, those mesmerizing green eyes, were alight with terror. Simple, raw terror.

  “Robbie!” He shook her once—a hard, teeth-shattering shake—but the vacant stare didn’t focus. “Fuck! Rob! Snap out of it! Shit! Shit!”

  He jolted with the sudden understanding of what was going on. “Look at me, Robbie. Fucking look right here.” He got in her face, held her head still, and locked his eyes on hers. “Breathe. Long steady breaths. Just fucking breathe. Deep breath in. Now, Robbie!” He saw a flicker of recognition, of confusion. “That’s it, just breathe. Now let it out, slow. No, Rob, slow! That’s it.”

  He felt her slumping out of his hold and he moved down with her to control her descent. “Easy. Easy. Keep breathing. No, Robbie! Fucking look at me! That’s it.” He shrugged off his pack, reached in for a blanket. “There you go. Put this on. You’re fucking shaking.”

  Her breathing steadied, but her frame continued to quake. Cheeks flushed, she wrapped her arms around her knees and looked down to her hiking boots.

  “Calm down. It’s just an anxiety attack. Just…” He swallowed hard and cleared his throat, allowing himself to relax. “Just breathe.”

  Luc could tell by the measured rise and fall of her shoulders that she was consciously focusing on her breathing, and that the worst of it was over. “Fuck me, Rob. You gave me a fucking heart attack.”

  “How did you—” She cut off her own words as she buried her face in her hands.

  “How did I know what it was? I didn’t…not at first. Then I remem
bered what the L’s told me a couple years ago.”

  Robbie lifted her face. “Told you?”

  “Before you came to stay with us, they told me you were prone to panic attacks, and then told me what to do if you ever had one around me. I thought they were full of shit.” He shook his head. “Until now.”

  Robbie’s sharp emerald eyes blurred, and she bit her lip.

  “Oh, no you don’t. Don’t you fucking start crying on me, Rob.” But she went ahead and did anyway. Big, fat tears rolled down her cheeks, and they made Luc even more panicked than her attack did. “What’s wrong with you? What the hell happened?”

  She shook her head, then lowered her chin to her chest and wept.

  “Aw, shit,” he mumbled, sliding next to her to pat an uneasy hand on her back. “There, there.” He cringed at the cliché of his words, but didn’t even try to come up with any others. “Robbie…I don’t know what to do here.”

  She leaned into him, tipped her head on his shoulder as her shivering began to pass. “You’re here. That’s enough.”

  “What is it?”

  “They… This is where she died.” Her voice was so quiet, he barely made out the words.

  “Who—” His back straightened, and then he put an arm around her, pulled her close. “Your mother?”

  She nodded, her voice gaining more strength. “The car was right there. Under all that.”

  “Jesus.”

  “She just… It was quick. I remember it was quick. Instant. And my Dad…well, he held on. He was strong and held on until we got to the hospital. Until he knew I was safe. He gave the doctors a name. Anna Byrne. And Colin, I think. I remember Anna because my grandma was named that.” She took a deep breath. “He told them to call her, that she’d take care of his Peanut, that family does that for family. But they never found her.”

  Luc turned his head, pressed his mouth to her hair, and began stroking her ponytail. “I’m sorry, Robbie.”

  “Thanks, Luc.” She turned, and buried her face in his neck, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Do me a favor?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t tell the L’s about this. I don’t need them throwing me back in therapy.”

  “You sure you don’t want to talk it over with them? I mean, hell, they won’t make you go to therapy if you don’t want to.”