A Modern Love Story

by Jolyn Palliata

  “It feels…I don’t know…right, I guess, but rushed too. I mean, until last night I just wanted him to drop dead. Okay, not really, but you know what I mean.”

  “You never did tell me,” Robbie said, pulling open another drawer. “What did he say to convince you?”

  Lizbeth smiled when Robbie glanced over. “He was really very sweet about it. After he finally got me to agree to go up to his apartment with him—no easy task, mind you—he just dumped his guts. He said that seeing what you and Luc were going through made him realize how much he wanted to be with me.”

  Robbie considered this as she refolded a few rumpled shirts and placed them in a box. “Like what, specifically?”

  “Oh God, Rob. We don’t have to talk about this. I’m sorry—”

  “No, it’s okay. Really. I’m curious about how Conrad saw it play out. Ya know, his perspective. I know what yours is, and mine, but what’s his?”

  “He knows Luc fucked up. He doesn’t condone it, but he said he also understood it in a way. I guess Luc took it hard when you left, and Payten came at him pretty hot and heavy when he was at his lowest. He doesn’t condone what Luc did, but he could see how it happened.” Lizbeth shrugged. “Anyway, he said that Luc was beating himself up pretty good even before you came back, and then when you did, Conrad saw how it destroyed you both. Of course, by that time, I wasn’t talking to him anymore. That coupled with the fact that you and Luc so obviously wanted to be together, but couldn’t because of all the shit that happened, made him realize what he had in me and that he had to get me back.”

  Lizbeth looked over at Robbie and let her shoulders fall. “He explained it so much better than I just did. Plus, it took him about an hour to do it.”

  “No, no. I get it. Seeing what Luc and I were going through made him appreciate you more.”

  Lizbeth snorted. “You got a helluva way with words, Rob. You nailed it perfectly. Sorry. I suppose I could’ve said something like that instead of droning on about it.”

  “No problem.” Robbie flashed a quick smile. “I wanted to know his perspective, and now I do. So, thank you.”

  The doorbell rang and both women glanced at the clock.

  “I thought Conrad wasn’t getting here until noon,” Robbie said.

  “He’s not. And I told him that was the earliest he could come.”

  “I’ll go see who it is. This dresser’s empty.” She pushed the drawer shut. “Be right back.”

  Robbie picked her way through the scattered boxes—they really should start stacking these—as she meandered to the door. When she pulled it open, she was surprised to find Luc on the other side.

  “Luc?” She took in his appearance—dark circles under his eyes, disheveled hair, stubble along his jaw—and was immediately concerned. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Fine,” he said, his voice gruff. “I just wanted to tell you something.”

  Robbie took a step back to allow him in, but he shook his head.

  “No. I’m good out here. But I wanted to tell you I broke up with Payten this morning, and it’s all behind me now. I wanted you to hear it from me. I’m sorry it happened in the first place—I wish it never had.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, shoulders hunched forward. “I…you’re everything to me, Rob. You should hear that from me, too. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, and I think it’s only fair to warn you that I’m going to do everything in my power to prove my love for you, and to show you what you mean to me.” He shifted, his ears going red. “Will you have lunch with me tomorrow?”

  Robbie was so dumbstruck by his admission that she nearly missed the question. “What? Oh. Lunch? Umm…I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Luc.”

  “Please, Robbie. I know I hurt you, and I hate that I did. You shouldn’t forgive me, but please, let me at least try to convince you to give me another chance.”

  Telling herself it was only lunch, she relented, but with obvious reservations. “Fine. But just lunch.”

  Luc nodded once, shoved his hands in his pockets, and turned to walk away. She began closing the door when she heard his voice again.

  “What does sleep tight mean?”

  She pulled the door back open and didn’t even think about the oddity of the question, she just answered it. “Some think it refers to when mattresses sat on a weaves of rope rather than a box spring. They could tighten or loosen the ropes to sleep loose, or sleep tight for comfort. But, more than likely, it’s just a made up expression to say sleep well.” She cocked her head to the side as she watched his smile grow. “What?”

  “I love you, Robbie.” And then he walked away.

  Robbie watched him until he was out of sight. She shut the door, leaning heavily against it with a sigh.

  “Did I just hear what I thought I heard?” Lizbeth said, peeking around the corner.

  “Were you eavesdropping?”

  “Hell, yeah. Spying too!” She smiled as she practically pranced down the hall. “So, what are you gonna do?”

  Robbie shrugged. “Looks like I’m going to lunch with him.”

  “And then?”

  “Beats the hell out of me.”

  “I never saw that side of Luc before. I always thought he was a giant prick.”

  Robbie laughed at the common assumption most people made. “He’s got his soft side. He just doesn’t show it very often.”

  “He does to you.”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Ya know, I noticed something that really shows me how he feels about you. I never picked up on it before, but looking back, it’s always been there.”

  “What has?”

  “You have a power over him, girl. There’s no denying it.”

  “No, I don’t.” Robbie looked down, then back up. “Do I?”

  “Didn’t you see his ears go red when he was talking to you? No other woman makes that man’s ears turn red, but you. No one else could.”

  Robbie smiled, feeling a smug sense of satisfaction.

  “You should work that,” Lizbeth said, pointing at her. “But be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt again.”

  “Don’t worry. Neither do I.”

  *****

  Robbie fussed over her outfit—a skirt and blouse—and then her hair. She felt ridiculous, like a teenager getting ready for her first date, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. She was already nervous enough about spending time with Luc after all they’d been through, but the fact that he’d sent her not one, but two bouquets of wild flowers prior to their lunch date had put her over the edge. That was not normal Luc behavior.

  To distract herself, she went out into the kitchen and fiddled over the flowers instead of herself for awhile. And while she did, a thousand questions raced through her head. What would she say to him? How would they act around each other? How do they get past this? Could they get past it?

  She nearly jumped out of her skin when the doorbell rang, and briefly wondered if she’d start hyperventilating. “Jesus Christ, I can’t handle this,” she mumbled, pulling the door open.

  Luc smiled wide when he saw her, and let out a breath. “Part of me was afraid you’d change your mind and wouldn’t answer.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, trying to put on a calm front. He seemed to buy it.

  “I made reservations for us at The Wine Cellar.”

  “Where we had our first real date,” Robbie said, her tone dropping with a pang of sadness.

  “Where we had a fresh start,” Luc said, holding his hand out to hers.

  She smiled and nodded, closing the door behind her. “Thank you for the flowers, Luc. They’re beautiful.”

  He brought her hand toward his lips, but when she tensed he let her go. “I’ve been meaning to get you flowers for awhile now, but never seemed to get it right. Now, that’s all I care about—getting it right.”

  She wasn’t sure what to say to that, feeling a little stiff and defensive, so she chose not to respond. Instea
d, she changed the subject by asking him about business at Hooligan’s.

  After that, conversation flowed freely between them. They talked about Robbie’s job hunt, her idea about finding a bigger apartment, and the L’s and their upcoming cruise. Basically, they talked about anything and everything except what had happened between them.

  “How has Colin been? Have you talked to him since you got back?”

  “Yeah. He’s doing good. At least I think he is. I haven’t heard from him in awhile. I was actually starting to get a little worried.”

  “I’m sure he’s fine.” Luc glanced at her concerned expression. “You’ve tried calling him, I assume?”

  She nodded. “The last time I got an email from him, he said to call when I had time to talk. But when I did, there was no answer. That was a week ago.”

  “And you’ve tried calling him since?”

  “Yeah. And I left messages too. I was thinking maybe I should have Scott go over and check on him.”

  Luc made a sound in his chest at the mention of Scott, and Robbie looked at him curiously. “Did you just growl?”

  “Of course not,” Luc grumbled, averting his eyes and stabbing at his steak.

  She smiled at his reaction, knowing where it stemmed from. “Lizbeth told me what she said to you. Yes, Scott had feelings for me, but no, nothing happened.”

  Luc lifted his gaze and began to smile, but it quickly faded. “It’s really none of my business.”

  Robbie hesitated, then said quietly, “I say it is.” She put her hand over his.

  He relaxed after that, even going so far as to agree with her about calling Scott. It seemed even Luc saw Colin’s behavior as out-of-the-ordinary, and he barely knew him.

  The rest of the afternoon slipped past as they sat and talked, and then went for a drive to talk some more. Robbie was actually sorry to see their time come to an end as he walked her to her door, hands linked between them. It almost seemed like old times, even before they had started dating.

  “Do you want to come inside?” she asked, not entirely sure it was the wisest idea she’d had, but deciding to go with her instincts.

  He linked his other hand with hers as he turned to face her, looking down at her with those deep, dark eyes. “I would love to, but I’m going to decline.”

  Watching for her reaction, he slowly leaned down to kiss her cheek. At first she tipped her head back in retreat, but then went with her gut again and tilted it up and to the side, giving him access.

  “I had a good time today, Luc.”

  “So did I.” He squeezed her hands before releasing them. “Could I see you again tomorrow?”

  She cocked her head to the side as she read his expression. Did he think she’d say no? She should, but she found she didn’t want to. “Sure. We could do that.”

  His shoulders seemed to lose their rigidity as he let out a small breath. “Great. I’ll see you then.” He leaned down for another quick peck. “I love you.”

  *****

  During the next week, Luc came and picked her up every afternoon to take her out. Every day it was something different; mini-golfing, bowling, shopping at the mall, even to a chick flick—all the things he normally wouldn’t be caught dead doing, all in the name of making Robbie happy. In addition, every other day she received a fresh, massive arrangement of wild flowers. Despite the fact her apartment was starting to look like a meadow, she loved the gesture. And, to her honest surprise, little by little, she found herself actually wanting to be with Luc again, in every way possible.

  After each outing, Luc would hold Robbie’s hand, walk her to her door, kiss her cheek, and say he loved her. But he never took her up on her offer to come inside, even though by the end of the week, she was entirely sure she wanted him to. Finally, she decided not to take no as an answer.

  Luc leaned down to plant his customary kiss on her cheek when suddenly Robbie turned her face into his, capturing his lips with hers. He froze against her for a moment, apparently unsure of where to take it. She made sure to help him along.

  Tangling her fingers in his hair, she held firm as her mouth moved against his, teasing and tempting him with her tongue. His arms banded around her, fisting against the small of her back and crushing her against his chest. His mouth was hot and eager on hers, matching her intensity and need.

  Unexpectedly, he eased back and squeezed her into a hug. His breath in her ear was gasping as he whispered his apologizes, that he hadn’t meant to get caught up in the moment. She couldn’t even wrap her head around what he was saying, not with his obvious excitement pressing hard into her belly.

  “Luc,” she whispered back, clinging to him. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong? I thought you wanted this.”

  He loosened his grip and held her at arm’s length. “Let’s go inside.”

  She smiled and nodded. His brow creased as he looked her in the eye. “Just to talk, Robbie.”

  She scowled and nearly argued, but figured a talk would provide her with some answers. They had better be good, though. Didn’t he say he wanted to be back with her? Didn’t he keep saying how much he loved her? She’d finally gotten the courage to give him another shot, and he denies her? None of it made sense.

  Robbie had to hold back from stomping through her apartment in frustration as she led him inside. Once they were in the living room, she sat in a huff on the couch, arms folded. Luc sunk in next to her.

  Tugging one of her hands loose, Luc engulfed it in both of his. “I know I’m confusing you, but I don’t mean to. Really, I don’t.”

  “So what gives?”

  “I didn’t think it was fair to you to…get physical…when we still haven’t even talked about what happened while you were gone.”

  Robbie looked away. “I don’t want to. I’m trying to put it behind us.”

  With a finger to her chin, he angled her face back toward him. “Let me ask you this. If a woman came up to me in Hooligan’s and started hitting on me, what would you guess my reaction would be?”

  Robbie paused as she thought about it.

  “See there?” Luc asked.

  “What? I didn’t even answer yet.”

  “You paused. That was enough.” He shook his head and sighed. “You don’t trust me, Rob. Not that I damn well expect you to, and I certainly don’t deserve it at this point, but I’m not about to get into an intense, physical relationship with you again when you don’t trust me. It’s not fair to you. I can wait.”

  “What if I don’t want to wait?”

  She shifted to straddle him, and he grabbed her arms. “I’m not playing games, Robbie, and I’m not trying to seduce, manipulate, or whatever. You have to trust me again. That is first and foremost for this to work out between us. This step is too important to skip.”

  Even though she felt a little rejected, she knew he was right. If he had asked her that same question about a woman hitting on him before she left for San Diego, she would have answered in an instant. She knew, whole-heartedly, that he would’ve told her to take a hike. But now…

  “Okay,” Robbie relented, slipping back off his lap. “So let’s start.”

  “Now?”

  His sudden panic almost amused her. “No time like the present.”

  He pulled his hands through his hair and nodded. “Where do you want me to start?”

  “Your choice.”

  “Okay. All right.” He took a deep breath, and dove in. “You were right about what you said. About when you left. I didn’t expect it, but I felt abandoned. It wasn’t even like that though… I mean, I felt it, but it wasn’t like I held it against you or anything. It was more that I missed the intensity of being with you. I’ve never loved anyone before, and I didn’t know how to handle it when you weren’t there. When I’m with you…shit, I feel alive. It’s the best word I can come up with to describe it. And when you left, you took that with you. I couldn’t deal.”

  He leveled his eyes at her. “I hope this doesn’t all sound like excuse
s to you. I know what I did was inexcusable, and I can’t even begin to explain how bad I feel. The regret. I’d rather cut off a limb than to hurt you. You have to believe me.”

  “I do, Luc. I believe you.”

  “I have to admit, my time with Payten is hazy at best. This is gonna sound like a line of shit, but I seriously don’t remember a lot of it. It’s frustrating as hell. I was with her…yes, I’m sorry, I was…but not many times. Jesus, not that the number of times fucking matters.” He grimaced, presumably over the swear word.

  “Don’t worry about it. Just take your time.” She wanted to hear this, needed to. They had to get past this to move forward. No matter how hard it was to hear, there really was no other way.

  “Those times I was with… I think I blocked it out or something. Maybe, deep down, I knew how wrong it was that my mind just kinda shut down?” The uncertainty in his tone made the last sentence sound like a question. By looking at his face, Robbie could tell he was lost in his own thoughts as he talked it through.

  “You really can’t remember, can you?”

  “No,” he huffed. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I know I was depressed, maybe even a little desperate, but I really don’t know why I did…well, what I did. I’m at fault, guaranteed. I’m not trying to dodge that bullet. But I can’t really explain it to you ‘cause I can’t figure it out myself.” His head fell against the back of the couch and he stared at the ceiling. “You shouldn’t trust me, Rob. Hell, I don’t even trust myself. I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.”

  His words triggered a thought, and she wondered about the significance. “Luc, remember that night last week at Hooligan’s? The night you and I argued in your office.”

  His groan told her he knew exactly which night she was talking about. “Jesus Christ, Robbie, if I had—”

  “No. Forget about that part. But your behavior… Luc, you were acting like a crazy person. Do you think something’s wrong? Like a chemical imbalance, or something?”

  “Shit. I am crazy then, huh?”

  “That’s not what I mean, but maybe there’s something that would explain all this.” Robbie huffed a small laugh. “I suppose I’m being naive in hoping there’s some other reason why you were with her, but I really think it’s something worth looking into. Seriously, Luc. You weren’t acting like yourself at all.”